Disclaimer: I don't own Inuyasha.

Chapter Nine: Sing For Absolution

I sat in the passenger seat, a dozen blood-red roses in my lap. I wore all black; the outfit reminding me of my teen years. The rain pelted against the windshield as we drove down the highway. Inuyasha was quiet and grim beside me, still objecting to my decision.

It was all my idea.

We drove off the exit ramp and made our way down the quiet. We passed the church and turned into the cemetery. Everything was so quiet. Only the rain disturbed the peace. I held the roses in my lap with a sort of calmness that I would have found irritating a month ago, given the situation. I was somewhat eager.

Inuyasha parked near the back of the cemetery and got out, jogging to my side. I was out before he tried to get the door, rain pelting my hair that I had pulled back.

"You don't have to do this." Inuyasha said, trying one last time to talk me out of it. Like I had gone all that way to throw the roses in the car and say, "Yeah, you're right, let's go."? I walked alone to find what I was looking for.

I had given much thought to my wardrobe. It was respectful: my hair pinned up, my dress pants ironed and my black trench coat fastened neatly. I held the roses in my hand as the cellophane crinkled beneath my grasp. Thunder rumbled in the distance. It was my favorite weather. The rain kicked up a little more, coming down hard. I didn't care.

I walked to the far corner of the cemetery. Found the headstone.

It was in a darkened corner, shaded by an ancient oak tree. I looked down at the headstone, suppressing the absurd urge to cry. I read the headstone.

Here Lies Kikyo

The Modern Priestess

The Golden Heart

A stone angel lay over the top of the headstone, weeping silently and forever in her eternal shell. The tears of the angel fell down the headstone.

"She helped a lot of sick children, children who were dying of terminal illnesses. Her fate was the same as those she helped." Inuyasha had told me.

I couldn't help the tear that fell against my cheek. It mixed with the drops of rain on my cheek but I could feel its heat. It was like a secret. Only I knew it was there.

I cried for this woman, this angel, who had died too young. No wonder Inuyasha loved her. I set the roses down at the base of the headstone. I traced the wet words delicately with one finger.

"I don't deserve him." I muttered. "He's a savior. A guardian angel, you should be with him, not me."

I felt electricity run through my fingertip faintly for the briefest second. I let out a small gasp. The feeling was soothing. I looked up at the angel.

I was so unworthy.


Inuyasha had decided to live with me and we both moved back to Tokyo to be closer to my mother. Inuyasha, as it turns out, was going to school to learn to teach music. I went back to my old job at the library as Hojo had been fired and moved to the Americas. I became head librarian and I loved my job.

Sango and Miroku had a baby and named Inuyasha and me the god parents. I had never been so happy in my life. The whole god child thing got me thinking about kids of my own. Inuyasha said it was out of the question until I was a little older, and he still had to marry me first. I told him to hurry up.

Despite everything that had happened to me, my life had turned out okay. I knew it was because I had let it. Naraku was gone forever, or at least I hoped. I had grown up a lot since the abuse had taken place.

I found I was a stronger woman, not because of how I handled the after effects, but because I survived the whole ordeal. I survived by being able to be happy. I had read somewhere that women who are abused, especially young women, often never recover.

I had been lucky.

Despite the recent understanding about myself, I still had my mother. I didn't fully realize how the confession had hurt her, how knowing she let some filthy man sexually abuse her child sickened her. She became very depressed. Inuyasha had suggested we both see a therapist and I started to believe that maybe that was a good idea.

No road comes without its bumps but hey, that's life, right?

Thank you to all whom reviewed/favorite/alerted any of my stories (got a lot of emails telling me about people adding me to their favorites and this story as well. It made me tingle inside.) I hope the sequel was better than the first. But only you can tell me if it was. Thanks again.

WH