Pirates Pals II: Bonjour Paris!

Chap 9— Non Omnis Moriar: The Phantom Manor

A/N: A Quick update for my special reviewers: ibelieveintruelove, Jaqueline, Captain-Chartman, Teepirategirl, and Kitty...along with you readers!

Jack's Log Book

Pirate Pals' Committee--Report of: Disneyland Paris—Frontier Land

Still The Afternoon Report, recorded by William Turner Junior

Jack's Scribbling: OK! We know you write it, but how many times do you have to write your name? It's MY Logbook, savvy?

We approached the Phantom Manor (known as Haunted Mansion elsewhere) next. The building itself was gigantic, scary-ish, made of bricks with a number of doors. In front, there was a plague, which showed the attraction's name. Liz, still recovering from her post-Indiana-Jones-Roller-Coaster-Ride-Fright, held on tight to my hand, giving Jack and Tom an opportune moment to whistle, embarrassing both her and me.

Jack's Scribbling: Will, it's just friendly teasing, come on. Even Tommy knew that.

"Will?" Liz called, looking up at me. "It's a ride through this haunted manor, right? No roller coasters?"

I laughed when I realized what she was asking. "Ouch!" There, she smacked my arm again. "What?" I grinned, and then waved my hand at the plague. "Sure, Liz! No roller coasters, promise, but there are ghosts…"

"Cross your heart and hope to die?" she joked, giggling with me and holding her pinky finger up.

"Aye," we linked our pinky fingers and shook hands on it.

Jack's Scribbling: If someone didn't stop writing about this 'thing,' I am so going to tease him forever.

At last, the queue moved closer, and Tom started chatting. "You ever wondered why—" he was posing a question when…

"No!" Jack's voice interrupted sarcastically. "I don't," he said in a mocking tone, "'ever wondered' like you, mister Tommy." Jack ended with a smile for his fiend.

Tom tried to smile, his self-esteem a bit lower than normal because of Jack, ignoring said person and continued. " This manor's in Frontier Land, of all places, when it could have been in---" Liz went 'dreamy eyed' for a moment. "—Let's say, Fantasy Land?"

"Well, because the owner built it here? DUH, Tommy, I thought YOU, of all people, would have known!" Here Jack went again. Liz and I sighed as our response.

Tom answered through gritted teeth this time. "See, there was a town here called Thunder Mesa, and the owner and builder of this Manor was called Henry Ravenswood," Jack produced a very annoying fake snoring sound, which was ignored by Tom. My compliments to him…

"One day, there was an earthquake, which, from tales told, was caused by restless spirits in the Thunder Mine, and which forced all residents to move out, as well as put Henry into poverty. Now," Tom stood up, lowering his voice. He sure knew how to interest his audience. Where was he adopted? A theater?

"Henry had a daughter, Melanie, and when it came the time for her to choose a groom, she chose an engineer, who was preparing to leave the town with her. Of course, Henry wouldn't have it that way. No! However, the old man vanished," he made the expression with his hands, causing Liz to gasp in surprise.

Jack's Scribbling: Aye, Liz, it was SO enchanting. NOT.

"A mysterious cloaked figure, known as the Phantom, instead hung the groom by the rafters in the attic. Melanie refused to take off her wedding dress, waiting for her dead suitor, while 999 other ghosts moved in. Since then, the Ravenswood Manor gained the name of 'the Phantom Manor,'" Tom ended with a bow.

Liz and I clapped for him, me commenting, "That's great, where did you hear it from?"

"Internet, Turner, used the world-wide-web! It's 21st century, for goodness's sake," he shook his head, patting my shoulder.

Jack's Scribbling: Basic stuff, Will.

"Poor, poor Melanie. You wouldn't do that, would you, Dad?" Liz looked back at her father, who gave an 'ahem' sound. "It's far too early to be discussing that stuff, darling, and you know it's not entirely proper to—erm—discuss in front of a group of young men…"

Jack's Scribbling: He'd faint if he knew what Will and Liz were up to. (Just kissing…ha-ha)

Liz rolled her eyes, mouthing, "That's my dad." She continued. "Anyways, Tom, it sure was only a make believe, and I hardly believe in ghost stories anymore."

Finally we got in.

Jack's Scribbling: Finally YOU begin writing what's really important.

A plague was in sight, which read, "The Phantom Manor Non Omnis Moriar," I whispered to Liz. "It's Latin, means 'I will not die completely," Liz smiled. "You're smart, Will,"

I blushed. "Not really." She pointed around the spot. "Ew! It's so dirty and grimed here. Look at it, weeds, dead vegetation, and all…"

"And the out-of-tune music box…" Jack added.

Then a servant appeared, leading us into the foyer, where there was a chandelier and suddenly a voice rang. "Ha, ha, ha, welcome, welcome to the Phantom Manor!"

It was the ghost host's voice, welcoming us! Hair rising…

Jack's Scribbling: …for the weak souls…

We were led into an octagon room with four portraits of a young woman. In one, she picks flowers; in the second, she holds a parasol; in the third, she steps through a stream; and in the final portrait, she is having a picnic with her fiance.

Jack's Scribbling: Ah, how nice. The real thing's next! Muhahaah.

Oh no! After the host asked us if the room stretched, it REALLY did, and all the lights went off. Lightening and screams were heard. Liz, I, and Tom crowded together, while Jack grinned in the dark. "Wicked, this is what I've been waiting," he said.

Jack's Scribbling: Great technique, that one. A Cast member told me later it was a lift.

Then the ceiling went invisible! Tom gasped in amazement as the corpse of the groom hanging by the rafters was revealed. "WAAAH!" we all screamed, when the lights came back again and another door opened, leading on to a hall with lots of portraits.

The beautiful portraits morphed! The knight and his horse on a cliff into a ghost; the young woman in a temple into the MEDUSA; the ship sailing across the sea into a ghost ship through a storm ("COOL!" Jack whispered. "Quite like the sound of that, 'the immortal Captain Jack Sparrow, sailing the seas forever, free forever!" To note, he was the only delighted one. The rest of us freaked out.) Lastly, the reclining woman into a were-panther, which Liz remarked, "Freaky!"

At the end of the corridor, we sighted Melanie's portrait. "Oh, so that's her," said Liz. "She was beautiful!" Jack rolled his eyes.

Now we were off to the buggies. Liz sat with me, Jack with Tom (unwillingly, of course, but the Gov preferred sitting alone). An audio-animatronic of young Melanie was bowing to us. Guz.

Jack's Scribbling: It's an animatronic, duh, what's to be scared of?

We then saw: moving suits of armor ("Oh my God," gasped Tom. Jack shrugged. "I've seen scarier stuff.) Melanie appearing and disappearing ("I know you're beautiful, but please stop appearing. I've seen enough, I've—" Liz kept repeating as the buggie went on.); A shadow of a phantom pianist playing the piano. ("I—I thought it played by itself; brrrr!" I whispered inaudibly to the shaking Liz.); a number of doors, with pounding, squeaking, knocking, shouting behind each ("Ahhhh! How many ghosts are in here?" yelled Tom, mortified.)

Jack's Scribbling: Hmm, let me see…I thought YOU told us there were, how many? 999, you said? Was that it?

Above the last door, there were two skeletal hands wrenched at the top. ("Skeletons, interesting!" Jack muttered, pleased with himself, and still remained calm.) Our buggies passed a hall with a demonic grandfather clock, which had hands spinning backwards and a large 13 on its face. ("Not a good number, I tell you, NOT…" Tom squeaked.)

Jack's Scribbling: It's a lucky number to me.

Basically we passed a ballroom, where a ghostly wedding involving Melanie singing, the Phantom laughing, ghostly guests (some drunk), and an organist. "You best start believing in ghost stories now, Mrs. Turner, you're in one!" Jack teased as we entered Bride's Boudoir with an aged Melanie in front of a skull-shaped mirror.

We flew out into the graveyard, hearing an undead dog growl. Jack, looking scared for once, whispered, "Good Doggie, Good Doggie," Entering the Canyon, we saw the sheriff, mayor (his hat came off with his head! Terrifying!), a bandit, a deathly drug store, an invisible poker game, and, at last, Melanie's corpse pointing the way out.

Jack's Scribbling: I will NOT say a thing about the dog.

Liz breathed. "Thank God…"

Cast Members disembarked us off the buggies, but as we traveled upward, a tiny animated figure of Melanie appeared, telling us to 'hurry back' and 'bring back our death certificates', at which point Tom fainted dead right away.

Jack's Scribbling: Even Liz didn't faint, and you did? Wow!

"Tom, Tom!" Liz and I hurried to his side, pulling him up. "You ok?"

"Fine…phew, what a ride…" he uttered, while Jack boasted. "Heh, it's nothin' new to me!"

Come to the Manor for a spooky and thrill-filled ride, if you dare!

Jack's Scribbling:Yeah, note the last part, 'IF you dare!'

CAPTAIN JACK'S RIDE FACTS

Queuing Time: Ok, at least Tom's stupid story helped pass the time.

Animatronics: Hugely believable, or else my poor little fiend wouldn't have fainted. Thanks to them, by the way. Tee hee. Besides, Liz and Will were freaked out.

Fun: 10 out of 10! Scary stuff to chase the passenger away, and all rooms were thoughtful of them. What a haunting Manor!

Spookiness and thrills: Unless you were a cursed skeleton, which would have no feelings whatsoever for this ride, thinking it was just another 'friendly' visit to your ghost pal's party, I would have to say normal mortals would be scared to death. Hyperbole…just kidding…

Speed: Fine. I mean, you see everything in time to be spooked, right?

Overall View: What'd you get when you combine a dead bride's ghost, her mansion, 999 other ghosts, and the Phantom? The famed scary, thrilled-filled Phantom Manor ride!

Views from fellow members:

Will—A word about the ride? I could tell the whole story! It was the freakiest thing I've ever been on. Too real ghosts and phantom manor recreations, as well as audio sound effects, lightening, and special effects. I was—spooked.

Liz—If only Melanie would stop appearing and disappearing, I'd be fine. (When asked about the town, stretching room, ballroom, etc…) No! I am not fine with those! Town's filled with ghosts, even ones playing invisible poker (she shuddered); the stretching room's weird, as well as the ballroom. Who would have that kind of wedding?

Tom—I—Og—couldn't have expected it to be scarier than this. Og! Ghosts, paintings, furniture, garden!

Liz's Expenses of the Day Section

There wasn't a shop near there, so we didn't buy a thing. Good for me, bad for Jack, who complained all the way, 'I wished that,' 'I wished this…' So annoying. When we'd reached the Big Thunder Mountain Ride, everyone in our group could recite what Jack wanted (a ghost key chain and a T-Shirt). Will didn't say anything—Tom simply whimpered, "Not more ghostly stuff…"

He jumped in fright when Jack got back behind him, yelling, "BOO!"

Ha.

A/N: Yes, a long one!

Of course, the next ride's Big Thunder Mountain—get ready for a splash, everybody!

Again, cookies for all you lovely reviewers and readers!

Thanks,

Your ever humble fanfic writer :).