Chapter 9

The next time I remember waking it, it was already morning. I was still in Buck's cabin, in his bed, I still hurt like hell, but for some reason I was completely comfortable. It took me a minute to realize it was because I was being lovingly held in Buck's arms. I can feel his warm body pressed to my side, his breath against my neck, stirring my hair. I knew he was still sleeping. I really didn't want to wake him up but I wanted to be able to see his face, so as carefully as I could I tried to turn towards him. I hadn't planned on the pain this small movement would cause my ribs. I cursed softly under my breath, but it was enough to wake Buck.

I watched as his eyes focused on my face. He gave me a sleepy smile, before his features clouded over in worry by the pain that was evident on my face. He got up as carefully as he could to get me some more medicine. Helping me sit so I could swallow it and the water he handed me. "Thanks Buck." I say after I handed him back the glass of water. "Do you need anything else? Is there anything I can do to help?" Buck asks truly wanting to do anything he can to make me more comfortable. I bite my lip, knowing that the only thing that could make me more comfortable at the moment was a chamber pot, but I absolutely refused to allow Buck to help me with that. But Buck being Buck he knew what I needed. "I'll go get Rachel." He said before hurrying out the door, in nothing but a pair of pants.

Rachel came in a few minutes later while Buck stayed outside and helped me. She had also brought with her a nightgown for me to wear and a basin of water to help me freshen up. I was very grateful for that. I know I probably smelled like a horse, considering I hadn't bathed since before I was almost crushed by one. After she left with the promise of returning with some breakfast Buck came back in. He walked over to his dresser and pulled out a shirt to put on. I was disappointed; I rather liked looking at him, not that I would ever tell him that.

Watching Buck, I saw the same determined look I had seen last night on his face. I knew he wanted to say something to me, but for some reason he was waiting. I realized he was waiting for Rachel to get back with breakfast and leave. Whatever it was he wanted to say to me, he didn't want to be interrupted. Trying to make small talk while we waited for Rachel I asked, "What are your plans for today Buck?" He looks at me and smiles, "I plan on staying right here with you Lou. Somebody has to make sure you don't try to get out of that bed yet." I just smile and shake my head, "Don't worry Buck I'm not about to try to do that, I feel like I was almost crushed by a horse. Oh wait I was almost crushed by a horse." I give him a cheesy grin as he busts out laughing. I know I put his mind at ease.

Rachel finally returns with a tray of food. There is food for both me and Buck on it. She sits the tray down on the table and tells Buck, that she would be in the house if we needed anything and that some of his hands were out there trying to break in my horse. Teaspoon was watching them. She gives me a wink before she leaves. "You must have your ranch hands trained well Buck, you don't even have to give them orders and they do what needs to be done." Buck gives me that easy grin of his, "At first I couldn't get them to do anything, even after I ordered them, they didn't care too much about taking orders from a half-breed, but eventually I earned their respect by working just as hard as them, and never asking them to do something I wasn't willing to do, and with Teaspoon's help. Now they know what I expect of them and they do it without being told. They are a good group of guys and I count them as friends, but they aren't family like our friends from the Pony Express were." "I don't think anybody can be family like them Buck, all of us were one of a kind." I say laughing, which just makes my ribs hurt. Buck smirks, but then turns serious. I know he is fixing to start the conversation he had been putting off.


Buck's POV

I loved talking to Lou; she could always take my mind off of things and make me laugh when I didn't feel like it. I loved her. Even as banged up and bruised as she is right now, she is still the most beautiful woman in the world to me. I have to tell her. I can't tell her. Teaspoon's right, I'm a coward, No I'm NOT. I can do this. I have to do this. I take a deep breath and gather my courage. "Lou there is something I need to tell you, and please don't say anything until I'm finished." I pause she gives me a nod. Ok here it goes. "I know you may not believe this but it's the honest truth. Lou I love you. I have loved you from the very beginning. I knew you were with the Kid, that's why I never said anything, but I've never stopped loving you. I know I have no business asking you this. I know you just lost Kid. But I have to know. Is there any possibility that you could return my feelings? That you could consider becoming my wife. Don't say anything yet. I want you to think really hard about this. Remember Lou, I'm a social outcast. I don't belong in the white world, and I don't belong in the Kiowa world. I fit nowhere. I have faced nothing but hatred and cruelty and bigotry my entire life. The only place I found love was with you, Ike, Emma, Rachel, Teaspoon, and the boys. If I marry, my wife will face that same life, any children we have will face that. I want you to really think about what I'm asking of you Lou. But know this, whatever answer you give me, I will always love you and be here for you no matter what."


Lou's POV

I sit and silently listen as Buck pours out his heart. It was exactly as I told Rachel. Buck was afraid that I wouldn't want to subject myself to a life with him because of what people would think. I didn't care what people thought, they could all go to hell for all I cared. All I cared about was the man sitting with me now, pouring his heart and soul out to me. The man I loved more than anything in this world. The man I would gladly go to Hell and back for. I bite my tongue to keep for interrupting him. I know what my decision is; I don't have to think long and hard about it. I knew what it would be the moment I realized I was in love with Buck. When he finally finished talking there are tears in his eyes and in mine. Taking his hand in mine I rest it over my heart, "You fit right here Buck. You always have, always will, no matter what people may say, what they may think, or what they may do. I love you; nothing will ever change that fact. Nor will the fact change that I have wanted to be your wife from the moment I found you again. I've always loved you too Buck, I just didn't realize it at the time. I wished I had, you have no idea how much I wished I had. It would have saved us both a lot of heartache." Watching his face after I had said all that, I see him processing it. He smiles at me and gets down on one knee by the bed, "I guess I should at least do this properly, even if I don't have a ring to give you right now. Louise McCloud will you do me the honor of becoming my bride?" I knew I was grinning like an idiot when I said yes, but Buck's grin matched my own right before he kissed me. While Buck had always been reserved in his behavior there was nothing reserved about that kiss. In it was every bit of passion and love he felt for me, and my kiss answered in kind. We didn't break apart until we absolutely had to in order to get air. I couldn't wait for my ribs and shoulder to heal so I could really show Buck how much I loved him.


Buck's POV

She said yes. I couldn't believe it. I kissed her with every bit of love and passion I felt for her, the kiss Lou gave me in return was identical. I refused to break that kiss until I absolutely had to in order to breath. I couldn't wait for Lou's ribs and shoulder to heal so we could marry and I could really show her how much I loved her.