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MORE SCHOOL!

See if you can read this chap without laughing!!!

What are you?

Chapter 9

Previously:

"Well when the really big aliens came up to take it away, they were like doing these really weird things with their hands and talking in a different language and I was like 'look peeps, sorry but I have footy trials this arvo, I'm too busy maybe some other time' then they were like screaming and pointing at me and I was like 'yea? Well I said no so fuck you' and I walked away" I explained

Alice and a few other people fell off their seats with laughter

"DETENTION MS. STARLOTAL" mr. M roared

"Yes sir!" I said and skipped to my seat and plopped down

"And that my friend is the way I like class" I said pretending to file my nails, to Alice over the roar of laughter from the class

the rest of class was a drag. I mean come on! Only someone like Lauren wouldn't know when to use punctuation in an essay!

BBBBBBBBRRRRRRIIIIIIIIINGGGGG!

"Halleluiah! I am free!" I said stretching

"what do you have next?" Alice asked

"Spanish" I said

"Oh, watch out Emmett has that class." She said

"Meh I can handle that one year old" I replied

"See you later" I called

I entered the classroom. As soon as Emmett saw me "PARTNER IN CRIME!" he yelled and he stood up, which tipped his desk and table over.

"Misterr Culleenn, sit down!" the teacher said

"Gooten taag miss!" I said

"mizz Starrlotall zat iz Germaan not Zpanish" she said

"Oh. My bad" I said biting my lip.

The class cracked up.

"Go zit down" she said

she continued with her lesson, about five minutes later I hissed o Emmett "I cant take this anymore!"

"manquez la Mlle il y a un méchant singe en mangeant des noix de coco sous ma table!" I said pulling out a toy monkey from under my desk.

I screamed and flung it across the room.

(translation: miss miss there is a evil monkey eating coconuts under my table!)

the class roared with laughter. Oh they understood?

"Detention ms. Starlotal!" she said

"Yes Ma'am" I said

Emmett was booming with laughter at me. I grinned at him

BRRRRRRRRIIIIINNNNNGGG!

WOOO!! LUNCH!

"Yo Cullens. Sisters" I greeted my friends as we sat down at our table

"Hey Bella I heard you made some noise in your classes" Edward said

"Yep got detention for both of em'" I said grinning

"BOTH!" Rosalie said

"Well that's not a surprise I was sure I could hear loud laughter from across the school. What did you do?" Jasper asked

"Well in english she said that aliens tried to abduct her…" Alice said

"And then in Spanish, when she came in she greeted the teacher by saying 'gooten taag' and then she yells in the middle of class 'miss miss there is a evil monkey eating coconuts under my table!' in french then she brings out a pink toy monkey and screams while she flings it across the room!" Emmett said falling off his seat with laughter

"Oh boy…moms not gonna be happy about that" Said Aubrey

"Yea ok whatever, I have a plan for biology" I said

"Yes! I'll get to be there" Edward said

"Oh Eddie, before I forget, footy training is this arvo after school, you coming?" I said

"You trying out for the footy team?" he asked me.

"Don't underestimate me buddy boy" I said

BBRRRRRRRIIIIINNNGGGGG!

Goody! I get to give my new excuse! oh this will be hilarious!

I was walking down the hallway when I walked passed Lauren.

"Oh hey where were you guys?" she asked

"Around" I said waving my hand

"You were hiding from me weren't you? You little shit, trying to take my place!" she yelled

I felt a stinging in my cheek. She had slapped me

"I think you should go join your mom in heaven." She sneered

"Yea well when I die of old age mind you at least I'll be away from you cuz you'll be in hell" I hissed back slapping her across the face with twice as much force as she did to me.

I stalked off to class. I slammed open the door and everyone turned to look at me.

"Your reason why your late Ms Starlotal?" Mr. B sighed

"Well I was walking to class and I got distracted.-"

"I believe you told this excuse to mr. Moran Ms Starlotal, it was all over the staffroom."

"No! but this is different sir, I promise! Anyway I got distracted because the reeeaaaally big aliens, even bigger than last time came back and crashed in front of me. I was like 'oh what the fuck do they want?' then they started jabbering again and I was like 'LOOK! I'm SORRY BUT I HAVENT DONE MY FOOTY TRYOUT YET!' then they were like rolling on the ground screaming and I said 'ok I warned you' and I kicked them all where the sun don't shine"

by the time I had finished more than half the class was doubled over laughing. Edward was on the floor rolling around. Even mr.B's mouth was twitching with amusement.

I added more to my joke by scratching my head "But I'm serious"

Edward laughed even harder. Mr. B cracked a smile "Go sit down next to please"

"Right away sir!" I said happily.

Edward was still on the floor in histerics like the rest of the class. I crouched down next to him and said "Wow I didn't know I was that funny"

I stood up and sat in my seat. The class was still laughing.

Once they had quietened down, Edward was sitting up on the floor chuckling, I raised my hand

"Yes Ms. Starlotal?"

"Sir Edward was scaring me could I possibly move?"

"And why was he scaring you Isabella?" he asked in amusement

"Because he was rolling on the floor like the aliens and it makes me wanna kick him where the sun don't shine"

this set off another round of laughter and Edward rolling on the floor. Again

"SEE? THERE HE GOES AGAIN! JUST LIKE THE ALIENS" I said pointing to Edward who was clutching his stomach rolling around.

"Sorry Isabella, you'll have to stay there" he said

"I'm watching you, I know who you are" I said putting two fingers under my eyes and pointing them at him.

The class rumbled with laugher. Then my phone started ringing.

I'm a barbie girl in a barbie wooorrld,

Life is plastic, its fantastic!

You can brush my hair

Or dress me every where…

"SHHH! Its probably important" I hissed to the class

"Hello" I said putting it on loud speaker

"Hi our company is doing a survey, could you please give us your phone number?" the man on the end asked

"Listen here man, either your some non-trained person because you just asked for my number when you just called me! Are you high or something?" I asked

the class roared with laughter

"And second I'm in class at the moment and you my high friend are on loud speaker."

"O-oh terribly so-orry to b-bother you m-miss"

"That is right, your lucky I wont call the aliens on you" I said

that did it for mike, he fell off his chair and started rolling around

"Thank you Bella, could you please get that hooligan off the phone?" mr. B asked

"Sure thing sir!" I said as I flipped my phone shut

"For that entertainment Bella, all your detentions are gone" he said

BRRIIIIIIINNNNNGGGGG!

"Thanks Mr.B!" I said skipping out of the room.

WOOT! GYM!

I strolled into the gym to find Alice, Aubrey, Sally, Rose, Emmett, Edward and Jasper all in my class

"Yo peeps!" I said

"Isabella Starlotal! Why are you late?" coach clap asked

"Sorry sir my tampon ran away from me" I said.

He looked at me shocked

"Oh sir are you al right I meant tennis ball. It literally grew legs and ran away sir, I had to chase it. Curse those damn aliens" I said

"No funny buisness in my class Bella" he said

"Yes sir!. Hey sir? Could the boys and I have a break cuz were going for footy tryouts this arvo" I asked

"Whatever you think is best Starlotal!" he said tuning away

"Oh my god Bella that was so funny!" said Rose

"it was even funnier in bio" I said

END OF GYM AT TRYOUTS

"okay boys" coach said.

"Ah-hem" I said

"And girl. The footy season has begun. Show us your stuff" he said

we split up into teams. I had Jasper and Edward on my team, along with a few other boys. The other team contained Emmett, who was standing at the back.

Unlike him I was at the front.

"Whats a puny thing like you doing here? Huh?" one boy sneered

"Yo Crowley, don't do that man it makes her mad" said Edward and Jasper

"No its okay" I said walking from my spot on the field

"Starlotal where you going?" asked coach

"It gets boring listening to the huffs and puffs of men, you need to liven up the party sir" I said walking over to the boom box

I searched through the cd's until I found one. It was probably for the cheerleaders but I liked this song for footy.

I placed it in and pressed play

'Toxic'

"What the fuck? Coach you ant let her do this!" Crowley said

"Shut your trap Crowley" I said to him as I went back to my spot

"Baby, can't you see

I'm calling

A guy like you

"PLAY!" coach said as he blew the whistle

Should wear a warning

It's dangerous

I'm fallin'

Emmett passed the ball o Crowley but I grabbed and zoomed in and out of all the boys and slid in the mud and scored a try

There's no escape

"TRY!" coach said. I grinned at crowley

I can't wait

I need a hit

Baby, give me it

You're dangerous

I'm lovin it

I scored another try and did a dance

Too high

Cant come down

Losing my head

Spinning round and round

Do you feel me now

With a taste of your lips

I'm on a ride

You're toxic I'm slipping under

With a taste of a poison paradise

Im addicted to you

Dont you know that youre toxic

And I love what you do

Dont you know that youre toxic

The same thing happened over and over again

Its getting late

To give you up

I took a sip

From my devil's cup

Slowly

Its taking over me

This time I scored a try by kicking it. And let me tell you it was one of the best kicks I have ever done

Too high

Cant come down

Its in the air

And its all around

Can you feel me now

With a taste of your lips

Im on a ride

You're toxic I'm slipping under

With a taste of a poison paradise

Im addicted to you

I hadnt realized that Alice, Aubrey, Sally, Rosalie and the rest of the grade had come. I decided to flex it up a little.

Dont you know that youre toxic

And I love what you do

Dont you know that youre toxic

"Yo eddie! Here!" I said he passed me the ball and I knew I wasn't gonna make it but I just might. Crowley and Emmett were coming up on my sides and in the nick of time I slid beneath them and they both smashed into eachother.

Coach came over to see if I made it.

"TRRRYYY!" he announced

"WOOT GO US!" I yelled and jumped on Edward back.

Don't you know that you're toxic

I jumped off, time to get back down to buisness

[x2]

With a taste of your lips

I'm on a ride

You're toxic I'm slipping under

With a taste of a poison paradise

I'm addicted to you

Don't you know that you're toxic

I scored again and again I did another dance

Intoxicate me now

With your lovin' now

I think I'm ready now

I think I'm ready now

Intoxicate me now

With your lovin' now

I think I'm ready now"

"BREAK!" coach said

"Wow bells your fast" said Emmett

"Thanks"

"Well we officially have our first girl on the team everyone!"

"You cant be fucking serious coach! Shes a girl!"

"Yea and if you have a problem with a girl on the team then it proves that your obviously gay, you fucktard" I said

"No cussing now kids" coach said

"Welcome to the team Bella" coach said and clapped me on the back.

"WOOO!! GO BELLA!!!" Cheered my friends from the stands

"I cant belive it" Lauren muttered and started to walk away.

"Yo Lauren!" I yelled

"Yea?" she said

"give us a hug!" I said squishing her to my sweaty, muddy clothes

"EEEEEEEWWWWWWWWW" she screamed

I laughed and so did my friends and the footy team.

That's how I want my footy games to be all the time