Welcome to Chapter 9 of number 9! It's good to see you again. Thanks for the wonderful reviews for the last chapter (wasn't sure of it – I'll call it another filler) and I promise you that this one will be interesting. (This kiss scene was terrible, but it was better than nothing right? It has a key part anyway I suppose).
For this chapter (the beginning) italics Bra, normal is Goten (I'll put in an A/N when there's no more switching.)
Here we go:
9, Baby Blues
She could hear something beeping faintly, somewhere far away. She couldn't understand why everything was black. She couldn't even remember who or what she was. She kept trying to follow the noise but she couldn't tell what direction it was coming from. She kept getting lost in the endless dark. Every now and again she could feel something on her left. She wanted to say it hurt, but she couldn't form any words. She didn't want to be alone in this alien place, held captive by the blackness.
- - - - -
Goten watched Bra, lying listless on her hospital bed. She had collapsed three days ago, shuddering and twitching and in obvious pain. Since then her condition had stabilised and all he could do was wait for her to regain consciousness. The doctor had explained to him that it would take a while longer because of her pregnancy. He let out a long, slow breath and rubbed his eyes tiredly. His parents had visited earlier and he had allowed himself to sleep for a few hours but it did next to nothing after the three sleepless nights he had spent watching Bra, praying for her to open her eyes.
She didn't look much like Bra at the moment, with her hair lank and dull, her face pale and drawn and with a drip attached to her hand. She looked a lot older than him now – age wouldn't be a problem now, he thought bitterly. She looked around forty now. It was her turn to be 8 years older than him.
He reached out and grabbed her hand squeezing it tightly. She seemed to feel it, because every time he squeezed her hand she would give a little twitch. It proved to him that she was just waiting for the best time to wake up.
- - - - -
She felt the squeezing feeling again and tried to turn towards it. Something was holding her still though, and even when she fought hard against it she couldn't move. The steady beeps carried on going, getting louder and closer to her. Maybe she had managed to move without realising? Could it be that she was going in the right direction? With new determination she fought against her restraints.
- - - - - (A/N: END OF SWITCHES)
Without realising it, Goten had fallen asleep. The last thing he remembered was his head lolling back and forth, and his brain reminding him frequently to keep his eyes open. Once he had woken up again, it was nearing three in the morning. Automatically he squeezed Bra's hand and watched her intently. Her breathing had changed and he noted with relief that she was no longer unconscious but asleep. He pressed the button by her bed and waited for the doctor or a nurse to come by. As he waited he began to wish that she wouldn't have to wake up so soon. After such a freak collapse, he wondered how well she would be able to look after herself.
The doctor arrived and nodded in greeting at Goten, mumbling a quiet good night, and then started checking Bra's pulse and consulting the beeping machine at her side. He peered into her eyes and finally stepped away from her.
"She's sleeping, but I don't think it would be a good time to wake her. You should let her come around in her own time." Nodding gravely at Goten once more, he bade him good night and returned to another patient, or his office, or wherever night doctors go at night.
Goten sighed. He was relieved that Bra was ok, but he wasn't looking at all forward to telling her about her condition. Bra had always been temperamental, and known to take things to the extremes, and Goten was sure that her reaction would not be a good one. He continued to watch her closely, praying both for her to sleep and to wake.
He wished that her parents could break the news to her. Vegeta had been willing to tell her but Bulma had stated firmly that Goten should be the one to do it.
Settling into a more comfortable position in his plastic chair, Goten began the last of the waiting.
- - - - -
Bra's eyes fluttered open two hours later, and thankfully she seemed to know what had happened.
"How long have I been out?" She asked hoarsely, her voice small. Despite how ill she had been she looked quite happy, and a small smile graced her lips as soon as she saw him.
"Three days, almost four," Goten told her gently.
"Wow Goten, you sure know how to knock a girl out – some kiss huh?" she joked, but he had seen her hand fly to her stomach with some mother's instinct she had to check if her baby was still there.
Goten smiled wearily at her.
"What's the matter with me?" She asked.
"The doctors weren't sure. Your dad guessed that it was Saiyan related, but he was never really close to Saiyan women so…"
"Oh…how's the baby?"
Goten held his breath. He had been preparing for this question, but now that it had come up he didn't know what to say. He tried to meet her eye but he couldn't do it, so he focused on her pillow. "Bra, there's some really bad news…you see, when there are…complications… like yours during pregnancies, it's procedure to check the baby. The doctors couldn't…on the ultra scan…" He trailed off, and looked quickly at Bra. She stared back at him, her face betraying no fear.
"Go on," she said clearly.
"They couldn't find his heart beat." Goten finished, hardly daring to look at her.
She didn't say anything, but turned away from him to face the white wall on the other side of the room. "I want to be alone now Goten. Thank you for waiting for me to wake up. It was nice of you." Her voice was clear and steady, but he could tell that she was falling to pieces.
He knew to do what she told him, so he left the room and waited outside. He hadn't felt anything yet about losing his son, but having told Bra, it felt much more real. It confirmed that the baby was never going to go home with them, grow up. They weren't going to have their family. His eyes stung and he lifted his hand up to his face and pressed down on his eyes with his fingers.
He hadn't managed to tell her that she would be having the baby removed from her by caesarean as soon as the doctors thought she was well enough. The doctors had been worried about the effects a miscarried Saiyan baby would have on a mother so they had decided on a caesarean under general anaesthetic, to 'prevent further distress to Mrs Son' (Goten hadn't been bothered to correct them).
He gave Bra and hour to herself before he returned to her room.
"What's going to happen?" she asked. He explained to her what the doctor had told him.
"It's a boy then?" she asked him after he had finished.
"Yes, the told me after the scan," Goten's throat was burning. He could understand why Bra was so calm – she was still in shock and recovering from her illness.
"It's strange isn't it? I was sure that the baby would be a girl. Positive, in fact. People kept telling me that mothers get these feelings that tell them, and I got 'girl' every time. I guess it's a good thing that I'm not going to be a mum."
Goten stared helplessly at her.
Bra stared fiercely back, daring him to tell her that she was wrong. 'Everything happens for a reason' she told herself, 'I am not meant to have this child'. She was not going to cry. She was not going to be angry.
"Goten, please, get me a senzu bean, I want to have the caesarean tomorrow."
- - - - -
Pan sat at the Capsule Corp. kitchen table with Bulma and Trunks. Bulma was staring listlessly at a crumb left over from dinner.
"I can't believe it," Pan said aloud.
"Believe it," said Trunks back, though a lot more quietly than Pan had spoken. He was respecting the silence.
"Bra's stronger than this, her baby cannot be dead," Pan replied angrily, banging her fists on the table for emphasis.
"I'm going to bed," Bulma spoke up, and without waiting for a reply, she left the room.
Pan watched her. She was livid. How could Bra lose her baby? Hadn't she suffered enough for the baby? It had to be somebody's fault. There had to be someone who could be beaten to death so everything could be right again.
"Pan, I know you're upset but please stop bringing it up. Bra's not going to want to hear about it every time you're here."
"This shouldn't be happening."
"But it is."
Pan fumed again, though this time in silence. She glared at the clock ticking away on the wall, she frowned at the table, and she shot daggers at Trunks.
"Why don't you care?" she burst out eventually. "How can you be so calm when your nephew died? My cousin? You're just like your dad!"
"Just shut up for a second Pan. Just because my family isn't going on and on about it, it doesn't mean we don't care. You're loud; we're quieter, live with it." He was equally pissed off, and Pan was making it worse.
"Sorry," Pan replied uncharacteristically quietly. She stood up and hugged Trunks tightly, her throat tight with tears. He wrapped an arm around her waist as tightly as he could in her awkward standing position. She understood how much worse it was feeling for him. His sister would be hurting for a long time; his whole family would be affected. Pan might be as close as a sister to Bra, but she would never understand it like a sibling by blood would. Pan stroked his hair comfortingly, hoping that Goten would be comforting Bra.
- - - - -
The doctors had been very doubtful about the senzu bean, but Bra had proved to them that she was fit and ready for the operation. Counselling had been offered to her and had been refused by her. She seemed to have focused all of her attention on removing the baby from her body and there was nothing anybody could do to change her mind. Her parents had spoken briefly to her, trying to talk her into waiting a little longer but she was stubborn. It was obvious that she was not going to change her mind.
Eventually the doctors agreed to run the pre-op tests. She seemed to be completely fine. By noon she was ready for her anaesthetic and by one o'clock or sooner, she would no longer be carrying her baby.
Goten was silent throughout everything. Without the baby there was only Bra's choice. There was nothing he could do to convince her to wait. 'And what good would waiting do anyway?' he had asked himself. There was nothing to wait for. Bra was in tip-top condition. He just didn't want it to be so final, so soon. As Bra was wheeled out of her room he said goodbye, but not to her, to the baby. She caught his eye for a split second and just for that moment, they could see into each other's minds. She had mouthed 'I'm sorry' to him, but he didn't understand what she was apologising for.
A couple of minutes later, he was joined by Pan and Trunks.
"Where's Bra?" Pan asked fearfully noting the empty room straight away.
"Gone for the operation," Goten replied flatly, sinking onto his plastic chair.
Trunks was staring at him, and Goten looked questioningly at him. "You did something to her." He said.
"No," Goten replied.
"Stop it Trunks," Pan warned. He ignored her.
"You were the last person with her," he insisted, "people don't collapse for no reason. What did you do to her?"
"I didn't do anything to her. Why would I want this?" Goten stood up angrily. Pan stepped between them, pushing Trunks backwards.
"Will you knock it off Trunks? Why the hell would Goten want to kill his Bra or his son? You and I both know that Goten loved Bra. And, before you bring it up, you do know that Paris' pregnancy was an accident. I know that you're trying to be like your father but this - this is pathetic. Vegeta didn't accuse Goten, so be like him now and back off." She was so angry that her hands were shaking. If there was one thing Pan hated, it was rudeness towards her family.
Trunks seemed taken aback, but after a second he snorted disgustedly at her. Goten noticed that he didn't try to start up another fight. Pan could be as scary as Chichi and Videl combined and he felt a bit sorry for Trunks. He would hate to be on the receiving end of Pan's anger.
"I can't believe it Goten," Pan breathed out sadly. "She was fine and now she's…"
"Haven't you talked enough about this?" Trunks said bitterly from where he stood.
She glared at him furiously. "Stop being a prick because Goten is here. You guys were the best of friends; you don't have to play 'strongest Saiyan – Vegeta vs. Goku'. Listen, both of you, when Bra comes into this room I want no arguing, no comments and no fighting. We're not here to sort out your problems, we're here for Bra. Ok?"
Goten nodded tiredly, and Trunks turned away from her sulkily – his way of agreeing.
"So… do you know how long the operation is?" Pan asked Goten.
"Not long, but it'll take her a while to wake up. She's under general anaesthetic."
"Why? Or is that a stupid question?" She asked.
"I don't suppose she'd want to be under local anaesthetic. You wouldn't really want to see your baby pulled out of you after…" he trailed off, still believing that if he didn't have to say his son was dead, it wouldn't be true. Trunks had been listening intently and he winced at the thought of seeing your dead child taken away from you before you even knew him. He wished that he had made more of an effort to help Bra just after she had broken up with Goten.
- - - - -
A half hour later a sleeping Bra was wheeled back into the room on her bed. The nurse hooked Bra up to the necessary machines and the asked Goten to step into Bra's doctor's office later. He wanted to find out what the doctor wanted to talk to him about but he didn't want to leave Bra just less. Trunks noticed his uncertainty of what to do.
"Go to the doctor, we'll stay with Bra," he said curtly. Goten smiled gratefully and left the room.
The doctor's room was almost next door to Bra's room, which helped to ease Goten's guilt of leaving Bra. He knocked hesitantly before letting himself in. The doctor gave him a small greeting and shook his hand, gesturing for him to sit down.
"Now, Mr Son, I have some good news and some bad news." Fear turned Goten's blood cold. The doctor seemed quite awkward. "The good news is that your son is alive. But he has a very serious heart condition, and we are unsure of how to treat him. From Mrs Son's medical files, we learned that she is – part Saiyan?" He ended in a question. Goten nodded. "It is possible that this heart problem is found in – in Saiyans. It's had us baffled. You saw for yourself in the scan that there was no heart beat." He paused. Goten was in two minds. His son was alive, but dangerously ill. Happiness and worry flooded through his body. "Now, because he is a month premature, his chances are less than they would normally be. We could wait until he is stronger but we do not know much about his heart, so we would prefer to do it as soon as possible. We would need yours and Mrs Son's permission to go through with the surgery."
"Can I see him?" Goten asked. The doctor nodded.
"He's in the ICU – Intensive care unit. I'll take you there." He and the doctor got up and left for the ICU. The doctor seemed to be walking at a snail's pace, but after an age they arrived. Goten washed his hands with antibacterial soap and pulled on some overalls at the doctor's instruction. The doctor led him into the room.
Goten saw his son the second he steeped through the door. He had a shock of already-messy dark blue hair and was sleeping peacefully. Even as a baby he had an amazing resemblance to neither Bra nor Goten but Trunks.
"Can I hold him?" Goten asked, overwhelmed by the tiny baby. He couldn't believe that the tiny bundle before him needed heart surgery. The doctor nodded and Goten picked up his son. He felt so tiny and fragile – he couldn't let him die after the scare he had given them all. What Bra had told him ran through his mind as he held 'Baby Son'. She believed that she would have made a bad mother, because she believed that things happened for a reason. If the baby was alive, he was meant to survive, right?
"You have my permission," he told the doctor quietly, as he stroked his son's tiny balled fist. The doctor nodded, and then quietly retreated.
- - - - -
Bra opened her eyes and peered groggily at Pan and Trunks.
"Is it over already?" she mumbled, trying to fight of the sleepiness. She felt her stomach and was startled at how much smaller it was already. What surprised her even more was how lonely she felt without her son keeping her company.
"Yes," Pan told her, "it's all over now. I'm so sorry Bra." Pan tried to not to cry for Bra's sake.
"Oh," was all Bra said. She fingered the stitches from the caesarean. She looked around the room. "Where's Goten?"
Pan shrugged. "I wouldn't know. He went to speak to the doctor a while ago and he hadn't come back yet. He'll be back soon enough though."
At that moment, Pan could've been a prophet, because only fifteen seconds later Goten walked through the door. "You're awake," he said, smiling.
"Yeah." She replied.
He sat down by her side. He was unsure where to start with his new news, but he told Bra, Pan and Trunks about the baby's condition. Once he had explained the condition to them, the room fell into silence, and Pan and Trunks exchanged looks. Pan hadn't fully understood the gravity of the situation and was thrilled, Trunks was not so happy – how would Bra react? She hated to be messed around, and that day she had been bombarded with problem after problem, and the drastic change from death to life would surely have a hard impact with her. Would she accept or reject her son now?
"I want to see him," she stated strongly after the pause. For some reason she was livid. She wanted to wring the neck of the first doctor she saw. "Goten, Trunks, Pan, somebody take me to him now." She struggled to stand but couldn't. The anaesthetic hadn't worn off. No one made a move and she was losing her temper fast. "Get me a fucking wheelchair goddamit! I don't care if I have to drag myself along the floor to the ICU, I am going to see my son whether the doctors 'recommend it' or not."
"I don't think you should…" Goten started.
"DO NOT MAKE ME BLAST YOU THROUGH THIS WALL GOTEN. I HAVE SOME KI STORED UP JUST FOR YOU. FELL PRIVELAGED." She was exaggeratedly pissed off.
Eventually Pan stepped up fiercely and helped Bra out of bed. "Goten or Trunks, get her the damn chair. She's right; women have caesareans all the time and are up and about hours later. If she wants to see her baby, she can see her baby." Goten nodded, it was true enough, but if he had seen the baby, it was only fair that she did too. He wasn't sure if Bra understood how sick her son was though. He also wasn't sure about what the doctors would say.
Pan seemed to be thinking along the same lines. "The doctors will never let you see him so soon after your operation. We'll have to hide. Trunks, go see if the coast is clear." Trunks obediently did so and gave them the all clear. Running like they had escaped from the psychiatric ward they made their way to the ICU. Outside the door Goten instructed them to wash their hands and put on their overalls. Trunks and Pan declined the visit, insisting that it should be 'parents only'. Well, Pan insisted, Trunks agreed. Goten helped Bra into her overalls and wheeled her into the ICU.
The baby took her breath away. She kicked Goten in the calf and ordered him to wheel her to him. Without any hesitation and with (what Goten guessed was) a natural maternal instinct she scooped him into her arms.
"Hiro," she breathed.
"What?"
"His name." Bra said quietly, stroking her son's tiny face with her finger. "He looks like a Hiro to me."
Goten didn't particularly like the name Hiro, and he'd never heard Bra say she liked the name, but he supposed that she should be the one to name him after carrying him for not quite nine months.
"Don't you like the name?" Bra asked him. She could tell by the look on his face that he didn't. "It just really suits him. If we called him something like Hiroshi or Hiroyuki or something, I could abbreviate it." She was begging with him, but he couldn't understand why she was so fixated on the name. He couldn't think of the meaning of it, but if she wanted to call him Hiro, let her go ahead and name him Hiro. Or Hiroshi.
"Hiro's fine. I like the name Hiroshi better though, but I'll abbreviate with you."
"Baby Hiro – shi. Even if he chances aren't that good, they're better with surgery than without right? I'll give them permission." She hugged him tightly to her chest. "He's quiet isn't he? He hasn't cried, he hasn't made any noise. He must be really weak -" She stopped to frown around the room. "They shouldn't be leaving him alone like this."
Goten shrugged. "There's a nurse's station just over there. Bra, we should get you back to your room and tell the doctor he's got our permission. They want to start running tests straight away, and we're not doing Hiro any favours right now."
Bra glared at the offending room and reluctantly placed Hiro into his crib. "It doesn't look very comfortable," she said doubtfully, prodding the lining of the crib. "Maybe we should stay here until the doctor comes to check on him."
"Bra, you've just had an operation. We can call the doctor now and let him start the tests, but you have to sleep. You're not going to be very helpful to anyone if you're tired. Also," he ended, playing his ace card, "being up and about so soon will affect you healing. You might not be up when Hiro has to go to surgery." It was blackmail of sorts, but you had to be tough to get Bra to do what you wanted. Looking miserably at Hiro Bra nodded, and planted a feather light kiss on his cheek, as though scared she would hurt him.
"Wheel me away," she said forlornly, and Goten wheeled her out of the ICU to meet Pan and Trunks.
"Well?" Pan said excitedly as soon as she saw them.
"He's beautiful, but so tiny," Bra told her, and then her eyes filled with tears, "he's so sick. He didn't do anything, he just lay there. What the hell is wrong with him?" She brushed the tears away impatiently and the sagged against the arm rest of her wheelchair. She took a shaky breath. "Oh God, what if he dies? I love him so much, he can't leave me now - we've been through so much together."
"He'll be fine Bra, I promise," Pan told her. "You're just tired, and he's only a few hours old – you wouldn't expect him to be very lively would you?"
"Most newborns cry," Bra pointed out.
"Well, he's a new breed of Saiyan; maybe Saiyan-HumanxSaiyan-Human babies are quiet." Bra frowned at her. "Anyway," Pan continued hastily, "like I said, you're tired, and everything will look better in the morning."
The group wheeled Bra back to her room and helped settle her into the hospital bed, and Goten waited with her until she fell asleep before signing the permission forms for Hiro's surgery. The doctor told him about the testing procedures and what kind of surgery it would be most likely to be and how long the healing should last should the surgery be successful. Goten let it all wash over him; he was completely exhausted. He hadn't slept properly since Bra had collapsed. I felt as though a lifetime ago since Bra had fallen to the floor of her kitchen.
Once, as a teen on his way to school, he had over heard some people talking about life and death on the bus. One woman had said to her friend that she believed that whether you led a good or bad life now depended on how you had lived your past life. For example, she had said, if you murdered someone now, you would probably have an awful next life to pay for you sin. Goten hadn't believed a word of it at the time, but now he wondered what kind of life he had led before to deserve this.
- - - - -
Pan and Trunks, who wanted to be helpful, went out to the pay phones and updated the family. Most were over the moon, not understanding how serious the situation was and sending their congratulations to Bra and Goten. Others were worried and passed on any information on heart problems they had. Bulma even went to research heart diseases in Saiyans ("I cured Goku didn't I?") and promised to find a cure.
When they had completed their mission of helpfulness they took seats in the empty waiting room nearest to Bra's room. Pan sat against the room whilst Trunks sprawled out shamelessly across the remaining chairs.
"Trunks…" Pan began.
"Hmm," Trunks replied, looking up at her.
"I don't want to interfere in your life or anything, don't get me wrong, but… I think that Goten could really use a friend right about now."
Trunks grunted. "He should've thought about the consequences before he got Paris pregnant." Trunks had actually gotten along quite well with Paris whilst she and Goten had been dating, but now he loathed her for hurting Bra.
"Are you going to keep telling yourself that he did it on purpose for the rest of your life?" Pan asked him.
"Yes," he mumbled. "He hurt my little sister. It's my job to hate him. I'm under obligation."
This time Pan snorted at him. "Grow up Trunks. It's your job as his best friend to help him out. What do you do when your two obligations collide?"
"Support the group that everyone else supports?" He suggested, and then laughed at his own 'wit'.
Pan laughed with him humourlessly. "Think about it, ok? Like I said, I'm not interfering with what you think is right, but he must be feeling really bad. I know that he was happy that you came, even if it was to see Bra. I wasn't around when you were kids but I've heard some interesting stories." She could tell by his expression that what she was saying was getting through to him. She delivered her winning blow. "We all make mistakes Trunks, you know it, but if Bra's willing to forgive, you're just making an idiot of yourself." Not quite the dramatic line she had been hoping to deliver, but at least she had been herself, a key element in arguments.
They fell silent and enjoyed one of the rare times a person got to think undisturbed. Pan guessed pretty accurately that Trunks was thinking about what she said, and was glad that she had managed to get through to him. Left to his own devices, Trunks was very stubborn, just like Bra. In fact the whole Vegeta-Briefs clan was. So one could say that it took a lot of effort to change a Vegeta-Briefs' mind.
Pan's guess had been a good one. Her talk with him had made him think and decide to try to patch things up with Goten. It would be hard, and they'd never be as close as they had been again, but for Pan and Bra, he'd give it a try. So he had thought of Goten, but he was more preoccupied with other thoughts. Almost without realising, during Bra's pregnancy, he had fallen for Pan in a big way. She had been around almost constantly and he'd begun to see sides of Pan that he had never seen before. They had been friends before, but never very close. Close enough for friendly banter and insults, but not close enough to go out with and confide in. He was known as a notorious player of women, never having a steady relationship, but he could see something working with him and Pan. She wasn't a model, a bimbo or a bitchy rich girl, she was his friend.
- - - - -
Like my ending to the chapter (I didn't)? – it's TRUNKSXPAN! They make such a cute couple, and I though you fab readers would like it…did you? This story has become a bit of a series of unfortunate events, but in Nattle's imagination, the drama and awful goings on are wonderful and leave even me on edge – I don't even know how the story's going to end? PLEASE REVIEW! I GOT BRILLIANT FOR CHAPTER 8, KEEP IT UP! XX
