New A/N: There will be some emotional scenes. This chapter a gift from me to a young girl aspiring to be a writer on fanfiction I met a long time ago, who is not here today due to an accident. It's been a year. R.I.P. sweetheart.
You will be remembered by me, because you didn't forget me until the end.
Chapter Nine: Split That Personality!
Hirano Aoi was practically stomping down a day-lit corridor, a distressed look on her face, but her insides lurched and tumbled more violently than her aura. If her personal things, especially her music, carelessly fell into someone else's hands, she felt responsible for that happening in the first place and even more anxious for what other's thought of it. She was secretly insecure, unsure, and not confident like she seemed.
Her thoughts turned over and over, repeating the same question: Where did my CD go?
It wasn't actually that natural for her to swear, but out loud she did, and it sounded like second-nature. "F*ck!" she hissed, yanking at a hoodie cord. It was frustrating. Aoi's compositions weren't Aoi's! They were, well...
They were hers.
"Lost lamb, how art thou?"
Her eyes snapped to an unseemly flirt's, as she glared darkly into his deep blue irises. "I have no time for your shenanigans, Jingugi Ren," she huffed, as he leaned his side to the wall, getting comfortable.
"Oh really? Tell me, what are you looking for?"
His perfectly-arched brow ticked her off, and there was this random side of her that was jealous of this little thing that irritated Aoi more than his nosiness. Not able to speak, she ignored him, rushing past him. Before she could completely turn at the corner, Ren smoothly grabbed onto the black hood of her jacket, smirking triumphantly yet his eyes gave away a slight concern.
"I've got time. Let me help you find what you're looking for."
Her glare was hard to look at. "How do you know I'm looking for something?"
He barely shrugged. "How do I know indeed. But now I'm certain you're looking for something."
Aoi bristled, pushing him away and saying, "I'd like it if less people found it, especially you. Now keep your pants on and mind your own sh*t."
"Ho, ho. That language doesn't suit your tongue and voice, sweetheart," he called out behind her retreating form, deciding to give it a rest.
Stomping away once again, Aoi slapped away any lingering Ren-related thoughts before reflecting her anti-social self. What was it that attracted them to her? She obviously wanted her space, and she thought that was quite clear, but apparently it wasn't. Either that, or everyone just wanted to know her more despite her warnings and threats. Those meant nothing to them except Nanami Haruka, maybe, which she was relieved for but still.
Was it time for a different personality? She thought of it more and more, which was why she asked Ittoki about dyeing not too long ago.
Meanwhile, Ren chuckled to himself, never really speaking to Aoi but finding it all amusing. She wasn't as sweet and cute as his Little Lamb, but Lost Lambs had a different charm. They were unapproachable, yet attracting. A hard-to-get person who only the most persistent boys would pursue. That was Hirano Aoi.
He liked the different fashion style she presented than Haruka. Aoi often wore simple black or white jeans or leggings, and short shorts on occasion, unlike Haruka's flower-printed pleated skirts with pastel hues or angelic flowing skirts. Aoi wore sweaters and hoodies, loose and casual, while Haruka often wore fitting and soft dresses with cute jewelry and headbands the former lacked. Aoi had a more hipster look in contrast to Haruka's preppy, modest style. But, both tried not to reveal much about their body, as if they both were hiding something... either that, or they were just being proper and professional.
The little things. They were cute. Girls just had more clothes to choose from than boys, more colors to wear, more styles to explore with.
And while he stood with his typical loose polo with its popped collar and dark jeans with leather shoes, Ren couldn't help but remark, "Women."
Hijirikawa Masato had his free time himself.
He had worked endlessly with his manager to star and advertise in late night shows, advertisements, and small roles in popular television series. He sung with Ichinose Tokiya for a little show that donated the money reaped for a beneficial organization. Today was his day off, and Saotome insisted it for him himself because at this rate Masato no longer knew when to stop.
Walking into an empty, quiet dance room down a silent hall, he relished in the tranquil warmth of the sun and the cool of the air conditioner. The light poured comfortably in through the wide windows, the light on the ceiling not even needing to be on. Masato glanced over to the shelves, stacked with CDs and other little things, when he spotted a radio and a CD player. He also noticed the small speakers and some pairs of earphones and headphones.
Masato gripped the leather satchel strap, resting on his shoulder, as he looked down at the flap in front that hid Aoi's CD. Curiosity got the best of him, as he rotated to firmly shut the door and locked it, drawing out the CD and pushing the eject button on the CD player. He plugged the earphones in and raised the buds to his ears.
The song that played wasn't anything he'd heard before. It was simple and on the slow side, but steady and a little breathtaking. It had a little hopeful tone to it when he thought about it, but the first five seconds felt a little sad.
"Kono sora wa doko e, hirogatte iru no..."
'The sky spreads somewhere...'
The voice was doubtfully Aoi's. It wasn't hers, it couldn't be. And yet... it was.
Her voice was so high, almost trembling but piercing and clear. Aoi most definitely sounded wistful, slightly grim, but the lyrics said otherwise. Masato hadn't felt so captivated since the moments at Saotome Academy with Haruka.
He twitched. It wasn't something he expected, the impact the voice had on him. It was as if he could fly—so angelic, the fluffy feeling. It felt like Nanami's voice, however, which startled him even more. Perhaps he hadn't been around girls enough in his lifetime, which was what he wished to believe, but with everything, things began to make sense and at the same time, more questions arose.
'Compared than yesterday, tomorrow seems further away,
I'm waiting for you in the promised place.
Masato wondered if Aoi believed in Heaven. If she believed in a God.
'I can't do anything when I'm alone,
But I will stand, in order to protect you.'
He started to lose focus, his mind wrapped up in, Who? Who does she want to protect?
'Tears of loneliness, there's a day when it's spilled
Tears of regret cannot be stopped
Me from that day reflected in the mirror
At the promised place that spreads in this heart'
The song felt so heavy at this point that Masato realized how much feeling Aoi put into this song. Somehow, he knew that she composed it and wrote lyrics for it. It seemed like the most unfitting thing he'd heard, considering Aoi's demeanor and behavior towards everyone, but now he knew. He understood. Aoi was no less human than the most human person he'd met.
'It's okay to be lost, it's okay to be mistaken
Don't be discouraged by it, don't lose to it
All the bonds and memories
Are invisible gems
All of your crying and smiling faces
I will embrace it and overcome it
To that endless dream.'
Masato blinked. He let out a small sound, a sound that showed that he acknowledged what was happening to him. It swelled up in him that it came out of his eyes. The rain. He thought of his experiences, he reflected on the life he'd lived, he was reminded of his achievements and his regrets, the humanity in him and almost every word that he uttered. He remembered his thoughts. It was too strange, so provoking that he almost was too afraid to keep listening. He wanted it to stop.
This song wasn't something people could hear. Combined with the vocals, the piano, and the message she was so desperate to give, Masato's respect for her increased without his consent and he held onto the shelf, unable to stand.
'That time, at the unseen place
You arrive and laugh
Even if in the unused thing, and even in the broken dream
The flowers in this heart blooms'
"I admit defeat, Hirano-san," he whispered. "You must know, you must. Your talent, dare I say, rivals Nanami-san's."
'Even in this empty morning
Even in times of loneliness
Even in time of unease
Even in sleepless nights
Overwhelming feelings
Even if it burns hot'
He weeped without a sound, his thoughts ahead of him, as the memories of his best and worst moments collided with each other, giving him a mixed but heavy, heavy feeling. Masato never knew. He felt blind of his accomplishments all of a sudden, as if life was so much more that he'd ever realized weren't it for the song. He couldn't hear.
'From the heart, I say "thank you"
I believe that day will come someday
As long as there's dreams in this heart
I'll go forward—' [1]
Click.
Masato didn't know when his hand moved on its own, but he had no control over anything right now. The song stopped. He had no strength to finish it. He wanted to burn it, for it's something the world just could not hear. 'Are you ready?' He wasn't ready. Hell wasn't ready for that. The emotional timbre of Aoi's voice echoed and flowed in his entire being, hitting his heart and smashing it mercilessly and relentlessly.
He thought Aoi was heartless, unemotional, and an outcast that never belonged in the Saotome Corps. But... Masato was heartless and ignorant to her. His guilt-stricken mind asked her for forgiveness. He never felt this way. The new feelings Haruka and Aoi gave him were at opposite ends of the spectrum, but both were equally impacting him.
His throat tightened, his toes curled, his eyes were like separate lenses trying so hard to focus. He was deaf, stripped bare, and vulnerable. Reaching a hand up, he pinched the bridge of his nose to wake him up, rubbing his temple after. Masato began to eject the disc, his hand shaking.
It was foreign to him, because so far only Haruka had managed to do what Aoi did. He couldn't manage to tell if what he felt was good for him or not. It felt too raw for him. Those who hid their true selves would hate Aoi.
There was a knock at the door. He wiped his tears, looking over at the mirror wall to try to look presentable. His nose was a little red, but he didn't cry for very long, so he was a little okay. Masato just appeared to be paler than usual, but nothing too out of the ordinary.
Taking the disc with utmost care and pushing it into the case, Masato nearly shoved it into his satchel and moved to open the door. "Yes—?" he croaked, completely unlike him. His eyes widened at the same time as Haruka's.
"H-Hijiriwaka-san? Are you all right?" she asked quickly, tilting her head to peer into his eyes. He felt afraid, like he was wearing his emotions. The aftereffects were too clingy to him.
"Do..." He cleared his throat, inhaling deeply. "Do you know a song called, 'Yakusoku no Basho e?'"
Haruka parted her lips, her face lighting up. "I... I believe so? It's been so long since I've heard it, though. I have very vague memories of it, but I remember the beginning well—"
"You—!" Masato spoke without realizing, and stopped himself as soon as he spoke. He found his hands on her small shoulders, and her startled expression made him instantly regret his action. He retracted, evening his breathing. "My apologies."
"Oh, i-it's okay. You just startled me, Hijirikawa-san..." She showed deep concern. "What's wrong?"
He glanced behind him, and then stared into Haruka's eyes. "Can you sing it to me?"
She blinked, surprised. "R-Right now?"
"If you can, I'd really appreciate it."
She hesitated, unsure, but then drew a breath. "It's something like, daremo sagashiteru yume wa kitto aru, dokokani aru..."
'The dream that everyone is seeking for is surely out there, somewhere.' [2]
The lyrics were somewhat similar to Aoi's message, but this sounded like something Haruka would compose. The lyrics sounded like something she'd write. The song suited her, and the tune was different, so it was not the same.
Masato shook his head. "That's not the song I heard earlier, unfortunately," he confessed.
Haruka let out an, "Oh." She pursed her lips, not sure what to say. The two just stood awkwardly before each other, before Masato plucked out the CD case.
"I apologize. I simply cannot give this to Hirano-san after listening to it," he said. "I wasn't planning to hear it at first, but now it is in my deepest regret. I don't want to give this to her, or else she might know I heard it."
Haruka didn't understand initially, but then she glanced at the CD he held out. "Hirano-san's CD? Oh... you heard it without her knowing... did you?"
"I'm ashamed to confirm," he mumbled, but she heard it with an understanding nod.
"It's okay, Hijirikawa-san. It happens to all of us. I'd want to hear her song too."
He looked at her. "Have you?" he asked, almost timidly.
She smiled, but it seemed forced. "I have."
They both knew. They both kept quiet, and understood. [3]
Wearing a blue-haired wig, Hirano Aoi was found typing on her laptop, with her glasses, hoodie, and her favorite low-heeled boots. Tokiya had found her there. She didn't look up when she briskly asked, "Did you hear it?"
He stopped, confused. "Hear what?"
Aoi ceased typing and glanced up, sighing curtly. "Oh, it's you. I thought you were someone else."
Tokiya's nose wrinkled. It was very easy to question every word Aoi would say, but it was also easy to wise up and know that doing that would aggravate her. He sucked a breath and walked over to his bed, pretending to look for something, as he asked, "You're staying with Ren and Masato tonight?"
"I am."
He didn't want the awkward silence to ensue so he further questioned, "Who are you working with tomorrow?"
"Aijima Cecil. Maybe Kurosaki Ranmaru if I work with the former early."
"Oh, why him?"
"Because I haven't worked with him yet," she said off-handedly, scoffing as if he should've known.
She was being difficult, and Tokiya suddenly wondered why he was trying to strike up a converastion with her. He wasn't the type to do that at all, and both of them knew that.
"Do you need something?" Aoi questioned, closing her laptop. She turned to him, "Because if not, enough with the small talk. You and I have better things to do."
"Agreed," he quickly said, making a hasty leave. The whole event was just too strange for him to comprehend, and he wanted to escape from it.
Soon in the hall, he spotted Masato walking in a tense way, as if his mind was on the deep end of things, the stress level on his sleeve. Tokiya jogged up to him, about to greet him, when Masato swung over and said, "I'm not sure, please don't ask me."
Tokiya's reaction was rather lacking, more than either expected. "I didn't ask anything, Masato-san," he remarked. "Is the stress getting to you?"
Masato only rubbed his temples. "Perhaps," he half-lied.
"You should rest then. Today's your break, isn't it?" Tokiya patted Masato's shoulder. "I know from experience that overworking yourself will damage your health and performance. I advise that you stay in bed, or schedule a massage for tonight."
"You're right," the blue-haired man relented, nodding. "I need to take my mind off things, after all. Oh, and I didn't hear anything. Hirano-san's compositions. None."
He left before he could hear Tokiya utter, "I didn't ask..."
Mikaze Ai ever-so-nonchalantly invited himself into Ren and Masato's room, expecting Aoi to be sitting on a bed. And there she was, lying on Ranmaru's bed without his permission, as she closed her eyes and listened to an audiobook.
He moved in long strides and stood right before her. She didn't move an inch, knowing that he was there from the shadow that casted over her and the faint, familiar smell of lavender, but not caring much for it.
"Hirano Aoi."
She hummed lazily. "Get out."
"I have business with you."
Aoi then opened her eyes, her glasses off, but her contacts were on. They shone with a brilliant blue. "You're rather spontaneous, Mikaze Ai," she said with a slight playfulness in her tone. She closed her eyes and propped her knees up, one leg on top of another. "But now you need to schedule an appointment with me if it's business-related. You can't just do these kinds of things anymore."
"We're only playing one game here," he warned, sitting on her bed and yanking her earphones off. Aoi, irked, smacked his hand and sat up, her attention reluctantly on him.
"What do you want."
"You've composed other songs, correct?"
She half-scoffed, half-snorted. "You aren't here to steal all my other compositions now, are you—"
"I am not. We are not joking here, Hirano Aoi," Mikaze said gravely. Aoi's small smile vanquished.
"What do you know?"
"I heard from unstable sources that you've leaked another song in the hands of a STARISH member," Mikaze informed. "Kotobuki Reiji claimed that he caught sight of Hijirikawa Masato and Nanami Haruka talking about your music—"
"What?"
Mikaze knew not to repeat himself. It'd just overly upset the already-trembling young woman before him. Aoi breathed in deeply, attempting to suppress any intense feelings, and didn't speak for a moment, afraid to burst. The two were quiet for what felt like many minutes, the second hand on the clock ticking endlessly in their ears. He wasn't sure what to say, and low-key wondered if he should comfort her.
He decided to feign ignorance upon her feelings, like the robot she knew he was. "You'd be foolish to think that your true type of music wouldn't be revealed at all, Hirano Aoi."
It shouldn't have struck her heart so hard, but it did. The bitterness of Aoi accumulated, and it all came crashing down.
"Leave."
Her voice dripping in poison, her eyes betraying her wishes, revealing her heart, Aoi used up all of her hatred and sorrow in one piercing glare. Ren unceremoniously entered the room, noticed two bluish heads, and was about to comment when Aoi's eyes turned to him. He was not ready for that.
Not even Mikaze could handle her wrath, as he closed his eyes and quietly muttered, "Excuse me, allow me to explain more clearly—"
"I don't want your explanation, you *ss."
He became aware of the doormat he was becoming, and spoke more firmly, "I didn't hear the song Hijirikawa Masato had. Stop being ungrateful and childish. There is no room for that when dealing with professionals. If emotions are getting in your way so much that it bothers us idols, I will report you. Soon they will be fed up with your moodiness, as I'm sure you're well aware of."
Beyond words and wildly feverish, Aoi stood from Ranmaru's bed, slapping her hand across Mikaze's pale face and storming off, past a shocked Ren. All he could comment was, "Smooth, senpai."
It was deemed inappropriate. He knew that, but it was worth a try to lighten it up.
Ren looked over his shoulder and dared to stop Aoi with his hand. "Lost lamb, we're having dinner with Saotome and some other guests. That's why Love-senpai is here. I don't know what he told you instead, but don't take it to heart. We want you to have fun and get comfortable, okay?"
Aoi looked into his eyes, and Ren noticed how blue they were. Captivating, surely. Deep, undeniable. Sad, oh, it was clear. But she hardened her facial features, her jaw locked, as she pulled out her sunglasses hanging from her shirt and placed it over her eyes. Her expression was now completely masked, hidden.
"Thank you for your offer, but I must respectfully decline."
He chuckled, so not appropriate but he tried not to look embarrassed about it. "You can't miss this dinner. Saotome wouldn't let you do that."
"I meant the comfortable part."
Mikaze's hand gripped the sheets without him realizing. The feeling that washed over him made him question so much about humans and their emotions. It wasn't like he could feel physical pain, but at this moment... it stung.
"Oh, there's a new face!"
Aoi froze. Saotome was indeed there, there so that she couldn't escape, and there were three other strangers she'd never personally met and had only heard about. Her socially-inept self wanted to shy away, as her introverted-ness pleaded to rest.
"Ah, Haruka! Who's this?" Shibuya Tomochika asked her friend beside her, who only smiled nervously and introduced Aoi for only her to hear.
"Why, this is a face you dare to forget, Ringo!" Saotome exclaimed, his booming voice reaching all four corners of the large dining room. "This is STARISH and QUARTET NIGHT's critic and co-composer, hard-to-please, extremely-critical, Hirano Aoi!"
"Oh, joy," Aoi mumbled, not even bothering to smile when she felt a little torn inside. Masato was very fortunate for her to wear her glasses so that he didn't notice her death glare upon him. Her eyes had the intent of murder, something that went a little far for just a song, but that song specifically was for no one to hear. Wow. She felt so stupid to record it.
Ringo-sensei's eyes lit up like Christmas Eve. "Oh my! So you're the one I've heard so much about so quickly! You just came in and became so popular in this industry, oh, I can only imagine how famous you'll be once the public gets ahold of you—"
"Um, I'd rather be remaining on the tamer side of fame, thank you," she interrupted, adding, "In all due respect."
"Oh." Ringo tried to smile despite her words, as he said, "My name is Tsukimiya Ringo. I was the sensei of STARISH's Hijirikawa-kun, Shinomiya-kun, and their composer Nanami-chan."
Ryuya decided to speak up, "And I'm the sensei [4] of Jingugi, Ichinose, and Kurusu. My name is Hyuga Ryuya. A pleasure to be your acquaintance, Hirano."
"And I'm Shibuya Tomochika!" 'Tomo-chan' greeted in her usual upbeat and naturally-bright way. "Nice to meet you Hirano-chan! Can I call you Hira-chan?"
"Hey, I call her that!" Natsuki excitedly remarked.
Aoi clenched her jaw, but she long stopped caring that much. "Join the club."
"Eh! But I want to call her something unique, you know?" Natsuki hastily said. "Maybe... Ao-chan?"
"Hell no."
"Come! Sit!" Saotome bellowed gaily, motioning for her to sit at the only seat available— beside Hyuga-sensei and Masato. She was prepared to object, but swore to herself that she'd go through this and let out her pent-up emotions that night. Just for now, she'd stay calm.
Getting seated, Aoi noticed the food in front of her and was quick to ask, "Why is this American food?"
Natsuki blinked. "What's wrong about American food, Ao-chan?"
"Nothing, just... never mind."
Masato was more than aware that Aoi was ignoring him. Or at least, trying to. She was doing well so far, and he frankly was grateful for that and decided to not speak to her either when it wasn't necessary.
"May I ask why you seem to dislike American food?" Hyuga-sensei questioned curiously.
Aoi sighed, "It's not like I— well, I don't despise it, it's just. Well."
"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to," he said.
"No, it's fine. I don't know what it is with it, but I always feel like I'm eating nothing nutritious when it comes to American food. The only thing I'd like would be fries."
It was an absentminded response, but Ittoki heard it and found it even a little bit cute.
"I see. What do you prefer eating? We can ask the chefs here," Hyuga-sensei offered.
"I'm not much of an eater, so no need for that," she replied. "Thank you though."
Hyuga somehow understood that insisting would be a waste of his breath, so he didn't push it. "Alright."
Tomo and Haruka were talking to each other vivaciously, not speaking in a long while. Tokiya began to speak with Masato, who was beside him, as they talked about certain massage places. Syo was shoving leftovers to Natsuki like he was a dog. Mikaze was oddly but not too oddly silent, and Reiji was unsurprisingly lively, while Ranmaru picked at his vegetables and Camus was already quick to move on to dessert.
Ittoki stared at Hirano and uttered, "Aoi."
"You say something, Ikki?" Ren teased knowingly.
Ittoki blushed. "D-Don't misunderstand, Ren! I was just— I just— I never said her first name before."
Ren hummed, rubbing his chin. "Doesn't suit her, to be honest."
"Huh? W-What do you mean?" Ittoki was confused. "Her hair is blue, so Aoi should suit her just fine, right? [5]"
"I don't think so." Ren leaned to Ittoki on his left and lowered his voice. "I mean, doesn't the lost lamb look like an Aoi to you? Think about it. Don't just scratch the surface."
Ittoki stared longer at Aoi, until she turned his way. He could never tell if she was looking at him because of her glasses, but he averted his eyes and his face glowed red. Ren chuckled and earned a light glare from the redhead, but shrugged it off.
"Think she's suspicious? Saotome wouldn't take in someone like her, right? She just seems too uncooperative sometimes."
"Yeah... she doesn't have great health either..."
"She even asked me about hair dye earlier today, that strange woman."
"She did for me too!" Ittoki exclaimed in a hushed voice. "But why?"
"Well, maybe she just wants to change her look. Nothing strange there. Or..."
"Or—?"
Aoi abruptly stood up. "I'm thankful for all of this, but I want to get going," she announced loudly enough for the whole table to hear.
"Ah, ah, ah!" spoke Saotome in a sing-songy voice, his index finger wagging side to side. "Stop right there, Miss Hirari! I'd like to speak to you!"
Someone was about to correct him that her name was Hirano, but then everyone's attention was drawn to the indescribable look of alarm on Aoi's face. Some were about to ask out of concern if she was okay, but watched her swallow thickly and tighten her movements. She looked very uncomfortable, but it was obvious that she was trying not to show it.
"Right now?" she asked, her voice clear but she strained to make it that way.
"In private!" he confirmed with a jest. Mikaze quirked a brow.
Most of the people in the room expected her to decline. A good portion thought she'd just walk away with a word. But from the look on her face, for some reason, Mikaze and Masato felt like she'd go with Saotome's wishes.
"I'll be in the nearest lounge," she said, nodding. She turned on her heel and quietly walked herself out. The large dining hall was silent for a long moment, pausing to register what just happened, when Saotome stood up, wiped his mouth with a handkerchief, and bid himself 'til next time.
"What is it?"
"I have several things I'd like to discuss with you, Hirari," Saotome spoke, sounding already familiar with her with his choice of casually addressing her. She didn't care. "First off, you took off your wig when you entered a music room alone, and I noticed it through a camera. Why did you dye your hair?"
Aoi sighed, looking around, and the two walked off to a more private area. She pulled off her wig, revealing intense, golden locks. "I have no idea what sh*t I'm trying to pull off here, but since I'm going with my half-done plan here's what I have so far." She took a deep breath, "'Hirano Aoi' is getting too suspicious. My voice isn't comfortable getting so scratchy and rough and low. Also, wearing these glasses are becoming a pain. I want a personality that the others would want to avoid, since they seem so curious about my 'mysterious' personality."
"Well, I would've approved of the plan if you told me, Hirari. You know that."
"I know now," she groaned, running a hand through her hair.
"Do you think this is good?" Saotome leaned forward, inches from Hirano's face. She blinked with owlish eyes. "Or do you think you're running away now?"
Her eyes quickly narrowed. "I'm not running away."
"Hm. No matter how I look at it, I can't see it any other way! You silly girl!" Saotome hooted, retracting. "Remember the question I asked you a while ago? I'd like to ask you again. What are you so afraid of?"
Well, she didn't know.
"Ask me anytime, I wouldn't know the answer, Saotome."
Aoi didn't know. "Hirari" didn't know. No one freaking knew.
"Is that so? Hm. Hmm." Saotome repeatedly hummed, his voice low and almost gruff, as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully. He pondered for a considerate amount of time, and Aoi considered leaving him on that note. But then he said, "What if I told Nanami that you are her—"
"Do that, and I will kill myself."
He didn't find that amusing in the slightest. Aoi sounded so serious that it nearly threw him off. Him. Shining Saotome. But then he was quick to recover from the blow, laughing and bellowing, "No need for anything dramatic, Hirari! Just one more thing, since we covered other issues I wanted to discuss on the way. Your compositions."
"Yes, Saotome. What about them?" Aoi pursed her lips. Her biggest weakness and insecurity lay on her music.
"Take it down a few notches. The world can only bear Nanami's level for now. Slowly get them used to a taste of your style, then introduce more and more until we have the world at the palm of your influence. Just don't do it for worse, Hirari. I know you can do it."
She didn't speak immediately. Aoi couldn't find the words to express her confusion. She wasn't aware of the impact for some reason, and then it hit her in some places. The way Mikaze was desperate enough to be ordered around by her in a few ways. The way Camus complimented her music. The way Reiji wanted to hear her voice. Syo too. And Masato and Haruka's behavior around her. Their eyes. They had their eyes opened. Even Ren, f*cking Ren.
It was too much.
"No one can hear my true music, Saotome," she said finally. Her voice was so emotional that Saotome nearly dropped his jaw. "No one. Who can take it? Who can take me? It's like I don't belong in this world—"
"You do!" Saotome grabbed her small, shaking shoulders, begging her for more confidence. "Don't shed a tear for your talent, Hirari. Don't dare to! I won't tolerate it!"
A tear already slipped past her cheek. "I don't... I'm just so confused...?"
Saotome shook his head. "If you need to, just pretend you're someone else. You're getting there with your blonde hair. Formulate the rest of your plan. Hirari, act like someone else!"
It was opposite of what he said earlier, but he decided that he'd regret his words later. He needed her to stay in the music industry, and under his wing.
It was like he was hypnotizing her for a second. A flash of different personalities on the other side of Hirano Aoi's spectrum came to life: a dash of spunk, a sprinkle of sassiness, a bucketload of sweetness, a truckload of confidence, a world full of stage presence.
Saotome looked into her eyes, saw her nod and sniff decidedly, and said, "You will be... Kido Nagisa."
A few pointed fingers. Some blinked for what felt like eternity. All couldn't wrap their minds around the girl in front of her, with her high twin buns, her steel blue eyes, her wide smile, and her white... confident clothes.
"Hey! My name is Kido Nagisa, and I'll be fillin' in for your girl Aoi-chan because she couldn't stand any of y'all! Saotome approved of her request of a, uh, 'break' of some sorts. She's just not used to this routine yet. Not ready. Nuh uh."
"Now, tell them Kidoooo!" Saotome bellowed.
"Aye aye sir!" Nagisa saluted with two fingers and exclaimed, "As a close friend of hers, as we met in a hospital, I will fill in for her for a while! I'm not as good, but I promise to behave and serve well in her place! Please take care of me, hehe!"
That "hehe" was enough to break some people.
[1]: This is an actual song (I changed some of the lyrics for a more appropriate atmosphere), a song in Katekyo Hitman Reborn's soundtrack. This is an anime I saw all summer in 2010, and I fell in love with it after 25 or so episodes. It's slow at first, may I warn you, but it does get really good. At least, those were the feelings I had in my memories of it. It is called "Yakusoku no Basho e," sung by all of the main characters!
[2]: This is also an actual song, also called "Yakusoku no Basho e," except it's the second OP to the anime Kaleido Star. It's a little old and cheesy at times, but I really liked it as a kid. I realize now that I was never mainstream when I was younger haha.
[3]: At the time when I originally wrote this chapter, I was reading The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. I was in love with it, bless my heart! So that was (sort of) a quote from it, just as a good memory trigger.
[4]: Aoi's name, I think, means "blue." But um, "ao" means "blue" in Japanese, just so you know haha!
Closing A/N: This was long before, and I'm trying not to spill over. I just wish I had broken up the Masato scene with the Mikaze to dinner scene. Oh well. I was and I will always be prepared for the "0 to 100" comments.
Please let me know if you see any mistakes! I might've made tons while rewriting this difficult chapter! (It gave me a dad gum headache.)
Rewritten on: September 12, 2016
