"No," I screamed, sitting up and my magic flaring out, shoving the furniture in the room to the walls and away from me. Remus gasped as he struggled to breathe before he coughed and made me realise where I had been the night before.
"Demi, it's okay," he whispered hoarsely as he reached out for me. Falling off the edge of the bed, I scrambled away from him, terrified of what he could do as I remained partially trapped in my dream. Reaching the wall, I heard the door slam open, the vibration passing through the wall and causing me further distress. As hands grasped the top of my arms, I screamed again, fighting against the hold and managing to break free for only a few moments before someone held onto me securely.
"No, don't touch me," I screamed, continuing to fight until a familiar growl rumbled through the chest behind me.
"I won't hurt sister," he breathed, reminding me that Remus was with me.
"Let me go," I whimpered, struggling to break his hold. Slowly his arms loosened, allowing me to flee, remove myself to the furthest corner of the room from him and curl around myself, attempting to make myself unnoticeable.
"Sister," a gruff voice whined with a familiar aspect to the voice but I was lost in my terror.
"No," I whimpered again, fisting my fingers into my hair.
"Sister, please," he begged, causing me to lift my chin and open my eyes to see a pair of golden eyes looking back at me. He looked tortured as he watched me, tears beginning to fall down my cheeks as I realised it was Moony staring back at me and not Remus.
"Beautiful wolf," I whispered, his hand slowly reaching out to me. Flinching at the movement, he whined again before I slowly began to inch closer to him and then taking his hand. He swiftly enclosed me in his arms, causing me to tense for a moment before relaxing into the hold.
"I'll keep you safe," he whispered as footsteps made their way into the room.
"Miss Calixtus and Mr Lupin, it is time for you to both get up," the matron ordered suddenly, causing me to wince as I began to shake again.
"Please no," I begged, clutching onto the body that was holding me, feeling Remus coming back to himself and taking control again.
"Demi, it's okay, I have you, no one can hurt you anymore," he whispered, managing to push himself to his feet while holding me in his arms.
"Mr Lupin?" she inquired questioningly as he gently sat on the bed.
"She woke up screaming, she was terrified. What are you not telling us?" he demanded, rocking me and speaking softly, yet with power behind his words.
"It is not our place to say, she has to tell you when she is ready, but it will take some time for her to return to normal. Now, I need you to get her to drink these," the matron spoke softly this time. After a few moments, a vial was pressed to my lips and followed by another as soon as I had swallowed its contents. After three more vials I was finally left alone, the man holding me ensuring I was safe as footsteps then left the room.
"Are you alright?" he whispered, gently stroking his fingers down my spine.
"Do not worry, I am fine," I insisted, relaxing against him.
"You were screaming, that is more than nothing," he reminded, resting his cheek against the crown of my head.
"Please, I do not wish to speak of it, I never want to think of it again. I do not want to go through that pain again, not after everything. You're the only one who does not pressure me, please do not start," I begged, clutching his shirt and holding it tightly as I spoke.
"I understand, I'll stop, just don't push me away," he whispered, his hand finding mine and holding on tightly.
"You'll protect me?" I questioned, snuggling closer.
"I will, I always will," he breathed, tightening his arms and holding me closer.
"Miss Calixtus, I need to check you over and not with Mr Lupin in the room," the matron spoke up, causing us both to jump. Slowly Remus removed himself, ensuring I could see his actions clearly as he made to step away. He hesitated a moment before kissing my forehead and leaving the room, the matron watching us both closely.
"How much does he get hurt?" I inquired, assuming she would understand my question.
"Every time, but maybe next time it will be different," she offered as she aided me to my feet. Cautiously she began to peel the clothing covering my skin away, attempting to hide her reaction as she revealed clear, unmarred flesh.
"My magic heals me, it reacts when I need it to and it healed me, but I can still feel it," I informed her, wincing as her fingers ran over my shoulder.
"I have some potions for you to drink but if you are still feeling uncomfortable, come back here and see me. For now though, you may go with Mr Lupin and go get some food from the great hall," she informed me, taking a step back and draping a sheet over my shoulders.
"What happened to my trunk?" I asked softly as she reached the door.
"It is in your coat, all you have to do is return it to its original size," she answered, sending me a small smile before leaving me in the room alone. Moving around the room, clutching the sheet around me, I dug through my coat that was resting on one of the chairs, my hands shaking as I managed to extract my shrunken trunk.
Sitting on the edge of the bed once I was dressed, I was shaking my head, trying to rid myself of what was running through my thoughts and what was haunting me. Tears slowly dripped off my chin and fell onto my hands as I clasped them on my lap, trying to fight the sobs that wanted to tear through my body. It was a fight against myself, a fight that I knew I would eventually lose but I wanted to try, I wanted to hide what had happened to me.
"Demi, I have you, it's alright," a voice breathed as I was collected into a set of arms, but they were not the same set that had surrounded me earlier.
"Sirius," I whispered, clutching onto him like I had Remus.
"I won't hurt you, I never want to hurt you," he murmured, holding my head to his chest and refusing to let me go.
"Sirius, I'm hungry," I informed him, lifting my head and looking up to him, his cheeks wet with tears as he gazed down to me. A sob broke through my chest, my entire body shaking as my emotions overwhelmed me, made me fear what had happened and what would happen in the future.
"I won't let you go," he insisted, speaking into my hair and holding me tighter, pressing my head against his chest, allowing me to sob against his shirt.
"I never thought I would find people I could trust here, after everything that I have seen I never thought I would have friends," I admitted once I regained control again. Lifting my head once more, met his gaze and felt myself being entranced by his pale blue eyes.
"You will always have a friend in me," he whispered, brushing his lips softly to mine for a moment before he pulled back. "And in Remus and Lily, maybe even one day James and Peter," he added quickly, attempting to break the silence that lingered.
"I'm still hungry," I replied, removing myself from his lap and wiping away the lingering tears that remained on my cheeks.
"Then, let's get you some food," he answered as I shrunk my trunk again and carefully placed it in my pocket, ensuring that no one could find it or any evidence of who I really was. Taking his offered arm, he opened the door for me before leading me through the hospital wing and into the halls of the school. I clung tightly to his arm, my fear driving my need to be closer to the man at my side, hoping him, or one of his friends would protect me.
People were staring as we walked past, eyebrows raised at the man at my side, while his arm moved to encircle my shoulders and hold me closer. As we reached the entrance hall and made our way into the Great Hall the other students grew quiet, watching us both closely as we made our way to Sirius' friends and sat down. As soon as we were seated, the noise in the room returned, laughter and conversations echoing around the room again. I was silently listening to the conversations around me, trying to find out what the other students knew of my reappearance but nothing was said and I was dragged back to the people near me by Sirius' hand on my thigh.
"You need to eat something, remember," he urged, his hand gently squeezing my leg to encourage me.
"I don't trust it," I whispered, Lily watching me with concern from the other side.
"Trust your magic, don't forsake it just because something happened," he assured me, serving a bit of everything onto me plate for me with his other hand. Hesitantly, I raised my hand, the four other people around me watching closely as I allowed my magic to wash over my food and tell me it was free from anything that could harm me. Slowly, I began to eat, Sirius' hand remaining on my thigh as he roared with laughter with his friends, occasionally nudging my side with his elbow.
As dessert appeared, my hand dropped beneath the table and linked with Sirius', holding it tightly and refusing to let go as he glanced at me in concern. Subtly shaking my head, I reached across the table to serve myself some food, ignoring the stares of people around me and the sudden hush and wave of whispers.
"Can you help me with my Charms essay later?" Remus asked quietly across the table, distracting me from hearing what could possibly be said.
"Remus, you're the best in the class, why would you need help?" James teased making me smile as Remus' cheeks became red.
"I was just trying to get her to help so she could help you instead of having to help you myself," Remus countered, causing a burst of laughter to echo from the table. Having Sirius squeeze my hand lightly, I returned the gesture, before turning to Lily and speaking quietly to her about the schoolwork she currently had to do.
As dinner finished, Sirius removed his hand from my hold, separating us as he began to stand at the same time as his friends. He held out a hand to help me, walking beside me as his friends seemed to surround me as we went, almost as thought they had planned to keep me in the centre of them from the beginning. Even as we entered the common room, Sirius and Remus remained close as we then crossed the room and claimed the couches next to the fireplaces.
"Do you have to do the same homework we do?" James asked curiously as they all began to extract their textbooks from their bags.
"I think the professors would like me to and I do some of it but not all of it is going to help. I don't mind helping if you guys need it though," I answered, glancing across to Lily's parchment to read what she was studying.
"Potions," she stated with disdain, causing a murmur of agreement to pass around the table.
"Maybe the subject isn't the problem but the Professor, it's a simple subject, with the right person explaining it," I spoke, raising an eyebrow as they all looked at me expectantly. "I am not a teacher though but I can give you a book that could make it easier," I suggested, ducking my head as I leaned back against the couch.
"Was it one of your fathers?" Sirius asked quietly.
"It is but I wouldn't give you the original, it would be a copy," I insisted, knowing it was slightly harsh but it was something just came out.
They were quietly working with the occasional question, each working on a different subject and all their questions surprising me as they were asked. As it grew later into the evening, I snuggled further back into the couch, eventually resting my head onto Sirius' shoulder as he wrote his essay. Just as I was beginning to fall asleep, he bounced to his feet, causing me to drop face down onto the couch and waking me at the same time, only for all of us to look up at him in curiosity.
"I'm done," he exclaimed after a few moments of silence.
"I'm tired," I groaned in response.
"Let's all turn in, the last few days have been quite long," Lily suggested, climbing to her feet once she'd packed away all her work. Following her actions, I stepped around the edge of the couch before slowly making my way across the common room to head her off.
"What? No Goodnight?" James called teasingly as I reached the door.
"Oops, guess it didn't cross my mind. Unfortunately I will see you in the morning," I answered, smirking as I looked at them over my shoulder before heading up to the familiar dorm room and extracted my trunk out of my pocket and returned it to its normal size. Sitting on the edge of the bed I had used, I sighed heavily; at the same time that Lily stepped into the room and closed the door behind her.
"They were shocked at your reply," she stated as she sat on her bed and looked to me.
"I don't know what came over me, but I really think I need some sleep now," I admitted, clambering to my feet again and began to rifle through my trunk and extracted the clothes I required for sleep.
"If you need anything during the night, let me know," she replied as I began to change, knowing she would see the scars I had managed to hide from her so far. Lying down once I was done, I snuggled beneath the covers, before catching Lily's attention again.
"Thank you Lily, I am glad I have a friend in you, it is appreciated and I am glad to be here with you," I admitted, smiling genuinely at her as she brightly returned it.
"Well, I'm glad you can say that, because I am your friend and it won't change. I will be your friend as long as I live," she answered, moving over and lightly brushing a hand through my hair, before leaning down and softly pressing a kiss to my forehead. My smile widened as I closed my eyes, content with where I was again, feeling safer than had in months and I was thankful I had allowed my sister to drag me here.
I sat straight up, struggling for breath as I clutched the sheets that surrounded me, trying to calm myself as I panicked. Triggering a light to float above my head, the other beds in the room had the curtains drawn, preventing me from disrupting them as I clambered to my feet. Slowly, I made my way out of the dorm, down the stairs and to the common room, only to walk through and to the familiar boy's dormitory.
"Wha-" Sirius began as I slipped between the curtains to his bed, a faint light allowing him to see me as I lay down carefully beside him.
"Please do not make me sleep alone," I pleaded, his arms immediately wrapping around me as my shaking hands rested on his chest.
"I won't make you do anything," he whispered as he rested his chin on the top of my head as I snuggled closer to him.
"I am sorry I left, I never meant to hurt anyone," I cried, his hands softly trailing up and down my spine. He continued to murmur reassurances sleepily, lulling me into a calm state, comforting me in a way similar to how my father used to, yet at the same time completely different.
Slowly, his words began to fade, the sound reminding me that I needed to sleep, that we both did, despite my nightmare I kept reliving. Sighing, I allowed myself to become overwhelmed with sleep again, the grogginess taking over without a fight.
"Wake up," Sirius hissed, as I reacted, my hand shooting out along with my magic to protect myself. Opening my eyes, I realised what I had done, that Sirius was unable to breath as my magic suffocated him and I began to panic.
"No, I am sorry, please do not, please forgive me," I whispered as I reigned in my magic, fighting against it as it tried to protect me from the person at my side. Sirius gasped for breath, causing me to sigh in relief before crying, panicking as I tried to ensure he was alive. I placed my fingers on his neck as he struggled to open his eyes, my hands shaking as I moved them to his cheeks, knowing he was alive. My fear was controlling me, making it hard for me to know what I had to do to help him, even as he began to cough, his lungs having trouble to draw in air.
"Demi?" he croaked out, cracking open only one eye.
"I am sorry, I did not mean it, I am so sorry, please forgive me," I babbled, repeating myself as I cupped his cheeks and peered down at him. He raised a hand to touch my cheek, fingertips brushing the skin before falling back to the bed.
"What the hell is going-" Remus began as the curtains around the bed were thrown open and his friends stared at our position.
"She didn't mean it," Sirius croaked as I scrambled away, off the edge of the bed.
"What happened?" James questioned as I curled around myself, afraid of what I had done.
"She had a nightmare and she reacted, her magic lashed out but she didn't mean it. Make sure she's okay," Sirius struggled to explain, his voice hoarse as he spoke.
"Demi," Remus began softly as the others began shifting in the room loudly.
"I did not mean to," I sobbed, his hands softly grasping my arms.
"What was it about? What was the dream?" he asked softly, lifting me easily into his hold and moving around the room.
"I kept seeing what they did to me, what I did not remember. Please make it stop," I pleaded, squeezing my eyes shut in fear. Feeling the hands of the man that was holding me earlier on my shoulders, I flinched, terrified of what he would do in return.
"What did they do to you Demi? What happened while you were away?" Sirius asked quietly, his voice unable to be made any louder after what I had done. Shaking my head furiously, I felt more tears rapidly down my cheeks, my hands moving to my temples and being balled into my hair.
"I cannot," I whispered, beginning to rock on Remus' lap.
"We want to help; we can't help if you don't tell us what happened. We aren't going to hurt you," Sirius reassured as I finally opened my eyes, finally met his gaze again.
"They were following me," I began quietly, looking down at my lap as I lowered my hands and unfurled my body. "They caught me and insinuated what they were going to do. They did not know who I was; they just thought I was someone who was running because I was afraid. That was the last thing I remembered was them surrounding me, until I began dreaming tonight. They did things that I never wanted to happen, I never wanted them to touch me, I tried to fight them but I could not, I was exhausted and my magic was unresponsive. I knew that I had killed them, I was surrounded in their blood and they were torn to pieces. I do not know how it happened but they were dead and then I ran. I did not know where else to go, so I came here. I just wanted to be safe, I did not know where to go, I did not know what to do. I should have just let them kill me, they would have made sure none of this would have happened, I would be with my father again," I whispered my last words after somehow managing to speak the rest with a note of strength in my voice. Tears were dripping off my chin, my hands shaking violently as I reached up to wipe them away, Sirius' hands reaching out and catching mine.
"Sweetheart, we are just glad you are here and are safe with us, we will make sure it doesn't happen again. Just don't hide things from us, don't hide things from me," Sirius insisted, softly brushing his knuckles over my cheek and wiping away some of my tears.
"I was not meant to hurt you, I am sorry, I do not want anything to happen to you," I whispered, refusing to break our eye contact as the others watched us.
"Come on, let's get you to Madam Pomfrey, make sure everything is okay," he suggested, tugging me to my feet and catching me as I stumbled. Carefully, Remus helped him wrap me in a cloak, covering my skin as the others quickly dressed themselves. As I was passed to Remus, Sirius slowly moved to dress, his movements strained and pained as he moved around, before returning to my side.
"Are you sure you are alright?" I whispered, as he encircled his arms around me and began to lead me from the dormitory.
"I'm okay, a little shaky but I'm okay, right now, I'm worried about you though," he answered, kissing my temple and beginning the journey down the stairs. Reaching the common room, Lily was waiting, concerned as she saw my state, rushing over to us as other students milled around the room.
"What's going on?" she inquired when she reached us.
"Could you get her some clothing from her trunk and meet us in the Hospital Wing, it's just to make sure she's okay," Sirius answered, speaking for me as I turned my face into his chest.
"Of course, I'll see you there," she replied, before turning and heading back towards her dormitory. Drawing in a deep breath, Sirius began to move again, his steps precise as he made his way out of the Common room and into the school, my feet chilled by the stone floor as we made our way down multiple floors and into the Hospital Wing.
As Sirius made to move away, I clutched tighter at him, preventing him from moving, causing him to somehow situate us both on a bed, holding me on his lap. His arms tightened around me as I choked on a sob, all the events of the morning overwhelming and my concern for the man holding me increasing.
"What is going on here?" the Matron asked suddenly, causing me to jump but I was unable to flee because of the grip holding me.
"She had a nightmare and her magic tried to strangle me before she reined it in again. I don't know how to help her," Sirius explained shortly as the Matron lifted my chin from his chest.
"First, I need to make sure Mr Black is alright and there are no adverse effects of what has happened, then I will look over Miss Calixtus," she informed us, motioning for Sirius to let me go. Shaking my head furiously, I clutched onto Sirius as Remus stepped forward and lifted me away from him. Carefully the peeled my hands away, forcing me to remain in Remus' hold as he moved to the next bed, refusing to let me go.
Watching as the Matron performed the diagnostic, I struggled in Remus' hold, attempting to gain my freedom, without success. Seeing Sirius' hand reach out to me, I managed to push away from Remus, catching his hand before he dropped it, immediately responding to his strained smile as he met my gaze again.
"Everything seems to be alright Mr Black, but I will advise you to be careful with Miss Calixtus. Now Demitria, let's see how you are," she informed us before turning to me. Sirius tugged me onto the edge of the bed and moved to allow me to lay beside him as she began her diagnostics over me.
"It's okay," he whispered as I began to shake.
"I think the Headmaster should come down here and speak with you all. It is important that we get this sorted but for now, you are both in good health although a little shaken. Mr Potter, could you please go get the Headmaster and bring him down here," she explained before turning to the men waiting. Burying my head against Sirius again, I sighed at the safe feeling I got from him, needing that sense of stability and comfort that I managed to gain from two of the five people I found myself surrounded by.
Feeling fingers comb through my hair, I began to relax, the soft grumble echoing through his chest reminding me that I didn't have to be alone, that I had people surrounding me, that I had someone to rely on besides the one person I always had. I thought I had lost everyone I could trust, but slowly I was regaining what had disappeared, slowly I was finding people I could trust not to hurt me again. The grumble echoed again, lulling me into a sense of peace, allowing me to fall back into the state of sleep I was in earlier before I was plagued by my nightmares.
