Ian Hecox
We've been following the white sedan for quite a while, he's been driving really and irritably slow, and with all four of us, counting Fabio, being cramped in that tight space, it's pretty much not the most comfortable place in the world, my ass hurts, probably for sitting on it for hours and being squeezed to the door.
"Dude, what's taking him so long?" Anthony groaned.
"He's been driving less than 10 miles an hour." I looked at my dashboard; our speed matched the white car's.
Billy was snoring loudly, his mouth wide open and leaning against the window with drool on his chin, is hat out of place on his head.
"How can that boy get some sleep in this tight space?" I asked.
"Beats me," Anthony shrugged.
"Where did you find him?"
"Who? Billy? Long story bro, we met in a toilet"
I jolted, "Whoa-whoa, in a toilet?!" I wrinkled my nose in disgust, "What did you do there?"
"Let me explain, the kid was gonna sit on my face—"
My eyes grew wider, "He what?! You pedophile!" I flinched, this is getting awkward.
"WOULD YOU JUST LET ME FINISH?!" He bellowed, making Billy jolt a little.
"Sorry dude, I'm listening." Too many sexual references.
"I was trapped in The Neighbor's basement, and I escaped through a tunnel then ended up in an outhouse. I came out of the toilet where Billy was supposed to take a poop, he saw me peeping through the seat then he helped me get out. He said he wanted to tag along." He finished. I thought I'll be reporting Anthony for being a pedophile.
"Ohh, I get it, it sounds kinda fucked up, but I get it now." I said.
Billy snored again.
"—and let's face it, he'd been a lot of help." My friend continued.
"True." I sighed. The car's turn signal blinked to the right, he's finally stopping.
"Oh look, he's stopping somewhere, at last." Anthony sighed. The car stopped by a huge building with huge glass windows and a big rotating door. We parked a few feet away from the tailed vehicle waiting for the driver to step out. The door of the car opened with the beret-wearing man stepping out and the glass box firmly in his grasp. We observed him as he entered the big glass door, the place looked like it was heavily guarded, with guys in black uniform standing by the entrance looking like a total rip off of Men in Black.
Anthony nudged Billy awake, "Billy! Wake up!" The boy inched his eyes open, looking left then right, till he stared at us, with a look of surprise.
"Was I dreaming with that daring police escape?" He shook his head.
"Nope, I hope it was." I said.
"Oh my God, that wasn't a dream?! I'm actually with Smosh?!" Billy squealed.
"Yeah." Anthony replied.
"Yaaaay! Somebody pinch me!"
"Okay." Anthony grabbed Billy's nipples and twisted them.
"OOOOOOWWWW!" He screamed.
"You awake now?" I asked.
"Yeah, I think my left nipple fell off and they're bleeding." Billy rubbed his left boob. I kicked open the car doors on my side and Anthony kicked theirs, it was trouble getting out.
"So what's the plan?" Anthony asked.
"Let me think," I stroke my beard then noticed I was still handcuffed, "Can you get these cuffs off of me first? I've been driving for hours handcuffed."
"Oh, my bad dude." Anthony sliced the chain open with the same cutter Billy used last night.
Finally the gloves, er, cuffs are off.
"I say follow him inside." I explained.
"How are we gonna get in there? It's guarded by those two dudes." Billy asked.
"We dress up like doctors."
Anthony interjected, "But wait, we should just—"
"There's a lab coat store just beside it, we can use those." I pointed to a store near the building, a little bit small to be in a place full of huge structures, painted brick red and a glass window displaying a mannequin in a lab coat. A sign on it read:
LAB COATS
"But we could just—" My friend mumbled.
"Don't worry man, it's foolproof!" We went to the shop and bought white lab coats, one for each of us. I wore my fake wig and round pair of glasses, Anthony wore a rectangular pair of glasses and styled his hair into a pointy Mohawk, Billy took off his hat, parted his hair onto one side and stuck on a fake mustache.
"Okay, all set?" Anthony said, brushing off new white coat.
"Does this dress make me look fat?" Billy asked.
"What dress?" I asked.
"This one." Billy ripped open his coat and showed us a pink floral gown underneath it, the skirt running down to his knee and a sleeveless top.
It made me and Anthony shriek. "AAAAAHHHH! Why are you wearing that?!" I shouted, covering my eyes.
"Why wouldn't I? It feels good to feel your manhood clapping free." Billy jumped up and down; a sound of two balls rubbing against each other was heard.
"True." My friend and I said in unison.
"And these new rubber shoes fit my large feet well." The boy showed off his new shoes.
We approached the front doors and now we're facing the two guys in black, both of whom towered over us, not to mention they're buff and seemed like they're six foot high. The guards almost looked identical. It was scary.
"Welcome kind sirs." The guard on the left said in a squeaky high pitched voice, kinda odd for a towering buff dude. I snickered.
"Good morning, my good man." I said in a posh English accent.
"Would you mind letting us in?" Anthony followed with a cowboy accent.
"Bub figgly foo squeemy jeemy" Billy uttered, we both looked at him.
"Uh- he's Irish." I said. There was a brief moment of silence, with the two guards looking at us, examining us, like they're inspecting every fiber of my being, whoa, too dramatic description. I stared back into their dark shades, and their mouths curved into a smile.
"Go right ahead Mister—" the guard on the left squeaked, looking at me.
"SUQ MADIQ." I read the name tag pinned on my coat. Anthony chuckled and I gave him an elbow to the belly, causing him to groan in pain.
"Alright, Dr. Madiq." The guard on the right hopped from his spot and to our surprise, he was just a midget, standing on top of a fake pair of legs, now we dwarfed him. I looked at Billy and Anthony to see the same surprised expression on their faces. The tiny guard went to the glass door and pushed it open, allowing us to pass through.
"Thanks." I gave a courtesy bow to the man.
"Anytime." The midget guard smiled.
We're in, the lobby had this high-tech futuristic look as it was mostly chrome, just like in the movies where they depict the future as chrome-y and clean. At the center was a huge fountain, water spouting from holes on the rim of it and directed at the center of it where huge metal letters forming the words:
ALLOY DIGITAL
I tapped my friend's shoulder, "Alloy Digital is our parent company, right?" I asked.
"Yeah, dumbass, that's what I've been trying to tell you, but you keep butting your plan in, didn't you see the huge-ass metal sign on the outside?" Anthony sighed, "We could've just walked right in, but you said to go incognito." He mocked me.
"I'm sorry!"
He brushed it off, "Whatever, man, let's go find that glove, Billy y—" We turned but could not see the boy, Anthony called, "Billy where are you?"
"Yay! I love swimming!" We heard his voice, Billy was sitting in the fountain: wet, swishing the water about and enjoying the fun.
I yelled, "Hey! Get out of there before some—"
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING IN THERE?!" Too late. A woman behind us yelled, she scolded Billy and we just couldn't dare to look back.
"Duh, I'm swimming." Billy replied to the girl.
"You better get out of there now, bud." She calmly said. We spun around to look at her: that familiar face, brunette wavy hair, curvy body and the Japanese-American features plus the tomboy look: Mari Takahashi.
"Mari?" Anthony mumbled.
She smiled and squinted her eyes, "Yeah, Mister—?"
I lifted my wig, "It's us." I whispered. Mari's smile grew wide; she threw her arms around me and Anthony.
"Oh my God, Ian! Anthony! I missed you!" Mari said, I heard her sob.
"Yea—wait, why? Did we go anywhere?" I asked. Mari grabbed my hand.
"You two had a fight and—"
"Look Ian! I'm a whale!" Billy screamed, we glanced at him and saw him face up in the fountain and spouting water through his mouth.
"—and will you please get your friend out of that fountain?" She pointed to Billy.
"Billy! Get out of there!" Anthony said.
"I don't wanna!" The boy folded his arms.
"I've got cookies!" I said, the boy looked at me, and his tongue dangled out of his mouth.
"Cookies?!" He quickly jumped out of the fountain, he was soaking wet. He dashed and hugged my leg, drenching it. I pulled out a cookie from my pants that probably had been in here for a few months, I waved the cookie over his face and he followed it just like a hungry dog.
"You want his, boy?" I said, he pants like a dog.
"Arf!" The boy barked. I threw it to him and he caught it with his mouth with little effort before letting go of my leg then going all fours on the ground, munching on his treat.
Anthony knelt beside Billy, "Can I have some, Billy?" The boy stared angrily at my friend and growled, scaring him away.
"Fine, stingy ass." Anthony exclaimed. I turned to Mari.
"Anyways, what did you say about us fighting?" I asked her.
"You two had a big fight that ended Smosh." She frowned.
"What fight?"
"If I remember it correctly, Anthony humiliated you too much and you got pissed off."
"When?" I looked at Anthony with a shocked expression on my face, and then the guy in the lab coat we were chasing walked behind Mari, holding the clothed glass box.
"That's our guy!" I blurted out, startling Mari.
"Who?" Mari asked.
"That chubby guy in lab coat, wearing a beret, kinda like a gay sailor, looks kinda like me." I pointed to the guy at the corner of the lobby.
"Oh, Doctor Drew Peacock?" She said, "He's hard to catch right now, that slippery bastard." Mari laughed. "Wait, it's morning, why is he here? He's head of the night shaft—I mean shift." Mari raised an eyebrow.
"We need to tail him." We watched the man's every move, his arms were firmly wrapped around the glass box protecting it from the people around, and most likely from us. He soon got into an elevator; we watched the display on the little screen: twelfth floor.
"Twelfth floor." I mumbled.
"Guys, can you tell me what the hell's going on here?"" Mari asked us.
"It's a long story, Mari, I'll tell you on the way." I reassured her, she just nodded. We walked towards the elevator doors beside it the one taken by Drew Peacock.
SQUEAK! SQUEAK! Billy's clothes made his every step squeak, we gave him the stink eye, "Sorry." He said, pulling off his boots and spilling water on the floor, making more noise.
I groaned in disbelief, "Really, Billy? You're making a scene!" I blurted out. Billy blushed, embarrassed. I pressed the up button on the elevator and after a few minutes, the doors slid open and the lift was empty, we hurriedly hopped in and I pressed the button labeled '12'
"Alright, Power Glove, here we come!" I cheered, Billy then went in front of me, with a big smile, looking at the buttons.
"Look guys! This is what my friend and I do when we were kids!" Billy smiled as he placed his hand just above the buttons in the elevator.
"BILLY, NO!" Billy slid his hand downwards, pressing all the buttons of the floors, "You idiot!" I bellowed. I was about to throw a punch at him but Anthony went between me and the boy.
"Hey, go easy on the kid, you know he has special problems." Anthony stopped my hand.
I took a deep breath and put down my closed fists, it was Billy's lucky day. I sighed loudly and shook my head, covering my face with my hands and rubbing it in frustration.
"We've got a long way to go."
