The restless urgency had subsided, since they had begun relaxing in the tub. Sharing moments together. The words (I missed you) had sat unwelcome on the back of his tongue, heart catching at the idea of saying that so blatantly - practically begging for attention like a common dog. Then again, Garrett had always said such sweet things when they were alone. Would he truly wish for a honest assessment of his life with that request? It was easy enough to look around - the ripped tapestries, damaged furniture, broken banisters and shattered glassware scattered about this place neatly displayed both his fits of temper and lack of cleanliness, to leave it laying about for so long. But- it was the truth, and there was no real point in hiding it beyond the ache of injured pride.

"I missed you."

Maybe he had been foolish to admit it. Or maybe those weren't the right words to describe the tugging need for acknowledgment, or... company. Maybe just a warm body instead of the empty rotting shell of a house he lived in. (What an apt reflection of himself) - The echoed sentiment didn't sound like what he needed to hear anyway, so he busied himself with drying himself and fleeing the room, struggling to gather the words that he needed to say. He couldn't use the bath as a delay any longer, each moment staring at the human's face, breathing in his scent - being so absolutely trusted in those moments, wreaking havoc on the stoic distance he'd tried to take.

As soft and clean as his skin and hair was, there was still the dark smudges under his eyes from lack of sleep, and a sharpness to his hips that belied a diet made more of wine than actual food. The cold stone under his feet woke him up, textures a bit unfamiliar with the soft, clean soles instead of his normal hard callouses.

He could hear Hawke's voice bite after him as he left the bathroom "Fenris, so help me... Don't make me drag it out of you. Neither of us wants that... I can't well just leave you to this mood you're in!"

He heard the human clamber out, wet feet slapping against the floor "I won't tell anyone. Maker only knows how everyone figured out there was anything between us at all because you don't seem the type to chat casually about such things yourself."

Fenris felt his wet hair trying to bristle at the at the sharp words, automatically wanting to clam up and snarl instead of raking himself open for someone he'd already hurt and left behind. When he turned, he got an eyeful of nudity, and tossed the extra towel he'd slung around his neck at him, feeling some small amount of satisfaction when it hit him square in the face.

"Feel free to try." He bit out, turning on his heel with more energy than he really felt he had, dripping his way back toward his bed and wine. He shouldn't have tried.

With every step he took, the broken mansion only reminded him of the dark mood he was sinking into again, until it was difficult not to resort to mindless violence on another piece of furniture. He didn't WANT to feel this way, but he HATED this place. Loathed the familiar halls and broken stones with the same amount of dark satisfaction he got from defiling it. This was the room Danarius had him rip out the hearts of two magisters, for trying to usurp his monopoly on Kirkwall's human trade. There, a hall where he had stood guard while that man had another slave beaten for disobedience. He wanted nothing more than to spit on everything that man created.

Yet... in the same moment, he didn't deserve anything more than this. He hated the idea of cleaning up this accursed manor, and likewise hated the idea of acting servile in this place. The only brightness it ever had was when he was too drunk to pay attention, or when Hawke stepped in to light up the night with fire and mana, welcoming a battle.

He hated the feeling that he was leading a good man on, who thought he was better than he was.

He didn't want Hawke to leave him. He wanted to be left to rot. He wanted someone to pull him to safety. He deserved to drown. It was all muddled up in his head until he couldn't hear himself think.

"Now wait just a damn second! ...Maker's breath Fenris, at least dry off before you dramatically storm away! I-"

"-It's nothing you did!"

Fenris paused as he felt the human rush up behind him, hand catching his wrist. The warm palm wrapped around the space normally bound with red, like a scrap of cloth was the most valuable thing Fenris owned.

"Fenris, don't..." A pause, and he turned slightly to show he was listening. "Please dry off, first. I couldn't stand it if you got yourself sick." Fenris clenched his jaw, fingers twitching as fingers gently squeezed soft skin normally protected by armor and red cloth. Something in his heart panged at the symbolism.

"You can light a fire in the hearth, if you want me dry." There was probably a broken chair laying around that could use a good burning. If not, Fenris planned on crawling into bed anyway, so it's not like he'd be cold for long.

Hawke made a sharp gesture toward the fireplace, mana more than enough to get a fire going-. Even with the hearth mostly full of ash and old coals.

He swallowed, thinking over the moments before. This was getting ridiculous. He was too old to be throwing tantrums when his mind wasn't read.

"It's nothing you did." He repeated, more gently. He could hear Garrett sigh.

"Well... That's good, at least...Fenris, I... I can't make you do anything. All I can do is ask: please, tell me what's wrong?"

Fenris kept his eyes averted from what he knew would be an earnest face. He exhaled slowly, shifting and tapping the ball of his foot against the stone, hoping the pattern would clear up his thoughts.

Still muddled.

"I don't know," he muttered, honest at last, as unhelpful as it was. "It's a mess, I'm... a mess." He swallowed, still glaring at the far wall instead of meeting Hawke's eyes. His tone ended up coming out low and guilty, as though he were trying to be unseen with his very voice. "I..." he exhaled a sharp burst, raking strands of wet hair out of his eyes, if only for a reason to stall.

"I... hate this place. Being here. Seeing myself in it."

He saw from the corner of his eye as Hawke gestured helplessly around them, "This mansion isn't you. And... I mean if you wanted to, you could leave. Burn it down. I'd help you. Varric would too. And I'm sure Aveline would be overjoyed to hear of it as well, for your sake as much as her own." Hawke pressed closer to his side, and he couldn't help but see the brown eyes seeking out his own. "They're your friends, Fenris. I'm your..." The man hesitated, swallowing.. "I'm yours."

Fenris accepted the slide closer, listening quietly. How Garrett guessed right at the heart of things, he never knew. He couldn't say whether or not he fully believed the words, but their ragtag group probably would be game for arson.

"How-"

"Fenris, I hate to disappoint, but you're not nearly that mysterious. You said enough. I could figure from there." He stepped into the elf's space. "You could probably manage to afford a place in Lowtown. If Gamlen can, then I'm fairly sure anyone can. ...There is Darktown, too, but frankly I'm not sure I'd be comfortable with letting that slide. Not that you'd be in any real danger but... Well, you never know. There's the Hanged Man. Though maintaining a room there after a while would get rather pricey..." Hawke swallowed, "And... I suppose there's always staying with me but... That- that would be...silly, I guess, wouldn't it?"

Fenris could easily read the quiet longing in his offer, feeling oddly put-out by the accusation of not being mysterious. But... Hawke was actually going through options. He did bring in enough from the bounties to afford a decent place in Lowtown. He really hadn't been doing much with the coin except stashing it for emergencies and drinking with Isabela and Varric, on occasion.

The idea of staying with Hawke... was attractive. Very attractive. Would be a lot more attractive if he wasn't neck deep in wondering if this level of obsessive interest in keeping the man's attention on him was reasonable or not.

"It my be alright giving it a shot, silly or not." Aaand, there was his mouth, not that he didn't mean it, but he didn't want to say it. "Though I'd like to search for a place in Lowtown, I don't want to-" (be a burden, be coddled, be shackled down) was left unsaid.

And there went Hawke's jaw again. Unreliable bugger. Really needed to get it fixed before it just fell right off. He honestly didn't hear the rest of Fenris' babbling. Cutting him off with a kiss that was just far too excited for his own good.

"Really!? You- you'd want to?!" Then his mind came running up. Stop. Yield. Hold the damned horses Garrett, before they kick someone. The girls. Fenris had left before he'd decided about them. Would he still be comfortable with it, considering that? Not to mention, Hawke didn't have a spare bed right now. They'd all fit on his, sure but- Fenris. Would Fenris be alright with that?

"Didn't I just say-?"

"Y-you did... Sorry, I... Maker. What a week." Hawke kept the hand on Fenris' wrist there, but the other he pulled through his own hair. "I'm not sure where to begin. If I had half a mind to be a selfish prick I'd probably be pulling you along now but- it wouldn't just be you and I, you see. And... I'm not talking about Orana or Bodahn and Sandal..."

Fenris stared blankly at him for a long moment as the events of the nights prior seemed to filter back in through his memory. Aaand, there was the realization. "The... two children. The twins. Hm. I don't have to move anywhere now if they need to stay a while,"

Hawke winced, ...This was going to be painful.

"Well... Uh... Define 'a while'?" He was looking anywhere but at Fenris. The fireplace was suddenly a very useful distraction. Reminded him of the mess he had at home.

"You..." Fenris narrowed his eyes, frowning at him. "You're trying to keep them? Or- claim them? Have you lost- no, never mind." He huffed, "Lowtown it is."

"I'm perfectly sane!" Hawke protested quickly, "What else could I have done? Look over all of Kirkwall and tell me you can think of anyone who could be trusted with those two!" He frowned, sighing. Just his luck. "I'll... I'll help you look around Lowtown tomorrow evening... If you don't mind my coming along..."

"That's fine," Fenris agreed, though his expression told Hawke he was probably holding his tongue on several subjects.

"Alright... I'm glad." Hawke yawned at the thought. "As much as I'd love to stay... You're not the only one who needs sleep and tomorrow is shaping up to be rather busy." He buried a hand in Fenris' hair once again. Still soft, even when wet…

His throat rumbled again with a pleased hum at the gentle fingers through his hair. "You could sleep here," he disagreed, thinking only of a warm body to press against him, too tired to start something more tonight. This was what, his second day in a row without sleep? The anxiety had just about drained away, leaving an exhausted shell of an elf behind. He had a plan. He had backup. Things weren't hopeless, and he'd be able to leave this wretched place.

Hawke sighed wearily. He really shouldn't... He'd never be up in time to go explain to Orana and Bodahn and the girls what was going on. ...Then again, Bodahn took Hawke's decisions in stride by now, Orana would follow his lead, and the girls... Surely they wouldn't just go running off after all that had happened to them. Orana said she would watch them. He knew he was trying to justify the decision he'd already made in the back of his head.

"I shouldn't... But it's hard to refuse you. Especially when I want it just as much. ...I won't be able to stay long, after we wake, you know." He moved his thumb against the white strands, wishing he could take the other away with him. It'd make everything easier...

"That's fine. This is just... just sleep." Fenris patted his side, leaning into his hand for a moment before stepping away and tugging him toward the bed.

"You can turn off the fire if you want."

Hawke smirked, the amusement reaching his eyes. "Turn off the fire huh? Well, I can certainly give it a shot, in any case." It took little effort to put out the fire. More to keep the spell from growing stronger and chilling the room. Restraint was always the trickier route it seemed. Especially around Fenris. But he wouldn't dare say such a thing.

Fenris released his hand to pull extra blankets out of a side cupboard, kicking the wrinkled ones mercilessly from the mattress.

"You were the one who started it." He accused softly, "There wasn't even any kindling."