A/N: Thanks soo much for reading! This chapter will occur when Castiel, our favorite angel, takes our boys to Sunday church. However, something unholy might go down…
"Cas, this is a black church! It's scary! I don't want to hug the pastor!" Dean was complaining. Again. Cas had dragged them to the nearest church, which happened to be a black one. Two whole hours of God, and Cas and Sam, all stuck in a small pew. Wonderful.
"Shhsh, Dean! We must hug the pastor, or we won't be allowed access to this place's knowledge! " Sam smiled. "Cas, it's two hours. With no breaks. Can we leave after they say a homily? Please?" Cas refused. "If you want to go to hell, without Lucifer, then I suggest you start praying."
…
"Amen! You tell it, preacha!" Sam was participating wholeheartedly. Wow, thought Dean, Sam likes it here. The parishioners were crying, interrupting the pastor, and throwing themselves to his feet. They were collapsing on the ground, and Sam couldn't do anything to help. It was time for the Homily, and today's topic was…angels.
"Y'all hear me when I say this, but angels are God's gift to us. He gave us them to protect us. Like when we need help with a math test, or going to the bathroom. They are there for us in times of need." Cas started to get up, his face red with anger. Sam tried to hold him down, but he couldn't. "You know, pastor, when angels get angry they can smite people, too. Take fallen angels for instance. They're evil."
The pastor was taken aback by the brash young man. "You dare talk back to me? ME? Why, son, I think you need to get out of here." Cas was on a roll. There was no stopping him, now. "You're a fool. You think angels have it easy? Try taking orders from pompous dicks like Raphael!" Cas slammed his hand on the altar. Now he drew his sword. The preacher started to scream. "You're a devil! I say! You're a devil!"
In a flash of red flame and of smoke, Lucifer appeared, dressed in a black leather jacket, a black t-shirt, ripped jeans, and black shoes. "Hello, Castiel. Let me have my way with this dick." He turned to the pastor and said, "You think he's a devil? You moron! There is only one true devil. Me." He grinned evilly. He took the pastor by the throat, and lifted him into the air. He threw him into the altar, pulled out his sword, and impaled his heart. Cas set holy fire to his body.
Now, everyone in the church was screaming. They were running out of every exit imaginable, and they were scared. They even jumped out of the stain glass windows, just to get away from Lucifer. Dean got caught up in the panic. He was practically crowd-surfing! Sam wasn't very fortunate, though. Lucifer dusted himself off, and started walking toward Sam. Sam backed up against the wall. Lucifer was taking his time, just taking small, slow paces. Cas was being trampled. Dean was nowhere to be seen. It was just him and Lucifer, all the way. It was kind of hot.
Lucifer finally caught up to Sam, who was pinned against the wall. "Hey, love, I was meaning to talk to you," Lucifer began. "We never really got a chance to go out together because of Gabriel. But now we're alone. You want to go and get something to eat? I'll buy." He was being so courteous. Sam was taken aback.
"No thanks, I don't date my enemies." Sam tried to punch his face, but he caught Sam's fist and held it against the wall. "Hmm, feisty. Now I know why Gabriel was attracted to you in the first place." He lowered his head, so it was closer to Sam's and he put his knee in between Sam's legs. Sam started to blush. "Now, I asked once. Don't make me repeat myself, love. You will regret it. I promise you that." Sam 's head moved in closer to Lucifer's. Their lips were inches apart; Sam could feel his hot breath on his face. Lucifer smiled. "That's a good bitch. Give your master a kiss."
A bolt of lighting ran through Sam's head. Bitch, he thought. I'll show him a bitch! Just then, Sam's knee came right up, nailing Lucifer in the balls. He doubled over, shouting profanities. Sam took off.
Dean and Cas were waiting in the car. Sam jumped in, and Dean drove off. "Well, I learned one thing," Dean started. "If you go to church, you get attacked by the devil." He smiled. His foot on the gas pedal pressed down. It was back to the hotel room.
A/N: This is my favorite chapter ever! This was sooo fun to write. I really hope you liked it. Well, in the next chapter, Sam, Dean, and Cas get caught up in sibiling rivalry. Between Gabriel and Lucifer. Again. Also, I think Meg will make an appearance. If any of you have seen Caged Heat, then you know where this is going. :D
