Title: Angelus Erroneous
Author: Spike
Chapter: Nine
The Ork peered at me, before throwing his boltgun away.
I grinned sheepishly at the Ork.
"What a surprise seeing you here eh?"
I don't know whether to not he understood human tongue but if his expression was anything to go by, it seemed he picked up quite easily on my mockery.
He then discarded his bolt-gun. Why he did such a thing has since bothered me: Why didn't he just use it to blow my head off there and then? Being at such a close range it would have been impossible for him to miss, even for an ork, and he had all the opportunity in the world. And using such a powerful weapon at that distance, there would be no chance in hell of him not killing me.
But no, he didn't see such an opportunity, favouring instead, to grip his crude axe and wave it above his head.
However, such a choice would prove to be his undoing: For on this planet, survival is everything – you must stay alive by doing whatever necessary. And by waving his weapon in readiness of the kill, gave me the perfect opportunity. I then pulled out my single loaded bolt pistol from underneath me and opened fire. At such a close range I couldn't miss (hey, if that green-skin can't see a good opportunity when its right in front of him, then the least I could do was show him).
The bullet struck the Ork straight in the middle of his forehead and buried its way deep into his cranium. The Ork thus was sent off his feet and tumbling backwards. The weight was slowly lifted from my back and the green-skin's body collapsed in a heap.
I breathed a sigh of relief. Yep, that's how things work around here – You have to do whatever necessary in the name of survival. If an opportunity rears its head then you take it!
I pushed the corpse aside, and got up onto my feet. I leaned forward and reached for my other bolt pistol and it's still unloaded cartridge – It was still there lying there.
In a crouching position, I then reached forward and picked up the cartridge and the pistol.
It was then and there that I realised I had forgotten something.
Something that came in the shape of a huge green jaw, a mass of stinking green flesh and pair of hate-filled red yes.
It was the other Ork. He had finally got caught up to me and, seeing me like this, he decided to find it necessary to ram his face as close as possible to my own.
I blinked as his nostrils flared – taking in and out the air in short hard bursts, betraying the typical Orkish hatred for all humans.
(Isn't it wonderful to be appreciated?)
And for a several moments, total silence descended between us. Both of us possessed a common hatred for the other but neither was willing to make the first move: He had his axe close at hand I still had my second gun in my hand. He could smash my head open if I raised my hand to fire. If he dared try to cut me down there and then, I could have an open window to slug a shell into his stomach.
Both of us had the means of killing the other but neither was willing to let the other gain an advantage in this stand-off.
But little did the Ork know but I already had the advantage: He didn't see to notice the second bolt pistol that currently resided in my other hand and out of his sight.
I smiled a sly smile.
"Did I kill your friend back there?" I sneered, my head jerking in the direction to the fresh corpse nearby.
The Ork roared back at me, clearly annoyed and certainly willing to express it.
But in doing so, he didn't see me slip my hand, with bolt pistol contained within, underneath his chin. Slowly, the bolt pistol barrel drifted up it's up against the Ork's chin.
I myself, was still being blasted by the ferocity of the Ork's roar – Being confronted with a hurricane of phlegm, bad breathe and animalistic battle lust certainly wasn't a comforting experience but I cared little – one click away and this bastard will be rid of my life forever.
Eventually the roar halted – I looked up to see the Ork's expression. Judging by it, the green-skin must've felt the cold steel of the bolt pistol that recently came underneath his chin.
I gave him a further second to consider the situation before pulling the trigger.
The Ork's head exploded in a mass of green blood and torn flesh. Pieces of bone can flying out from the where was once a cranium and a pair of reddened eyeballs came hurtling in my direction. An enormous jawbone sporting the most colossal of teeth came falling to the ground.
I saw the ghastly sight of the Ork's head exploding evolve before me but I didn't flinch. I had seen other life forms be torn apart in a similar fashion many times before – and they were fellow humans being cut down in the line of fire. And they didn't really deserve it as much as that damned greens-skin.
It gave me a sick sense of satisfaction to see the head got up like that – Hey they are all Orks. It's not like the rest of the universe is going to miss them anytime soon.
But anyway, back to this moron Xerxes……
I struggled to my feet and strode over the two freshly killed Orks. I then made my way out of the jungle and out across the clearing, towards the only other human on this planet.
Once arrived to the prostrate Rogue Trader I then studied him – he was still out cold form the punch I gave him but he didn't show any other obvious signs of damage. I guess I must have arrived at exactly the right time, before the Orks could do something to him.
But anyway, now was not the time to hang around. Considering the loud explosion from the grenade and sound of gunfire being exchanged, it seemed likely that another group of Orks would have heard them and would already be on their way to investigate.
Grinding my teeth, I knelt down and picked up the still out-cold Xerxes. I then hoisted him onto my back. He didn't seem that heavy which was just as well – I needed to get out of here and I needed to do so quickly.
Using all the strength I could muster I then headed off back into the jungle.
For the rest of the afternoon, I continued carrying around the useless sod of a Rogue Trader. In that time I had manage to cover a great deal of distance from the crash site. Miraculously neither of use had any encounters whatsoever with the Orks. This certainly was a surprise considering the massive population of Orks upon this rock and the knowledge of experience that it was nearly impossible to go more than an hour without running into a group of them. And I was currently running (blindly) towards a location of possible safety (even though such a prospect seemed highly unlikely on this miserable rock) with a huge weight resting upon my back!
I had lost track of the time I had spent carrying the Rogue Trader around – therefore I had no idea how long I had been going before I could feel my strength drift away from me – All of a sudden, Xerxes felt as heavy as a Space Marine Lascannon Power Pack (I've seen such things before and I swear that no ordinary human has a hope in hell of ever lifting one of those damn things).
And once again, I pondered on the ever persistent question on whether or not rescuing this damn Xerxes was worth the trouble…
But what I found bothersome about that previous encounter was that the Orks back there had grenades. This was the first time I had ever seen one of the green-skins use such a thing. Needless to say, it certainly was a surprise – I thought they just stormed around this planet with their axes and boltguns – it never struck me that they had access to explosives, let alone grenades.
The thought that they may have explosives was really unsettling. I thought it would be easy to wage a guerrilla war against an alien life-form whose only perception on combat is to charge towards the enemy and pulverise anything dumb enough to stand in its way. Being a human meant that I had access to a full range of tactics that stretched beyond that Orkish combat perception – This would've surely put me in a position of an intellectual advantage. After all, I wouldn't have survived this long if it didn't….
But the knowledge that the greenskins had access to grenades, made fighting this never-ending guerrilla war somewhat harder. My usual tactic was to take out the Orks from well-concealed positions, one at time, before they could come to the realisation of what was going on. However, with the Orks possessing grenades it now means that they have access to a weapon that can create massive explosion – consequently, should such an explosive be thrown, all the cover which I would hide behind could then be blown away in the blink of an eye.
The tables have turned – the Orks seem to be in possession of a weapon that could both ruin my guerrilla plans and kill me. They now have a potentially dangerous ploy where I once held the complete and entire advantage.
Oh well – It's not like I'm afraid of dying. Ya gotta go sometime and dying in combat sounds more appealing then dying at the hands of an Imperial firing squad.
Just then, I came across a small stream.
I then lowered Xerxes from off the top of my back and set him down beside the stream, onto a dry portion of the jungle floor. I then knelt down and tasted the water (I cared little whether or not it was drinkable or not – And considering that I've always been doing this I don't see now being a good time to start being concerned with such details). It seemed good enough for me so I cupped my hands to get a handful and splashed it on my face.
Refreshing indeed….
I then looked towards Xerxes – he was still out cold. My brow furrowed. I was through carrying him around – My muscles were already growing tired with hauling around such a weight, he was slowing me down in pace and being unconsciousness made him more of a labiality and me more open to an ambush.
Besides, he would be more use to me if he was awake and on his own feet.
I looked at the stream and then back at Xerxes. An evil grin formed across my face.
Getting to my feet, I then strode over to his prostrate form. This was soon followed by a punch across his face. I paused to allow a sense of the sweetest satisfaction to cruise into my well-being. This was then followed by another punch across the face. And another soon after.
Hey, if this doesn't wake him up, I don't know what will. Besides, I had to risk my arse to save him and I didn't really want to anyway. The least I could do was display my appreciation.
Eventually, the Rogue Trader's eyes groggily opened. He began mumbling something as the blows get coming – I guess that would be a good enough time to stop then….
"Hey, what's going on?" he mumbled, his speech slurred and his words hardly decipherable.
"Ah, you're awake" I said. I ceased the punching and walked away from him.
My ears detected the sounds of Xerxes getting up off the jungle floor.
"You again" he mumbled. "What had happened? Where are we?"
My eyes hardened. He seemed unaware of what had happened – or least he doesn't seem able to recall it.
Well in that case, I had better choose my words carefully.
"We were both ambushed by a group of Orks" I said. "You were struck down from behind and I had to kill them all myself"
"You did that?" the Rogue Trader inquired. He seemed impressed.
"You could say that" I shrugged. If that is what he wants to believe, than that's fine by me.
"I guess I owe you my life then" Xerxes grinned.
I sighed - well looks like I will never be able get rid of him. Now, I am well and truly stuck with him.
Oh well, at least some company is welcome after spending so long in the presence of an exclusively Orkish population.
"So tell me" he went on. "Can you tell me where the nearest Imperial settlement is?"
I sighed a second time. He was still unaware that there were only Orks on this miserable rock and he was still convinced that there was an Imperial settlement somewhere.
I didn't answer – I didn't even turn around to look at him. I just sat down beside the stream, my eyes focusing only one the running water.
After a pause, I head him speak again, this time, his voice possessing more emotion than I had ever heard him use before:
"We're the only humans on this planet aren't we?"
At the mention of this, I looked over my shoulder at Xerxes – I then noticed the expression on his face was one where it had been hit by the crushing hammer of realisation.
"'Fraid we are" I answered.
"There is no one on here except us and so many Orks, right?"
"Precisely"
"We stranded here?"
"That we are"
"And we have no ship?"
"Doesn't that suck?"
"And no one knows we're here?'
I clapped my hands in a mocking manner.
"Well done genius. Want an award?"
"Being an Imperial Guardsman you must have some sort of contact with the superiors?" Xerxes asked, his voiced now getting clogged with desperation.
"I would if I could"
"What's that supposed to mean?!"
"You see, my status in the Imperial Guard has been revoked" I said. "I'm criminal that was charged with the crime of desertion. I was on my way to the Penal Legion when the ship I was on was attacked by the Dark Eldar. I managed to escape in a pod and I landed here."
"But if you're a criminal, then it's likely that the forces of the Imperium will come looking for you" the Rogue Trader theorised.
At this suggestion I laughed a bitter laugh.
"Who the hell would miss a criminal like me?" I sneered. "I was heading for an execution! If they wanted to get rid of me they would've sent a rescue crew by now
"But no, the Imperium cares little for the criminals within their universe. If anything, they would've lifted a finger when they became aware of the raid."
I then turned away.
"Besides, I doubt they would've found me out here"
"What do you mean by that?" Xerxes inquired.
This made me look back over my shoulder at him. Seems he was not aware of where in the universe this planet was located.
I paused, wondering how I should tell him this. Being out beyond the fringes of the Imperium is certainly not an ideal position to be and it may be difficult for him to take.
But then again, he had to find this fact out for himself sooner or later.
"No doubt you're just become aware that we are both on an Ork World" I said. "But brace yourself because there's worse come: This planet is beyond the borderlines of the Imperium."
At the mention of this, Xerxes' face paled. Obviously, this wasn't the most ideal thing in the world to hear.
"Hate to tell you this" I went on "But we're both stuck on this miserable rock and no one knows we're here!"
"You're lying" he said softly.
"What's that?"
"You're a liar!" he went on, his tone of voice gradually evolving into a growl with each word stated. "What you're saying simply cannot be true at all!"
"You believe that?"
"Because it is the most plausible theory, correct?"
"Compared to what?"
"This is a planet occupied by Imperial forces that are situated in a small outpost that is currently under consistent attack from the green-skins who also occupy this planet!"
"You call that a more likely situation with this planet?!" I yelled. "I thought you had just become convinced that we were the only humans on this planet!"
"Well, I certainly don't find what you've told me convincing in the slightest!"
"Believe what you like" I snapped back. "But you can't hide from the reality of the situation"
"I refuse to believe it!" the Rogue Trader yelled, getting to his feet.
"Keep it down will you?" I retorted, unfazed by the growing tensions. "You'll bring every Ork for miles down upon us both!"
Xerxes glared at me.
"We can't be out of range from the Imperial space" he said firmly. "That doesn't explain how we are the only humans on this planet"
I open my mouth to speak but before I could, the Rogue Trader reached for his belt and pulled out something that looked like a device of some kind.
I could feel myself growing curious about this new entity. I had never seen anything like before. Judging from it's manufacture, it didn't seem to be of Imperial origin. It made me wonder where Xerxes had gotten it from – He must've stolen it from somewhere because I still don't find this substantial evidence to support his claim of being a Rogue Trader.
He began fiddling around with this device, his facial expression one of complete and utter exasperation.
"What the hell are you doing?" I inquired.
"What does it looking like I'm doing?!' he retorted.
"Messing around with some weird contraption" I said, my voice dripping with the lack of conviction to his words.
Xerxes sighed in exasperation and held up his device.
"You see this?" he snapped. "This is a communication device that I had acquired on my many travels across the galaxy! I originally acquired through dealings with the Tau!"
My brow furrowed – but then again, I should know by now that whatever emerges from out of Xerxes' mouth are the words of a professional liar.
Hey, this guy could make a superb Rogue Trader. He certainly had the mouth for one.
Xerxes continued fiddling around with this device. After pressing a few buttons, he then lifted it above his head and tried waving it around.
"What are you doing?" I replied in exasperation.
"I'm trying to get this damn thing to work!" the Rogue Trader replied. "I had it specifically rigged to detect any other signal in range!"
"Really…." I replied, with sarcasm large enough to drive a Space Marine Land Raider through.
"Exactly!" Xerxes declared proudly. If he seemed aware of my lack of conviction, he certainly didn't show it. "By selecting a certain location within the universe, of any size and diameter, I shall send a sign of transmission to any Imperial transceiver so they can come by and pick us up!""Yeah, whatever you reckon pal" I sneered.
Paying no attention whatsoever to my snide comments, Xerxes continued waving around his strange little device.
I sighed. This was going to take a while…..
At that point, my stomach growled – telling me that I was better off finding some food rather than listening to this moron. Of course with such a prospect I needed little convincing: I then headed into the jungle, looking for some kind of food.
Don't why I should bother myself with the well-being of this annoyance of a companion but he's a human and human company is better than none.
And as long as he's not trying to blow my head off, then I may as well do the same for him.
As much as it pains me to do so.
About half an hour later, I returned to where I had left Xerxes. I carried some fruit which I had managed to find. This was a bizarre fruit to look at: It was yellow and dotted with giant brown chunks that stuck out like craters. I had been living on these since my arrival to this rock and whilst they looked strange, they were surprisingly edible and quite tasty at that.
The prospect that the fruit may be poisonous didn't bother me much – after all, I had been living on them for a while now and if they were poisonous I surely would've dropped dead by now.
Xerxes was in a seated position with his head buried in his hands. In front of him, was the receiver that he had been obsessing over.
It didn't take the powers of an Eldar Farseer to sense that his plan of trying to contact an Imperial ship had failed. Furthermore, the realisation of failure brought with it the crushing thought that the planet was situate exactly as I said.
It certainly was an interesting sight to see the Rogue Trader defeated like this. Already he had presented me with an image of complete and utter confidence that walked hand in hand with unbridled cheerfulness. Therefore, seeing him like this was certainly disarming – a man hit with the brutal sense of complete and utter defeat.
Breaking the tension, I coughed – this was enough to make Xerxes raise his head.
I blinked – the despair and hopelessness of the situation was written all over his face.
I could try and break him out of such a wretched mood…
But that wouldn't be me at all.
"I tried to tell you" I said.
"How can you say that?!" he yelled "How can you remain so cool-headed when you are trapped on a planet of hostile Orks with no hope of escape or survival?!"
"I told you" I said, not flinching in anyway whatsoever – even confronted with such exasperation "I am a convicted criminal. I only arrived here by accident. Being on this planet, no one knows that I'm here nor would they even care. I am only here because staying alive and fighting sounds more appealing than the executioner's block"
Xerxes blinked before his eyes grew angry once again.
"That's a twisted philosophy" he snapped. "Life is worth living! I wouldn't dare throw my life away in such a pointless pursuit! If I were you I would be finding any way possible to leave this miserable planet!"
"Why would I do that?!" I retorted. "I am dead if I stay here and I'm dead if I leave. That doesn't leave me with a lot of options.
"Do you honestly think the Imperium will welcome me back with open arms?! Of course not! At least by staying here, I can survive a little longer and delay my own death!"
"What if you escape….."
"I keep tryna tell you – Its not going to happen"
"Hear me out" Xerxes growled. "Hypothetically, what if you escape and live the life of an outlaw? You could see the galaxy beyond the reach of the Imperium; you could see so many worlds without any rules to follow whatsoever; you could…."
"Live the life like that of a Rogue Trader?" I interjected.
Xerxes immediately fell silent.
"Forget it" I sneered. "I may be a convicted criminal but I'm still an Imperial Guardsman. And I have no intention of running away. Not when there's a battle to be fought."
Xerxes opened his mouth again - No doubt to deliver another diatribe of protests in the flaws of my philosophy. But I was anticipating such a move: I immediately tossed one of the fruit to him, which he caught in both hands.
"Hungry?" I asked.
He blinked before examining the fruit with a baffled expression.
"This is edible, right?"
I didn't answer straight away. Instead I took a bite out of my own piece of fruit.
"Sure seems edible to me" I answered, my mouth full.
Xerxes stared at me long and hard before giving it – he took a bite and screwed his face up in disgust.
I chuckled.
"You'll get used it" I grinned "After all, you now have all the time in the world to do so."
And with that I turned and headed off into the jungle.
"Hey!" Xerxes called. "Where're you going?"
I shrugged.
"To find my destiny I guess"
"What the hell are you talking about?!"
"Who cares?" I called back "It's not like I have anywhere else to go"
"So you would gladly through away your life like that?"
"Why do you care?" I shot back, my feet still moving.
"Because I refuse to abide to the idea of giving up!" he shouted.
This made me stop, my ears sensing the passion that had just ignited within his voice.
"In my whole entire life, I have never once admitted to defeat!" he went on "And I refuse to start now! As such, I am disgusted by the fact that you want to throw away your life in such a needless manner! I would rather live with this hand that fate has granted me! If I'm going to be standard on this planet, then I would rather live the constant undying help that someone would want to rescue me!"
I turned around to face him, my eyes suspicious.
"You're not really a Rogue Trader are you?" I inquired.
"What?"
"What type of Rogue Trader would place his life over his own cargo?"
He sighed – one that could only be equated with defeat.
"You are certainly the perceptive one" he said.
Perceptive? I thought I only noticed the blindingly obvious
"Yes, I was on a Rogue Trader ship but I wasn't the captain – I was only one of the crew"
"Let me guess – you were the cleaner of the latrines?" I said, jokingly
Xerxes didn't reply – instead he merely turned his back to me and bowed his head.
"So - that story of you being overthrown by a mutinous crew was just a lie, wasn't it?"
"It was" he murmured – softly but loud enough for me to hear "My ship was being attacked by a ship from the Imperial Navy. So, whilst my ship was being boarded and my crewmates were being executed, I fled into the depths of the ship. I broke into the captain's quarters and stole this uniform. Then I ran to the ship's escape pods looking for one to escape in and…. The next thing I knew I had somehow wound up here"
"Hold on" I said "If the Imperial navy was attacking your ship…"
"…Then I was on the run"
"Meaning, you're not from the ship of a Rogue Trader"
"But from a ship of a pirate" Xerxes finished
"So, it would seem that you're no more a fugitive than I am" I said.
Marvellous – it seems the more the more I hang around this bozo, the more I am going to discover that we both have interest in common.
Just what I didn't want to hear.……
"I just wanted to find something more" he said. "I wanted to find something more than being a lowly latrine cleaner on a pirate ship. I wanted to see the universe and have many adventures. I wanted to have something more than being a mere latrine cleaner.
"And as far as I'm concerned, being standard on this planet full of Orks seem far more interesting than being on a rusty spaceship"
"So, all that talk about being a Rogue Trader was just an act" I said. "You were just hoping to act like one when you arrived here because you thought you could convince anyone that you were somebody.
"What a shame you are stuck on this planet then! Nowhere near the Imperium and being one of a human population made of two!"
"At least it's a second chance!" he shot back, casting a wrathful gaze back over his shoulder. "It may not be the best of second chances but at least it's better than nothing!"
"And let me guess, you're going to make the best of this second chance?" I sneered.
"Such as it is, yes" Xerxes said. "As such I would rather live in optimism than give up and welcome death"
I sighed. He certainly had a point there…..
"Do what you like" I muttered.
And with that I turned around and walked off.
But I hadn't gone far before I heard running footsteps from behind me. This was soon followed by a certain voice.
"Well, seeing as we're both stuck on this planet, we should stick together! After all, being the only humans here we share a common interest – and together, we should stand a greater chance of survival. After all, safety is better than numbers as they always say!"
I continued on my way into the jungle – but from behind me, the consistent ramblings from the idiot continued:
"But even though I may have come from such humble beginning, I have a thirst for adventure! I hope to go across the galaxy and see all many wonderful before me!"
"Yeah, yeah" I muttered.
