I'm shivering but happily shivering. Just happily shivering my ass off on top of a boulder overlooking Mermaid Lagoon. You know, the usual. I wrap my arms around myself as the sun rises. The first sunrise I saw was with Jack. Jack. A pang of sadness sweeps through me quickly.I'm seeing a sun that is huge and brightly gold take up the entire ocean bleeding colors into the water, alone. Picturesque. Usually I would find this quaint and charming but the look really does take anyone's breath away. I'll make this a tradition, something for me, here in Neverland.
That's just what I did, for the next week I woke up early to see the sunrise, I secretly called the sun mine but it didn't matter. Every morning I got better at sneaking out and sneaking in. But one morning, a visitor sat next to me. "Rufio." I sigh. He grins and wraps this large blanket over…us. I blush but instead of scooting a good distance away but scoot closer.
Rufio tenses up then relaxes when my head is close enough to rest on his shoulder. I don't. Self-control is a total bitch. "How'd you know where to find me?" He replies quietly, "I just had a feeling." We talked about what London was like, Rufio mostly intrigued by how the world had changed since he almost remembered. I shushed when the first crack of light broke the skies, as it rose, quicker than the mainland's, I quietly said, "I would have thought the sunrise would get older every time I'd see it, but…"
"Has it?" Rufio stated but it sounded like a heavy ended question, like there was more to it. I glance at Rufio but end up looking since he was looking back as well. I look away first, "No. It hasn't."
We sit in silence, huddled together under the blanket when I finally rested my head against his shoulder. He didn't tense but curled closer to me. And for that moment, everything was still. My age, his age, the sun and Neverland. Nothing less and nothing more could change how I felt that moment. This indescribable moment of bliss…
My part of Neverland, which I had for a brief moment drastically became shared. I guess if this was in a movie, this would be the montage part. I would wake up then wake up Rufio or Rufio would wake up and wake me but mostly he did. We talk and laugh over things we wonder and believe. I believe Peter doesn't know about these meetings.
One morning as Rufio and I huddled close, he whispered, "I would apologize for ruining your time, but I'm not." I rub my head against his shoulder, "That sounds sincere." He laughs lightly, "Ruthie, I don't know how to say things to you, I feel like I should be saying something but something holds me back." He struggles with words. "I don't understand." I reply, but I do. "Ruthie, when I'm with you, I don't feel like a child anymore, and that scares me." 'All Lost Boys never want to grow up, Ruthie; I'm not the only one.' I remember Peter telling me one night back at…at… London. I forgot for a moment. "Rufio, you won't grow up. I'm positive."
Our mornings began to extend to sunsets. A silent meeting, without exchange of words, all we had to do was connect eye contact and ever so discreetly dismiss ourselves. We would go our separate ways but meet up at the rock. "Sunrises are much faster than sunsets." I say dreamily. Rufio wraps closer around me and quietly answers my statement, "A new day is always welcomed in Neverland, but the days end is not." The sunsets, unlike sunrises that are real and picturesque, are surreal like entering a dream state. My lids are heavier, always happening now, but suddenly Rufio shakes me, "Ruthie, you must not sleep." I turn and squint at him, "Why not? I'm comfortable here." I rub my cheek against his chest looking up at his chin. He smiles, "So am I, but you haven't seen the end of the sunset."
"The end?" I say, sitting up, both my and his dismay.
He nods, "Wait."
Unlike Sunrises that crack loudly to announce its arrival, sunsets sizzle like someone splashed water on a fire. The sky was as if a painter swiped the canvas with violet and dark blue. After all the days I have been out I haven't seen that. I sigh in wonder, "Wow." I lean back into Rufio, catching his smug grin. I look up at Rufio, hopefully his chin but find him staring right back at me.
"Ruthie…" He tilted my chin slightly higher. I look down, my face hot. "Isn't it funny that, your name is Rufio?" He nods not really listening but tries to tilt my face to his again; again I tilt it down, OH. HELL. "And, my name is Ruthie, it's like, it's almost the same!" Great, I'm rambling. Why am I so nervous? I mean it's not like it's my first kiss- Rufio tilt my heads but I lean out and yell, "OH LOOK! PETER!" Thank heavens. Trust me Rufio I want to kiss you, but something is telling me not to.
Peter flies down; his eyes squinting at us break apart. "Ruthie, c'mon I want to show you something." Before replying Peter grabs my hand and pulls me into the sky, Rufio's exclamation of surprise follows us. Tink the glow of wonder flies around me throwing fairy dust before zooming off, "Terrance?" Peter nods, not looking at me but smiling.
"Peter, where are we going?" I feel exhilarated and awake.
"Cloud bouncing."
