Chapter 9. This was bound to Happen

"If you tell me to leave I'll leave, but just remember that I won't come back Haley.. I can't keep doing this if you keep changing your mind. I love you, I want you, but it's up to you." Her big brown eyes were wet and her make-up watered. Clutching the two year old in her arms, she stared up at me. "I love you too, but I can't be the other woman. I just can't. I can't keep worrying whether you'll be there when we need you I can't keep on living like this, to know that each moment you're not with me in Charlotte, her with her.. and Yes that is not my place I know that but I can't help feeling like that!"

I sighed deeply "Okay, then I'm gonna go." I nodded, I took her face in my hands and kissed her forehead. "Bye, Hales." Gently giving Jamie one last kiss I turned around and picked up my luggage.

"bye.." she whispered and then I walked out and pulled the door closed. It wasn't until I sat down on my bed in the hotel I'd be occupying until I could go home again, that the tears had begun to roll down my cheeks.

I felt like a fool that I'd never seen that it bothered her this much. I mean Brooke had hinted me in, but Brooke always makes such a big deal of that I didn't think she was right.

This had to be a very dark day in the history of the world. I just lost the woman I loved so dearly and my son. Sometimes I wished I could see inside her head just to know how long that had been on her mind… just so I could see the things to make it right. But maybe that was just it. It wasn't right.
the whole situation wasn't right, so I couldn't possibly make it right.

I had been cheating on my wife for the past three years and now my mistress had broken things off. It just sounded wrong, Haley wasn't my mistress. She was as much my wife, without the paper as Alison was with the piece of paper. It was going to be a long two weeks here in a hotel room by myself. I hoped I got to see Jamie while I was here. But it was going to take at least a week to let Haley calm down. I knew that.


As soon as the door closed I sunk to the floor like that first time I realized it wasn't gonna last. With a two year old Jamie on my lap I sat there on the bottom step of the stairs. "Mommy? Mommy sad?" Jamie gurgled. I gave him a weak smile. "yes Honey, but momma's going to be just fine. We're going to be just fine, 'cause we have awesome aunt Brooke, to spoil us rotten." I told my boy giving him an Eskimo kiss.

Brooke had convinced me to wait till Jamie was born with making a decision about having Nathan in our lives. Nathan had been there when I went into labor and stayed an extra week afterwards to make sure we were okay. Because he was there and because I love him and things were so great I let it go, or so I thought. When Jamie turned one, (as tragic as it was Jamie's birthday was in the same week as Milou's) Nathan had to be home. That's when all those feelings came rushing back. But Brooke said it was fate, and that it wasn't his fault(not that that the reason was that I felt so bad, just the fact that it was like that was bad.) that he'd been there the whole year when he needed him so there really was no reason to get all freaked out again. So when his birthday passed and Nathan made up for it with the promise to be there next year and do something special when he came back, I again decided to let go.

It wasn't my place to whine, I was the other woman.

Jamie squirmed in my arms and I let him go, as I sat on the step. He waddled away on his own two feet.

No, I snapped when Nathan called a week ago saying that something had come up and that he couldn't come to Charlotte. I yelled at him saying that I wasn't the only one who knew what I was getting myself into when I did this. That he too knew and that it brought along a responsibility. Again he apologized but this time when he came back, I was rocking a slightly disturbed two year old in my arms that was upset because he hadn't seen his father in three weeks.

I yelled at him telling him what had been on my mind for the last two years and a couple of months.

My mind over and over it the moment that he came home and I completely ignored him, because I was upset…

"Hales! I'm back!" Nathan called as he came home a week after Jamie's birthday. I continued doing the laundry while Jamie was napping. "Hales?" he called again.

I bit my bottom lip and blinked the tears from my eyes as I threw Brooke's jeans in the dryer and shut the door. "Haley!" he raised his voice, in annoyance. "Yes! Could you keep it down Jamie is asleep." I called back. I heard his footsteps come up the stairs. 'oh boy here we go.." I thought as I heard him approach. "Hales? Hey." He said as he opened the door to the laundry room. "Hi." I said in the most uninterested voice I could do.

"Is something wrong baby?" He asked as he wrapped his arms around my waist. I pulled roughly away from him and left the laundry room. "Is it that obvious?" I snapped at him, turning into my bedroom. "Hales? Did I do something to upset you?" I bit my lip and a drop of blood sipped out of it. I pulled my sheet together and began to make my bed. "You mean besides, skipping your son's birthday?" I snapped.

I threw two pillows on the bed and rushed out of the bedroom again but at the door Nathan grabbed my wrist and held me. "Haley, you know that was out of my reach.." he said.

I ripped my wrist away. "No! I do not! Because it wasn't! you could have done it but you WANTED to be home! So yes I am upset because of something you did Nathan!"

In the nursery Jamie began to cry and made my way over, but Nathan beat me to it. "Hales let me please? I haven't seen the boy in so long."

"Guess whose fault that is!"I said and passed him picking up Jamie from his crib.

I bounced Jamie on my hip trying to calm my boy down. His big blue eyes were filed with tears, and his little face red from crying.

I walked down the stairs into the kitchen. "Haley!" He called after me.

"Listen Nathan! You promised! You promised that you would make up for his missed birthday last year. Your son is two years old and you missed both his birthdays! I understand you've got a family in New York you want to spend time with, but the moment we had a baby, that was the moment you got the responsibility of being here when you need to be. Because when it was just me, I could handle it after all I was just your mistress, but I'm not anymore! We are your family, that means you owe it to us that you live your promises!" I rocked a only louder crying Jamie.

"Hales, baby. It kills me just as much as it kills you, that I wasn't there! Baby I love you, and the little boy. I love you both and I love being with you, but I have another family. I do my best to divide my time Haley. But have you got any idea how hard it s for me to keep balancing this? God Hales I've been doing this for over two years now BECAUSE I love you!"

I was sure that had been the point where I snapped and eventually came to the point in our fight where I didn't see a reason to keep on doing this over and over again. I wanted someone to want me and just me. Who would give his life to be with me and Nathan,.. he just wasn't that guy. I loved him nonetheless but I guess I just always had to love the bad guys. But then again, Nathan was a step up from Chris, so if I was lucky the next guy that would come along would be the guy.

It was then that I realized that I let this affair, this thing we had get out of hand. It was light and easy and it became something it wasn't supposed to be. I mean I loved my life here, but living here was the biggest turning point in our once so light and easy affair. It somehow made it serious heavy and then Jamie came and we became this second Family he had and he should never have gotten. I mean I love my boy, but it made it something it was never meant to be, but we were already in too deep. We were in love, we did anything to be together, and at some point it just wasn't what it once was…

We were never suppose to last forever, but the point where it was logical to break it off, just never came.. till now. I was going to have to continue with Jamie and Brooke. Like Nathan and I never happened…

Just then Brooke came home.

"Oh Haley…." She fell to the floor by my side. "Nathan came back?" She asked clearly already knowing the answer to that one. 'You ended it didn't you.." She sighed and hugged me.

"It was time Haley. I could see it in you ever day.. that it ate you up inside. This was bound to happen." She reasoned and reasoned, but it went beyond reason at this point for me. I pushed away a man I loved so much because I loved him so much.

"I just couldn't take it anymore Brooke. I should have ended it when I had the gut feeling the first time, then I wouldn't have exposed Jamie to it all. It's going to take so much from that little boy the bounce back from all this."

Brooke pulled me into a hug and I closed my wet eyes as I cried on her shoulder. "He's little he barely knows what going on.. He'll bounce back in no time." She assured me.

The following five days Brooke took off to spend every minute with me and Jamie, to keep our minds off Nathan. Although Nathan had called Brooke once to ask if he got to see Jamie, we had a good time all together.

I had missed spending so much time with my always busy best friend. But in times like these I guess you know your real friends..

Brooke had always been my knight in shining armor, or more my Amazone with Ice cream. My heroine. After the whole Chris thing I pretty much owed my life to her, and something told me, she was going to have to pull me together again.

One day she took us road tripping through North Carolina, with Jamie along. She was so great. Over the past week she's been so supportive, and not a word about the fact that he was her brother. Turns out all along she's been holding it over his head, that if she had to choose she's choose me that if she had to, she'd turn her back on the entire family all together because friendship was forever and Family was there to disown. (:P)

I took Jamie back to Tree Hill. My home town… I took Jamie back to all the places I had wanted to take Nathan. Show him where I came from and where I had my place in this world. Where I had my first performances, where I wrote my first song, where I had my first date, where I had my first kiss, where I went when I didn't want to be home. The places the meant the most to me, like the place where I lived before Brooke and I move to New York(this was in Charlotte), the place where I stood up to Chris with the help of Brooke and Peyton.

I wanted my baby boy to see this even if he was too young to understand, but I wanted him to grow up with it.

Today we came home, to a house that held a lot of good memories and some bad. I wasn't going to be sad, I told myself. I was going to be strong I had a week of crying and now I was zen… I was strong.

I was going to remember to good things. Like the day that Nathan returned from New York the day before Thanksgiving and brought me and Brooke these sugarcanes….

"Baby? I'm back! I've got a surprise!" Both me and Brooke stormed down the stairs and charged him. "Give it to me I love surprises." Brooke giggled as we knock him to the floor. "Wow.. that's what I call a warm welcome." Nathan chuckled and sat up. While Brooke stood up and brushed off her clothes, I went to sit beside him on the floor and pecked his lips gently. "Welcome home."I whispered.

He snuck his nose in the crook of my neck and wrapped an arm around my waist. "God I missed you." He murmured, while Brooke stood there tapping her foot impatiently. "Presents? Remember?" She urged. Nathan rolled his eyes and pecked my lips. "Sugarcanes." He said and pulled several sugarcane from his luggage. Brooke kinked her eyebrow.. "that all.." She pouted. I took one and got up from the floor. "Yes Brooke that all.." Nathan chuckled at his sister and stood up too.. handing Brooke a Sugarcane.. "Where's my boy.." He asked.

Brooke took off into the kitchen and I went to stand on my tiptoes to kiss him where after I told him that our boy was asleep upstairs..

"How was New York?' I asked as I led him upstairs.. "It's was good.. you know same old same old." He replied. I opened the door to the nursery and entered, pulling Nathan along with me. Our 14 months old baby boy was sound asleep in his crib. "he's grown so much." Nathan whispered. "I missed you so much.." He sounded sad… I pulled him to the big fluffy chair in the corner and pushed him down before sitting down in his lap. "He's a baby.. Nate. I grows so quick that even I think I'm missing out on everything from time to time.." I wrapped my arms around his neck and slowly brought my lips to his, kissing him ever so gently. I pulled away slowly and then pecked him quickly on his nose and giggled before jumping up and heading for the door. Nathan pouted and beat me to the door. "Where are you going." He said frowning/ pouting. I shrugged, but kinked my eyebrow mischievously. 'Nowhere in particular." He held one hand on the door while the other one kept me trapped between him and the door behind my back. "No, you're just going nowhere.." He said in a low growl…

His lips met with the skin of my neck and I let out a soft moan. "Nathan.." I breathed. "We can't do that here.. the .. baby." But no avail, he was working his hands, both of them up my shirt, as he continued to attack my neck with his lips.

"Nathan.. I'm not sleeping with you for the next two weeks if we wake up the baby.." I told him in an extremely low breathy voice, that clearly only turned him on more, because he pressed his hips more into me. "Don't wouldn't."He growled. I bit my lip to hold back a giggle.. "You really wanted to test that theory.." I grinned.

Nathan slipped a hand into my pants feeling my wetness through my panties.. and said; "you really wanted to carry out that thread, baby.." rubbing me through the fabric, causing my to let out another moan.. "Ssh… Hales.." He whispered.. "You'll wake Jamie.." I would stick to being stubborn.. and a bit of a tease.. "You should sleep in your own room tonight.." I whispered, rubbing my hand over the bulge in his pants. He had his own room, since he partially owned the house and in case family decided to visit him here..

"You wouldn't dare…"He growled, rubbing harder. "watch me." I said in a high squeezed voice.

That was the fun part of this memory..

"Nathan!!!!!" Brookes voice screech. "Damn it Brooke.." He muttered as her voice came to ears. He hated it when Brooke did that.. especially when we were just getting warmed up ..

He detached his lips from my neck. "What Brooke!?" He growled. "I'm kind of in the middle of something…" I giggled and he pecked my lips.. "Saved by the Brookie monster." I grinned, and he pulled his hand out of my pants.. "Keep your hands to yourself." I pulled away from the door and opened it, and left the nursery. "Nathan! You've got company!" Brooke screeched again, a little frantic. I straightened my clothes and skipped downstairs… "Relax Brooke, he's coming.." I called out as I turned around the corner of the stairs.. Oops.. Alison was standing at the bottom of the stairs with kids. Ouch..

"Hi.." I said perhaps a little hesitant. She frowned but then held out her hand. "Hi, I'm Alison.. Nathan's Wife.." I saw Brooke wince behind her. "Yeah, I know.. we met in New York once I think.." I said shaking her hand."So Nathan's upstairs..?" oh right..

"Um yeah, He's unpacking I think.." Shrugging and passed her patted Milou's head and went into the kitchen.. I was sure Nathan was trying calm 'down'. I poured myself a glass of water.. when I realized that Nathan usually unpacks his stuff in my room. Luckily…. Jamie began to cry and I had a good reason to rush upstairs..

When I came to his room he was lying down on his bed, it was then that I realized that his luggage was still downstairs.. "Um, Nathan." He groaned; 'Hales.. get lost.. I'm trying to lose this.." and he motioned to his crotch. I giggled.. "I've got something that helps.." I chuckled. He groaned again. 'What?" I bit my lip and leaned against the doorframe. "Your wife's downstairs.. oh that and your kids too." He shot up, and then frowned. "What? What is she doing here?" My smile faltered.. "Anyway.. she's waiting for you downstairs.." I swallowed hard and turned around and closed the door behind me.

In the nursery I picked Jamie and cradled him on my lap in my arms, as I sat down in the rocking chair on the other side of the room. Slowly rocking Jamie back to sleep while I listen to Nathan going down stairs.. greeting her and his kids… and I looked down at Jamie in my arms. He was cuddled up against my chest in my arms.. resting in my lap. Every day I marveled about how fast it was that he grew… my one year old and a little bit.

"are you okay Haley.." Looking up It was Brooke asking me. I noticed the fallen tear on my cheek and wiped it off my cheek. "Yeah, I'm fine." I looked back at Jamie. 'I love him so much.. It just hurts to see him here with her... in our house, our little paradise." She walked up to us and squatted down beside us. "How long is she staying?" I had been afraid of the answer…

Yes. I had all the right to be at the time.. she stayed to the full two weeks and then took him away from me. She took my two weeks with Nathan. We told her what we told everyone else. That I had a one night stand that had more consequences than hoped, as n explaination for Jamie. I was an singer and spend most of my time home with my son. Alison went to visit her parents for a bit but had been home for most of the time as well. Nathan tried to spend as much time with Jamie as possible and I loved him for that.

It was these memories that made convinced that I made the right choice.. no matter how much I loved him. No matter how much I missed him.

Life took it's turn.. like life does.. It's fate I suppose.


So, I'm kinda having a tough time putting the feeling of complete pain and desparation into it. Like the feeeling that you got when you saw Peyton find Ellie dead or Like when Haley sat on her patio in the middle of the night crying her eyes out at the end of 7.19 if you know what I mean. That feeling that's the feeling that belongs to haley crashing to the floor when Nathan closed the door behind him. I'm not sure I've caputured it well. (I'm btw impresed with the change of Haley behaviour I mean if you look back t al the previous seasons she's always the strong and bependable one and now she's falling apart and snaping at Jamie and pushing everyone away.. it's very unhaley because she's hurting .. I think Joy's acting it's really great in it all , it really makes you feel just as aweful as she feels...)

But that as a side note, So our time jump our story jump.. I remember someone telling me they didn't like the fairytales are for storybooks line because it made them think there wasn't going to be a happy ending... Well let's just saythat I promise that the next one will have a haley happily ever after...

Review please!

Love Philine