Illinois, April 2009
Since rescuing Jimmy from the demons and leaving his family behind, Alex had done nothing but feel like shit. She had insisted on sitting in the front seat of the Impala as a semi-permanent solution to that fact that being near Jimmy made her feel exceptionally uncomfortable. The man slumped in the back seat, his head pressed against the window.
She couldn't even look at him.
Dean and Sam were arguing again. She sighed and ignored them as she kept her gaze on the road. The night stretched before them, and she wished she was back at Bobby's for the millionth time. She knew they had a job to do but she didn't find her heart in it.
Especially now it was uncertain that Castiel would ever come back, and they were down an angel for protection.
Sam's phone rang suddenly, interrupting the heated words between her brothers, and the youngest Winchester sibling answered it, frowning. When he passed the phone to Cas- no, Jimmy, Alex finally turned and looked at the vessel. His wife was on the phone, and by the look on his face, it wasn't good news.
Dean floored the Impala and swerved around to go back in the direction they came. It didn't take long to pull up to the destination that Jimmy had been given by his wife - or rather, the demon possessing her. He was panicking now, worried about his family.
As her brother parked the car and all four of them climbed out, he started issuing orders, in true Dean fashion. He was way more like their dad than he liked to admit at times.
'Alright, they're expecting you to come alone. That's exactly what you're gonna do.'
'We'll work our way through the catwalks. We'll be right behind you.' Sam followed up.
'All you gotta do is stay calm and stall. Let us do our job.'
Jimmy scowled, but it was clear he was terrified. 'You want me to stay calm? This is my family we're talking about.'
'Listen to me, this will work. You understand? Nobody's gonna get hurt.' Dean's voice was firm as he faced Jimmy.
'Yeah, whatever. Give me a minute, okay?' He turned and walked away, as Dean's shoulders dropped and he turned to his siblings.
'There's no way they're expecting him to come alone, Dean. You know this is probably a trap.' Alex pointed out, and Sam nodded in agreement.
'Yeah, I know. That's why I have a plan.' He moved to the rear of the Impala and opened the trunk. 'We'll sneak in through the side. He's gonna go in through the front. Alex, you scale the side. You're the better climber.'
'Okay.' She nodded.
'Go now. Be quiet.' He tossed her a handgun and she caught it deftly, tucking it into the waistband of her pants. Then she took off, moving silently across the ground and disappearing into the darkness. Dean looked over to Sam as he passed him a sawed off. 'You think she's okay?'
'No. But what can we do about it?'
'Get her home to James as soon as possible. She's not happy being away from him.' Dean sighed as he shut the trunk. 'Truth is...neither am I.'
He turned and walked off, and Sam followed after a second.
It didn't take long for the demons to find them.
She could hear the demon talking in Amelia's voice, taunting Dean from the catwalk above the room. She hadn't encountered any demons on the way in, and she was waiting for the moment to jump down. Her eyes flickered to Claire, who was tied to a chair, her hair hanging down over her face. Silently, Alex slipped through the darkness and down the fire escape to the ground floor, staying in the shadows. She crept towards Claire, intent on releasing the child. As she grew closer, she felt an odd feeling and paused, looking around.
Castiel.
How the hell did she know he was here? Somewhere, he was here.
A gun shot made her jump, and she looked up in horror as Jimmy Novak slumped to the ground, blood pumping from the wound in his gut. Amelia instructed the other demons to kill the girl, and then left the room. Alex looked on in horror as Jimmy bled out on the floor, and her brothers struggled. The tallest of the three demons stepped forward, ready to swing a pipe at the girl and kill her.
Then Claire reached out and grabbed the weapon, then placed her hand on his forehead and burnt him out. Alex's eyes widened.
'Cas.' She whispered, and Claire glanced back at her briefly, her eyes almost sparkling with the angel's grace inside her. She smiled a little, then moved forward towards where Dean and Sam were fighting demons. Sam wrestled a demon to the floor, away from his brother who was being punched in the face by stunt demon number two. Castiel in Claire's form walked over and held a hand to the demon's head, burning him out. Alex rushed to Jimmy's side and knelt down to him.
'You're gonna be fine, Jimmy.'
He chuckled dryly. 'I don't...think so.' He gasped, his hand over the stomach wound. 'Should've seen this coming really.' He looked up at her. 'I am sorry, Alex. About your son.'
'What?' The room fell quiet, and Alex felt someone coming up behind her. She turned, and came face to face with Castiel, who looked down at her. Alex moved backwards, away from the bleeding human and his angel infused daughter. She scrambled to her feet and looked over at Sam and Dean; Sam's face was smeared with blood and her heart fell as her eyes connected with Dean's.
Looked like she didn't have to tell her big brother the truth after all.
Claire's voice came through to her and she turned as Jimmy begged for the angel to take him instead of his daughter.
'I wanna make sure you understand. You won't die or age. If this last year was painful for you, picture a hundred, a thousand more like it.'
'It doesn't matter.' Jimmy said as blood dribbled down his chin. 'You take me. Just take me.'
'As you wish.' Claire reached out a hand and placed it on Jimmy's face. A bright light emanated from Jimmy's eyes and mouth as the angel retook his vessel, and Claire collapsed to her hands and knees. Castiel, returned to his vessel, stood and looked down at the girl, before moving past her and past Amelia and Alex, coming to stand between the two brothers. Amelia and Cas looked at each other for moment, and then he turned to leave.
'Cas, hold up. What were you gonna tell me?' Dean asked, reaching out to his friend. The angel looked back at him, his face colder than Alex had ever seen it.
'I learned my lesson while I was away, Dean. I serve heaven, I don't serve man, and I certainly don't serve you.' His eyes flickered to Alex, and for a moment she thought she saw something there, but then he turned and walked away.
Alex felt something twist in her gut.
He was gone.
Things had gone from bad to worse when they'd gotten back from losing Castiel. Dean and Bobby had spoken at some point and decided to try and detox the youngest Winchester brother. Alex had gotten back to the house and gone straight up to James' room, not caring what her brothers were doing. All she cared about was laying eyes on her little boy, even if she now had to figure out how to tell him that Castiel would be unlikely to return to them again.
It was going to hurt him bad.
Exactly what Alex had never wanted. When you lived this life, you lost people. She had never wanted that for him.
She could run. She could pack a bag and leave now, disappear off the radar. She'd learnt enough about angel wardings and demon wardings to keep them safe. They could try and live that normal life again.
Except Sam and Dean wouldn't let her disappear again.
James shifted and rolled over in his sleep, and Alex frowned as she heard shouting from downstairs. She got up and moved from the room, shutting the door behind her. She went down into the living room, finding Dean and Bobby sat at his desk, a fifth of whiskey each.
'What's going on?' She asked.
'Sam is drying out.'
'Oh.' Her response was quiet.
'You knew, didn't you?' Dean asked suddenly. 'You knew what he was doing.'
Alex threw herself onto the couch. The last few days were catching up to her and she was exhausted. 'I did. I told him to tell you.'
'Well, he didn't.' Dean said, a hint of anger in his voice. 'You should have.'
She rolled her eyes. 'I don't care right now, Dean.'
'Well, I do!'
Sam yelled again from the panic room and Alex looked in that direction, along with Bobby and Dean. The elder hunter sighed and down his whiskey. 'Listen, can we put all this family hoo haa to one side for a moment? I had some news today.'
'News?' Dean asked, tossing back his whiskey.
'Rufus called. The news ain't good.' He picked up a sheet of paper with a report on it over to the younger man and Dean looked at it with a frown on his face.
'This is what Rufus called about? 'Key West sees ten species go extinct'.' He read from the paper, and then passed it to Alex, who looked at it with little interest.
'Yep. Plus Alaska. Fifteen-man fishing crew all stricken blind, cause unknown. New York, teacher goes postal, locks the door, kills exactly sixty-six kids. All this in a single day. I looked them up. There's no doubt about it. They're all seals. Breaking. Fast.' Bobby's face was set in a serious expression, and the two Winchesters looked over to him.
'How many are left?'
'Who knows? Can't be many. Where the hell are your angel pals?' Bobby asked.
'You tell me.' Dean muttered as Alex looked away.
'I'm just wondering.' Bobby trailed off, as if he was nervous to say what he was thinking.
'What?
'The apocalypse being nigh and all...is now really the right time to be having this little domestic drama of ours?' He nodded his head in the direction of the panic room.
'What do you mean?' Dean asked, a dangerous edge to his words.
'Well, I don't like this any more than you do, but Sam can kill demons. He's got a shot at stopping Armageddon.'
'So what? Sacrifice Sam's life, his soul, for the greater good? Is that what you're saying? Times are bad, so let's use Sam as a nuclear warhead?' Alex stood, dropping the news report to the sofa. She stood at the doorway, listening to Sam shouting to be let out. Bobby sighed heavily.
'Look, I know you hate me for suggesting it. I hate me for suggesting it. I love that boy like a son. All I'm saying is maybe he's here right now instead of on the battlefield because we love him too much.'
Alex found herself on the roof outside James' bedroom, her hunting knife in her hand. Bobby had given her the knife for her thirteenth birthday, and she'd kept it all these years, her weapon of choice. Guns were handy, but she preferred a quiet kill. She preferred the quiet overall.
Her thoughts of running still lingered in her mind, and she shut her eyes briefly, trying to remember when she last slept.
'You are not well.' Castiel's voice made her jump a little.
'I'm fine. Just tired.'
'You have not slept in three days.'
She opened her eyes and scowled at him. 'Get lost, Castiel.'
'I cannot get lost. I have a very good knowledge of where I am at all times.'
Alex rolled her eyes. 'Just go away.'
'I am still performing my duty, Alex Winchester. James is under my protection.' He was back to including her last name. Oh joy.
'Thought you didn't serve us.' She didn't even want to look at him. She was pissed at him; more than pissed. And she wanted him to stay away from James.
'I don't. I serve Heaven. I always have.'
'Wow, they reconditioned you well, didn't they?'
He tilted his head to the side, his blue eyes peering at her curiously. 'How is James?'
'You can stay the hell away from him.' She felt the anger now, pushing at her. 'And I mean it. You don't show yourself, you don't talk to him. I don't care what you think you are to him; you stay the hell away from my son.' She stood up, brandishing the hunting knife like she had done when they first met. He eyed the weapon with a distinct lack of concern. 'Go away, Castiel.'
She took the roof in two strides and jumped down to the ground, landing gracefully into a barrel roll on the dirt floor. She felt her shoulder jar a little, but didn't care as she stormed away.
Dean was coming out of the house as she entered and she stomped past him, ignoring his asking what was wrong. He watched her go inside the house, then shrugged his shoulders and went out into the yard, far enough away from the house that no one would hear. Once he was certain it was clear, he shouted for Castiel, almost jumping out of his skin when the angel appeared from nowhere.
'Huh. Thought I was gonna have to scream myself hoarse to get you down here.'
'I was already here. What do you want?' The disdain in the angel's voice was clear, and Dean suddenly knew what had Alex all in a twist.
'You can start with what the hell happened in Illinois.'
'What do you mean?' Castiel tried to sound innocent and failed.
'Cut the crap. You were gonna tell me something.'
The angel shrugged. 'Well, nothing of import.'
'You got ass-reamed in heaven but it was not of import?'
'Dean, I can't. I'm sorry. Get to the reason you really called me. It's about Sam, right?'
Dean blinked. 'Can he do it? Kill Lilith, stop the apocalypse?'
'Possibly, yes. But as you know, he'd have to take certain steps.'
'Crank up the hell-blood regimen.' Dean felt his heart sink a little. He didn't want his baby brother to go through this.
'Consuming the amount of blood it would take to kill Lilith would change your brother forever. Most likely, he would become the next creature that you would feel compelled to kill. There's no reason this would have to come to pass, Dean. We believe it's you, Dean, not your brother. The only question for us is whether you're willing to accept it. Stand up and accept your role. You are the one who will stop it.'
'If I do this, Sammy doesn't have to?'
'If it gives you comfort to see it that way.'
'God, you're a dick these days.' Dean muttered. 'What about James?'
'James' role is already destined. He will become a hunter. He will be a warrior. What kind he is, will be determined by the paths you show him.'
Dean turned, walking a few steps before he stopped and turned back. 'Fine. I'm in.'
'You give yourself over wholly to the service of God and his angels?' Castiel asked, and it sounded way more ominous than it should have done.
'Yeah, exactly.'
'Say it.' The angel's voice was forceful now and Dean blinked in surprise, then acquiesced.
'I give myself over wholly to serve God and you guys.'
'You swear to follow his will and his word as swiftly and obediently as you did your own father's?'
'Yes, I swear. Now what?'
'Now you wait, and we call on you when it's time.' And with that, Castiel disappeared.
Alex sat at the top of the stairs, listening to Sam scream in the panic room, and Bobby arguing with Dean. Her heart felt like a frozen block of ice as she listened to her brother explaining that he'd handed himself over as a servant of heaven. She didn't know what it meant exactly, but a terror gripped her like nothing she'd felt before, aside from where it came to James. She'd not had her family back for long - and now she was starting to think it would have been better if they had never reunited.
Thoughts of running plagued her more than ever, and she squeezed her eyes shut, wishing she was still at their house in Indiana, ignoring the demons, ignoring everything bad in the world. She'd been happy, more or less, and James had been safe. How was it fair that her little boy would never get the normal life she'd wanted for him? Why did destiny have to be such a raging bitch?
Sam started making strange noises, and Dean and Bobby pounded through the house to the panic room. Alex opened her eyes as they ran past the stairs, and she quickly followed, wondering what was going on. She paused as she saw the two older men by the door of the panic room, looking in. Bobby muttered something about faking, then both of them stilled. A choked sound came from within, and Dean fumbled with the door. The pair of them rushed inside, and Alex moved closer to the door, seeing Sam pinned against the wall by an invisible force. She cringed at the state of her little brother.
He was pale, sweat making his hair stringy and stuck to his forehead. His eyes were bloodshot, and he was covered in bruises. She watched as Dean and Bobby pulled him from the wall and over to the bed.
'We're gonna have to tie him down for his own safety. Dean?' The eldest Winchester was staring at his brother in shock, not moving. 'You with me? Dean? Before he has another fit!'
'Yeah.' Dean gasped. 'Yeah. Let's get it over with.'
He pushed Sam back onto the cot, looping the restraints around his wrists. Bobby went for his feet and Alex watched as they secured Sam down. She felt sick watching, and turned away, unable to accept this. She should have stopped him doing this ages ago, then they wouldn't be in this position.
If they'd never found her, maybe none of them would be in this position.
She fled, leaving her brothers and uncle to it.
Sam blinked. He was alone in the panic room. Dean and Bobby had been here...but now they were gone. They'd had to tie him down, for his own protection. He remembered things but wasn't sure what was real and what was his demon blood induced hallucinations.
The door to the panic room opened and Alex stepped in quietly, a bowl of water and a towel in her hands. She shut the door behind her and moved over to the bed.
'Hey, little brother.'
Sam sighed in relief. 'I'm taller than you.' He quipped in the same way he always did. Alex smiled and sat down beside him, placed the bowl the other side of him. She dipped the towel in the bowl and soaked it, squeezing the excess water as she brought it up to Sam's forehead. He relaxed a little under the cool temperature, smiling gratefully. 'Thanks.'
'You're looking like you're in pretty rough shape, Sammy.' She said quietly, her hand gripping his shoulder. 'Really wish you'd listened to me.'
'I know. I screwed up. I'm sorry.'
'It's okay. You can't help it.' Her words made him frown, and he focused on her. She looked down at him with sympathy, and something flashed in her eyes. 'Don't worry. Dean hates me too. I mean, his freak sister with an angel's grace inside her, and his freak demon brother. We're both monsters.' She sighed, pulling the towel away from his forehead. 'Maybe we should just leave together.'
'Alex, what are you -' He was cut off as she laid her head on his chest.
'You can be the big brother for a change. It'll just be me, you and James. We'll go hide and let Dean carrying on fighting demons.' She smiled up at him. 'He's only gonna hunt us in the end anyway.'
'I don't - what are you saying?'
'We'll be family.' She sounded excited by the idea. 'Just us monsters, right?'
It wasn't Alex. Oh, it looked like Alex, from the battered old boots and torn up jeans, to the humorous t-shirts she favoured and the brunette hair scraped into a ponytail. His hallucination looked exactly like his big sister. But it wasn't her.
'No one even has to know we're related. You could be James' dad. We'll be a normal family of monsters. Away from all this.' She stroked his chest. 'And if you still wanna do the demon blood thing, that's cool. I don't mind.'
Sam shut his eyes. 'Go away.'
Alex pouted at him, but he didn't open his eyes and she sat up. 'What's the matter, Sammy? I thought you liked running away?'
'No. Leave me alone.'
'Dean doesn't want you here. He doesn't want me here either.'
'He's our brother. He loves us.'
'No he doesn't. He doesn't love us. He's just like Dad.'
She carried on talking, and Sam desperately tried to ignore her.
Alex stared at the suitcase on her bed, with her clothes inside it. It was gone 2am, and she'd packed and unpacked half a dozen times. She was torn; she could run, and pretend this hadn't happened - she had enough time to outrun Dean, but she was reluctant to wake James and make him leave in the middle of the night. She'd done this before, when it had been just her. She'd walked out on Dean and Dad, and they hadn't found her then.
Dean would look harder this time, but she was good at not being found. He'd be too busy with everything else.
Avoiding Castiel would be harder. She knew how to ward against the angels but one step outside and he'd find them. But maybe she'd threatened him enough to leave them alone. He wouldn't tell Dean where they were, seeing as they were barely friends.
She pulled a shirt from the suitcase, refolded it and put it back in. She stood back and stared again.
'You planning on runnin'?'
Bobby's voice made her jump, and she spun like she'd been caught doing something wrong by a parent. She looked between him and the suitcase, and then looked at the floor. 'Was thinking about it.'
'You gonna wake that little boy up in the middle of the night and run?' She couldn't look at him. 'I mean, Dean's asleep, and Sam is hallucinating his ass off, but you could probably sneak out. I'm not gonna stop you if that's what you really want, Alex.'
'Bobby, I -'
'But you're gonna be hard pressed to explain to that kid why he can't see his uncles again.' He sighed, moving forward to place a hand on her shoulder. 'Just keep in touch yeah? Let me know you're okay from time to time.'
Alex dissolved into tears, and flung herself at her uncle. 'Oh, god, Bobby, I can't run. I can't. I just - I don't know what to do. Sam is sick, and Dean is...he's just so...' She sobbed loudly into his shirt, and Bobby brought his arms up to hold her. 'I'm sorry.'
'You ain't got nothin' to be sorry for, kiddo. This shit is hard, real hard. Add James into it and it's a scary mess. You're good to fall apart once in a while.' He shushed her, letting her cry on his shoulder. 'Just warn me first, okay?'
'I'm not gonna leave.' She whispered. 'But staying is...hard.'
'Always is, kiddo. Always is.'
A sound from the yard filtered in through the open window, and both of the hunters looked up. Bobby turned and bolted from the room, and Alex went in the opposite direction, throwing herself through the window and down the drainpipe at the side of the house. She was ahead of Bobby as they ran towards the source of the noise and found Sam trying to hotwire a car.
'Uh-uh, Sam. The only place you're going is back inside with us.' Bobby said, aiming a shotgun at the youngest Winchester sibling.
'No.' He defiantly replied.
'Damn it, boy.'
'You won't shoot me, Bobby.' Sam's voice was shakey.
'Don't test me.'
Sam wobbled on his feet. 'You won't do it. You can't do it.' He looked to Alex. 'You won't hurt me.'
'We're trying to help you, Sam.' She said quietly, her hunting knife in her hand. She was prepared to use the hilt to knock him out. Sam lunged forward and held the shotgun so Bobby could only shoot point blank at him.
'Then shoot.'
Bobby hesitated, and Sam yanked the gun from his grip and landed a solid punch on the older man's temple that knocked him clean out. Alex rushed her brother, and he turned, grabbing her by the throat. 'You were right.' He said. 'We should have run.' He knocked the knife from her hand. 'I'm sorry, Alex, but I have to do this alone.'
'Sammy.' Alex choked out, struggling for breath where his big hand was crushing her windpipe. 'Sammy, please.'
He brought his fist up and knocked her out, leaving her in the dirt next to Bobby.
And then he was gone.
