"A List of 'Show and Tell' Options"

By Mr. Gold.

Choice the first: Golden speedo.

Reasoning: It is a "treasured" gift from the lovely Mayor Mills, gods bedamn her.

Argument, as Archie will surely want to argue: "The night my son was made, this golden speedo …"


Choice the second: Antique cello

Reasoning: It holds sentiment to no one else, so why not me?

Argument, as Archie is a prat: "While everyone else saw this cello as just transportation for packets of cocaine – which, granted, is how it was originally used – I saw past its varnished façade and into the heart and soul …"


Choice the third: Black arm band from when that dwarf slipped on some ice and everyone thought he was dead because Dr. Whale was asleep and no one checked his pulse.

Reasoning: It was a time of great trouble for me, as I buy my ice cream from that dwarf's general store.

Argument, as Archie makes me want to punch something: "This arm band saw me through several midnight vigils with Sneezy …"


Choice the fourth: Smith and Wesson pistol

Reasoning: A man's weapon is his closest friend.

Argument, as it's the easiest way to make Archie never want to see me again: "I think my bond with Smith and Wesson began shortly after my first kill …"