Alice didn't answer me.
"Alice, where is he?" I asked again.
"I'm so sorry, Bella," She said so quietly that if I was still human I wouldn't have been able to here her.
By this time all the Cullen's had their ear's pushed up against the window.
"What is it Alice, where's Edward?"
Her voice was still just as quiet. "I'm sorry! There was nothing I could do! I tried to catch him, but he just kept-"
"Alice! Just tell me!"
She sighed. "He heard my thoughts."
"And…?" I was confused.
"And I was having a vision."
I stared at her, trying to understand what she was getting at.
Then it clicked.
"About me," I mumbled, Alice nodded.
My eyes widened as I stumbled backwards.
"Bella I-" Alice reached for me.
"No!" I shook my head slowly as I backed away from her. "No! This can't be happening! No!" I shouted again and again.
I took off running at full vampire speed, tracing Edward's scent.
He couldn't be too far away, I kept chanting to myself, he couldn't be too far away.
I ran through the forest, making sure that no human saw me running at this pace, not that they would've been able to work out that it was me.
I could smell him, I was getting closer.
I began to slow down when I saw him. I knew that he knew I was there, but he didn't look up. I took slow cautious steps towards him wondering what I was going to say.
I was walking faster then I'd realized and was next to him within one minute.
I knelt down in front of him, he looked up straight away.
I took hold of his hand when I saw how upset he looked. I grabbed the back of his neck and pulled him into a tight hug.
He was the one to pull back.
"Bella, I don't want to make this harder for you, just say what you need to say,
please."
I shook my head slowly and felt that stupid tearless sob rising in my chest.
"Edward, I don't know what I need to say, I don't know what I want."
"Would you like some help?"
"Yes please," I saw a small smile flash quickly across his face.
"Do you love me?"
"Yes."
"Are you in love with me?"
"Yes."
Now came the hard questions.
"Do you love Jacob Black?" He asked slowly.
"Yes… I always have, as a friend."
Edward nodded. "Are you in love with Jacob Black?"
I opened my mouth to say yes, but then snapped it shut when I thought how much it would hurt Edward to know that.
Edward was looking deep into my eyes and I knew that he understood my answer even though I didn't say anything.
"What are you going to do about it?" He asked after a few minutes of excruciating silence.
"I don't know. I'm so sorry, Edward, this must be hell for you." I lay my head on his crossed legs ad he stroked my hair. I tried to imagine what it would feel like if it was Jacob instead of Edward, I quickly dismissed the idea and only thought about what it would be like if I left Edward; I didn't like that idea.
My phone buzzed in my pocket. The ID read Jake. I glanced at Edward.
Edward sighed, "Pick it up."
"Hi, Jake." I answered.
"Hey, Bella."
There was an awkward silence.
"Why did you ring?" I sighed.
"What, I'm not allowed to ring you?" I could almost hear his teasing smile.
"Of course you are!" I giggled then abruptly stopped when I saw the look on Edward's face. "Ugh, look, Jake, I'm sorry, I have to go."
"Why so soon?"
"Umm, I'm busy right now."
"Oh, okay, sure. Bye, Bells." He sounded upset to have to stop the conversation so soon.
"Bye." I whispered when the line went dead.
I took my time when I turned to look back at Edward.
His face looked pained. His eyes were shut tight, his mouth was in a fine line, all the happy features had disappeared.
"I'm so sorry! I shouldn't have picked up! I-"
"Shh," He shushed me, "I told you to answer, don't worry," He forced a smile. "Can I try something?"
"Of course."
"You might not like it," He warned me.
I shrugged.
He squared his shoulders and shuffled closer to me.
I leaned in at the same time he did, our lips met halfway, just the way it should be.
Our stone, cold mouths moved in sync. As we broke apart he put two fingers on my lips, signally me not to say anything.
"Now go, go and…" He struggled to say whatever he was trying to say next, "Go and kiss Jacob Black."
I felt my eyes widen.
"Don't worry, Love. A kiss says a lot, so go and kiss him then you can compare."
"I can't."
"Yes you can."
"The treaty," I stated.
"Is already broken," Edward stated back.
Edward stood up and pulled me with him, "Now go," He whispered in my ear and gave me a small push.
I began to walk- at human speed- to Jacob's house. I looked back to see that Edward had already gone home. All the way to La Push I tried to think of what I was going to say to Jacob, the time passed too quickly and I was already at his door, I knocked softly.
I heard Billy's wheelchair moving towards the front door.
"Bella!" He greeted me with a large grin.
My brows pulled together, "You're happy to see me?"
"Always!"
"But, the treaty-"
"Is for the Cullen's, you're not a Cullen," His face darkened. "Now, come in!"
I stepped inside the small house.
"Jacob's in his room," Billy told me.
"Thanks."
I walked down the thin hallway and knocked on Jacobs door, I didn't get an answer so I let myself in.
Jake was asleep. I smiled at his feet; they were hanging well off the end of the bed.
He was sleeping on top of the covers, I lay myself next to him and tucked my head comfortably under his arm.
It surprised me that for once Jake was actually wearing a t-shirt.
I touched his cheek and he jumped.
"Vampire!" He yelled as he leapt off the bed, shaking madly. He grew a tiny bit bigger and his tight t-shirt he was wearing the second before ripped off.
"Jake! Jake! It's me!" I sat up and tried to calm him.
It astounded me that he was half-way to morphing into a giant dog and then he stopped in his tracks.
"Oh, Bella, it's just you" Jake smiled which automatically made me smile.
He lay back down on his bed and patted the spot next to him, signalling for me to come and lye down next to him, I eagerly accepted his invitation.
I could see that he wanted to ask me something.
"What is it, Jake?"
He was quiet for a second more, until he finally spoke. "What's changed? What's made you like being with me again, do you like being with me?"
I hesitated, I was here for a reason, to kiss Jacob and compare to Edward's. But it felt so wrong to do that, to possibly give Jacob the wrong idea.
"I don't know," I whispered as I looked away from his face.
I felt his eyes on my face, "Bella? Is there something you want to ask me?"
"How do you know me so well? How do you always know when I do or don't want to ask you something?" I turned my head and looked back at him.
A smile spread across his face, "Because you're my favourite person in the world, Bella. How can I not know everything about you?"
He was so sweet, I almost kissed him right then and there. I hadn't realized but my hand had drifted to his muscular chest, I left it there.
"Jake," I said in a small voice, "Can I try something? I don't know what you'll think, or I you want me to do it, but I have no choice."
He frowned, "Sure, sure."
I craned my neck and softly placed my lips on his, he had a different idea.
As soon as he realized what I was doing he went wild. He crushed his lips down on mine and kissed me passionately. I didn't want him to stop, I wanted the kiss to last forever.
Jacob pulled away first to breath, he was breathing heavily.
When he caught his breath he asked me, "Where did that come from?"
I stared at him, dazed by the kiss.
"Bella?"
"I… I… don't get angry, okay?"
Jacob nodded.
"I think I'm in love with you," I said in a quiet voice.
Jacob's eyes shot open, he was not expecting that.
"And Edward knows that, but I still love Edward too… so he told me to come over here and… compare your kiss to his."
Jacob was still in shot from me telling him that I was in love with him.
"Jake?"
"I… I'm… I'm sorry… I'm just… caught by surprise."
"I know, it's just-"
"Hang on," he put two fingers on my lips, "Which kiss was better?" he whispered.
I shook my head and whispered back, "It didn't help."
We lay silently in his bed for a few minutes.
"I better go," I said eventually.
Jacob grabbed my hand, "No!" he said as he pulled me onto his chest. "I mean, no, please stay, I haven't seen you for a real long time."
"I'm sorry, Jacob, I can't stay."
"Why not?" he let his grip loosen and I began to stand.
"I have to go and think."
Without another word I walked out of his room, I planned to ignore Billy but he talked to me, I couldn't ignore him.
"I heard you two in there."
I sighed, "Everything?" He nodded, "Great," I said sarcastically.
"I know this is just going to make you feel worse, Bella, but you've damaged him so much more."
"What? I haven't done anything!"
Billy sighed loudly. "Yet. Although I hope that you'll stay with Jacob, it's obvious that you'll go back to Edward, but now you've let him think he has a chance and he'll be so hurt when you leave him."
I put my head in my hands ad I sat down at the kitchen table, "I hadn't thought of that. But, Billy, he does have a chance, and I don't know why you think he doesn't."
I walked out the front door without another glance at Billy.
I went down the La Push beach, even though it was pouring with rain, and sat on a log. It was less then a minute before Alice rang me.
"Ugh! What now?!" I growled as I answered my phone.
"Sorry, Bella. I can't see your future but I can see ours, and I see us having to move, now, today."
"One problem at a time." I mumbled into the phone. "Why?"
"Because of coach! She told everyone about us, all the kids at school, all the locals, all the teachers, Charlie… everyone!"
Then it hit me. I would either have to move states with Edward without Jacob, or stay here with Jacob and without Edward, either way I wouldn't, couldn't be with both of them.
REVIEW! Please, I only got two reviews last chapter and I need to know your opinions and ideas xx
