A/N: Sorry this update took a whole weekend. I have a hard time posting over the weekends because of work and dial-up internet at home. (Yeah, I live in the boonies.) As always, please read and review! Let me know how you think it's going!
***
Okay, so even Frenzy had to admit that this episode was pretty funny. Especially at the beginning when the two gunmen had wiped out an entire room full of cowboys in a bar. That part had been hilarious, despite the fact that there wasn't any blood or anything. Ironhide had come in after the map on the title screen started burning, so he missed the good part. Now it was all stupid squishies talking, and it wasn't even the cowboys, so Frenzy was starting to get bored. He could feel his tired body slowly winding down. He kept staring at the screen, knowing that if he tried to pay attention long enough he would slip into recharge without even having to think about it. Or at least he would if the Cassetticon could manage to stop letting his processor wander back to his earlier conversation with First Aid. The whole thing was making him feel twitchy, and when he got twitchy he wanted to destroy things, and he'd had to put up with enough slag after the wall punching incident.
Why did I ask about all that slag? It's not like it matters anyway. Frenzy drummed his fingers on his uninjured hand against his leg ignoring the sideways glances it earned him from Ironhide. The big fragger wouldn't say anything unless Frenzy talked first. And even then Ravage was more articulate. The red Autobot's vocabulary with the Decepticon was usually just grunts, sighs, and frustrated gestures. Though Frenzy could get a rise out of him if he dissed the dumb cowboy show long enough, Ironhide didn't seem interested in defending any of the other shows Frenzy sometimes watched, never went out of his way to ask him personal questions, and only gave the barest of answers to anything else. But he always waited patiently until Frenzy had slipped off, and there had been a few days when Frenzy had woken up to still find the Autobot there, watching the muted TV in the dim cell. It should have made the Decepticon feel nervous, but it didn't. Instead it made him feel—
"So…" Ironhide started slowly, not taking his eyes off the screen where Hoss and Little Joe were drinking human high-grade in the bar. Lucky fraggers. "So doc tells me that ya hurt your hand punchin' the wall."
Frenzy was too surprised to be withdrawn. "Yeah, so?" He answered, than instantly regretted not answering with a sullen silence. The human bartender on the screen was sputtering like a moron. "Well, uh, i-, it,it's kinda warm…"the tiny human squeaked, "But, well, it's, it's not too warm. Maybe little on the chilly side?"
"That's three cells a' mine you've dented up kid." Ironhide said, with a hint of humor in his deep voice. He shot a look at the Mini-Cassette's damaged hand, "An' when you're gonna punch a flat, metal surface ya wanna do it with your thumb curled an the outside so ya don't pinch it."
Frenzy snorted, flexing his damaged hand. It was still sore, and Ironhide was right, the thumb did feel pinched. "You gotta lot of experience punching walls, do ya?"
Ironhide gave a half grin to the TV, "I gotta lot'a experience punching a lotta different things kid. Walls is just one'a em."
"Yeah, well I'm used to packing a bigger wallop than fists. Not fraggin used to having to punch with my hands."
"Well there," the big red Autobot said, "Now you can't say ya didn't learn nothin' from me."
"I'll keep that in mind the next time I'm slaggin' Autobots on the battlefield." Frenzy toyed with the idea of changing the channel, knowing that it would really grind the old mech's gears. The little bartender guy in the show was whispering to his friends now.
"Oh, did you see the way they looked at me?" He said to the sheriff, "Oh gentlemen there was death in them eyes, sudden death."
Ironhide gave a low laugh, "Kid, I been in almost every battle we've had since we woke up on this rock. An I know for a fact that you ain't been in more'an a couple of 'em. It's always that other one, the blue one. Rumble."
"He's purple." Frenzy snapped defensively.
Ironhide waved his hand dismissively. "Either way. Any reason that other punk gets out more than you?"
There were reasons, but there was no slaggin way Frenzy was gonna tell the Autobot. They sat in silence for a while, watching the cowboys get shot at, Frenzy pretending to be about to fall into recharge, even through the sparkling had started moving again, and while it wasn't uncomfortable, it was… distracting. There were good reasons Frenzy wasn't out in fights as much as Rumble, but it had never occurred to him that the Autobots might notice. Oh, what if they think it's cuz I can't fight?
"I burn off more energy than Rumble faster, specially in a fight." Frenzy said matter-of-factly, "but also when I'm just outta the box. My systems run hotter than Rumble's. It's what makes me a good fighter."
"But not good enough to replace yer more efficient brother mosta the time?"
Frenzy glared at Ironhide. Smartaft.
Ironhide grinned at the TV and the Mini-Cassette started considering ripping the energon line out of his chest and rushing over to the big dumb Autobot to try out his new punching technique.
"So what were ya doin' attacking lighthouses?" Ironhide asked, watching Hoss and Little Joe on the TV get threatened by squishies with guns.
Frenzy considered just snapping 'none of your fraggin' business,' but slaggitall, he was bored.
"It was part of Megatron's latest plan." He lied, trying to wipe the stupid smile off his face. Lying was more his brother's strong suit, but he didn't really care if the stupid Autobot believed him or not.
Ironhide grunted, obviously very skeptical, "Really? That lighthouse strategically important?"
Frenzy nodded, the stupid smile creeping back into the corners of his mouth, "Oh yeah, really important. Destroying that lighthouse would fuck up the squishies little boats, creating chaos, and destruction, and…uh… energon!"
"So Megatron sent one little Cassette, alone, ta destroy it?"
"Hey, little guys can fly in under the radar! He knew that I could handle it!"
Ironhide looked at him incredulously, "Megatron know you were carryin'?"
The Mini-Cassette clammed up like he'd been shot with a null-ray, feeling like he'd been tricked, even though he'd been the one trying to lie. Swallowing down any number of wonderful obscenities that might have given him away he pretended to be both suddenly tired and suddenly very interested in what was going on in the show, though he knew that the Autobot wouldn't believe it. Some little femme squishy was reciting poetry to Hoss and Little Joe, who were in jail for some reason that Frenzy hadn't been paying attention for. Dumb fraggers, I know what that's like… he thought.
"Didja really like it?" the ugly, squishy woman asked when she'd finished her poem.
"I thought it was prime, just prime." Hoss answered enthusiastically through the bars. Ironhide snorted.
Frenzy tried to pay attention enough to slip into recharge, and Primus knows that the stupid squishies talking to each other was boring enough to have put anyone to sleep, but his conversation with First Aid kept running together with the conversation he'd had with his brother over two weeks ago, and he kept feeling his fists on Ironhide's leg as he'd pounded into it and Ironhide's hand on his wrist as it guided his hand down to find his sparkling's pulse. Two weeks…and they ain't come for you yet.
Someone came and broke Hoss and Little Joe out of jail, and Frenzy flipped off the television in frustration. Damn stupid, lucky, shaft-shiners!
"Ya really should be trying ta sleep kid." Ironhide said softly. The Decepticon merely moved his arm over so he was flipping off the big mech across the cell. The Autobot crossed his arms, unamused but unmoved, and went back to watching the TV. Frenzy went back to trying to ignore his own thoughts, but damn it; there were so many of them. Ironhide kept giving the Mini-Cassette sideways glances, able to tell something was up but unsure what he could do about it.
"It must really torque your torsion bars," Frenzy finally started, his voice hazy with exhaustion, "havin' ta watch me like this."
Ironhide unfolded his arms and leaned in, "What makes you think I have to watch you?"
Frenzy didn't have an answer, so he drummed his fingers slowly on his chest, "Must really tick you off that Optimus offered to let me stay, huh?" he asked, his tired voice thick with accusation.
The old, red, Autobot shook his head, "Kid, why in the name of Vector Sigma da'ya think that would tick me off?"
The Mini-Cassette watched the screen, too tired to come up with an answer. Some tiny squishy kid had come through Hoss and Little Joe's window. Frenzy rubbed at where the sparkling was moving, the faint, shifting feeling kicking up all kinds of emotions that he didn't have the energy to destroy things for. Ironhide watched him from the corner of his optics, but the Decepticon didn't notice.
On the TV Hoss and Little Joe were talking to the tiny squishy kid.
"Just why are we supposed to kill Ans Hadfield?" Little Joe asked.
"He's the fastest gun around here ain't he," the little pug-nosed thing squeaked back. "None of us McFaddens can hold a candle to 'im. We gotta get rid of him before we can kill the rest of the Hadfields."
"Well…ha..how come you gotta kill all them Hadfields?" Hoss wondered.
"Don't you fellas know anything? It's a feud!" The short human cried. "He's kinda dumb aint he?" He asked Little Joe.
Ironhide suddenly sighed. "Frenzy listen," he started, " I been known ta keep grudges sometimes. But I wouldn't be fighting the right kinda war fer the right reasons if we didn't leave it open for people ta switch sides."
That hit Frenzy like the blast from a fusion cannon. He sat up. "I ain't switching sides!" he yelled.
Ironhide stood up. "They ain't come fer ya kid!" He said firmly, gesturing around the bare orange cell. "What the slag do ya think you're gonna do?"
"Fuck you!" Frenzy shouted, ignoring how sitting up too fast had made him dizzy.
"Hate to break it to you kid, but that ain't an option." Ironhide cracked sharply. "You're not really my type."
"Oh! And who is?" Frenzy shouted back after he got over his shock at the Autobot's retort. He was willing himself to get angrier, but his body was not cooperating, "That dumb, blocky doc? Ratchet? Or maybe the big boss slagger himself? You like 'em tall, red, and resurrectable?"
Ironhide snorted, then buried his face in his hand trying to stifle his sudden laughter.
The Decepticon glared. The Autobot laughed.
"Kid…kid… You are hopeless, kid."
Frenzy's anger collapsed leaving only annoyance, frustration, exhaustion and nausea in its wake. He lay back on the berth making a show of ignoring everything in the room. Including the big dumb Security 'Bot still choking on his guffaws. The Autobot managed to find his seat again.
"Heh, naw kid, my type is a little more, uh, feminine. And blue. And Autobot. And taller." Ironhide smiled wistfully to himself. "Not that I don't appreciate the offer." He added with a snicker. He gave the Cassetticon a kindly nod, as his face became slightly more serious.
"Now you'll have plenty of time ta think on our offer later. At least five weeks First Aid says. And you know ya gotta think on it, cuz this all ain't just goin' away. But right now you gotta get ta recharging."
Frenzy groaned and rubbed at his optic band with is damaged hand. "This place is a fraggin hellhole." He mumbled.
"I know kid, I know, medical care, energon an television. It's a regular Autobot torture chamber. Why we even gave ya a remote! How could we be so monstrous?"
Frenzy crossed his arms over his chest, carefully, and glowered at the television. He was so absorbed by his anger that he didn't even notice when he'd slipped off into recharge. It only took him a few minutes.
Ironhide settled in to watch the rest of the episode, even though he'd seen it a few times before. Suddenly he leaned forward and rubbed his optics. First Aid and Optimus were right, he thought, there is something more going on here than he's tellin' us.
He gave the resting Decepticon a long, grim stare. Dammit all kid. What are you hidin'? Ain't nobody gonna hurt ya. The Autobot felt his hands ball up into fists, his thumbs on the outside. Not as long as you're like that. Not as long as I'm here.
On the TV Hoss ran down the steps of the saloon and grabbed the shoulders of the tiny squishy boy. "Hey..uh..Hey! Come here boy! Where you goin' with that rifle?"
"I'm gonna kill me some Hadfields!" The little boy growled, before marching away.
Hoss walked slowly up to his brother. "Yep, even the kids are thinkin' like that." He said looking down at his feet.
"Yeah, seems like a shame dosen' it." Little Joe replied thoughtfully as he squinted at the half built barricade in the street.
"Yep." Hoss paused before glancing up at his younger brother, "Well, let's go." He muttered reluctantly.
Little Joe gave Hoss a knowing look, "Come on, who you jokin'?"
Hoss paused, then nodded. "That's what I like about us as a family Little Joe. Pa always taught us ta never do nothing the other's'd be ashamed of. I'd like to keep it that way."
Ironhide pushed the mute on the TV, not wanting to risk the next part waking the kid up.
***
What am I doin'? Frenzy stared at the orange wall, not even able to summon up the effort to glare at it. The sparkling's kicking had woke him up early again, and the Cassetticon had a sinking suspicion that the little fragger was planning on making a habit of it.
What the hell am I doin'? He asked himself again. He tried to reply with Idon'tcareIdon'tcare… but every time his mind started forming the words he heard Ironhide's voice in his head again. 'this ain't all just going away.'
He stared at his injured hand. 'medical care, energon, and television. It's a regular Autobot torture chamber.' The Decepticon wasn't dumb, he knew that part of the reason he'd been looked after so well was because the Autobots were self-righteous softies that wouldn't dream of treating a carrying mechanism with anything less than utmost care for fear of feeling 'barbaric.' That was part of the reason he couldn't let them terminate. The damn fraggers would pity his poor little bastard Decepticon spawn as they took it offline. They would pity it to death. And it deserved a more dignified end than that.
At least…that's what he'd told himself two weeks ago, without really telling himself with words, and every day since then he'd repeated it. But now. What would he do? Two weeks and they hadn't come for him. And the damn little-fragger was kicking.
Chances of survival are seventy- five to eighty- five percent. Frenzy tapped at his chest nervously, trying to ignore the warm lighting feeling that filled him when he just thought of his sparkling moving inside him. Carry for another five to six weeks.
Smaller than I would like to see. Why had those words struck him with fear? It didn't matter. Frenzy rubbed his optic band, being tired made him feel sick. What the frag are you gonna do with a sparkling? Rumble's voice was the voice of reason, which wasn't really that comforting. Thinka how bad you feel now. I promise you, going through it would be like, ten million times worse. And ain't nobody gonna want it but you.
Why did I even ask about all that slag? Frenzy asked himself for the hundredth time. Why did I want to know?
The sparkling moved again and Frenzy covered his face with his hands and groaned. More than anything in the galaxy he missed Rumble right now. Rumble would tell him what to do. Frenzy might not like what Rumble would tell him to do, but at least he wouldn't have to think about it.
He wished he could just, for even a few minutes, curl up in cassette-mode in the dark subspace of Soundwave's chest, feeling his brothers folded up next to him in the dark, listening to the dark thrum of Soundwave's spark. Then he would be able to shut down completely, not feel anything, not know anything, and not have to make any sort of decisions on what he wanted.
Optimus Prime has said that he is willing to let you and your sparkling stay. First Aid had said. Indefinitely, and with full protection. And if you'll talk to me about…about what happened before we captured you. Frenzy sighed, and for one split second he let himself consider what it might possibly be like if he stayed. What it would be like to have his sparkling. What it would be like to betray Soundwave and his brothers for a sawed of little scrap that nobody was ever gonna want anyway. He tapped gently against his chest.
And was echoed by a tapping in the vent above him. Frenzy peered up into the darkness behind the solid reinforced grate, and saw two diamond-shaped yellow lights peering down on him. Frenzy heard the tapping again. Faint, but definite.
He leaned back on his berth, still tapping against his chest, but differently. Then he smiled to himself.
They are coming for me.
***
A/N: The Bonanza episode Ironhide and Frenzy were watching was Episode 19, Season 1, The Gunmen, written by Carey Wilber and first aired January 23, 1960. I love Bonanza.
