After bathing I made my way over to the plush bed in the centre of the room and was asleep the second my head hit the pillow. The nightmares began soon after. I dreamed of claws and branches pulling at my hair, refusing to let go. Fire consuming flesh and screaming so high I felt my ear drums threaten to shatter. I woke up in a cold sweat, my chest heaving and took in my surroundings. I was safe, safe from the horrors within the forest and horrors in the Autumn Court. My father was probably livid, seething with anger over my escape. I wonder he guessed where I was or he was searching for his treasure, wanting to return me to my prison. It really hit my then, the place that I called home had been nothing more then a glorified prison holding me and bending me to its will. I got out of bed and walked to the door, opening it to peer into the hallway. Darkness and silence greeted me, everyone must've gone home to bed. I slipped into the hall and walked through the darkness to the balcony doors.

The city didn't fail to take my breath away again. Lights twinkled and music swayed and though it was close to dawn I could still see the stars.

"The city is truly marvellous isn't it?" A voice asked from behind making me jump. I spun around to see Azriel peeling himself off the wall, the shadows clinging to him as if they did not want to release their own. "I didn't mean to frighten you." He said calmly and moved to stand beside me, not close enough to touch but not too far that I could lean over if I wanted to.

"I think it will be a long time before the world stops scaring me." I breathed lightly, my heart was going a mile a minute and I swore he could hear it.

"Lucien insisted on a guard, I drew second shift." He said answering the unspoken question.

"You didn't have to do that, I thought this place was safe."

Azriel examined me from the corner of his eye. "It is, but it doesn't mean you wouldn't awaken and be frightened."

I turned away and surveyed down below again and my heart skipped a beat. "How could anyone be frightened here? I've never known such beauty."

"Nor have I." Azriel replied so lightly it was as if the wind had spoken.

We stood there in silence until day broke and the first signs of watery sun made themselves known over the horizon. When I turned back to him again he was gone as if the night shadows had stolen him away.

Lucien arrived a few hours later, a smile breaking over his face as he took me in. "I was praying last night had not been a dream." He said pulling me in tight. I hugged him hard and felt the nightmares of last night wash away. After a moment he pulled away and surveyed me closely, "perhaps we should take you to buy some new clothing today."

"Already handled Lucy." Mor exclaimed coming in from the balcony.

Lucien paled slightly, "I have asked you not to call me that."

"Hmm, must have slipped my mind." Mor said with a shrug. She stood and surveyed me from head to toe. "Such a beauty, this will be fun. Rhys refuses to let me know where he gets all his attire but I do know some hidden gems myself when it comes to finding clothing."

I forced a smile on my face, "that would be lovely."

Mor beamed as I disappeared down the hall to dress. Someone had laid out a simple dark green dress on my bed and a pair of silk slippers to change into. Truth be told, I had never been shopping. Clothes had always appeared in my armoire whenever I needed them, my mothers doing I suppose. I hoped it would not be awkward, Mor seemed nice enough but I did not really know how to talk to people. Especially people that could become a friend.

The hours flew by and before I knew it we were tossing our bags into the foyer and parting to ready ourselves for dinner. I couldn't remember the last time I had enjoyed myself so much, had I ever had so much fun. Mor was lovely, and that mouth of hers had kept me laughing all day. She had shown me the shopping district and charged everything to her cousins private account.

"Does Lucien fit in here?" I had asked over lunch.

Mor chewed on her bread thoughtfully before answering, "at first no...he wasn't ever supposed to come here. I believe he followed Feyre because of Elaine. During the war he proved himself and everyday since then has brought him closer to our family. I am glad he is here and thinks this place his home."

I was happy. Lucien had finally found a place he was not just needed but welcome. Eris had told me of Elaine, the human turned fae that Lucien had found his mating bond with. "Has she accepted him?"

Mor smiled, "she will. She's still healing from the war. They are close but she is fragile. Your brother is patient enough to break down her walls one by one, she will be his one day."

I smiled at the way Mor talked about her friends, her family. To have people speak about you with such love and pride was a foreign concept to me.

I dressed in my new clothes, a pair of tight fitting white cotton pants and a white long sleeve top that left a sliver of my navel showing, such different clothing here then my own home. Everyone was sitting around the table when I arrived, I took the empty play beside Lucien, Mor on my other side lost in conversation with her cousin. "So when exactly did Amren say she was coming back?"

"She didn't." Rhys said shoving food into his mouth.

"You said you received a message this morning."

"Yes well I did not think the dinner table was the place to discuss how Amren was enjoying Varians cock in Adriata." Rhys said with a shrug. Cassian let out a belting laugh, Azriel beside him tried to hide a grin behind his wine glass.

"By the cauldron," Mor said. "Is that really all she said. Disappears without a word for almost a year and sends a message about the princes cock, I shouldn't have expected anything less I suppose."

And dinner continued on as if that strange conversation hadn't just occurred, I was amazing at the discussions taking place around me. Cassian and Mor ended up in an argument halfway through which resulted in a wine jug shattering at the wall nearest the former, "that happens most nights." Feyre informed me with a gleam in her eye. "You'll get used to it."

That made me smile, perhaps they would want me to stay here with them. I hadn't really thought about where I would go if the situation wasn't permanent. After dinner I sought out Lucian in the sitting room. "You know I think the guards last night were unnecessary." I said taking a seat beside him on the couch.

He tensed for a moment and then looked at the floor. "I was going to stay myself, but Elaine has nightmares. Sometimes she calls for me, I don't know what would happen if I wasn't there. It didn't feel right leaving you here alone, I've left you alone enough for a lifetime."

My heart broke at his words, the guilt I saw in his hunched position. I took his hand and squeezed as hard as I could, "you didn't leave me Lucien. You were always in my heart and thoughts even when you were gone. To stay would've been foolish with those barbians lingering about."

Lucien looked up and smiled though it did not reach his eyes. "Was it truly that bad after I left? I know father kept you locked away in his keep but they didn't hurt you did they?"

"No. I was mostly ignored. Eris came sometimes but even he wasn't enough. I was content to live that life though until father decided to sell me."

His face hardened and for a moment it looked as if he would be sick. "It isn't right. What he does to his children. If you hadn't left I would've stormed the court and removed you myself before I ever let something like that happen."

"Thank you for saying that." I said and for a moment I knew he would've and that was enough for me. I had never been angry at Lucien for leaving but I had been angry at the loneliness it cost me. I blamed my brothers and father for that though. "Have you had word from the Autumn court?"

"No. Azriel has spy's and they will report to him when they hear something." Lucien stood looking at the window outside, the darkness getting heavy. "I'm afraid I must depart, I have meetings in the morning and then a picnic with Elaine."

His smile grew as he said her name and his eyes sparkled. "I'm glad for you." I said and stood to hug him goodbye. I truly was glad he was moving on from Jesminda, I hoped Elaine wouldn't ever hurt him.

~ thank you to bethyfisch for the lovely review. I will continue to work on the story, hopefully it doesn't take too long. I have lots of ideas for where I'm heading with it. I apologize to anyone for any grammar errors, my tablet sucks to type on sometimes