[Welcome back, everyone! Hope you enjoyed the silliest chapter of this fanfiction. Now I'm afraid it's time for things to wind down and get Snape back to Hogwarts. Hope you enjoyed reading all of this half as much as I enjoyed writing it. Merry (super-)belated Christmas, roomie.]
Chapter 9
Severus walked inside the police box and blinked. Then he poked his head outside. Then he looked inside again. Then he shrugged and sat down on a chair that was located nearby the giant glowy mechanical thing in the center, which he supposed controlled the whole business.
"Well that's odd," said the Doctor.
"Something else strange?" said the blonde girl with the thick London accent.
"This chap is the first human who's never done the 'It's bigger on the inside!' Ever been in a Tardis before, Mystery Man? Also, if you don't introduce yourself I'm afraid I'll have to start calling you Mysty for short."
Severus shrugged (although his shoulders were starting to hurt from all the shrugging), "I must be higher than I thought I was."
"Good lord, you mean to tell me you're on drugs and messing with time turners? No wonder you're so far from home, Mysty."
"It's Severus."
"Hmm, never heard of that one. Is that another nickname for marijuana? Honestly I started losing track of 70's nicknames for marijuana somewhere around 'the green goose.'"
"It's my name, you idiot."
"Well, nice to meet you, Severus! Now, Rose, if you'd be kind enough to close the doors, I think it's high time we got this lad home."
Rose giggled and hopped over to the doors to close them.
"Now then," said the Doctor, lifting up a floor panel and digging through a box underneath, "ordinarily I'd ask what date you're from, but in my experience, most people messing with time turners are trying to fix something that's already happened to them, and I can tell you again from experience that 846,293,143 out of 846,293,143 times that when you try to fix something you've lived through, you only make it worse. You'd think I'd've learned after the 846,293,142nd time…
Anyway," he said, taking out what looked like a slap-on wristband, "this little gadget right here will tell the Tardis the very second and location you came from, so if you don't mind..." the Doctor crouched next to Severus and reached for his hand.
Severus sighed and proffered his wrist. The Doctor slapped the bracelet on, which started to make funny little whirring noises.
"Now, while we're waiting, want to tell us why you're here, Sev?"
"Don't call me Sev," said Severus, as a tinge of pain stuck in his heart at her nickname for him.
"Alright, Severus. Was it a bad O.W.L.?... A dead relative?... Lady trouble?..."
"Look," said Severus, turning to look the Doctor in the face, "I have had a long, long month, and you are a very, very annoying hallucination. So, if it's alright by you, I'd like to hallucinate myself back to Hogwarts without comment, please."
"You are not interested in making friends, are you, mate?"
"Friends can stab you in the back. Enemies at least have to stab you in the front."
"Alright, suit yourself," said the Doctor, taking the bracelet off and standing upright, "now, I'm going to go and press a whole lot of buttons, and you'll be back at Hogwarts before you can say 'Harry Potter.'"
"Who?"
But the Doctor was already lifting levers and turning knobs. As the Tardis started to make a strange whooshing sound, Severus heard from behind him, "It was lady trouble, wasn't it?"
Severus turned around to see the blonde girl, leaning on a guardrail.
"Piss off," said Severus, turning back around.
"Look, mate," said the girl, who'd moved to sit next to him, "believe me. I know how things really suck for you at the moment," for a split second she glanced over at the Doctor, before turning back to Severus, "but that don't mean they always will necessarily. Stick around and maybe things'll change."
"You're an even worse hallucination than he is."
"My point is that so long as you're always there in some way, they can never say you weren't there for'em when they needed you. And who knows? Maybe the day'll come when they actually need you."
Severus was about to fire back another variation of "Piss off," when the Tardis started to lurch, and the next thing he knew, he was clinging to his seat for dear life.
"Right, here we are, mate," said the Doctor, "old Hoggy-warty Hogwarts. If I aimed right, we should be in an empty classroom on the fifth floor."
The Doctor ran across the room and opened the doors.
"Middle of the Great Hall," he said as he walked over to Severus, "at least it's the middle of the night this time, and I'm not landing on a second-year's treacle." The Doctor proffered a hand to Severus, "This is your stop, mate."
Severus got up again without the Doctor's help and walked out the door. They were indeed in the middle of the Great Hall, in the middle of the night… and Albus Dumbledore had just walked in.
"Hello Severus," said Dumbledore, stopping in front of the Tardis, "moonlighting with the Doctor, I see?"
"Why hello, Albus!" said the Doctor, coming up from behind Severus and extending his hand, "Good to see you again. Still got that scar on your knee from when we met?"
"Indeed I have," said Dumbleore, shaking the Doctor's hand, "and it's still a perfect map of the London Underground. Now, what have we here?"
"Just a bit of fun with Severus in early 20th century France is all. No need to take out the detention slips."
"I wouldn't dream of it. However, if all business is finished, I think I will be escorting Severus back to his dormitory."
"Why thank you, Albus. Also, might I introduce you to Rose?"
"Delighted to meet you," said Albus, inclining his head. Rose, however, was gazing at the ceiling.
"Are those real stars?" she asked.
"Right, you've never been to Hogwarts, have you? How about I explain in the Tardis, and we go and watch the second task of the 1932 Tri-wizard tournament here?"
"Might I suggest the third task, Doctor. The second was rather unpleasant for the audience when all 100 boggarts got loose due to a poorly chosen spell from the Beauxbatons champion."
"Of course, you're quite right. In any event, you'll be seeing me, Albus. Take care, Severus!" said the Doctor, as he disappeared into the Tardis.
Rose faced Severus and said, "Just remember what I said, mate," before disappearing inside after the Doctor and closing the doors.
"Well, that was delightful," said Albus as the Tardis whooshed out of sight, "now, if you please, I believe the Slytherin dormitory is this way."
Severus collapsed into bed as the last of his high dissipated. He began to wonder what the hell had just happened. Failing to come to any conclusions that made even the remotest bit of sense, he instead turned his mind toward what was going to happen. The Phantom was right; trust belonged with those you knew would hurt and use you, not those you hoped would not. It was time to accept Bellatrix's invitation to the Dark Arts Club, and teach muggles who would presume power over a witch or wizard to know better. It was time for the Phantoms and Tobiases of the world to pay for their insolence.
As for Lily… let her be with Potter. One day, she would need something he couldn't give, and it would be left to Severus to clean up the mess. Would he do it, though?
Yes, Severus thought, as he began to drift off, always.
