We sang and stayed up all night. We had some deep alcohol-induced conversations. I learned that George had a wife, Asia - and she was bitten right away, about an hour after this was nicknamed a crisis. She had been five months pregnant - they were going to call her Ava. And it made me wonder how he could keep a positive outlook through all of this. It made me realize how strong he really is.
Danny had a little bit of the same situation. A little bit. He also was married - Theresa was her name. He showed me a picture. She was beautiful. They'd been trying to get pregnant for about a year. When the outbreak happened, Theresa was in the hospital.
"She fell down the stairs. Broke one of her legs." Danny quietly said.
"Oh, oh my god."
"Yeah. And we all know - the hospital was probably the worst place to be. She's gone now."
"I'm so sorry."
"There's nothing you could've done."
We spent the rest of the night mourning lost family, lost girlfriends, lost wives, lost friends. Letting the nostalgia hit us in the most painful ways, but trying to be positive, just for everyone else. The sun rose, and we were still awake.
The sun didn't really rise. It was raining still. Every night got darker than the last, and every day just seemed gloomier.
"I'm done with this." Jeff crawled over to what was at one point, just an office couch. Now, it was a bed. "Night kids."
The rest of us agreed, and curled up on the floor together. That was another good thing about being on top of a huge building - we could all sleep at the same time without worrying. Of course, we worried - but not the escalated kind. I was just happy that I didn't have to face a goddamn mess like this one alone.
And it's all I could think about.
Everyone fell asleep, except for me. I moved Jordon's arm off me, went over to one of the bags, and pulled out my journal. I drew in it. I wrote songs. Random thoughts. I read through the past couple of days. My last entry was pretty short.
"I can see all of my friends and I, breaking into empty buildings.
When the coast is clear, with backpacks full of beer,
we'd throw our bottles from the rooftops, at the city; it looked endless.
And I still don't see the difference between real purpose, and that urgent adolescence."
I wrote two more scraps into it.
"No one should ever have to walk through the fire alone. No one should ever have to brave that storm, no."
"Remember not our faulted pieces, remember not our rusted parts. It's not the petty imperfections that define us, but the way we hold our hearts, and the way we hold our heads.
I hope they write your name beside mine on my gravestone when I'm dead."
With that, I returned back to where I was before, and put my arm over Jordon's stomach. Occasionally, we like acting cute. Even though he was asleep and I wasn't thinking straight, I knew I was just happy to meet him. Even with these circumstances, I guess I'll be honest - I could use him around.
I fell asleep easy, but woke up every hour or so. Paranoid, of course. Jordon twitched awake everytime I did, and I felt bad around the third time it happened.
"Sorry... again..." I whispered.
"Mhm." he rolled over facing me, and yawned. "Is something wrong?"
"Nothing I need to wake you up over. Go back to sleep." I kissed him, which still makes my heart race. Brooklynne Marie Taylor. She doesn't kiss first. She just... she doesn't.
"No, really." I heard his muffled whisper. "What's wrong?"
"I'm scared."
"So am I."
"I don't know what we're going to do, Jordon. Even if we do survive, I can't do any of those things I wanted to do."
"What things?"
"You know, go back to school, get my dream job, get married, pop out a couple cute kids - I'm never going to be able to do that."
"You're never going to go back to school - or get a job - or be officially married - and having kids right now, probably not a terrific idea -"
"As I just said."
"Let me finish. But you always have us. You hear that? Always." he kissed me on the cheek and snuggled me back into his arms. "Now just go back to sleep. You need some."
I reluctantly agreed, and sunk back into where I was before on a pillow made from a crumpled up hoodie, and both of us in one of those huge sleeping bags.
I didn't wake up after that. It really did feel perfect, lying on the ground with these once-strangers I used to idolize, these people I used to think I knew - there was a lot more than I thought I knew. For so many years. Now, they weren't just some band I like. They were my best friends - along with Jake and Jeff. I loved them, too.
I woke up being pushed out of Jordon's arms, and I watched him run outside. A loud "Holy FUCK!" could be heard afterwards, and more illegible yelling. I was used to them making a racket, so I just rolled over and started sleeping again, only to get shaken minutes after.
"Can't stay here." Danny shook me hard, looking back over his shoulder. I came to my senses quick - I heard gunshots. Not just our gunshots.
I stood up to see Jordon, Jorel and George shooting it out with someone on the building next to us.
"What the FUCK is going on?" I lost all common sense and tried to run outside, but Danny grabbed me from behind and held me back.
The gunshots ceased, and I heard a distant, low voice.
"You've got a bitch in there?"
"She ain't no fucking BITCH." I heard Jeff spit out, and Danny held one hand over my mouth, the other arm still busy holding me back. A couple gunshots were fired again, and I heard a window crash.
Danny held his arm around my waist inside, and sat me up on a desk.
"Brooklynne, just calm down. Just calm down." he told me. "Breathe."
"One night with her, we'll leave you faggots alone." I heard outside. I couldn't help but start crying. - They wouldn't do that to me, would they? Would they?
"She doesn't want your fucking STDs anyway, Truth." Jordon yelled out and dived inside, Jorel and George crashing on top of them and slamming the door. They were still shooting at us outside, and by now, I was almost hysterical.
"We aren't staying here." George started shoving some stuff in bags.
Jordon came over and I collapsed myself into his arms. "You aren't safe here."
"Why do you guys care so much?" I sniffled. "You guys have a real fucking chance here. I don't know anything. If I were you, I'd leave me alone."
"You aren't us, though." Jorel wiped some sweat from his forehead. "Grab your shit."
