A/N: Not as many reviews as I had hoped for but then at least I got a few. This is a nice long chapter. Enjoy and most assuredly review.

Chapter Nine

Making Amends

Beatrice gave Eik a few days to work out his problem just as she had gone over and over everything that had taken place. Neither of them were any genius when it came to intimacy. Both had sustained damage from those they had loved and trusted. In those days when she and Erik tiptoed around one another the air fairly crackled with repressed desires.

Hummer gave solace to Beatrice. The antics of the kitten amused her at the same time it aloud her focus to leave troubling thoughts for a short time. Erik had begun to play his organ at all hours of the day and night. For a pot of tea she would thump him a good one then thump the organ as well. When he picked out tunes on his violin she did not mind so much. The sounds did not vibrate so badly it made the crockery rattle.

She concluded they both had an equal part in this mess they were in. They need not discuss anything just yet. First they must find some common ground so they could relate to one another calmly without human desires overruling common sense. Having sexual tention between the two of them would be like putting a keg of gunpowder in the middle of the room and giving both of them a lit match.

Neither one appeared to be ready for anything remotely close to an intimate relationship. They both had so much baggage they must unload before beginning anything of a personal nature. Erik had been an emotional wreck after only simulating the intimate act. As for herself, Beatrice had felt a confusion of emotions. Frightened out of her wits had been the uppermost emotion at first.

She had even felt some lustful yearnings building up. Before she could adjust to the situation Erik had gone all tempestuous lustful man on her. If he had perhaps approached a little more slowly that may have given her time to get comfortable with him. They were both stuck in an untenable situation. If they worked together they may find a way to cohabitate companionably. If she could work out her issues with men in general things might be taken to the next level.

Beatrice did not rule out the possibility altogether. She could still recall those strange sensations Erik had caused in her body. They had been unknown and frightening but at the same time she had wanted more. With time perhaps they might be able to help one another with this problem of intimacy that plagued them both.

For now Beatrice would move slowly. Her plan for today was to surprise Erik with an apple pie and a pot of vegetable soup. She had no wine so it would be either water,tea or coffee. Perhaps she might take a bit of coffee along with the tea just in case Erik preferred coffee over tea. She liked coffee early in the morning then switched to hot sweet tea the rest of the day.

If she went and presented him with a fait accompli surely he would not object to sharing a meal with her. They could begin as if this was their first meeting. The worst he could do would be to shuck her and the food into the lake. Maybe if she brought Hummer along he would be less inclined to act beastly. She could handle the cold water should he feel so inclined to give her a bath in the lake.

At least she felt pretty sure that would be all he would do. Christine and Antoinette had both told her time and time again he had not harmed a woman. Meg had even added her little bit of support on the matter. Even Raoul had claimed never to have heard of any kidnappings by Erik other than Christine's.

Clearly Erik had suffered an unbearable life thus far. Would not two lost souls be able to come together offering comfort? Misery loves company. If that saying had any validity then she and Erik should get on like a house on fire. Two more miserable people she could not recall. For all he claimed to want his solitude Beatrice had a feeling he wanted to alone no more than she did. Her only requirement would be people around her who would never lay a cruel hand on her.

She had not one clue how to go about attracting a man. Erik would be a little resistant to any overture from her as he would still be feeling his confidence had taken a set down. Men tended to take such things to heart. Their very manhood would be defined by their prowess among other men. Women too would gossip about a man whose prowess seemed exemplary or even the opposite.

If anyone knew about ones confidence being trampled in the dirt it would be Beatrice. Lawrence had upbraided her often enough. He had left her with no sense of having any womanly charms at all. According to him he could get a better response from the dead. His disparagments had in the beginning hurt her very much. Later when her eyes began to see the truth she had let his words enter deaf ears. Of course by then the damage had already been done. Her sefl-esteem had bit the dust so to speak.

Erik must still feel the pain of Christine's loss as well. According to Antoinette Christine had been the only woman Erik had ever loved. She had been the only woman he had shown any romantic interest in of any kind. If all she had heard had any truth to it then Erik had never had any other female he could see in the light of a lover other than Christine.

He would not venture into a liaison with anyone in the opera house in case of rejection. Meg had been placed off limits. Antoinette had been more of a mother or sister figure.

Christine, having such a beautiful voice as well as being of a sweet nature, Erik could not help but fall in love with her once she began to mature. Christine had a beautiful face as well as a beautiful soul. Raoul should count himself lucky Erik had gone a little crazy or Christine may well have found it very hard to resist Erik's advances.

Catching a look at herself in the mirror Beatrice could hardly believe the person reflected back at her was really her. The men's clothing hung loosely upon her small frame. Her hair although brushed daily had not been washed for several days. When had this unkempt woman come about?

Looking down at her hands she almost wept. Her hands and hair had been two of her most attractive features. Now her hands hand small cuts, bruises and calluses had begun to form on the palms of her hands from all the poling she had done. Seeing the chipped and splitting nails she almost cried out loud.

She had managed to bring a jar of lotion with her but it would not last long. Soon the skin on her hands would begin to dry and crack from all the clothes washing and dishes. Once she had nothng to wash her hair but water it would lose its shine. Her hair woudl clump together from the oil. She'd look a slovenly mess. Would Erik even find her presentable as an intimate partner once everything started to go downhhill?

Hummer rubbed against her leg wanting attention. Tickling the little lady under her chin Beatrice thought she might take Hummer with her the next time she went to Erik's. Surely he could not resist such a cute and cuddly little thing? He himself did not have a cat which seemed odd to Beatrice.

Would not one come in handy where rats and mice abounded? She knew for certain if it had been her down here all alone that either a dog or cat would be making their home with her.

Cats she considered to be a necessity as well as companionable. Dogs could afford protection as well as giving warnings of intruders. A cat she thought more suitable in her current surroundings.

Beatrice heated water so she could refresh herself. She had taken out her dress and made sure it was not too unsightly from having been crammed into the case with all the other necessities women needed as well as all her newly acquired men's garments.

Taking pains with her hair, Beatrice brushed it until it crackled. It had taken two trips fetching and heating water just to wash her hair. All this trouble darn well better gain some little bit of appreciation from Monsieur Opera Ghost.

She may well be tempted to dump the soup in his lap if he at least could not show he noticed how much effort she put into presenting him with what she hoped would be a pleasant sight. She couldn't hope to compete with Christine and really had no wish to do so. Beatrice hoped he would come to regard her for her own unique qualities.

The pie she baked in the skillet turned out rather well until she had to remove it from the skillet so she could put the soup on to simmer. The mess that landed in the plate did not resemble a pie so much as something along the lines of an apple crumble. Well perhaps he would overlook the presentation when he tasted her offering. She had sampled it herself not wanting to have him gag if it tasted horrible. Blessedly it tasted better than it looked.

Loading everything into the boat was no easy task. She apparently would never be one who gained their seafaring legs. Her balance left much to be desired as the boat rocked from side to side every time she stepped aboard. Hummer apparantly liked the water even less than she did for the kitten jumped up digging her claws into the skirt of her dress.

Although poling along had gotten easier she still did trust that she would not upend the boat so she could not relax while the boat glided along the top of the water. Steering had become easier if she gave her full concentration to that and nothing else.

Arriving at Erik's home, Beatrice saw him working on what looked like his table. It had suffered some damage. Glancing around she noted other items turned upside down or laying on the stones near the lakeshore. No inclement weather had visited her inlet. This mess had the earmarks of a man's temper, a very unrstrained one to boot.

She supposed Erik had one of his temper tantrums or more likely a full out raging session by the looks of things. Everyone had warned her that Erik had such rage boiling just below the surface and it did not take much to have it spewing outward destroying all in its path. She made a mental note to steer clear of him if he showed any hint of displeasure.

Beatrice almost turned tail and poled herself back to the safety of her own little underground warren when Erik turned to face her. Bolstering her resolve to see this through, she bent to pick up the small crate she had used to pack the meal she had prepared. As soon as the boat had come close to shore Hummer had jumped ship happy to be on solid ground.

If they could make it through this meal without anyone coming to harm there might be hope for them to come to some understanding. Just what exactly Beatrice wished for it to entail she had not worked out as of yet.

She knew eventually that sharing intimacies was a part of her plan. If she could present it to him as a learning experience for the both of them maybe that would lesson his anxiety about what had happened. Men she knew tended to be overly sensitive about matters concerning their libido and what women thought of their talents in the bedroom.

Erik felt the hairs on the back of his neck rise in warning. It could only be one person. He dropped his head down to his chest in frustration. Did the woman not have sense enough to leave well enough alone? He did not know if he could bear facing her just yet if ever.

Did she intend to come so she might rub his face in his failure as a lover? Perhaps she came to taunt and tempt him, play with the monsters emotions, watch him fail yet again to stay the distance. If that was her game she would get far more than she bargained for. To poke at the prowling tiger would prove dangerous for her.

His first little taste of what the joys of joining with a woman could be had only wetted his appetite. The last few days despite coming to the resolution not to get anywhere near that woman, Erik now felt all that steadfast resolve melting away as if it had never been.

The surge of blood to his hard flesh stirred all those desires to enter where he had never been allowed to venture before.

He took a step toward her. He stopped abruptly as he noticed his less than fresh state. Damn if the woman must come to irritate him why could it not at least be when he looked somewhat presentable? He cursed roundly when he remember his mask and wig had been tossed aside when both ha begun to itch and irritate his flesh.

He had not bothered to shave or bathe the last few days as he had to mend all that he had broken. When Erik had expended all that fiery temper he had been greeted with the devastation left in its wake. He had destroyed pretty much all of his furniture during the time he had lost all control.

He could not stop the letting out of the built up anger until the black cloud had lifted from his mind. It had always been that way. Something would set him off then something inside snapped leaving him with only one goal, to expel as much of the rage as he possibly could in as short a time as possible.

Angrily he looked around for something to cover his atrosity of a face. Nothing came to hand so she could damn well put up with how he looked or leave. His money he placed firmly on her being so disgusted she would leave hastily. He couldn't honestly say that thought brought him any satisfaction.

"What do you want now? Have you come to gloat over my failure as a man? Tempt me so I might entertain you once again? I warn you, such endeavors place you in danger. I will not let anyone mock or degrade me again. If you come into my domain then let the consequences be on your head."

As he spoke Erik had been advancing on Beatrice even as she backed up toward the water. The familiar fear gripped her nearly paralyzing every muscle in place. She could feel the pounding of her heart as it shook her chest as if it too wished to escape.

When Beatrice felt the bow of the boat hit the back of her leg she suddenly stopped. She felt the damp penetration of the waters edge licking at the hem of her dress. Anger began to roil inside of her. She would not let another man cow her. She would be strong.

In some far off corner of reason in her mind, Beatrice knew his anger had more to do with embarrassment and the fact that he thought she had come to belittle him. Never would she do anything so hateful. Did she not remember her own humiliation when Lawrence pointed out her shortcomings then proceeded to the nearest willing woman to seek what his wife could not give him?

Erik acted like a wounded animal. When hurt, animals tend to strike out at any helping hand perceiving it as a threat or the deliverer of more of the same. She could not help but compare her reaction to Erik's reaction to her.

They both had been deeply wounded and acted accordingly. They sought to protect themselves in the only ways they knew how. Beatrice had at last taken the stand that she would do all she could to heal herself. She'd not live out her life afraid of a man's touch. What sort of life would it be to always be alone? That life suited some people but Beatrice knew she could never be one of them.

Once Erik knew the truth of things would he not be a little less belligerent? Taking her life in her hands Beatrice decided to ignore Erik's off-putting welcome. Calling to Hummer Beatrice took her basket and sidestepped around Erik's body which seemed poised for attack.

"I brought dinner. I made more than enough for two. Who else would I have to share it with? Little Hummer eats very sparingly at the moment."

Hummer? Erik looked stunned as he watched Beatrice walk past him seemingly without a care in the world. The little fluff ball that trailed behind could not have surprised him more if some creature from a fairy tale had come to life before his very eyes.

A cat? The woman had brought an animal into his domain without so much as a by your leave? What next? Would he one day find a circus parading through his home on its way to entertain whoever else had taken up residence in his once private domain?

Beatrice looked around for a place where they might dine. The table had suffered damage at one end. It looked to be much shorter in length than it had the last time she had seen it. She could only shudder to think of the phenomenal strength it would take to split a table in half. It had been repaired but sat upended clamped together. She could smell the strong scent of some adhesive.

Opting to use the little table in the corner Beatrice removed the lamp to scoot it to the middle of the room. Turning to Erik she said, "If you would like to wash up while I get things set out, we can eat when you are ready."

Erik could not find one thing to say that would be appropriate to say in the presence of a lady. Many phrases tumbled around in his head. His stomach having taken notice of flavorful food in the offing growled in warning if he so much as protested wanting one bite of that aromatic splendor.

Having tasted her cooking before Erik could not bring himself to dine on wine, cheese and stale bread one more night. If that made him weak willed so be it. A man needed sustenance to live did he not?

Beatrice felt her eyes drawn in Erik's direction more times than she cared to admit. He had gone behind a screen to wash. She had felt relieved not to be faced with a half naked man with water cascading down over tantalizing skin. She did not think she was ready for that quite yet.

A minute later she found herself to be proved wrong as she got a glimpse of Erik's shirtless body in a mirror opposite from where he stood splashing water over his hair, face and neck. The image reflected was just as disturbing as Beatrice had known it would be, bt for different reasons than she imagined.

He had slid off his shirt to let it hand from his trouser's waistband. His glorious back caught and held her attention for a good minute or two. Mesmerized her eyes followed the path his hands took over his body. She found herself wanting it to be her hands on his naked skin.

Lawrence had led a sedentary life therefore he had not been a man of muscle. She could not help but compare Erik's rather nicely toned muscles to her late husbands.

She felt a pang of guilt for staring at one man speculating how it would feel to explore those smooth plains and valleys which made up Erik's back. The many crisscrossing scars did not detract from the symmetry of his well developed physique.

Turning away with heated cheeks, Beatrice set her mind to laying out the food. It would not do to be caught ogling the man after their last encounter. A little at a time Beatrice. A little at a time.

She did not know if that reassurance had been for her benefit or Erik's. Neither would be ready to jump into any kind of relationship. Erik being a man of course would jump at the chance to be with a willing woman. Knowing his limited experience his eagerness would be understandable. It hurt her pride that he had not made any obvious indication he had noted the difference in her appearance. Would it have hurt him to set aside his anger for one moment to tell her she did not look like a woman of the streets?

Beatrice may not expect love from a man she became intimate with but she would at least like to know the man had some kind regard for her. Having made her best effort to look presentable she had no idea what more she could do to gain his interest. She had not expected any outlandish declarations but a simple "You look very nice tonight Beatrice" would have gone a long way to soothing her pride.

At the moment Erik seemed far too hurt by Christine to feel anything but distrust for another member of the female sex. Loving her deeply still would make it hard to give another woman the love she deserved if that is what she expected. Beatrice did not expect him to love her. If he could at least come to a point where she did not drive him to anger that would be a step in the right direction.

Such love as Erik had shown for Christine did not die over the span of a few short months. Perhaps it would never be totally driven from his heart. If Beatrice could accept that then all would be well. She was not certain if she could ever let a man have such control over her as a husband would have. Most men, at least those she knew were little despots. Raoul had been the exception in her limited knowledge of the beasts known as men.

Beatrice had gone about socially. What she had observed between those men and women had not impressed her as being of any substance. It had seemed to her to be about bringing families of wealth and power together so they might have more of the same. Love rarely had anything to do with matches made across a dinner table or in a drawing room between two heads of a family.

Raoul had been lucky in that his father had given him much of his inheritance at an early age and had not been keen on finding Raoul a suitable wife. Christine suited Raoul in every way as far as Beatrice could tell. Even their disagreements were more spats instigated she often thought just so they could quickly move on to the making up at the end of a disagreement.

Erik's reaching for a towel to dry himself had Beatrice turning hastily away. How humiliating it would be to have Erik catch her ogling him as if he were the meal she anticipated devouring. Now at least she knew she could find a man attractive and appreciate him as any other woman would.

Contrary to what they both expected, once they got over the awkward stage of stilted conversation things seemed to flow more naturally. She enquired if he had taken any further steps to free the prisoners. She had hesitated to bring this into the conversation but felt that the less they had to tiptoe around the less likely one of them would step on a mine during innocent exchanges. The least possibility for explosions of temper the better.

Erik hadn't seemed to mind discussing that subject. In fact from his casual response one would never guess he had suffered one of men's greatest blows to their ego. A few cautious strokes would go a long way in her bid to win him over. She encouraged him to tell her everything that had taken place.

Beatrice could not keep the astonishment from her face or voice when she marveled how Erik had been able to arrange the release of all those people. There had to have been around twenty or thirty pisoners. He had told her that would be his little secret when she inquired how he accomlished such a feat. Since she could not be trusted not to try a rescue another time he would keep the details to himself.

She had pretended to take offence. Her less than vehement protest had actually brought what Beatrice thought was the beginning of a smile to Erik's lips. She could not be certain as it had disappeared almost as quickly as it had come.

She complimented Erik on his craftsmanship as she pointed out different pieces of furniture he had placed strategically around his living space. Noticing all the carpenter's tools she guessed Erik had made most if not all of it. It would be hard for him to cart down large pieces of furniture without help. She admired his ability to make this simple grotto come alive as he created his new rooms adding little touches here and there. Beatrice soon became aware that Erik was a very complex and accomplished man.

Encouraged by her interest Erik proudly showed her around. As she continued to bolster his ego Beatrice could not help but take note that Erik's shoulders drew back as his posture seemed to take on a regal bearing.

Hoping not to encroach on anything too sensitive Beatrice asked how he had managed down here for so long without direct contact with the outside world. She intimated how clever she thought he must be to have made this his home unknown to all for so many years without making any references to his loss of sanity during his pursuit of Christine.

Once they had seated themselves in a pair of comfortable chairs Hummer took up residence on Erik's lap. At first he had stiffened when the kitten had climbed his trouser leg then promptly twirled about a couple of turns before lying down to begin purring contentedly.

Erik had never had much to do with any animal other than horses. Tentatively at first Erik ran a finger down over the fluffy fur on the kittens back. He was rewarded with a raspy lick on his finger. He could not help but smile at the gesture.

As he and Beatrice continued to discuss many different topics Erik stroked the kitten curled in is lap with more confident strokes. He found it quite soothing to be able to run his hand over the fur without fearing a reprisal of some sort. Touching and being touched had never brought him anything but sorrow.

When Beatrice yawned widely she knew it was time to end their pleasant evening. Everything had gone much better than she could have hoped. Ignoring his first irritated response had been the best way to go. The evening had progressed quite well. It gave Erik something to think about other than how miserable he was without Christine in his life.

Erik felt a strange pang as he watched Beatrice leaving. It wasn't as strong as what he felt when Christine had left but it did seem to be a similar emotion.

Never could Erik recall sitting across the table from a woman while holding a normal conversation. To sit by the fire as they conversed with the cat settled peacefully in his lap presented a picture of contented domesticity in his mind.

Would that be how he and Christine would have spent an evening if they had not parted? Deeply he felt the gut wrenching stabs at the thought of what might have been.

It wasn't fair for him to denigrate what Beatrice had given him by putting Christine in the place of Beatrice. He could not help how he felt. He had longed for Christine so long it had become second nature to have his mind connecting everything around him to little snippets of time he had spent with her.

For all the years he had been Christine's guide and musical guardian Erik had really not come to know her well at all. He had built an imaginary image of her over time. No woman could be expected to live up to the perfection Erik had placed on Christine's young shoulders. He certainly had not been prepared for her lustful encounters with Raoul nor her loss of her innocence during the time Raoul had spirited her away just before the beginning of rehearsals for Don Juan Triumphant.

Erik had given Christine too much responsibility for his happiness. All his energies had been focused solely on her. He had not given himself the opportunity to have found anyone else to give all his passion to. If he had left the door open perhaps someone would have given him some encouragement to make an approach as normal men did.

Shaking his head at such foolish speculation Erik scoffed at the idea a woman would let him within a mile of her for more than conversation. It would take a special woman to be able to handle the devastation under his mask. Those women were few and far between. Long after Beatrice left it did occur to him that not only had she tolerated his bare face but he had worn no wig either. All his shame had been laid bare for her to see. Not so much as a gasp had come from her.

In his lifetime he had probably only encountered less than the number of fingers on one hand the number of women who could bear to look at him. Beatrice…well Beatrice had not seen him at his worst. She had a glimpse of that monster that lurked just underneath the surface. Erik's face was not the sum total of his monstrous persona, but thus far it had been all Beatrice had seen of him.

He went to bed thinking of the surprisingly pleasant evening he had just spent with a woman. No threats, no kidnapping. No screams of horror or demands to be let go.

He wondered if he dared let himself believe things could go beyond a mere conversation. Even if it could with his heart still entwined with tendrils from Christine's memories locked inside his heart, would being with a woman be anything more than purely carnal gratification?

Just before sleep claimed him Erik had the idea that sexual pleasures without love would at least be better than never knowing those joys of the flesh at all.