Hi all, Thanks so much to everyone that has reviewed and read last sacrifice, I hope that you are enjoying the story as much as I am enjoying writing it.

Lissa and I discussed everything that had been happening at court since the Queen had been murdered.

"There have been loads of rumours going around about you Rose," she told me in her quite serious voice. " Some people have been saying that they believe that you killed her, they seem to think that because you didn't get on that you would murder her in cold blood. They forget about all the good things that you have ever done."

I could feel a rage beginning to build up in her through the bond and quickly sucked it out of her, I saw her visibly relax as the blackness went from her and into me. I would have chance later on to work it off.

"Most people have stuck by you though, and agree that there is no way that you would ever do such a think. They agree that you are reckless at times but they have also said that you would be willing to die to save them."

I allowed myself a small smile at this, I had an idea just who my biggest supporter would be, Adrian. He had been willing to do anything for me including being disowned from his family. Although I had feelings for him I realised now that they were the kind of feelings that you would have for a good friend and not those of a lover.

"I can just imagine that it has been Adrian who has been the person who has been the loudest in showing his support of me."

Lissa shoulders slumped a little at his name as though she had a great weight placed on them.

"No it hasn't been Adrian, don't get me wrong he is on your side a hundred percent and will do anything that he possibly can to prove your innocence. It has been Dimitri who has been your most staunch supporter, he has been speaking to everyone that he knows to try and find out if anyone saw anyone coming or going from your room in the few nights leading up to the murder."

To say that I was shocked by this was a gross misunderstanding, Why? Why would he even be bothered, in fact if anything I would of imagined that it would have made his life a lot less complicated if he didn't have to see me at every turn.

I pushed the thoughts of him far from my mind and looked at Lissa, there was worry etched into every line of her face.

"What is it Lissa, what is causing you so much concern?"

"Adrian."

With just that one word I knew what she was going to tell me before the words left her mouth and the concern and guilt that I felt for leading him on returned ten fold.

"Why? What has he been doing?"

"He is drinking more than before and I think that he is using medication that would never be prescribed by any kind of doctor. He isn't taking care of himself at all and I can feel him becoming reckless with his spirit. It is as though he has given up hope."

My heart sank thinking that it was me that had done this to him when I told him that I didn't want to be with him. I wanted him to get back to the fun carefree Adrian that he had always been,

"Lissa, is it what I have done to him? I wish that I could feel differently for him but I cant. I tried to love him but it just wasn't as strong as his feelings for me and it would have been unfair of me to continue doing that to him."

"Its not you. I have discussed this with Christian and also with his parents and we think that it is a delayed reaction to the death of Tatiana, He seemed to be coping so well with all that had happened until the funeral, when they brought out the coffin and took it through the Royal Court in the open topped carriage I could see him beginning to crumple."

Tears began to flow down Lissas pale face as she continued

" I thought that he was managing with his grief until they buried her and I have never seen a look of such anguish on one persons face. I know that we thought of her as a bitch but she was the only person in that whole damn family who accepted him for who he was. She never tried to change him or judge him like his parents. She loved him and was always there for him and now she has gone and he has no one to turn to again."

"So what is going to be done about it?"

"I have discussed it in great detail with his mother as his father appears to be so detached even though he loves his son in his own way and it has been decided that if there is no improvement after tomorrow he will be sent to a Detoxification and rehabilitation centre in Las Vegas that are run by humans but cater specifically for Moroi with this kind of problem."

"I'm glad that Nathan has agreed to that, something needs to be done."

"I agree, even I was getting concerned about him."

We continued to discuss random things until Lissa brought up the topic of Dimitris family.

"I met Olena and Viktoria, I understand now why you felt so comfortable with them."

"I love them Liss, they made me feel as though I was part of their family straight away and even though I had come to bring them bad news they always made me feel loved."

"Olena loves you, she would walk to the ends of the earth if it meant that she was helping you."

I smiled as I recalled how Olena had screamed at my mother for how she had spoken to me.

"I love them so much, they made me see what a family should be like, the accepted me in and never judged me. The showed me that I was wanted and could never be a burden and they accepted the fact that Dimitri and I had been together."

"They are some of the most special people that I have met, they are so easy to talk to and confide in. I have found myself talking about my parents and about Andre. They have never made me feel as though I am some freaky side show just to be stared at because of who I am."

I grinned at her description of the Belikovs, everything that she had said was the truth and I was so glad that they were here.

We were interrupted by a knock on the door. Opening it I was greeted by a smiling Christian.

"Rose, its good to have you back, I've missed having you around although if you ever decide to repeat that I will have no doubts about setting fire to your ass."

I smiled back reluctant to admit that I had missed him too. I didn't want to give him any ammunition to be able to use against me in a war of words.

"Yeah Yeah fire boy. Only when you think you're big and hard enough"

I could hear Lissa chuckling behind me as she listened to our exchange. She alone knows me well enough to know that the sarcasm that spews from my mouth is designed to hide the true meaning of the words.

"What are you doing here anyway?"

"I've come to get Lissa, we have been asked to attend a meeting with some of the more prominent Royals to decide what to do about the arrangement that was made with Tatiana about Lissa staying here and going to Leigh."

I look at him in confusion.

"Now that Tatiana is no longer here they need to discuss whether this is still the correct thing to do for Lissa, Aunt Tasha is going to meet us with them and discuss the possibility of me going with her now due to the fact that things have changed so much since graduation."

The same bolt of jealousy that I felt when I saw Tasha and Dimitri together when I left the courthouse house shot through me at the thought of her now helping Lissa, I know that it is unreasonable but I felt as though she was taking away from me everything that was important. The rage that I had felt earlier began again to bubble and roll within me.

I knew that the rage was out of control and irrational due to the amount of darkness that I had been taking from Lissa.

She had been using and practising spirit more and more with Adrian while I had been incarcerated. She had been desperate to learn how to dream walk so that she could visit me that way as I had requested that I have no visitors. They had also been learning more about charming and infusing objects with different aspects of spirit from healing and compulsion to making it so that whoever was wearing the object would appear to the outside world as someone totally different.

I heard a throat clear and focused back again on Lissa and Christian, they were both looking at me with concern and I realised that I must have drifted off slightly.

I gave them both an embarrassed smile and told them to go to the meeting as I knew that it was vital to Lissas future.

"I'll be back afterwards Rose."

Once Lissa had left I decided that the time had come for me to begin training again. I had lapsed badly and was hoping that sparring with someone would allow me an outlet for the anger, upset, rage and hurt without causing someone serious pain.

I changed from my trusted pyjamas into a tight white tank top and loose draw string yoga pants. I knew that I was going to have to start from the beginning and build myself up as the clothes felt baggy on my already slim frame.

I made my way over to the training area that had been built especially for the courts guardians so that they could stay in peak physical fitness.

I decided to follow the regime that Dimitri had first set out for me at the academy. I began my warm up stretches and set off at a slow jog around the large running track. I had set myself a target of fifteen laps knowing that this would be more than plenty, I didn't want to be exhausted before I got into the gym to begin sparring with Alexander.

On my third lap I felt it. The connection that has always affected me when Dimitri was near. I t was not like the bond that I had with Lissa just a deep awareness of when he was near.

I glanced up in time just to see Tasha wrapping her arms around him. I knew that he felt the connection and the awareness too as he chose that moment to look up. Confused warm chocolate brown eyes lifted and met hurt, angry brown ones.

Tasha hadn't noticed that I was there and stood to whisper something in his ear, my heart sank and I did the only thing I could do I turned and ran. I couldn't take any more and needed to get away quickly from what I was seeing.

I pushed myself beyond all of my physical limits, I had to get away from seeing them together like that, seeing her touching him when I couldn't was more than I could realistically take. I thought that I was stronger and that I would be able to cope with it but I realised that where Dimitri is concerned I would always be weak.

I heard footsteps pounding behind me and I pushed myself harder and harder, I had to get away. I automatically assumed it was Alexander and knew that he would understand my reluctance to face anyone at the moment, I began to slow, panting for breath when a pair of strong muscular arms encircled me from from behind. I opened my mouth ready to scream out in shock and terror. I tried to fight but the arms were too strong and managed to restrain me easily.

"Don't fight me Roza"

I froze in shock, Dimitri was the one person that I least expected to have chased after me. I mean why would he? Why would he care that I had seen them together? If anything I would have thought that it would have made it easier for him.

"DO. NOT. CALL. ME. THAT!" I seethed through clenched teeth. The rage that I had been holding back erupted from me. "You gave up every right to use that nickname."

I struggled against him, trying to free myself but my weakened state made it impossible, even when I had been at full strength I had always struggled to get away from him.

He loosened his iron hold slightly so that it was possible to turn me so that I was facing him. My back was up against the wall and he effectively had me trapped.

"Roza please listen to me. I want to explain to you about Tasha, although I don't understand why I feel the need to."

He looked almost angry as he said the words and this ignited the furious rage that had been boiling just under the surface rendering my internal brain filter totally useless.

"I said don't fucking call me that! Why would I really care why you feel that you have to explain to me what is going on between you and her. Why would I want to listen to all the reason why she can be a part of your life and I cant. You have made your feelings for me perfectly clear and I have to learn to live with that and move on with my life which I keep on trying to do."

I had reached boiling point now and I couldn't help the rage and hurt that came pouring out of my mouth, I didn't care if what I said hurt him. I was beyond all reason.

"You go ahead and do whatever the hell you want with her. Go and run off with her and give her babies, I don't care any more! You have hurt me too much now to feel anything any more. I'm sorry for everything that you are going through but I have to say it now. I wish that you had killed me when."

"Dont ever say that! Roza what an earth would posses you to even say such a thing. You are needed here by so many people. Why would you want that?"

"Because if I was dead then maybe I wouldn't be feeling like this. Maybe I wouldn't hurt so much."

I looked down as I whispered the last words unwilling to see the pity and rejection in his eyes,

"I'm sorry Roza, I never ever meant to hurt you like this. Every time I close my eyes all I can see is the things I did as Strigoi and I will regret those things for the rest of my life. Innocent people died because of me and that is something that I will always remember. The thing that hurts me the most and what I will regret with my every breath for the rest of my life is what I did to you. The things I did can never be forgiven. I know that I was Strigoi but I also knew what I was doing and that hurts beyond your comprehension."

I finally lifted my eyes to meet his, seeing no rejection there only pain and regret for what he had done. I sighed, I had to get away from him before the tears that I had been holding began to fall.

"What you are doing to me now is worse than anything you ever did to me as Strigoi. You have broken me Dimitri."

I pushed against him but his arms tightened around me holding me prisoner against his hard body.

He gazed down at me a look of hunger in his eyes reminiscent of the one that he had held when he was Strigoi. I found myself captivated and unable to look away.

With a groan of defeat he lowered his face to mine.

His lips touched mine softly at first and I couldn't hold back the gasp that pushed passed my lips as I felt his mouth move against mine once more. His tongue swept along the seem of my closed lips asking for permission to deepen the kiss and with a sigh I opened my mouth allowing him entrance.

I was totally overcome with sensation as he ran his tongue around the inside of my mouth, tasting and reacquainting himself with the contours. All rational thoughts and arguments flew from my mind as my tongue began to move against his in a dance that was as old as time.

He pushed me roughly up against the wall and the feel of the cold brick hitting my overheated skin was enough to jolt me back to reality. I pulled my mouth away from his kiss and using all the strength that I could muster pulled my arm back and slapped him harder than I thought possible.

"How fucking dare you!" I spat at him "How dare you put me through hell, tell me that you have given up on us and that your love has faded and to move on with my life, stay away from me and look at me with such disgust. How dare you kiss me!"

"Roza..."

"Don't even try Comrade," I shouted using the old nickname that I had for him. "I'm not interested in anything that you have to say any more and if you think that one kiss is going to take everything away and make everything okay then you are sadly mistaken. Now, get away from me!"

Dimitri jerked away from me, surprise evident in his eyes as the truth of what I was saying dawned in his eyes.

As much as I loved him, an I did with my whole being I was not going to let him back in my life. I couldn't bare the thought of being hurt again by him when he decided that the memories were too much or he decided that he had changed his mind and wanted to go with Tasha. I knew that I wouldn't be able to take that kind of pain again.

If he had decided that he wanted to try and make amends with me then he had to fight his own personal demons first.

I would not be hurt by him again.

Wow, Dimitri must have realised that he still loves Rose but I still think that he wants to fight it.

I don't know about you but I am proud of Rose for pushing him off when she did and for telling him what is is her heart and mind. Hopefully we will see Dimitri fighting his battles and trying to win her heart back.

Please review they mean soo much to me to know that you are enjoying this story :0)

Love

sar

xxxx