Author's Note:
Thank you to everyone who left a review! I replied to everyone at the bottom. This chapter is a little shorter than usual, but chapter X is a lot longer than normal. I think that the lull of safe, happy, Meredith and Derek will be being shook up soon...
MATURE CONTENT AHEAD! WARNING!
Thanks!
Chapter IX
"…Now if we're talking body
You've got a perfect one, so put it on me
Swear it won't take you long
If you love me right
We love for life, on and on and on…"
~ "Talking Body" – Tove Lo
December 11, 2005
"What's this about?" Meredith demanded as she and Cristina came to stand quietly off to the side with Burke and Derek, "We were just getting ready to begin rounds with Bailey. Can't he just send out a freaking email like a normal person if he has big news?"
It was barely eight in the morning and they'd already finished their first surgery of the day with Burke. A valve replacement surgery that had gone off without a hitch and it had left both women craving more. Being paged to the surgical waiting room for a meeting had not been in their plans for the day and they were both put off by the interruption.
"No idea," Derek said as she stood in front of him while Yang stood in front of Burke. "All we got told was to meet the chief in the East Surgical Wing Waiting Room after surgery."
"You two know anything about this?" Burke questioned and both women looked over their shoulders at their mentor. The Cardio God raised his eyebrows at them and waited with an expectant look on his face.
"We've been with you all morning," Cristina scoffed as she turned her head to look at the chief. "What makes you think we know anything?"
"You two have a knack for knowing things before others," Burke replied with a grin. "I still haven't figured out how, but you do. You two and Bailey…it's scary how you know everything."
Cristina grinned, "You really think I'm going to tell you?"
"You won't, but I'll get back at you later."
"Oh, bring it."
The chief cleared his throat and stepped up a few steps on the stairs so everyone could see him. Meredith opened the chart that she'd been carrying with her. Denny Duqeutte was there for a heart transplant and both she and Cristina had gotten in on it. Rounds the day had been awkward with Izzie flirting heavily with Denny and it had been uncomfortable watching. Meredith knew that Alex had feelings for the blonde model, but seeing Izzie ignore Alex had been hard to watch. She couldn't figure out what Alex saw in Izzie, but Meredith felt protective of the man and she knew that Yang felt the same. Cristina had already told Alex to move on, but Alex hadn't cared for the advice.
"I called all residents, interns, and attendants down here to discuss work hours. The residency review board stated that the work hour limit for all residents and interns is eighty hours a week, no longer. Too many mistakes happened this past year and exhaustion played a large role in that. We will be enforcing those rules. Attendings, it is your job also to excuse your residents when it appears that they have reached those hour limits," Webber said in a clear, calm voice.
"Oh, please," Cristina mumbled next to Meredith. "We came here for this? You and me do a hundred hours like it's not a problem."
Suppressing a grin, Meredith felt her jaw drop a moment later when Webber called out her and Yang's names.
"Grey-Shepherd, Yang, both of you can go home. You've been here all night and all of yesterday. Grey, it's supposed to be your day off and I don't know why you're here. Both of you have reached your eighty hour limit for the week. We'll see you on Monday," Webber said to them and put his hands on his hips as he stared them down. "When I say go home, I mean that you leave the hospital. You cannot observe surgeries and you cannot participate in skills lab either. Go home. Get some sleep. The rest of you, we will let you know once you hit your limit. That's all. Have a good day, everyone."
Webber walked away and Meredith turned around to look at Derek with wide eyes as the crowd began to dispense. People whispered all around them about the new rules as well as Meredith and Cristina's dismissal until Monday. Meredith ignored the whispers as she put her hands on her hips and shook her head in disbelief.
"What the hell am I supposed to do at home?" Meredith asked with a worried tone, "Seriously?"
"You're mother's things still have to be sorted through," Derek suggested kindly as he mimicked her bodies position with his hands on his hips. "I'm sure there are lots of things that you can do. You can unpack your things. Make the house feel like home to you. Read a good book. Catch up on TV…there's lots of things you can do. Take the day off, Meri. Enjoy yourself, it'll be nice."
"I'm not domestic," Meredith snapped sounding a bit hysterical. "Have I ever been domestic? The entire time you've been with me, have I ever been domestic?"
"No," he replied in a calm voice. "It's not a big deal, Meredith. It's just time off. Enjoy it."
"It's Friday, right?"
"Yes," Burke confirmed as Cristina looked just as lost as Meredith.
"That's three days of nothing to do," Meredith hissed at Derek. "I'm gonna go crazy. Literally, off the walls crazy!"
"GREY! YANG!" Webber yelled from the nurse's station. "Get going! I don't want to see you until Monday!"
"I'll call you after my surgery," Derek said as he kissed her cheek. "Get some of the Christmas stuff out to decorate the tree tonight like you wanted to. It'll be fun, I promise. We'll get dinner later. Go out, have a good time…it'll be fun."
"Quit saying everything will be fun," Meredith snapped. "This is not okay."
Derek simply grinned in amusement at her as he walked towards the elevators to go to his surgery. Burke pulled Cristina into a conference room as Meredith turned on her heel and walked towards the intern locker rooms. She had almost hoped that Derek would have invited her to observe his surgery. He was a good rule breaker, but alas, he'd failed her. Within an hour, Meredith found herself at a Macy's department store not far from their house…shopping for Christmas ornaments. She had no desire to go back to the storage unit they rented and sort through their things. It would bring up too many memories of the depressing Christmas the year before. Quickly buying several different kinds of bulbs and lights, Meredith returned home and was greeted by Cristina sitting on her front doorstep with a saucy grin on her face.
"What are you doing here?" Meredith asked as she unlocked the front door and let Cristina into the house. Beau looked up from the dog bed he was resting on and jumped excitedly as he raced towards Cristina. The woman caught the dog with ease and picked him up.
"Burke might have pulled some strings with Bailey for us," Cristina grinned as she held the dog. "How do you feel about a trip to Twin Falls, Idaho?"
"Idaho…to retrieve the heart for Denny Duquette?" Meredith asked as dropped her expensive canvas tote down on the kitchen counter, "That Idaho trip?"
"Yep," Yang grinned. "Burke got us seats on the jet. We just have time to kill before it leaves."
"Great," Meredith said with excitement as she held out the keys to her car. "I have shopping bags in the back seat. Can you get them?"
"You're due in like five weeks and you're flying?" Meredith questioned Bailey as they stepped onto the plane.
"You got a problem with the Grey?"
"No, I'm just surprised."
"Both of you shut up," Bailey said as she settled into her seat. "I want to sleep on this trip. So talk quietly among yourselves and leave me the hell alone."
Meredith grinned as she strapped herself in the row Cristina sat in. A seat separated them as Cristina took out a text book they'd been studying together on cardio surgeries. She had the same exact book in her bag and they'd been working on learning the procedures together since they'd first bonded over their mutual love. It also had helped to ease the social difficulties they both faced in being married to attending.
Throughout the flight, Meredith felt unfocused and missed two questions that Yang had tossed her way. Both were questions that she'd known and she kicked herself for not paying more attention. Meredith felt herself distracted by Bailey's pregnant stomach. Maybe it was because she'd lost her own child a year ago and felt taunted by fate. She couldn't help but think about that baby and wonder how exactly her life would be different if the baby had lived.
"You alright?"
Looking over at Cristina, Meredith nodded. Cristina didn't pry, but threw another hard question her way. It made Meredith grateful as she answered the question with ease and pushed any thoughts of her baby away. They had a job to do. Denny was expecting them to retrieve his heart and not be distracted by anything. She needed to focus and Bailey's pregnant body would not distract her. She refused to think about the baby she'd lost.
It was late when Derek got home. Beau was sleeping on his bed and didn't lift his head when Derek opened the front door. The house was dark and going to the kitchen, Derek flipped on the lights and stopped in his tracks seeing the kitchen table stacked high with laundry. It was obvious that Meredith had found something to do in the form of cleaning. Opening the refrigerator, Derek was shocked to find that it too had been cleaned out and new groceries were inside. Closing the doors, a note on the front caught his eye.
D-
Went to Idaho with Yang to retrieve a heart for Burke's patient. Be back soon. Please, put laundry away. Love you!
-M.
"Surgical junkie," Derek chuckled to himself as he took out his cell phone and dialed Burke's cell phone.
"Doctor Burke," Derek greeted when the man answered on the second ring. "I have a surgical junkie for a wife and you're enabling her."
Burke chuckled and quickly explained that he'd arranged to have both women go with Bailey simply to keep them out of trouble. Derek agreed with him that left to their devices, Meredith and Cristina would have easily found trouble. It had been a strategic move on Burke's part and it had been a good move. Derek long since accepted that Meredith wasn't like other women. She was her own person and she wasn't like any other woman he'd ever been with before he'd married her. She was passionate and chased after what she wanted and she'd found a kindred spirit in Yang. The two of them were like twins that could finish each other's sentences and shared a love of surgery that went deep. Ending his brief phone call with Burke, Derek shook his head as Beau came rushing into the room wanting to be fed.
"You're mom is a total surgical junkie," he told the dog as he set a small serving of food down on the floor. "I think she learned it from me."
Going to the living room, Derek took out the fake tree that Meredith had obviously bought earlier in the day and tried to figure out where the best place to put it would be. Within ten minutes, he heard the front door open. Meredith walked into the living room and smiled at him.
"Hey!" she said as she kissed his cheek. "How was your day?"
"Good," Derek told her. "I got your note. How was Idaho?"
"Okay," Meredith shrugged. "Denny didn't get the heart. It was too damaged, but I got to go and I studied with Yang for most of the time. It was fun. You were right, I'd find something to do that was fun."
"You also did laundry."
"That wasn't fun," she grinned at him.
"And grocery shopped."
"Yes, that wasn't fun either."
"And bought Christmas decorations for the house…"
"You know what that was actually kind of fun."
"You've been busy," he grinned as he took a beer out of the refrigerator. "I told you that you'd find something to do."
Meredith shook her head at him and dropped her bag onto the coffee table and quickly helped him put the tree together. It took them an hour, but Meredith and Derek finished the Christmas tree that stood in their front window and stepped back to look at their work. Christmas had always brought mixed emotions up for both of them. She had never been into the celebration thing, but Derek had. The past few weeks had been hard on both of them. They were both tired and exhausted and it just didn't feel like Christmas without their family surrounding them.
"We have to talk about the sex thingy," she announced as the stood next to each other. "You were half asleep when we talked about it."
"I thought we agreed to have sex."
"We should just do it. Rip it off like a band-aid," Meredith said as she rubbed the back of her neck nervously with her hand.
"Then let's do it," Derek said as he looked at her with a grin. "Like a band-aid."
"Here? In the living room?"
"Where's your sense of adventure?" he whispered as he hooked his fingers in the front two belt loops of her jeans and pulled her closer to him. Meredith breath hitched as his fingers slid beneath the fabric of her sweater and touched her bare skin. Pure heat pooled between her legs as he lowered his head. The first time his lips touched hers, he was hesitant. It was as if Derek wasn't sure she wanted him to her, but she did. God, Meredith did and she quickly brought her hands up to cup his cheeks.
It was like an explosion happening between them. Meredith wasn't sure how they'd made it to the couch, but they had. His lips were warm and firm against hers and his tongue battled hers for dominance. He undid the button and zips of her pants and Meredith kicked them away as she pulled him down with her to the couch. His lips traveled away from hers and Meredith panted feeling the stubble of his jaw against her skin. The feeling alone sent shock waves through her body. Her hands explored his back as his hands slid under the soft silky fabric of her sweater.
In a heartbeat, they had both rid her of the sweater and with his lips on her neck, Derek undid the clasps on the back of her bra. It was almost painful as Derek slowly pulled the straps down her shoulders. Meredith breathed unevenly as her breasts were exposed to the night time air. She couldn't stand his lips being away from hers and she couldn't stand his state of dress.
Derek's own blue sweater was quickly tossed aside with Meredith's. She made quick work of the buttons on the dress shirt that he'd worn under the sweater to work. Feeling his bare skin under hers only excited her further and Meredith kissed him with ardor as he pushed her back into the couch cushion. His lips traveled with his hands over her ribs and to her breasts as her hands explored his body just as eagerly as he explored hers.
Meredith gasped loudly with need as his hands lightly cupped her breasts. His thumbs brushed back and forth over her nipples and she bit her lips to stop herself from moaning loudly. The heat that had been between her thighs had become a raging inferno need and she was desperate for his touch. Meredith moaned wantonly as Derek pressed himself into her. She could feel his hardness through his jeans and it was unfair that he was still clothed. Reaching between them, Meredith quickly undid the button and zipper of his jeans as he pressed his kissed against her shoulder and neck. He shifted his hips and kicked the jeans away to join her pants as well.
Derek slowly licked and kissed his way down her sternum and Meredith arched her spine up and grasped at his hair when he slowly swirled his tongue around her areola before brushing his tongue over the hardened peak of her nipple. His hand slipped between them and Meredith's toes curled when she felt his thumb brush against her clit through her panties.
"Derek," she moaned. "Oh, God…"
The pleasurable tension coiling low in her belly was nearly unbearable. Her hips began moving on their own volition needing more friction from his thumb as well as he kissed her breasts. Her fingers weaved into his hair as she was moaned beneath him in desperate need of fulfillment. She could feel her toes curling…she was so close…
He moved to her other breast and took her nipple in between his teeth and with every flick of his tongue over the tip, his thumb brushed hard against her clit. Just as Meredith was so close to falling over the edge in to abyss of blinding pleasure, the sound of a pager going off forced them apart and she groaned in frustration as Derek sat up and reached for his pager.
"I have to go," he breathed. "It's a 9-1-1."
Meredith nodded and was unable to say anything. Topless, and propped up on the couch with elbows, her lace panties soaking wet, Meredith watched Derek dress quickly and promise not to wake her up when he returned. Hearing the door close as he rushed out, Meredith threw herself down on the couch. She was sure she'd never been more sexually frustrated in her entire life.
December 12, 2005
Meredith hit the button to the call the elevator. Her night had been unbearable after Derek had left. All she'd been able think about was Derek being naked with her and how close they'd been to having sex. All the doubts that she'd been having about whether or not having sex was a good idea had been tossed out the window. She hadn't realized how desperate she'd been for his touch and kisses until he'd started kissing her. The elevator doors opened and an exhausted Derek stood there with his arms crossed of his chest. He looked up at her and gave her a half hearted smile. Stepping on, Meredith moved to stand in front of him and shook her head.
"How was surgery?"
"Bad," Derek murmured as he pinched the bridge of his nose. "The kid tried to race a semi-truck off a get off ramp on the highway. I don't know if he'll ever walk again. I tried to repair the damage as best I could…we'll just have to wait to see if he wakes up. I thought you weren't allowed to come in until Monday, what are you doing here?"
"Sloan paged me," Meredith said as she held out the large coffee she'd stopped to pick up. "There was a car accident this morning and I guess he needs help with something. He just told me to get my ass here ASAP. You need this more than I do."
"Thanks," Derek mumbled as he took the coffee. "I'm going home to sleep and put the laundry away from yesterday."
"I took care of the laundry last night," Meredith murmured back. "I needed something to do after…"
"About that—" Derek started, but she interrupted him.
"I don't want to talk about it. I really don't want to think about that because you're in that stupid ferry boat scrub cap and I don't want to get in trouble for jumping you in the elevators," she said quickly.
"We could finish that tonight," he suggest with a flirty grin.
"Are we seriously scheduling when we'll have sex now?" Meredith asked him with shock in her voice. "I refuse to do that. We're not at that point yet. We're not old. We are young and fun and we have sex whenever we want."
"We've been married seven years. We're old in the eyes of the world. We're an old couple who schedule sex."
"I'm not old, Derek Shepherd," she replied sharply. "You're old."
"You're right. You're beautiful and thank you for the coffee," Derek told her before he pressed a quick kiss to her lips. "I love you."
The elevator stopped at the floor he needed and he stepped off, leaving her alone to deal with the heat pooling between her hips. A resident walked up to him and held up a scan as the doors closed.
"Damn him and that stupid scrub cap," Meredith mumbled as she was left alone.
Quickly changing into a tank top and scrubs, Meredith found Mark in the scrub room waiting to get into the surgery that he'd paged her for.
"What's up? You paged." Meredith said to him as she walked into the scrub room.
"I need you to pop a guy's hip back into place. I heard from Bailey that you're the best besides Yang," Mark grinned as he adjusted his New York Yankees scrub cap. "It'll be fun. Not as fun as heart surgery, but it'll be fun."
"Everyone keeps telling me that everything will be fun," Meredith scowled as she began to scrub in with him. "It never is."
"I'm offended," Mark mocked as he pressed his foot the floor petal to turn the water on. "I get you a surgery on your day off and instead of kissing my ass, you're cranky."
"We got interrupted."
Mark's eyes went wide and a lecherous grin covered his face, "You got cock-blocked?"
"Some stupid teenager trying to beat a semi-truck on the highway. Derek doesn't know if the kid will be able to walk again, but he got paged 9-1-1 last night and I got left topless with nothing more than my panties on. So yeah, I'm allowed to be cranky today."
"Ouch," Mark winced, "That just sounds painful…the kid trying to beat the semi-truck, I mean."
"My night was painful," Meredith snapped at the plastics god. "You don't get to feel sorry for that kid! You're a Dirty Mistress. You feel sorry for me."
"Just come pop my hip in," Mark grinned. "You'll feel better."
"That's better than saying it will be fun," she sighed.
Stepping into the OR, Meredith took off her scrub top and let Mark help her up onto the operating table to stand. She was tiny, but she could pop joints together better than any other of the residents besides Yang. Standing there, Meredith looked at the x-ray that Mark had handed her and shook her head.
"You would think people would learn to wear a seat belt," she sighed as she handed the x-ray back to him.
"So they don't interrupt you and Shepherd while you're trying to do the horizontal tango?" Mark teased as he wore a grin behind his scrub mask.
"We got interrupted!" Meredith exclaimed as she stood on the OR table, "Stop laughing, Mark! It's like the universe hates me and God, I wanted sex!"
"Do it in the on-call room or better yet, get Shepherd drunk and take advantage. He'll be indisposed until he sobers up. It'll give you plenty of time to do him."
"That's your suggestion?" Meredith asked with a raised brow. "Get him drunk? What a horrible idea!"
Mark looked up at her, "Are you gonna pop that guy's hip back into place or are we going to talk about your nonexistent sex life all day? If so, I need to call Addie and tell her that I won't be there for lunch."
Meredith scowled at him and crouched down to reach for the leg. Before she could touch the leg, Derek walked into the OR.
"Don't touch him," he yelled and startled her. "He's my patient now."
Meredith raised her hands and remained crouching. She looked over at Sloan with a raised eyebrow before turning her head and looking back at Derek with a confused expression.
"What the hell, Shepherd?" Mark said as he looked around Meredith. "The guy has burns all over his chest and arms. What are you talking about? How is he your guy?"
"Don't move, Meredith," Derek said as he pointed up to her. "The resident missed a bleed on the scan. If we move the patient, he could develop a clot and become brain dead in a matter of minutes. Stay as still as you can. Even the slightest movement could kill him."
Staying as still as she could, she stared down at the table as a craniotomy was quickly set up for and Derek put on a gown and gloves.
"You want me to crouch on this table and not move?" Meredith questioned.
"Yes." Derek said as he looked up at her.
How long is this gonna take you?" she asked him with an arched brow.
"I don't know," he said in a serious tone. "But if you need water, ask for it. Falling could kill him. Just don't move, Meredith. Whatever you do, don't move."
"Can I stand?"
"No, the shift in weight could kill him," Derek answered with an apologetic tone in his voice.
"I can work around her," Mark told them. "I need to protect his flesh before the exposure makes the burns worse."
"As long as no one moves him," Derek agreed with a nod. "No movement. No bumping the table. Nothing…"
Meredith let out a long sigh as Mark looked up at her.
"I'll have someone run and get a shake for you," he grinned. "Your reward can be that. Better yet, I have Butterfingers in my office. Maybe you'll get sex later as a treat."
"Is that supposed to make me feel good?" Meredith demanded. "How about doing something about the fact that I'm cold?"
"Get Grey a gown," Mark called over his shoulder to a nurse as Derek began his surgery. For hours, Meredith crouched on the table. Unmoving, her legs had long since begun to ache at having to stay still. She desperately wanted to take off her shoes and rub the arches of her feet, but she couldn't. And God only knew that she had to pee, but she kept silent and didn't move. Derek kept all his focus on fixing the man on the table and said nothing to her as he and a resident worked together. He was ignoring her, which Meredith didn't mind one bit considering that she was silently reviewing all the skills that she and Cristina were working on in the skills lab. Anything to take away from the burning sensation in her legs that seemed like it would never stop. Meredith tried to relax and she took a deep breath that turned into a yawn.
"Done," Derek said as her eyes flashed open. "You can move, Meredith."
"While you're here, Shepherd," Mark said as Meredith shakily stood up and looked down at the table. "Help us pop this guy's hip into place."
Derek nodded and together, the two men and Meredith popped the patient's hip into place. Meredith looked down at the floor judging if she could slide down, but her legs had long since gone numb. Without having to say anything, Derek reached up and wrapped his hands around her waist. Putting her hands on his shoulders, Meredith stepped around the patient's legs before Derek helped her to the floor. Her legs felt like jelly, but she stepped back for him. Meredith didn't stumble when he let her go after a few seconds of standing on her legs. Walking to the scrub room, she sank down onto the metal stood there and let her head rest back against the wall.
"So, Doctor Grey," Derek said with a sparkle in his eyes as he crossed his arms and leaned against the sink. "How about you take advantage of me tonight in bed?"
Meredith snorted and stood up. Going to the sink next to him, she shook her head and began to scrub out as she tried to suppress a smile.
"I hate you."
"You love me," Derek corrected with a teasing grin. "You just don't like that Mark left the microphone on and I heard the entire conversation."
Drying her hands, Meredith looked at him with smile, "Have a good day, Doctor Shepherd. I'm going to find Burke and see if he has anymore cases for the day."
Meredith sank back into the bathtub tiredly. She rested her head back on the towel that she was using for a pillow and closed her eyes. The day had been long and Derek's impromptu surgery had taken all her energy. Her whole body ached from having to crouch for hours and the water was beginning to ease the ache that she'd had all through her shift. Hearing the door open, Meredith's eyes flashed open and she looked over the edge of the tub to see Derek leaning against the doorway. He smiled at her before walking in and crouching down next to the tub.
"I thought you should know that the patient, Mr. Bryce, he'll be okay," Derek murmured to her before he pressed a soft kiss to her lips.
"That's good," Meredith murmured when he pulled away. "I'm glad he'll be okay."
"Your crouching today was not in vein."
"I feel like I'm the one who was in a car accident, not Mr. Bryce."
"Not many people I know kick ass like you do. I heard you caught a tumor in one of Burke's cases," Derek grinned. "The tumor was nearly impossible to diagnosis."
"If you want sex, all you have to is ask, but hey, flattery will get you anything you want," Meredith teased with a tired smile. "Just not tonight. Tonight…I'm too exhausted, but tomorrow…"
Derek chuckled as he kissed her temple, "Tomorrow it is. Don't fall asleep."
"We've become old!" Meredith called after him as he stood up and began undoing the buttons on his shirt. "We're scheduling sex now. It's pathetic."
His laughter echoed as he walked out of the bathroom and left the door opened. Relaxing back into her bath, Meredith propped her feet up on the other end of the tub and decided that she wasn't going to do Sloan anymore favors in the OR. Every time that she had so far, it had ended badly for her. Closing her eyes, Meredith let the warm water do its job and ease the tension in her aching muscles as he body tingled delightfully in thoughts about the next day.
December 13, 2005
It was late Sunday morning when Meredith woke up beside Derek on the creaky bed they had. He was still asleep on his stomach next to her and she stared up at the ceiling. She had the day off and Richard had called to report last night that he and the nurses had come to an agreement. The strike that had been planned for the week had been called off and it was probably a good thing considering that Bailey had been put on bed rest for the next two weeks. She was due soon and it would be hard enough having a new resident. Meredith and Cristina had already come up with a plan to switch between Derek and Burke for surgeries until Bailey returned as their resident. Turning on her side, Meredith faced Derek and reached out. She brushed a stray strand of dark hair from his face and nearly winced as one of the metal coils from the mattress dug into her hip bone.
"We have to get a new mattress," Derek grumbled in his sleep as he hugged the pillow beneath him. "The beds in the on-call room are more comfortable."
"I know," Meredith sighed as she turned to lie on her stomach facing him. "We could today. I have nothing to do and I think you're free…right?"
"We can go get lunch," he mumbled without opening his eyes. "Go shopping…get it delivered for tonight."
"I like the way you think."
Derek's arm darted out and he grabbed her. Meredith nearly shrieked with laughter as he tugged her to him. His kiss silenced her and Meredith found herself smiling as he pulled away. Somehow, she'd become pinned under him and he hovered over her. His eyes with open and he was alert as he smiled down at her.
"I missed this more than anything," he admitted as he twisted a strand of her hair between his fingers. "I missed waking up next to you and falling asleep."
"Me too," Meredith whispered and the thought of never getting to have a moment like this again nearly made her cry. She didn't stop herself as she leaned up and pressed her lips to his. There was nothing that was going to stop her from having him again. Wyatt had been right about having intimacy. She did feel closer to Derek and she wasn't using sex for any other reason than she loved him. She wanted to be with him because she loved him. Their hands roamed each other's bodies and the clothing that they'd been sleeping was tossed away. She could feel his warm skin against her. His hardness pressed against her core as her legs spread with ease. He kissed along her neck and over her clavicle. His finger tips brushed over her skin as his hips ground against hers. The feeling made her breathless as she pressed her thighs to his hips and raised her own hips to meet his in a frenzy of pleasure. Their bodies' grinding against each other wasn't as good as the real act of sex, but it was so close. He knew just how to use his hips to bring her the pleasure she so desperately craved. Derek took one breast into his mouth. Swirling his tongue over her hardened nipple, Meredith gasped while arching her body towards him. Her fingernails dug into his back as her whole body trembled against the feeling of him. She could hear his own groans of pleasure vibrating through her body as the urgency between them increase.
Hands began running all over bodies and touching everywhere that they could possibly reach. She pulled his lips back to hers. Meredith could feel the heat that he was stirring inside spread everywhere. Derek blindly reached out and opened the nightstand drawer. His lips never left hers as he grabbed a condom and dropped it down onto the pillow next to them. Meredith almost demanded that he stop teasing her and screw her, but she stopped herself when his lips began descending down her body again.
"Relax," he said breathlessly against her thigh. "Good things come to those who wait."
She grinned before biting her bottom lip at the feeling of him kissing his way up her inner thigh before hovering over her hot, damp core. Meredith barely had time to catch her breath before he parted her folds with his tongue. She moaned loudly at the feeling as her knees bent and her toes curled. His tongue masterly manipulated her flesh, repeating the process over and over again until she was a writhing mess on the bed. The sheets were clenched tightly in her fists as Meredith panted, gasped and moaned at every sensation that rippled through her body. Her eyes rolled back into her head as Derek systematically reduced her body to a quivering, writhing mess on the sheets. Over and over he brought her close to edge, but satisfaction seemed just out of reach. He was teasing her and heaven above…Meredith could barely think straight let alone tell him to stop and give her what her body craved. Derek's hand joined his tongue and Meredith felt the coil low in her body beginning to give as she charged for the cliff.
A second later, she cried out in release as her vision blurred to nothing more than flashes of swirling color and light. Her chest rose and fell as she breathed harshly and gasped as spine tingling sensation that was firing through her body. Derek grinned down at her and just as he reached for the condom on the pillow next to them, his pager beeped on the nightstand.
"Damn it all to hell," Derek muttered as he reached for it.
"Don't say it," Meredith groaned. "Don't say what I think you're going to say."
"I have to go. It's a 9-1-1 page."
He quickly rose for the bed and dressed as Meredith grabbed the sheets and pulled them up around her body.
"This isn't finished," Derek told her as he leaned down and pressed a swift kiss to her lips. She could taste herself and she giggled when he pulled away.
"There are peppermint candies on the tray by the door," she told him as she pressed kisses against his neck. "Grab one on the way out."
Derek chuckled and in the next heart beat, he was gone. Falling back on the bed, Meredith let out a long sigh as she stared up at the ceiling fan going around and around in circles. They'd been so freaking close that it frustrated her to no end. Covering her eyes with her hands, Meredith groaned before she sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed. She wanted sex. She just wanted to have freaking sex because it had been so damn long she was beginning to wonder if she'd reached born-again-virgin status.
The thought made her almost laugh because she was pretty sure the universe was working against her and it didn't want to get laid.
December 14, 2005
Izzie Stevens had made an error and Meredith was paying for it. She sat beside a dying old woman and was forced to watch her leave the world. An Alzheimer's patient, the old woman had been calling out for her dead husband and daughter for the past few hours and Meredith held her hand tightly. It was becoming one of the hardest things that she'd ever done and it hurt. It hurt because Meredith knew that someday, it would be her mother in the bed.
"You don't have to be here."
Turning around, Meredith saw Addison standing in the doorway and shook her head.
"No deserves to die alone," Meredith whispered. "No one deserves to die alone late in the middle on the night."
Addie nodded and sat down next to her in the chair, "Stevens should have read the damn chart."
"She didn't. She made a mistake. We all do at some point. This is her mistake. She'll learn from this and become a better doctor. I have not lost faith in that."
"Stevens makes more mistakes than any other first year that I've met," Addison sighed as she collapsed down on the chair next to Meredith. "It's been…a long day."
"Is everything alright, Addie?" Meredith asked softly as she looked over at her oldest friend with concern. Addison was the first woman that she'd ever really gotten to know. Addison was the first real friend that Meredith felt like she'd ever had in her life. She was the woman that had been her maid of honor at her wedding and Addie had been the first person that Meredith had ever felt like she could really open up to and not be judged.
"I'm pregnant," Addison blurted out as she compressed her lips and smiled. "I'm pregnant and I'm terrified as hell that I'm going to lose this baby like I lost all the other ones. I haven't told Mark yet because I'm scared shitless. "
Standing, Meredith leaned over Addison and hugged her tightly.
"We'll get through this, Addie," she whispered confidently. "One day at a time, I promise."
She felt Addison's arms go around and her and for a few minutes, Meredith held her best friend because it was what Addison needed.
"I'm so scared," Addison whispered. "I'm so scared and I feel frozen. I want to be happy, but I'm afraid that if I do…"
"For today, Addie…everything is fine. Have you told Mark?"
"No."
"You should go," Meredith murmured as she pulled back and smiled at Addison. "Go tell Mark! He's gonna be so excited."
Addison smiled tearfully, "I know. He'll treat me like a piece of glass."
"Go!"
Meredith watched one of her best friends leave the room and turned back to watch the old woman in bed. The woman had no one and it broke Meredith's heart. If it were her or Derek, they wouldn't be alone. Their family would be surrounding them. Friends, family…nephews, nieces, sisters…they would all be there. Meredith could still remember the time that she'd had her tonsils taken and it made her almost smile. She and Derek had only been married six months, but his whole family had shown up before the surgery. All his sisters, their kids, spouses…everyone had come and supported her through the operation and they'd all brought ice cream for her. It had been overwhelming, but it had made her feel loved. It had been that moment when she'd truly believed that his family was also her family.
For nearly an hour, Meredith watched the old woman struggle to breathe until finally she stopped. Standing up, Meredith announced the time of death and with help from the nurses, they all managed to finish what they needed to do in a timely fashion before the morgue came for the body. Walking down the almost deserted hallway, Meredith found herself at the intern's locker room not quite remembering how she'd gotten there. Pushing the door open, Meredith went to the showers and took off her tennis shoes. Still in her scrubs, Meredith pulled the black plastic curtain behind her and turned the water of the shower on as hot as she could stand it. Steam permeated the air as she stood under the water and she didn't care that the water nearly burned her. It felt good to have something be uncomfortable besides her heart. Under the hot water, she cried. She felt her breath hitch every time she breathed and calling down seemed almost impossible. The strain of the past year and having to take care of Ellis seemed to feeling like the weight of the world. Going every week and listening to her mother's abuses hurt more than anything she'd ever thought possible, but she did it. She did it for one reason and it was because in some twisted, sick way, Meredith loved Ellis. She cared about the woman and she'd long since accepted that Ellis wasn't capable of love. Ellis wasn't capable of caring for anyone, but herself. Meredith had stopped expecting love from Ellis a long time ago, but being around Derek's family…being around Carolyn…Meredith had seen what a real family was like and it had devastated her in some ways. It brought resents forward now that she was back around Ellis again. Seeing Derek's family, it made her hate Ellis for letting her be denied that. It left Meredith feeling robbed.
Turning the water off, Meredith stepped out from the shower stall and came face to face with Izzie Stevens. The blonde woman wore an unreadable expression on her face and Meredith picked up her tennis shoes and walked past her without saying a word. Going to her locker, Meredith quickly stripped down bare and changed into her jeans and a dry pair of panties. She was silently gratefully that she'd worn Derek's NYU t-shirt to work. It was the school where they'd both done their undergraduate degree before going on to Columbia for medical school. The shirt was loose and comfortable and it smelt like him. It was almost like he was hugging her when she wore the shirt.
"Did that woman die?"
Hearing Izzie's soft voice, Meredith paused.
"Yes," she finally said after a moment of hesitation. "She's dead."
"She was DNR, wasn't she?"
"Yes."
Meredith slipped her wet bra off from underneath it and threw it into her tote before getting rid of the wet scrubs. She slipped her feet into the black ballet flats that she'd worn to work and turned to face Izzie with a tried expression on her face.
"You should have known that she didn't want to be tubed or had any extraordinary measures taken," Meredith said calmly. "You were her doctor. I've been here all evening watching that woman die because you left and the nurses needed someone to call time of death. She's dead and you are relieved of your responsibility to her."
Izzie was immediately on the defense, "I didn't mean to interrupt your precious time with McDreamy if that's what you think."
Meredith slammed the locker shut, "It's Doctor Shepherd to you, Doctor Stevens. You didn't interrupt my time with him. He's on call tonight and probably sleeping somewhere. Why don't you try doing your job instead of worrying about what I do with my husband when I'm not here at the hospital? I promise, he and I, we're very boring people. We like to hike and we have a dog. We watch Jeopardy while we eat take out on the nights we're both home and we occasionally used to kick a soccer ball around in New York when we had nothing better to do. We're very boring, very normal people, Izzie,despite what you think otherwise. He even does the dishes and changes the laundry when I'm not around. I'm a happily married, boring person. Have a good night."
There was more that Meredith wanted to say, but she stopped herself before walking out of the locker room and leaving Izzie alone. Knowing that Derek was probably sleeping in an on-call room for the night barring no emergencies, Meredith searched through the on-call rooms until she found him getting ready to lie down to sleep a few hours. Just seeing him standing there brought the tears she'd been trying to hold back to the surface and without warning, she threw herself into his arms and hugged him tightly.
"Hey, what's wrong?" he murmured as he held her tightly, "Why are you crying?"
"I don't want my mother to die alone," Meredith whispered to him after a moment. "I don't want her to die alone. I can't let her die alone. I know that she's horrible…but I can't let her die without…"
"I know," Derek said softly as his hand smoothed back her damp hair. "I know…you don't have to tell me. I know."
"Can I just stay with you?" she asked against his chest as she took a shuddering breath. "I don't want to go home. I don't want to be alone."
"Okay."
"Okay," she whispered back as Derek helped her to lie down with him. Tucked in his arms, Meredith felt his hand rubbing her back soothingly until she fell into a fitful sleep next to him. She was woken hours later by the sound of her beeper going off and Cristina's announcement that she'd caught them a case in the E.R. while being on-call.
So...if we make it to 200 reviews...I'll answer any questions answered and I won't be coy about it...ANY QUESTION you have...See you for a bomb soon!:)
Response to Reviews:
Patsy: Glad you loved the chapter! Yes, Christmas trees and sex is right around the corner. As for the bomb episode…you'll just have to wait and see…Thanks for the review!
Iceiceiceiceice: Thanks for the review! I'm so glad you like the story! More is on the way!:)
Guest #1: Thanks for the review! Glad you're liking the story! More is on the way!:)
Williamsm98: Thanks for the review! So glad that you're loving the story! I can't promise Shepherd sisters, but I can promise long chapters! More is on the way!
Khi33: It's good to hear from you for this chapter! Thanks for the review!
Two harts: Poor Meredith indeed, but Derek did show up:) Thanks for the review! Yes, they are getting better at being together and things are improving:)
Guest #2: I'm so happy that you liked the chapter! I know the show feels like it's over:( Still in shock. Thanks for the review!:)
Japa01: Thanks for the review! Updated! More is on the way!:) Enjoy!:)
Lourdi: Thanks for the review! They will be working on cases together in the future. I promise!
Oulipo19: How you enjoyed and your kids were easy on you going to sleep! Thanks for the review!:)
Lorenalims: Thanks for the review! I'm so glad that you love the story! I haven't given much thought about doing a spin-off. If I do, it won't be until after this story is finished! I'm glad that you like it and Mark and Addison do have some parts in this story, but I don't know if I'll do a parallel in this story, but Mark and Addie are in this story for good.
Ellen: Thanks for the review! I haven't given any thought to doing a Maddison Parallel in this story. I'm glad that you like Addison in this story:) Glad you're liking the story! More is on the way!:)
Melanie: Thanks for the review! Glad hat you're loving the chapter…yes, Meredith and Derek will be having a very good Christmas…I promise!:)
Julie: Yes! The drought is ending! Thanks for the review! More is on the way!
Chicagonp2012: Thanks for a review! Yes, they are getting to a better place and it's exciting. More is on the way! I promise! Enjoy!
Mcdreamyforever: You made it! So glad you decided to read! I promise, you won't regret it! Thank you for leaving a review! More is on the way!:)
Jennifer: Thanks for the review! You are right, they never did get a honeymoon, but we will be addressing that later. Derek will be making up for his badness, but not in this chapter. More is on the way! Glad that you're enjoying the story!
Carolyn: Yes, Meredith is in store for light saber time. Thank you for the review! More is on the way about Christmas!
Dora: Thanks for the review! Yes, love is on the way and nope to the fertility drugs, Addison is just pregnant and scared. More is on the way! So glad that you're loving the story!
DeniseSB: Thanks for the review! So glad that you've found the story! I'm glad that you're enjoying the story. To address your concerns:
Derek's repentance is too perfect. Keep in mind that he was trying to win Meredith back and instead of changing himself and working on himself like Meredith wanted him to, he kept groveling. It was his belief that if he said he was sorry enough times Meredith would forgive him…which she didn't. It took him following the rules she gave him and having therapy with Wyatt to finally change her mind. I think he does recognize what he's done wrong, but he had to grow as a person first through therapy with Wyatt to really understand how he hurt Meredith. Also, the verbal 'abuse' and neglect didn't happen until the last year. Meredith even talks about how they were happy before Derek overheard Addison's conversation with his sisters. He admits to being absent at times, but they were happy in many other ways.
As for Carolyn, I think that as a mother, she knows exactly what her son is capable of. You also have to remember, she was in New York with Meredith and Derek when their marriage was beginning to fall apart. She witnessed what happened and she knew that Meredith had the miscarriage and didn't tell Derek. I think that her being in support of both of them (because she does support her son over the lunch she had with him…Carolyn does tell him what he needs to do to fix things) was meant to help them both. As for the fairytale marriage, Savvy and Weiss only thought that because Meredith and Derek chose what they revealed to people. I think it would be much realistic that Carolyn would know all about the breakdown of her son's marriage than Savvy and Weiss.
Lastly, Wyatt didn't dictate anything. She specific asks Derek and Meredith if she's allowed to tell them what she THINKS of the rules. In the TV show, Wyatt is very vocal to Meredith and even tells her that she is reckless with her life. Wyatt even tells them that others disagree with her method and opinions, but Meredith and Derek BOTH AGREE to listen to what she has to say and go with it. When it comes to sex, Wyatt even tells them that if they're not comfortable, they don't have to do it. She even tells Meredith that she doesn't have to agree. I think that Wyatt is a little out there, but I felt like she was a little out there in the TV show.
As for Izzie…Izzie is the primary spreader of the gossip involving Cristina and Meredith. I needed someone to do it and it just felt natural that it would be Izzie. Alex is Meredith friend and O'Malley has a crush on her. Izzie just felt like the natural choice, but please don't think that Izzie is always going to be incompetent. She will be in the story in other ways, such as the Denny issue. (We will be addressing that later).
Thank you for the review! I hope this helped you to understand a little bit better what I was thinking when writing. I understand that many people have issues with this story, but I did want to break the mold of the 'fairytale' MerDer stories that seem to dominate this fandom. More is on the way! Enjoy!
See you soon! Leave a review!
EDITED 3/23/2013
