Thank you for your reviews on the last chapter. And now, without further ado...

Chapter 9

Damon Salvatore is a complicated person. His past, his losses, his father's treatment of him has made him so. He does not trust easily, nor does he make many friends. He has not spoken to his father on any matter that does not have directly to do with business in three years. He loves his brother dearly but does not always confide in him, trying to protect him from Giuseppe even while making fun of his gentle ways. But if there is one simple thing about Damon, it is his feelings about one Bonnie Bennett. She is his. Just as he is hers. Always, forever, irrevocably. Even when she was a little thing of twelve and he was all grown up at fifteen. Yes, he did not have much time for a babbling child at the time, immersed in his studies, learning how to manage the growing family tobacco export business. But, even so, that Bonnie go to another person to share her secrets, that she take someone else into her confidence was unacceptable. He was her best friend, her confidante, her advisor. This is non-negotiable and anything different has never occurred to him.

That it might have occurred to her is a jolt to everything he believes in. He can admit that it is his fault. He was the one who had drawn away from the firmly established quartet, had left the children to their devices while he got more engrossed in 'adult' work. It hurt Stefan and Bonnie at first, he is aware of that. The girls would come to fetch his brother for a tramp through the woods and she would eagerly ask if he could join them. Her face would fall at his 'no' until she stopped asking. Damon can admit to feeling jealous the first time she had come up to his house and on seeing him, her first question had been, "Where can I find Stefan?" but had reasoned with himself that it was only natural that the difference in their ages would cause them to drift apart. When she started coming to him less and less, no more seeking him out as an audience, it had stung but he had told himself that it was better for her to learn to be independent. After all, he would not always be there. It was only when she turned fifteen, watching her come running towards him in a lovely gown, hair dressed in flowers and ribbons, did he realise 'Good God! Bonnie is a woman now' and of course he would always be there. Where else could he be?

But now, it seems that Bonnie has never realised this because she can tranquilly ask him "What does it matter to you?" as if she is not the most important part of his life, as if she is not the only thing that matters. Is she really so oblivious? He certainly has not been subtle, leaning away from her touch so his hands and lips and body do not develop minds of their own and decide to molest hers, and yet unable to resist, reaching forward to touch her cheek, her hair. His eyes, fixed on her as she and Caroline twirl amongst the falling leaves of the oak, getting bits of red and gold caught up in her dark locks like a flaming crown. And yet she does not know, she has no idea his world might fall apart if she picks another man.

Damon is furious and scared, as he marches into the Salvatore mansion, slamming the door in the process. He does not know what to do. Bonnie cannot, cannot accept Mikaelson's proposal. She cannot be so foolish. If she does, he will do something desperate...he...he will...

"I see you are back, brother."

"Did you know about Kol Mikaelson?" He whirls on his brother.

"I met him yesterday," Stefan admits cautiously. "Know what about him?"

"The bastard is trying to get Bonnie to marry him!"

"Well," Stefan manfully hides a grin. "He did seem very attentive to her during our walk. Bonnie seems to like him as well. She could do worse than a courteous, rich, devoted young admirer..."

"Damon!"

Both brothers look up in the direction of the study. Damon shoots his brother one burning glare before departing to answer the summons. His father will no doubt be displeased to learn he stopped at the Bennett house first instead of hurrying at once to bring him reports regarding the last shipping. Giuseppe has always disliked his friendship with Bonnie, he even made attempts to break it off in the beginning when he first learned that one of the daughters of the Bennett house was an illegitimate daughter of a slave. It had been one of the few points Damon and Stefan had directly opposed their father on, to his face. Now, he attempts to ignore it as best as he can until it is brought to his attention in an unavoidable manner, upon which he reads his sons a lecture on how they are dishonouring the Salvatore name and they must not be seen around her any longer. Neither Stefan nor Damon have made any attempts to obey their father's wishes in this regard.

X

"I do not trust his intentions. You say he had seen her once before he asked to court her. That is not right."

"I agree," Stefan sighs. "I do not believe Bonnie believes his intentions to be perfectly pure either, since she has not returned any answer yet. It may be that he thought she did not have many chances of marriage and wished to secure her hand before a fortune-hunter appeared on the scene, to protect her. But it would have been more decorous to wait a while."

"Why do you believe he is not one of said fortune-hunters? Bonnie does possess a considerable fortune." Damon sounds fretful and he hates it but he simply cannot pull his mind away from Bonnie and Kol and the way she was smiling up at him. Why would she do that? How many weeks did it take for him to coax out that bright smile from her? At least eight or nine, when he took her part in an argument against Caroline. And Bonnie has known that rat for no more than three days!

"The Mikaelsons are reputed to be very rich indeed, from their mother's side. Her father was a Lord, a part of the English aristocracy. It is said his grandfather left Niklaus Mikaelson an immense fortune. I doubt it is her inheritance they are after."

"Then what are they after? I refuse to believe Kol concluded after one meeting with her that he cannot survive without Bonnie," says Damon snidely.

"You might want to reign in your jealousy and control your temper, brother. You are unwittingly insulting Bonnie. If she hears all this, you may lose your chances altogether," Stefan shrugs. "Perhaps it is the Bennett connection they are after. Elijah is a powerful man in these parts."

Damon dissolves into thought. The only thing he can think to do now is go back to Bonnie and apologise, explain the reason for losing his temper. But will she believe him? Will she accept him? He should ask her to allow him to be her escort at the Ellison Ball. It is Bonnie and Caroline's first ball, since their coming out party was a small affair attended by only a few of the families from the town. Bonnie had been very deliberately excluded from the Fell Ball a month ago. He had been away but he remembers the determinedly humorous letter she had written telling him how it had led to the entire Bennett family shunning the Ball, a defeat for Mrs. Fell indeed as she had been counting on Elijah's powerful acquaintances to get her younger brother a good placement in the Navy. She had visited Jenna the following morning and explained how it was a great misunderstanding between her husband's secretary and herself. "You know how it is, Mrs. Bennett, I always say if you do not do something yourself, it is never done well." Jenna had smiled, accepted the not-quite-apology and explained Elijah had left that morning. Mrs. Fell did not make the pretence of waiting a few more minutes for the sake of politeness, before sweeping out of the house.

So yes, this would be the girls' first big ball and they must surely be looking forward to it. Yes, he would ask Bonnie. And if he could not tell her of his feelings yet, as that might possibly frighten her away, he could show her. He would.

X

This does not go quite according to plan.

He finds her in the Bennett library, curled up on the couch, a book in her hands. She is surprised to see him but she makes space for him on the couch, putting her feet down. She knows he regrets the harsh words they flung at each other, just as she does. She did not mean to say he abandoned her and that Kol is a better friend. The apology is not terribly smooth, since Damon does not like the idea of apologising to anybody. He stumbles over the words and Bonnie is surprised to find he is tense and nervous about something, although she cannot guess what. Still, he is sorry. He did not mean all of which he said and he admits he should not have said all that he did about her and her father.

"Bonnie, will you consider allowing me to escort you to the Ellison Ball?"

Her mouth falls open. Damon wants to escort her to the Ball? Well, he is her best friend but a gentleman that is not a relative escorting an unmarried young lady has certain significance that Bonnie does not even want to consider. The idea that Damon might think so of her...her heart beats a little faster. But no! What is she thinking? Of course he does not feel that way. His intentions are simply to be a good friend for an event he must surely know she is nervous about.

"Damon, I would have liked that. But Caroline and I are being accompanied by Miss Mikaelson. Her mamma is not well and is unable to attend, thus Momma is chaperoning her. I cannot abandon her. And besides, it would not be proper for us to go together."

"I see. And what of Miss Mikaelson's brother? He will surely be accompanying his sister."

"No, Damon," Bonnie sighs. "Her brothers will be arriving by themselves." She scrutinises him closely. He has walked away to examine the writing desk. He looks distant again, closed off. "Damon, what is really your concern? I know I have had certain bad experiences with strangers," her mind jumping back to the time a new family, having come to pay a visit to Jenna, had taken one look at Bonnie in the drawing room and retreated without even sitting down. "But Kol has been nothing but gentlemanly. He has not displayed one bit of prejudice."

She lets out a little squeak of surprise when he whirls around all of a sudden, comes up to her and drops to the ground in front of her, so he may be on eye level with her. "Do you feel anything for him, Bonnie? As...as more than a friend? Is it possible that you may agree to...becoming his wife?"

"I do not know! I do not know what to do and that is why I needed you here. My best friend, to advise me."

"Is that all that I am, the best friend? You are asking me to advise you on whether to marry another man?" His voice is rougher than she has heard in a while, and it is that same frightening energy from the previous afternoon drawing around them, spinning a web that they cannot escape even if they wanted to. And Bonnie wants to pull him closer, wants to send him away, wants to pull her fingers through his thick hair, wants to scream and run out of the library, wants to sink into him, wants to hide amongst the cushions so he cannot find her. But this is Damon, Damon who slung a pebble at her and helped her hunt for her ribbon. Damon who slept in her lap, trying to find safety from a tyrannical father. Damon, just the thought of whose fingers brushing her cheeks gives her shivers down the spine. Her mind, her heart, her emotions clash and struggle and fight, crying opposing instructions and Dear Lord, what is she supposed to do? His hands are fisted on the cushions on either side of her, trapping her there, his eyes are blazing and Bonnie has always found it astonishing and beautiful how Damon can have eyes the colour of ice but with the nature of fire.

"What do you want me to say!" she bursts out in desperation. "I do not know what you want anymore, Damon. You are not the boy I grew up with and it is terrifying! I do not know how to act around you. At times you draw me close and then you push me away, you smile and then you get angry! What do you want from me?"

"I want you to answer my question." His voice is low now, low enough that the cracks inside him are almost hidden from her sight but Damon can never really hide anything from her. She sees them, she sees he needs something from her but what is it? Which words of hers will bridge this ever-widening chasm that is newly opening up between them. She will say it. Whatever he needs from her, she will give it. Anything to seal those cracks, to eradicate the fear, the pain she can see blooming in his eyes the longer she keeps quiet.

She risks touching him, even though he looks like he might break under it. "You are my best friend." When he attempts to draw away, she clutches his arm tighter. "You always have been. My confidante, my safe place, one of the most important people in my life. Now, I do not quite know what you are but I know that a month with you gone swamped me in loneliness, and I do not know how I will feel if I have to spend more time away from you. But that is what will happen if you leave now, with this unresolved between us. So tell me Damon, what do you want me to say to you?"

He looks up at her and he can see the same fear he feels reflected in her face. Why is he being so hard on her? She is still so young, only sixteen. Perhaps, not old enough to realise what she feels or to accept it. Will he relinquish this because of fear and cowardice? This relationship that has kept him from drowning in a hundred different sorrows and heartaches all his life. He can say it first, can he not? Even if she cannot say it back, he can wait. Will he allow Kol, the three day old interloper, to come in between him and Bonnie?

"I love you. I am in love with you. And I do not know when exactly I realised it, but I think it has always been true. You established a place for yourself beside me from that very first scathing comment and I know that no other person can occupy that place. Nor would I want them to. I am yours. Always, no matter what happens. No matter the consequences, and there will be consequences. But we can go through them all together. I believe that."

Whatever Bonnie might have thought Damon would say, it was not that. Never that. She has not imagined it, then? Damon does feel that way and she need not be ashamed of the occasional stray wishes that cross her mind, for her desire for him to look at her a certain way. She has not been mistaken about it, the few times she has indulged herself in thinking about it? And now, he is waiting for her answer. Her hands grow cold. What should she say? Does she love him? Does she reciprocate his feelings? All she really knows is that she does not want to spend the rest of her life without Damon in it.

"Do you...do you always want to be around me?"

Damon frowns. What sort of response is that? He answers however, truthfully, as he always has been with her, "Most of the time, yes. Not when you are in a terrible temper though."

"Do you, perhaps, glance at me sometimes and suddenly feel that I am so beautiful you cannot breathe?"

"All the time, Bonnie," he smiles.

"And...you want to...to kiss me?"

"Yes. I want to take you in my arms and kiss you and lose myself in you, in your scent, in your body and never let go."

She goes scarlet. "And you feel like you can never be happy if I ever disappear from your side?"

He simply nods.

"I...I feel all those things, Damon, about you. So, I suppose I am in love with you too, if that is what being in love is."

"Thank the Lord," Damon Salvatore breathes out, crushing her to his chest, sealing his lips to her. And if Bonnie feels like her mouth is being plundered, well, she never thought she could be so happy to be plundered and robbed. As her body begins to heat up, well, they could both be on fire, the library, the house, everyone in it and Bonnie would not care. Really, here in Damon's arms, arms and bodies intertwined, mouths tangled together, trading breaths, flavours, touches, could possibly be the best way in the Universe to die.

x-x

God, this chapter was hard. I had to try very hard to prevent this story from falling into the trap of childhood friends, almost a brother-sister like relationship turning into a love story, because I hate those. They are so unrealistic. I had to make a conscious effort so Damon and Bonnie's relationship would never be sibling-like, even when they were young. I don't know if I succeeded. I had to establish a distance between them after a certain age, because they cannot be inseparable all their lives and suddenly boom, she turns sixteen and they're in love. And anyway, I felt it was logical that a fourteen year old boy, considered to be almost a grown man in those days, would not be inclined to play tag or forts with a group of eleven year olds.

Also, in case anyone feels there are contradictions in the first and second paragraphs, the explanation is, Damon's reasoning at this time is that Bonnie has to be independent and not come to him with all her problems but she certainly cannot go to anyone else with them (e.g. his brother) because that position of confidante, of comforter only belongs to him. It is immature and illogical, but well... that's Damon.

The conversation between them, well, I am praying people like it. This was not how I imagined them to confess their love but what can I say? My story developed a mind of its own. Please, please, please leave a review regarding your thoughts. They're important to me.

On an ending note, the drama is far from over. It has only begun. Remember, Damon and Bonnie having feelings for each other and acknowledging them, does not matter one bit in the grand scale of things, in those times.

Oh, and for those wondering, Elena does not exist in this story because a) I did not find her necessary to the plot in any way and b) I do not really like Elena but I am fair enough to admit that this might be because of bad writing on the show. As such I would not like to take a possibly positive character and make it terrible due to my prejudices.