"Did you have Grace christened?"
Mild panic seared itself onto her expression, momentarily until her outer layer cooled itself and the iciness stiffened back into place. In the briefest of brief seconds, Connie was convinced Robyn had rumbled her ruse. Why else would she have asked that?
Robyn retained her naturally-chirpy personality and let the poor reaction roll off her shoulders. "Story for another time."
It was just one of the habitual occurrences that rendered Connie impotent. There had been life inside of her for approximately four months and every day Connie was one step closer to the truth being revealed. Whether it be Noel and his humoured remark as to how often she snacked, or Alicia who complimented how radiant her skin looked and wanted to know her which skin cream she used, right down to the way Duffy curiously watched her from a distance during shift. Worst of all was Charlie with his unsolicited reassurance that she was a wonderful parent. She was unsure as to whether he meant to Grace, or the team; she certainly felt she had inadvertently assumed the role of mother to all of them.
The infant of the team, Rash, barrelled around the corner and slammed her into the nearest wall. "Mrs. Beauchamp, I am so sorry!"
A pain ascended her spine as Connie rebalanced herself and controlled her heated ire. His mortification at yet another blunder on his part sent Rash sprinting to the nearest toilet before he could explain his hurriedness from his patient in cubicles. It hadn't escaped her notice that the very notion of failure induced nausea for the newbie. Just as Lily said, he was excitable and nervous; in fact, it was her protégés words that floated around her head as Connie maintained her composure and let another faux-pas slide. At this rate, she had little confidence the new F1 would ever surprise her the way Lily had predicted.
Connie wouldn't dare admit it, but she had missed Dr. Chao dearly in her absence. She was probably the most independent of the team, definitely the most reliable, and a reminder of easier times; she was Connie back in the days before Grace.
"No, no, no, you can't just leave her here."
Robyn's panicked voice alerted Connie to the latest catastrophe and she strode to the nurse. "Robyn, what's the matter?"
That was all Robyn needed. She shielded her face in her hands, her stress evident when she snapped at the Clinical Lead, "It's fine." Staff who witnessed the moment fell fatally silent, before they continued on with duties and even Connie was dismayed. Instantly full of remorse, Robyn swallowed the knot in her throat. "Sorry, Mrs. Beauchamp. Just some issues with childcare but I can sort it." She scowled at the babysitter that had failed her many times before.
By this time, Connie had detected that the infant in the baby carrier the other woman held was Charlotte. "Is Charlotte okay?"
"Yeah, she'll be fine." Robyn recaptured her cheery disposition, and shepherded the helpless babysitter into the staff room to deliberate what would become of Charlotte until the end of shift. Raised voices informed Connie that this was not the first time the babysitter had let Robyn down and Max soon arrived to defend his female friend. Located at the nurses station, Connie watched the blonde dart out the exit, which left Max and Robyn to contemplate the next sensible course of action. "I can't just leave like that, Max. We're already two nurses down and it's not fair to call Charlie and Duffy to come in." The elder couple of the department were entitled to annual leave and it was the rarest of occurrences that they both had the same day off. "Plus, I already owe them last months rent." Further debate followed as to whether Robyn should ask Charlie and Duffy to look after Charlotte but Robyn was reluctant to burden her friends with yet another problem. All the while, Connie mentally pondered a possible solution of her own, from a safe distance. When Alicia finally beckoned for Robyn, Connie kicked into action and entered the staff room with her proposition.
"Robyn, you're needed in resus." Connie softly administered instruction, "You can leave Charlotte with me."
"Mrs. Beauchamp -"
Robyn chewed hard on her bottom lip, conflicted by the same hardship Connie was all-too-familiar with in her experience of motherhood. It was the life of a patient, or her child, and Robyn naturally required a firmer approach to reach her decision. "Go, Nurse Miller." A blur of blue scrubs scrambled away from the staff room and Max speechlessly observed as Connie hibernated in her office with the infant.
Facilitated by Henrik Hanssen, to ease the strain of her workload, Connie had placed herself primarily on admin three days a week. With the exception of the ever-inquisitive and and socially-defective Dylan, no one within the team had questioned the move. Potentially because they were far too involved with their own lives to even have noticed, but more likely because the NHS were infamous for the paperwork they overwhelmed the senior members of every department with. As such, the afternoon passed by uneventfully; Robyn dipped in and out of her office every now and then but Charlotte remained curiously content to be left alone with Connie. In fact, Connie almost wished Charlotte would cry of fuss, if only to provide excuse for her to hold the nine month old.
Eventually, her prayers were answered, as Charlotte started to blubber in complaint at what little attention she received. "It's okay," Connie apprehensively lifted the baby from her carrier and cradled her into arms that were tensely curled. The warmth of the tiny body curled into her chest and Connie was left intoxicated by the baby powder smell. It felt like yesterday that Grace had been just as small. In her line of work, she had held multiple babies but almost always with concern for their health, rather than the pure enchantment of a child's cuddle.
"Ga-da." Charlotte spouted uninterpretable syllables as she reached for Connie and patted her cheek with a little hand.
Her heart all but melted, and Connie smiled with a yearn for the moment she would hold her own child for the very first time. The prospect enthralled and terrified her but it bode well that Charlotte settled with such ease. It offered hope that she wasn't the failure in the maternal role she believed herself to be, after all. "Mummy will be here very soon." She soothed, her nose buried in the few strands of blonde Charlotte had.
Within a few hours, Robyn returned for Charlotte. "Thank you so much, Mrs. Beauchamp." Once more, the Clinical Lead had been a real-life wonder woman and Robyn would always be thankful. Just like Charlie, Robyn had a vision that stretched beyond the frosty exterior to witness the compassionate Connie Beauchamp she preferred to pretend didn't exist. There was so much in her make-up that she would never dare reveal for public consumption. "She must really like you. Probably more than Max," Robyn quipped, and her half-brother rolled his eyes at the comment, before the dark-haired beauty from another department distracted him away from the conversation.
Connie smiled, semi-amused but sad to have her time with Charlotte reach its end. "Hmm, oh, it was my pleasure."
"I hope she wasn't too much of a distraction," Robyn tenderly zipped Charlotte into her outdoor suit. She half-expected Connie to deliver a lecture on her unprofessionalism but Connie simply shook her head, apparently mesmerised by Charlotte. The mother in Connie had surfaced for all to see and it was wonderful to behold, the perfect end to her shift. "Have a good evening, Mrs. Beauchamp."
"Robyn," Connie's voice halted her departure. "If you need to work out a new shift pattern, or if I can help in any way, whatever I can do to accommodate you, please remember my door will always be open for you."
With that, Robyn fell a little more in love with her Clinical Lead. Her very own heroine.
