So before we see what happens to our favorite characters I have a few announcements to make so please do not skip this:
Firstly: for those of you who followed my other Frozen story 'Frozen on Facebook', I have deleted it. The reason for this is because it was placed on a community called: Reportable Offense. This area in the community is run by a group who calls themselves: Eliminator. So yea…you can thank them that I am back to being 'dark and twisty'. Personally I think that was a load of trash, but I would rather not get reported by these people and taken off of fanfiction…because then where else would I go to rant out feelings in a FICTIONAL WORLD!
Not only that if you go to the search bar and just type in 'Facebook', you see so many of those types of stories. So again I have no clue as to what the problem was; so yea if you have any questions please PM me and I will be more than happy to attempt to answer them, or if you have any concerns about your story, also PM.
Secondly: I just wanted to thank anyone who has followed and also gave favorites for that story, and along with this one as well. You guys are incredibly awesome so you all get a virtual chocolate chip cookie!
Lastly: As per what was mentioned in the beginning, if this chapter is slightly depressing; I apologize. But as you can see I am not really in that great of a mood so I am 'transferring' my feelings into the chapter. I will try and keep it relatively decent.
So without further babbling and what not read, enjoy, and review!
Phantom Agony
Chapter Eight: Icy Revelations
They were all sitting in a small clearing, the adrenaline finally wearing off after Marshmallow's rampage at the Ice Palace. Oh the Palace, Elsa thought mournfully as she looked at the direction they had just come from. They were now half way down the mountain; however it was normally about this area that it could have been seen, but now it was in ruins in the bottom of the canyon…where Marshmallow was trapped as well. Elsa saw Kristoff looking at her along with Olaf and Sven. She knew that Kristoff had admired her ice palace. Anna had told her that he was practically in tears when he first laid eyes on it, "Are you ok Elsa?" Olaf asked quietly.
Elsa saw Anna perk up a bit at his question out of the corner of her eye. She sat a bit further from them along with her horse, "Yes I am ok. We all made it out ok with very minimal injuries at best." That is she knew that Kristoff, Olaf, Sven, and herself was fine. Whether Anna and Pharis were ok was a different story.
When they had started moving she noticed that Pharis was shaking slightly each time he took a step, and Anna, who had been leaning heavily on Pharis, had started holding her shoulder. They had tried to talk to Anna about both her and Pharis's well-being, but her sister kept brushing them off. In the end Elsa finally managed to at least get her to agree for a break, since they were all feeling the weight of what had just occurred. Elsa watched as Anna got up followed by Pharis who had to help her a bit. Elsa made a move to follow, "Wait," Kristoff said reaching out to grab her arm, "we should leave her be."
"What? Why?" Elsa asked looking at him and then turning to watch her sister's retreating form.
"Because we went to her, now we have to let her come to us." Kristoff said, "The more we push, the harder she will push back."
Elsa continued to watch her sister mournfully, but she took a deep breath and shook Kristoff's hand off, "Alright then. What would you suggest? How do we approach her?"
"We don't." Kristoff said slowly as he watched Anna sit back down along with Pharis, "That is again pushing."
"So our option is to do nothing?" Elsa asked incredulously.
"That is what I just said." Kristoff countered back.
Olaf and Sven watched them, heads going back and forth. The snowman and the reindeer could tell that they were about to get into another fight, "No. I am not just going to sit back while my sister is in some sort of pain. I've done that for thirteen years, I am not going to do it again." Elsa said furiously.
Kristoff shook his head and turned his back on the Snow Queen while running a hand through his already messy blonde hair. He then whipped back around and tried to keep his voice down while saying, "Elsa you are being incredibly stubborn! She does not want to talk to us about what just happened. She does not want us to comfort her. She is working through her own issues." Looking deeply into her eyes he finished with, "We already let her know that we are here for her and we are not going to leave her. That is all we can do. The rest is up to her."
"That is not good enough." Elsa growled back looking into his brown eyes, "Who knows what she is planning next. Who knows what she is thinking now? How do we know that as soon as we get back to Arendelle she will not take off again?" Before he could respond she held up a hand to silence him and continued, "She told me that all of this was her fault. I cannot just sit by and let her think that."
Again just as he was about to speak, Elsa turned her back on him and walked cautiously over to her sister. Kristoff sighed furiously and sat down by Sven and Olaf, "So you are not going over there?" The snowman asked.
Kristoff shook his head as Sven nudged his friend with his antlers. Kristoff looked at his friend and gave the reason, "Because I guess it is up to them now. I said my peace at the palace. Anna seemed to have forgiven me and now it is her turn to forgive Elsa and herself."
"So then that means you know what Anna's pride problem is?" Olaf asked the ice harvester curiously.
"Isn't it obvious?" Kristoff asked as he motioned with his head to the two sisters in the clearing. Olaf and Sven shook their heads, so Kristoff sat back and explained. As he was explaining he was watching the two sisters, and he prayed that they would reconcile soon so he could have his family back.
As Elsa approached the clearing, she once again had a whole little speech planned in her head as to what she was going to say to her sister. However when looking her little sister, that whole speech went out the window. So before she could say anything her sister spoke up first, "You know it is ironic don't you think?"
"Eh…what is?" Elsa asked knowing that even Anna was not looking at her; the question was direct towards her way.
Anna and Pharis both snorted, "I was the one always seeking you out, and you slammed doors in my face. I race up the north mountain to bring you home, you set Marshmallow on us. Now here we are and the roles are reversed. I am like slamming doors in your face, and yet you keep returning. I run away to the north mountain, and yet you follow." The tone Anna used was not harsh; however it was not gentle either. It was as if she was stating facts that she read in a book; completely casual, yet Elsa winced anyway.
Deciding to follow some of Kristoff's advice, she did not have Anna elaborate any further. She did look at the stallion and decided that Anna's more pleasant and slightly happy/normal demeanor came from him. So she sighed and said, "Rather interesting name he has. Did you think of it or did he come with it?" Elsa motioned to the horse in question as Anna now looked at her curiously.
Elsa could feel Anna's eyes analyzing her, almost as if trying to decipher the motive behind the question. Seeing nothing, she looked at Pharis who also looked at her. Elsa found it slightly unnerving as if it looked like they were having a silent conversation; that is until Anna responded with, "I named him."
"Oh that is cool," Elsa winced at the bad pun, so did Anna in fact as she tried to hide a smirk, "any particular reason for that name?"
Anna smiled as she looked at her horse, "The name actually comes from one of my favorite books I liked to read when I was younger. Pharis is one of the main characters in the story and he is a heroic archer. So that is what I decided on calling him." Anna explained as she pet his nose affectionately.
Elsa nodded and decided to keep going with this route about talking about the horse, "Uhm…the morning after you ah…took off…Daniel came in and told us that Pharis was missing." Anna stopped petting the horse and looked at her sister who stumbled over her words…much like she did when she was nervous. Somehow this unnerved her as Elsa tried to continue with her question, "Anyway he mentioned that you tamed him yourself. How did that happen exactly?"
Anna did not answer right away and Pharis was also looking at the Queen suspiciously. He let out what Elsa suspected was a type of growl; however this caused Anna to look sharply at him, "Hey. Relax ok. It's fine." She pet him gently and he gave her a look, "Be nice." Anna said sternly. He shook his head and then led it down on his hooves.
Turning back to her sister she said, "Sorry, he has a slight attitude problem when he thinks people are digging into something they shouldn't."
"So I offended him?" Elsa asked raising an eyebrow looking at the horse. She never saw such a creature with highly developed intelligence, as this one.
"In a matter of speaking, he still doesn't like to be reminded of the past." Anna said looking at her companion, "It was not really a good time when he came to our family; hence the major trust issues."
"Oh…" Elsa said sadly, but then she looked at Anna, "But he let me ride him a few times back there." She motioned to the direction of where the ice palace stood.
"You heard about that huh?" Anna asked groaning.
Elsa looked at her sister, "I tried to get to know you better when Daniel, Kai, and Gerda mentioned how close you are to Pharis. I am sorry if it is not my business."
Anna waved her off, "No it's actually ok. I am just surprised you did not hear about any of that is all."
"Being locked in a room tends to make you drown out the events happening around you." Elsa said as a response, although she internally winced seeing the grimace on Anna's face.
Once Anna composed herself, she shrugged and responded, "I suppose it would."
Elsa took notice of her sister's hair in the early sunset and she could see that her hair was almost back to normal. However she knew that despite the physical appearance might be the same, there was still the emotional problem of her sister's 'frozen heart'. Elsa just remained quiet as they allowed their words to settle around them. Now it was time to take Kristoff's other advice and allow her sister to open up on her own. She allowed herself to sit down once she was sure that she was not going be sent away nor was she suffocating her sister and the horse.
Anna sighed. She did not know what made her speak, but just looking at her sister made her want to open up just a bit. Besides it was not like Elsa was asking for much, "If I remember correctly, Pharis was given to father as a gift from one of our allies or something like that." It did not go unnoticed by Elsa how Anna talked about their father with slight distain, however there was an underlying tone of pain as well, "Anyway the stable hands had tried to tame him, but Pharis was not having any of it. I had overheard father say that if they would not be able to tame Pharis, then we would have put him down."
Elsa watched as Anna's expression became furious and devastated. She then looked at the horse in question and noticed how he had begun to shake, to which in response Anna immediately petted him, "Anyway I had heard about it, and fought with father about his decision. I had wanted to try taming him."
"How? You were only ten." Elsa said astounded not being able to get the picture of her ten year old sister taming such a wild horse.
Anna rolled her eyes, "There you go again. Underestimating me. Really sis?"
"Sorry, please continue." Elsa said wincing as her sister's dark blue eyes gleamed in the sun.
Anna shook her head trying to clear it of the rising annoyance she felt, "Sorry, that was uncalled for."
"No really it is ok. I was out of line." Elsa said earnestly trying to ease her sister's feelings.
They sat in silence for a bit, waiting to see who would be the one to start up the conversation again. However Elsa could tell that her sister was either shutting off again or she was loss in the past somewhere. Before Elsa could try and break it again, Anna finally broke it first, "I was never good in my classes." Elsa looked at her sister in confusion, "I was not an academic like you were. However that did not mean I did not like to read."
Anna became quiet again, and Elsa started to wonder what this had to do with Pharis's fate, "I was in the library when I had seen you for the first time since you-I-uhm…" Anna paused again and took a deep breath, "we were well…separated. I wanted to approach you, but it hurt Elsa. I mean I had stopped knocking on your door by that point." Elsa winced as she knew around the time Anna stopped knocking. It had hurt too much to even begin to think about, "So I had ran. I ran from the library before you even noticed I was there. Normally I would have hidden in the portrait gallery, but I just needed to get out of the palace. It was a prison for me Elsa, a real prison. That is how I found myself at the stables and I overheard the conversation…father was going to have Pharis put down the next day if they could not tame him…"
Elsa watched as Anna once again started to pet Pharis, he sighed heavily as Anna continued, "After I saw everyone leaving the stables, I began ranting to him about everything. Everything that had begun with us being best friends, to you shutting me out to which I had not even a clue. Well now I know and he also knows about that too, so that is why he is also mad at you and doesn't really take too kindly to you. I mean it's not like he takes kindly to strangers, and he loves me. I am the only one allowed to take care of him, because well I saved him, and he trusts me and…wait what?"
Elsa would have laughed, in fact she was kind of laughing internally at Anna's sidetracked rant because this is how her sister should be. However once she really processed Anna's words that is when the internal merriment stopped, "You ran to the stables and uhm…vented to Pharis." Elsa said gently as she saw confusion on Anna's face.
"Oh right. Thank you. Yes well after the venting I started pleading to Pharis to be nice. I told him not everyone here was bad and I would prove it to him. So I opened his stall and-"
"Wait hold on; I do not understand." Elsa deadpanned. Anna winced as she remembered that her sister used the same tone when she had told her of the dreaded engagement, "You mean to tell me that you went into a stall of a horse that had not even been broken?"
Pharis's head jerked up and Elsa could swear that if looks could kill, the horse would have killed her already, "Ok uhm…let's refrain from using the 'b' word ok? He tolerates 'tame' not the other word…" Anna explained, "However yes I did. And at first it was a bit scary because he did rear back and tried to well crush me…" Pharis stopped glaring at the queen and looked sorrowfully at his companion, "but all I did was stay in one place, looked away, and held up my hand. He had calmed down a bit, sniffed it, and well next thing I knew I was petting the 'untamable' horse." Anna finished proudly while crossing her arms.
Elsa just looked at her sister, she was still confused at not understanding what had taken place, "That is it?"
"Yup." Anna said popping the 'p', "I showed him trust and no ill-will, besides the stall door was opened and if he wanted to run, I would have let him run." She again looked at Pharis, "That night I stayed in the stables and we or rather I talked. I told him everything about the castle and about everyone again. Then in the morning I was found. It was hilarious, because father demanded that I get out but I said no."
"You what?!"
"Yup, I defied father. I told him I was not leaving unless we kept Pharis. He did not like that tried to order one of the guards to come get me, but Pharis would not let any of them near the stall or to me." Anna said laughing, "Not even father could get close enough to get me."
Elsa just stared at her sister like she had five heads, "You defied Papa?!"
"Yup." Anna said popping the 'p' again, "I told him that if he wanted me out then we would practice the skills I learned in negotiation class one-oh-one."
"What?" Elsa asked still marveling in the fact of her sister's sassiness.
Anna paused thinking for a moment and said slowly, "I believe my exact words were…" She paused again and then winced as she stole a glance at her sister.
Elsa, upon seeing the wince, reached out and hesitantly grabbed her sister's hand. She could feel the strawberry blonde tense up and was sure she was going to pull away, however nothing could describe the multiple feelings that went through her heart when Anna actually squeezed back, "What did you say?" Elsa asked quietly, trying not to ruin the moment.
Anna looked at Pharis and he gave her a nod. She sighed again and said, "I told him that from where I stood he had a few options. The first option was he could allow me to keep Pharis and he would be my responsibility. The second option was that he could allow me to see you," Anna looked away at Elsa as she sighed through her nose this time and then said something barely above a whisper.
It was so quiet that Elsa did not pick it up, "I am sorry Anna, what was that?"
"I said that his third option was that he could force you to see me and explain what your deal was and why we were not friends or sisters anymore. Those were his three and only three options." Anna said looking at her older sister, "So since the other two involved you, he had no choice but to accept the first option. After that I was grounded for a bit, and later I learned to take care of him. I went learned from the other stable hands how to take care of a horse…I also read a few books on the subject as well." She smiled at that part while petting the horse fondly.
Elsa just watched as her sister and the horse bonded some more. She could not help, but feel like she was an intruder on their moment, "Hey Elsa?"
"Uhm…yea?" She asked looking at her sister.
"How many times have you actually ridden a horse?" Anna asked.
Elsa thought for a moment and looked away, "This has been the most times I have actually 'ridden'. The first time was on mother's horse when we had to take to you to the trolls…" Elsa trailed off and she watched as Anna looked away, "The second time was when I was taken back to Arendelle. And the remainder of the times was with you." She added lightly and added what she hoped to be was a reassuring smile.
Anna lightly returned it, but then it fell as she stood up from Pharis and her sister. Pharis remained on the ground, seemingly asleep, as Elsa followed her sister and got up herself, "Anna, please talk to me."
"How can you I do not know…" Anna started to say, but then trailed off.
"How can I what?" Elsa asked gently, not wanting to scare her sister off.
"That!" Anna yelled while turning to point at her, "Be all that!"
"You just gestured to all of me…" Elsa stated flatly.
"Yea because that is what I mean! How can you be so understanding? So calm? So collected? So you?!"
"Again with the gesturing…Anna come on you are my sister. I know a bit what you are going through. I am calm on the outside, but on the inside I am freaking out right now, and as for me? Well I am your older sister so I have the right to try and protect you and keep you safe, but I am not even doing that right." Elsa explained her voice becoming firmer by the minute.
"You do not have to protect me! It is me who should be protecting you from me!" Anna stated again.
"What are you-"
"Just saying what I tried to say at the ice palace," Anna said cutting her off, "Everything was my fault because I was stupid and selfish! I wanted you to build that snowman! I woke you up for a stupid request! Just because I could not sleep! I made you use your powers that night! I made you try and catch me! I did not listen when you said to slow down, so therefore the accident? It was my fault! I caused it, not you! I ruined our bond." Anna stated bitterly, "I was the one that forced you into that self-induced exile for those years."
"Anna, it was not-" Elsa tried to cut in.
"No Elsa it was. Now let's keep adding to the list shall we? You wanted me to open up? Well this is me opening up. As for those years, I was again selfish. I just wanted to spend time with you, however I was blinded to see that you were also in pain. I was causing you that pain. I was probably also the reason you never had control of you powers sooner, because you probably kept worrying about hurting me again." Anna said once again her tone laced with self-hate, "And then at the coronation, I pushed you. I pushed Hans on you. I made you lose control, because I was so stubborn in my own happiness that I failed to see the pain you were in. I never let you explain, and had I talked to you in private like you wanted, none of that would have happened…"
Elsa wanted to stop her sister. She was thinking about that all wrong, and she wanted to tell Anna that more than likely she was just a ticking time bomb waiting to blow up by that point, however she could see that Anna needed this so she allowed her to continue, "And at the ice palace, the first time, I should not have pushed you again. You told me that you were not safe, and I should have been the one to bring you back. I should not have left you there. If I would have stayed…if I would have tried and gone back to you, then Hans and his men would not have attacked you…" By this point Anna was in tears…tears of sadness, guilt, and anger.
Elsa could not take it anymore. She went over to Anna and wrapped her arms around her little sister…something she should have been able to do for the last thirteen years. However Anna pushed her away and yelled, "How can you even consider comforting me when I just told you that I am guilty for everything?! How?!"
"BECAUSE NOT EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT!" Elsa finally yelled.
This caused Kristoff, Olaf, Sven, and Pharis to jump and for Anna just to stare back mouth dropped. Snow started falling and swirling around them, before it became suspended in mid-air, "I was eight! I should have known better than a five year old about what we should and should not have been doing! I should have stopped you sooner from jumping off those damned mounds! As for the whole locked and slammed doors?! Papa and Mama both tried to convince me to see you! Anna, you think my problem was just with you?! It was with them too! I couldn't even HUG our own parents!"
Now everyone was at full attention. Anna's mouth was hanging open and she could barely make out Kristoff, Olaf, and Sven's hesitant approach to them, however Elsa did not notice as she continued to rant, "As for that throne stealing bastard; that was again partially my fault because I had not showed you what love really looked like! I was too busy worrying about my powers to even begin to see what you needed! It was my fault that I was not there for you after Papa and Mama died, you should not have had any of those burdens! If I had been there for you, perhaps you would not have sought comfort in that bastard!"
Elsa was starting to run out of steam by this point as the suspended snow started to fall gently once more. Elsa looked at her sister now, dead in the eyes, and with her finger pointing right at her, "And you know what? As for me losing control? That was not your fault either. After suppressing my powers for thirteen years, I was essentially a bomb waiting to explode ok? Who the hell knows? I could have gone off on anyone! Kai, Gerda, you, or hell even some stuck up snooty ass prissy lord or duke! Anyone could have set me off like that!"
"But Elsa-"
"No Anna, no more ok? Perhaps yes you are to blame, however you cannot harbor all of it." Elsa said gently this time, "I learned that the hard way, and I will be damned if I let you fall into that too."
Elsa could now see Anna's white streaks fully disappearing. The only one that remained was the lone streak that had been there since the accident when they were younger. Elsa smiled sadly and opened her arms and Anna fell right into them. They still had a ways to go, and while their old bond seemed damaged, this was only the start of something new.
A/N: Do not worry, this is not the end just yet. I may have one or two more left, then an epilogue or something like that. Again any questions, comment, or concerns just PM me. Otherwise hope this was satisfies.
