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Author's note:

Sooooo hey guys, it's been like forever since my last update. I've been super busy with college classes, but I've gradually been coming back to this chapter and working on it. I don't know where this story is headed, I wish I had planned ahead and thought up more conflict before getting so into the story. I feel like most of this sorry right now is just fluff. I'm going to try to update more often than I have been. Ok, with that said: enjoy the new chapter. Please review.

(I'm reposting this chapter because before for someone reason all the text was bunched together, let me know if that's still the case and I'll try to fix it)

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Chapter 9:

So we're sitting here watching "Monty Python and the Holy Grail" in B's living room and I'm going insane. I'm trying to pay as much attention to the movie as I can but I've seen this so many times I know practically every line.

I train my eyes towards the TV and don't dare look towards B cause I'm terrified that she's gonna freak about what just happened before the Scoobs got here. I know the movie well enough that I can laugh at the right points but I'm not really as into it as I normally would be. B's sitting on the couch next to me and I can feel her there. She's a good foot and a half away but I can feel that warmth that I only feel when she's close.

Speaking of warmth, she looks cold right now. No, not in that way you pervs; I musta pulled that blanket we were gonna share off of her and into only my lap when I jumped away real quick when Red and Xander came in. She's got her feet up and her knees hugged to her chest. All curled up like that I can't help thinking how tiny she looks.

"Hey uh, B, you cold? I don't really need this blanket, you can have it if ya want."

"No, I'm ok Faith, keep it," she tells me but I can see her shiver a little bit.

I pull the blanket off my lap and hand it to her, "Take it, I gotta go pee anyways."

"Classy Faith," Willow speaks up.

I shrug, "Well I coulda said 'I gotta piss', that any better?" Red and B roll their eyes at that and Xander laughs. I turn my back and head toward the stairs, "Yo as much as I'm lovin' this little chat nature calls."

"Don't fall in!" I hear him chuckle behind me.

...

I reach the top of the stairs and enter the bathroom. Honestly I really didn't needa pee but I had to get outta there for a few minutes. I close the toilet lid and sit down. Closing my eyes I take a few deep breaths and try the meditation exercise my old watcher used to have me do before training.

Once I've calmed down a bit I figure I should probably pretend like I'm actually up here to pee since B's slayer hearing can probably hear me moving around. I flush the toilet then run the water on the sink for a few seconds before leaving the bathroom.

When I've come to the bottom of the stairs I hear the trio in the living room let out a laugh in unison, meaning they probably just reached a really funny line in the movie.

When I walk into the living room the gang is engrossed in watching King Arthur and his Knights of the round table get pelted with farm animals (Yeah I know that sounds weird as hell but it makes sense if you're familiar with the movie ok?).

Xander looks up, "Ah! I see you survived your battle with the porcelain plumbing demon?"

Willow rolls her eyes, "You know Xander, most people just say toilet, it's fewer words you know. Also less confusing."

"Yeah Xand, somehow the idea of me takin' a leak in a demon's mouth is giving me a wicked gross and kinky visual," I laugh. B laughs at that. Good, I can make her laugh, that's a good sign right?

Shit, I'm not good with all this. I've never done the dating thing you know? Never done much of anything in the romance department outside of fuck and run. Fucking some random Joe or Jane didn't prepare me to tell whether B is freaking out about our kiss earlier.

With all the others I didn't even have to look them in the eye, it was all just physical, just scratchin an itch. But see, lately I can't scratch it. Nobody can. A while back I just gave up trying to let someone else do it and just tried taking care of that myself. Well, obviously that's not doing any good, with my little shower session this morning serving as an example. I don't wanna just fucking get off anymore. I want B.

Anyways, sorry I went a little off topic right there, I sorta zoned out actually. Now that I'm coming out of my daze I glance over and see that B is looking at me. She's doesn't really look upset, but well, she looks kinda like she's got a lot on her mind. See, when B is thinking a lot she makes this cute little half frown-pouty face that kinda makes my chest feel like it's gonna explode, but like, in a good way, if ending up with your insides plastered all over the walls can ever be good.

"Ya ok B?"

She frowns, "Yeah, I guess I'm just still really tired. I may not be nauseous anymore but I still feel kinda off. I think I'm gonna go to bed, you guys feel free to finish the movie then head home when it's over."

"Nah, me and Willow have seen this thing like a hundred times, right Will?" Xander throws in.

"Yeah Buff, you sleep, finish fighting off the last of that nasty Morbus demon sickness. We'll just go and let you sleep. Hope you feel better soon." She and Xander stop the movie and start folding up the blankets and cleaning up the snacks.

I turn to Buffy, "Hey B, sorry you're still feeling under the weather, can I do anything to help ya?"

She perks up a little bit, "Stay until Xander and Willow leave, I want to talk to you."

Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit. She's gonna tell me how she loves being my friend but she doesn't feel that way for me. Sure she's probably gonna do this nicely but she's still gonna do it. Shit oh shit oh shit. Why'd you have to go and fall for someone you can't have? Someone ya don't fucking deserve? I'm an idiot, just living up to everyone's expectations.

But I've gotta stay, gotta let her say whatever she's gonna say, "Yeah, sure B."

...

Once we all finish cleaning up the snacks and stuff the Scoobs say their goodbyes and leave. Buffy closes the door behind them then turns to me, "Faith, we've got things to talk about..." Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit, "...but tonight's not the night to do it. I'm just too tired. But, uh, would you sleep over?"

She sees my confused expression, "No! I mean, not like that, wow this is awkward, ok now I sound like Willow so I'm just gonna spit it out: I don't want to be away from you right now. Would you stay tonight? Please don't make me explain it further right now. I just don't want to feel so alone right now." I know how she feels.

My heart is nearly beating out of my chest and my throat is dry but I've gotta respond, "Uh, yeah B, for you, anything." And I mean it.

Without a word she walks upstairs and I follow behind her. We get to her room and she rummages through her drawers and then hands me an oversized tshirt and a pair of sweats.

"Here, I figure you don't wanna sleep in those leather pants. You can change in the bathroom. The left drawer by the sink has spare toothbrushes, you can open one of those."

I nod and wordlessly shuffle to the bathroom, change, and brush my teeth. When I return to her room Buffy has changed too.

She looks up from where she's sitting on her bed, "Hey, cool I just need to do a few things in the bathroom and I'll be ready for bed too." She walks past me and out the door.

I'm left alone in her room and I have no clue what I'm doing here. Is she gonna want me to sleep in her bed like I did earlier when she woke up and asked me to stay? Should I make a place to sleep on the floor? If she wants me to sleep in her bed, can I, can I hold her? Or is that gonna freak her out now?

I'm awkwardly standing in her room kinda just starring at the bed when I hear her footsteps behind me. Without saying anything she walks past me and climbs into her bed. She looks to me and holds up a corner of the sheet, a silent invitation I am more than happy to accept.

I climb into bed next to her, being careful to still give her some room, but as soon as I'm settled she moves over and snuggles into me. I wrap my arms around her as a reflex and she sighs contentedly.

This feels so fucking awkward, I still don't know what's going on in her head. And yet, it also feels so right.

Soon B has drifted off to sleep, and I follow her short after. Here I am, once again falling asleep in the arms of the woman I love.