(Three weeks later...)
— Here you go, buddy...Tony gently said, helping Tim enter his apartment.
— Tony...you don't have to come with me to all my appointments, they have taxi companies that can help.
— No way, Timmy, if I don't, they'll probably send you a fat guy tired of his job who's gonna make you fall from his vehicle because he's too bored to carry you, and then all NCIS Agents are gonna kick my ass for having let the hospital take care of your travels. And today is a special day, isn't it.
— You have way too much imagination, Tony...
— Yeah...he smiled, that's an actor thing, you know, I've always been very creative.
— Why am I not surprised...Tim rolled his eyes and briefly stared at the ceiling.
— Hey, you prefer having Ziva watching your steps, telling you how hard life is in Israël, and forcing you to do abs while you're still in recovery ?
— Ah-ah...
— Or what about Ducky or Palmer, both telling you stories about a faraway kingdom producing Bourbon until late in the night, while your painkillers are not strong enough to make you sleep...
— Oh shut up, Tony, at least I'm pretty sure that Ducky is moving faster than I do. But you're talking as much as he does, now...he finally sighed, clumsily touching the armchair of his seat before slowy starting sitting down, feeling again that awful sensation, remembering it had been where he'd been tied up that very first time.
— Alright, Tony chuckled, if you aren't happy with my stories, then we can call Gibbs, believe me, he'll be extremely glad to not say anything, as us...
— No ! I don't want to s...
Tony immediately stopped making fun of the situation and refocused on his friend. McGee had turned paler than he was already, one of his fists clenched.
— McGee...? Sorry, I didn't want to... Did I say something wrong ?
— No, Tony, I just...need to be left alone, that's all. Tomorrow I'll be on desk duties, and...
— Hey, you've heard Vance, it's only if you're ready. You've got plenty of time. No need to rush.
— I'm good, Tony, I...I just need things to go back to normal.
His friend bit his lips and took several looks around the place, wondering if he should give him some privacy or stay a bit longer... Tim was getting better, at least physically, and as much as he needed support, it was quite obvious that he deserved some time for himself, even if not for the best. Days in that awful place, then at the hospital...then a few more with him, and now...the D-day. McGee at home, about to work again. But could really things go back to normal ? Probably not.
— I'm only gonna take that painkiller and lie down, Tony, nothing spectacular. I'll sleep...then tomorrow I'll wake up and head to NCIS.
— You'll have your phone with you ? Anything you might need close enough from your bed to be caught ?
— Yes, Tony, if I need anything I can still use my voice and fing...
Tim suddenly took a look at his hands. There was no need, for sure, for them to be healing anymore, but still...there was this constant memory, yeah, he could perfectly remember...
— Calling someone, Agent McGee ? You just arrived, and you already want to leave ? Well, I really do not appreciate my visitors trying to sneak out...
— ...Aaaaah !
— Hey, McGee.
— Uh ? he seemed terrified.
— They're okay. Your fingers are perfect.
Tim took a second look at his pair of hands, watching their ten bones with indescribable worries, his thoughts flying away from where he currently was, far, far away... Tony approached him and put a palm on his shoulder, trying to make the living nightmares go away for a little while, and mostly to be supportive.
— I can stay tonight, McGee. Really. I don't mind.
— And again, I don't need anyone, Tim seemed to be loosing patience, although he was truly doing everything to hide his emotions. Look, I'm taking it right now.
Tim grabbed the pill he was supposed to take every evening and looked for a glass of water somewhere in the kitchen, Tony walking right behind him in case he'd fall...he turned the tap on and watched the water join the bottom of the recipient, finally swallowing his medicine before grabbing the now full glass.
The fresh liquid touched his lips as his treatment reached the end of his throat, and he then slowly turned back in Tony's direction, showing him how independent this small action should look.
— You see ? I managed.
— Congratulations, Timmy, you want a reward for that ? he tried to keep the conversation funny.
— I'll pass, thanks. Now I'm just gonna go to bed.
Tony sighed and observed his teammate rejoin his bedroom and bed, wondering if he was taking the good decision...
McGee was a big boy...wasn't he ?
— Alright, McSick... You see ? McGeek, McSick...he uselessly chuckled. It rhymes, he added while shaking his phone between fingers, sensing how embarrassing the situation was becoming. Alright, Tim, I...you know what, just call me...if you need.
— I will, Tim revealed a weak, but gentle smile.
— Okay. Bye.
— Bye, Tony.
— Bye...McGee.
Tony finally closed the door and walked into the corridor, and Tim waited to be sure he was completely alone to put two fingers inside his mouth. He got rid of the slightly humid medicine and put it somewhere on his cupboard. He'd take it tomorrow, when there'd be real need for it, when he'd be too busy to think about anything else and deserving to hide the pain momentarily. Even desk duties were meaning something. That was work.
He completely lied down onto his bed and freed the sounds of someone suffering from numerous pains, physical and psychological, knowing it was still easier to be busy feeling how it hurt rather than face unlimited, fearful silence.
So much time in that awful place...and still, it hadn't been that long, compared to what others had been through during other missions in the past. But still, it hadn't been a very big problem out there, he had been too busy trying to survive...but now he was alone in that quiet apartment, knowing he'd nicely go to work the next morning.
Too quiet...too normal. Only the pain to make him forget about anything else.
But maybe he was deserving it, after all. Well, he had never really believed in karma, but he had been the one sent in that terrible space after he had traced himself someone in order to kill him. So many people killed. Not only one criminal.
And it had almost been his turn... Yes, maybe he deserved to feel the pain.
To suffer.
To die.
