We're into day four of no-cutting. I was ecstatic. I think Kai and the others are picking up on it. Kai doesn't seem to have picked up on why yet. I'm sure he will, soon, unless something happens. He might have though...sometimes it's hard to tell.
Lee cornered me yesterday. He pointedly asked when I was going to tell Kai. I was a bit upset at him, even though we were alone. I told him it was none of his business, but then felt bad about it. I didn't apologize though. I've asked him before to stay out of it. I know he is just looking out for me, but I don't need looking after. I need to sort this out.
This being my unreadable, sometimes reachable, oh-so-lovely team captain. Yeah, yeah, I know. He has a name. Actually he has three, Kai Alexander Hiwatari. Don't ask where I found his middle name. My sources are secure. (Great, now I'm writing my journal like I have an audience)Also known as the Russian Phoenix. Or asshole. Depending on who you ask and the day. [A/N: The Kanji in this section are particularly fluid and decorative]
I still don't know what to do. I know he's gay. But...I's hard. I can't just...well I could but...I wish I knew what was going on in his head, sometimes-just a glance-just enough to know if it is safe enough to try. The world just don't work that way though. If only it did.
I don't think my feelings are a passing thing. I've been analyzing them recently, and I think, if anything, they are getting stronger. I don't think they are going to go away, now or later for that matter. Which still leaves me at square one: what to do? It's my move, and I'm drawing a blank.
Skye: About the audience issue...if you don't want one, don't post your journal on the internet.
Rei: Kai doesn't come to sites like this-
Kai: I don't?
Rei: No you-Kai!? -scrambles to hide journal-
Hope you all liked the update, please review.
