9

BPOV-

Christmas eve at the Cullen's is crazy, but so much fun. Its only 12 in the afternoon and we have already decorated the tree, ate a huge breakfast, and now we are about to start baking cookies for "Santa".

"So did you guys do anything for christmas at the cabin?" alice asks me as I set Kate down in her bouncy seat next to us.

"Uhm before my mom died we would get a big tree branch from outside and decorate is with paper ornaments we made and kept through the years. We would also sing Christmas carols too me while we decorated. I never got you know presents or anything but it was nice and out of the normal everyday boredom. I used to sit infront of the tree all day until they would drag me to bed," I chuckle at the memory of my mother telling me I would turn into a zombie if I didnt stop staring then Phil would pretend he was one to scare me, but we would always end up laughing.

"Thats beautiful Bella, some memories stick with us forever and that is definatley one I would hold onto," Esme says, smiling at me.

"You mean that that man let you do stuff like that?" Emmett asked.

"Phil... he wasnt always bad or malevilant. Im not saying what he did to me was right but he honestly wasnt a bad guy before my mother died. Ofcourse he never let us leave but he also never let us starve. If it werent for him getting us food and fire would, water even my mother and I would have perished a long time ago. I remember when I was little we would play hide and seek in the house or silly little games he would make up. After my mom died was when he snapped.." I whisper the last part and tend to Katherine who spit her paci out.

"Is that why your not so upset about it all," alice asks quietly.

"What do you mean?"

"There this girl at school that got uhm raped by her uncle and, though now with intense therapy she is better, before you couldnt talk to her. Look at her. She would freak out when anybody god forbid a boy even stepped near her. It took almost a year for her to stop being afraid of everyone. But you just act like it never happend, like Katherine is Edwards child and you've lived with us forever..." she trails and looks at me, biting her lip as if she knows she crossed a line or went to far.

"The first time it happend... I was a mess. I cried for days and wouldnt eat, sleep, or even talk. Phil broke down after he did it and told me how sorry he was that he never ment to hurt me... I actually found comfort in him because he was all I had. He could have killed me. Buried me in the snow with my mother but he didnt and for that I was grateful to him because death scared me more than him taking me when he wanted. After a while I just didnt think about it, when he did, I just spaced out.. pretended like I wasnt there. I guess thats why Im not a emotional or freak out at the drop of a pen. It was normal for me and for him. I didnt like it! God no I mean no body likes it when they forced do something they dont want to do but he never hurt me. I just did my duties like he asked and I stayed alive," I shrug. "Now enough with the heavy. Lets decorate some cookies! Esme they smell amazing." I tell her.

Edward hugs me gently from behind and whispers, " You are amazing Isabella. An amazing mother, an amazing friend, and just an amazing soul. You make me feel weak when I think about all you have over come.." he kisses the side of my face and whipsers he loves me before sitting next to me. I smile over at him as we begin to decorate cookies for Carlisle's fellow doctors and our nieghbors. My dad arrives with Carlilse about an hour later and they take the boys outside to put up some lights as us girls clean up and make them some hot cocoa. I cant wait to give Edward his gift tonight, I just hope he likes it...

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