Title: Yuletide Cheer

Author: veritaserumMaster / PageNotFound404

Rating: T (Rating might go up in the future.)

Pairings: JPSS

Warnings: AU, Language.

Summary: Marauder Era. 7th year. Severus's life was a routine: wake up, eat, study, get bullied, study, eat, study, get bullied, study, eat, and sleep. Getting asked out by his Tormentor (with a capital letter T) though, was not on his itinerary.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything. Please don't sue me.

A/N: This story is slash, so if you don't like that, then why are you reading this in the first place?

I'm relatively early this time since I don't feel like studying for finals. Sorry (not really). Anyway, I'm probably going to finish this this month since my computer has a bug and I'd probably have to reformat everything again… Anyway, I just want to say thank you to everyone who's still following and reading this even if I update like once a millennia. Thank you so much for the reviews, too, they make me smile every time. :)

*JPSS*

It was oddly disturbing and slightly worrying that when Severus woke up that morning and there was no noise. No snore of his roommates, no chirping of the birds, nothing. He took his wand from under his pillow and checked the time. It was 6 in the morning and a Saturday, so where was everyone?

Slowly and carefully, Severus cast a charm that would pull back the curtains of his bed at the same time. Clutching his wand in his hand and expecting the worst, Severus was surprised to find no one there. The beds were empty and made. Huh.

He checked the time again, this time checking the date, too. Huh.

It was the day of the ball.

Severus groaned and slumped into his bed again. Everyone will be so busy today and they'll be in and out of the room in a few hours like the actual girls that they are. Speaking of, Severus sat up again when he realized that Lily wasn't here bombarding him with questions and bothering him with talks of dresses and balls.

That was weird yet pleasant at the same time. He just hopes that Lucius has talked Lily into not bothering him this day and not because he has been snapping at her all the time. In his defense, it has been a horrible week and he just wanted some peace and not talk about anything Potter-related. But she was relentless, so one afternoon on their free period, he snapped at her and walked away. He guessed he should apologize for that. But not right now. He was still so stressed out from detention that he didn't even want to move.

The professor had given him today off to go to the ball, but he had no plans to do so.

Feeling like he wouldn't be able to sleep anytime soon, Severus stood up and went to the washroom that everyone in the room shared. He washed his face and cleaned his mouth. He went back out scrubbing his face with his towel.

"Hey," someone said.

Severus clutched the towel to his face when he heard the voice. He didn't want to take the towel off his face in hopes that the voice was just his imagination.

"Severus," the voice called again.

Wearily, Severus took the towel off his face. He resigned himself to the fact that Potter won't leave without being able to talk and right now, he's too tired to put up a fight. Potter was sitting on the edge of Severus's bed, a familiar green scarf on his hands. Severus remained standing and looking at Potter with a neutral face.

It was so difficult being around Potter even for a short period of time because he can't seem to control his beating heart.

And Potter, Potter always had this uncanny ability to find him and pop up out of nowhere (He's too tired to question how Potter got in here in the first place). He has been bothering Severus since the fiasco in the Great Hall, trying to explain and apologize, but Severus won't fall for any of it ever again. Potter is a wolf in sheep's clothing.

"Potter."

"I know you don't want to see me and I know you're mad-"

Severus scoffed at that. Understatement of the year. "But really stop thinking whatever it is you're thinking because they're not true."

Severus's eyes sharpened, "You don't know what I'm thinking, Potter."

Potter flinched but otherwise remained determined. He nodded, "No, I don't. Because you won't talk to me."

"I don't have to."

"No, you don't. And it's fine, because for now I just really want you to listen, please?"

Severus didn't want to listen to him anymore. He's afraid that he's going to crumble and give in and then he'll be hurt again. Severus's has had enough of being hurt. But the look on Potter's face weakened his resolve. Just like every other time he looked at Severus recently, in was filled with determination and the kind of intensity that would make Severus fidget in place.

"Do I really have a choice, Potter?" he asked hotly. "You barge in here and invade my space, my privacy just because you can't get it into your thick skull that not everyone wants to hear your pitiful excuses. Let me get something straight, Potter, no matter how much you apologize, no matter how much you tell me that what happened was totally taken out of context or some such bullshit, there is no way I will forgive you," Severus prided himself when his voice never once wavered. But he wasn't done yet. Oh, he was just getting started. "You don't know what it feels like, Potter. You don't know what it feels like to be in my shoes. You have made my life here hell for seven years and then suddenly you want to get all chummy with me? Want to take me to the ball? Want to date me? I smelled foul play the minute you asked me but I still fell for it, because I was an idiot to believe you. And I thought I had forgotten my stupid crush on you, and I was ready to move on but then you poked your head in my life yet again and I let you, and I fell for you all over again and it did nothing but cause me heartache just like it has for the past seven years. So I'm sorry, Potter. I'm sorry if I can't forgive you because the pain is too fucking much."

By the time Severus was through his chest was heaving and his eyes were watery with tears. Potter was now standing in front of him, head bowed down.

"I'm sorry," he whispered.

"Welcome to the club, Potter," Severus managed.

He hated crying. It's a sign of weakness, his father used to say.

"I was a coward," Potter said and Severus huffed sarcastically.

"I was a coward," he repeated. "I liked you before, ever since I saw you. But I didn't know how to show you, and I was too afraid you'll turn me away and for all that our House is famous for bravery, I was scared. I'm always fucking scared when it comes to you, Severus. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry if I hurt you because of my cowardice. I can't turn back time, Severus, no matter how much I want to, I can't. And I understand if you will never forgive me, I can't even forgive myself right now. But please, listen, Severus. I love you, so much. And as the end of the year came, I panicked because I thought I'd never see you again and I was afraid of losing you. That fear overcame the fear of being turned away, and I couldn't let you go without a fight and I understand if I'm too late. But I do love you, Severus. Even if you don't believe that that girl never meant anything to me or that I never meant to hurt you in any way, please believe that I love you so much. I'll still be waiting for you at the Ball, Severus. I'll wait for you the whole night and if you don't come, then I'll understand, I will. I swear if you give me another chance I'll prove that I'm worth it. But if you don't go tonight then that'll be my answer and I won't bother you again."

At some point Potter had stepped forward and was standing in front of a crying Severus, his eyes were watery, too. Potter lifted his hands to wipe away Severus's tears. They stayed like that for a while, staring into each other's eyes, and Severus couldn't take it he looked away. Potter closed his eyes and inhaled deeply and softly brushed his lips against Severus cheeks and Severus closed his eyes. He felt Potter move away and when he opened his eyes again, Potter wasn't there anymore.

Severus allowed himself a few minutes of weakness and he collapsed to his knees, all the while quietly sobbing and whispering Potter's name.