Robin walked into the bar and sat down, Ted said
"Hey, you've finally left the bedroom. I thought I'd have to pull you out."
"I might wanna go back later."
"I'll make sure I'm not there."
Future Ted: "The reason behind that was that about a week ago, Robin was left at the altar. She dealt with it much differently than I did. I moved on and pretended it didn't happen. Along with making sure I didn't run into her. Robin, she got a new friend. Not the traditional kind of friend, a special friend."
Robin's phone rang, she got a new text.
"Oh" she said kind of excited and read the message, Ted looked over and said
"Wow, that's really explicit."
"Oh let me see!" Said Barney excitedly and grabbed the phone and read the message "Niiice"
"You know what happens in this kinds of relationships. Someone always gets hurt."
Future Ted: "Damn it Lily, Why do you always have to be right."
"We set boundaries and rules. We'll be fine."
"No you wont be. Someone's gonna get hurt."
She got another message and said she had to go. A little bit later Barney had to leave.
A few days later
Future Ted: "It seemed as if Robin was always getting it on. But we all wondered who was she getting it on with? One day, we found out."
Ted, Marshall, and Lily walked into Ted's apartment to hear the sound of people having sex. Ted said,
"O my God! They have been getting it on for hours! Who the hell does she have in there?"
"Maybe a sex champion." Marshall said and the both looked at him like, what the fuck?
They were about to leave again when they heard someone scream.
They heard Robin from behind the door saying "Oh my God oh my God oh my God! You're dick is swollen!" They rest of the group looked at each other when they heard another scream and Robin say "I think it's broken!" They rest of the group looked at each other and Ted said
"You gotta call Barney!"
"Already on it." Marshall said and dialed Barney's number. Then they heard Barney's ringtone coming from the room. They all look at each other again and Marshall busts the door open to see Barney in tears and Robin with an oh fuck, look on her face. The other three start hysterically laughing.
They managed to get Barney to a hospital with Marshall, Lily, and Ted, that had a very hard time holding in their laughter.
X
The Hospital
They were all in Barney's room. When Ted asked
"How did this happen?"
"How do you think it happened!" Barney snarked back
'Well I know that, but like what were you doing when you were doing that?" Ted asked
"Some exotic thing, I'm not really sure." Robin said
The doctor came in and said "Well Mr. Stinson, you can be discharged now, but you have to reframe from any type of sexual activity for a few weeks." Marshall's face lit up and the doctor left. Marshall went over and slapped him on the face hard.
"Oh" Barney said in pain and held his cheek. "That was hard."
"Something you won't be for a while." Robin remarked and Barney gave her a I'm gonna kill you look and Robin back away.
"What the hell was that?" Asked a concerned wife
"A few years back Barney and I made a slapbet." Marshall informed
"When?" asked Lily
"2009" Barney said
2009 Barney and Marshall are on a "conference call"
"Dave from accounting, just broke his you know what." Marshall said
Barney started to chuckle and asked "How the hell does someone do that."
"A hammer fell on it when he was, reading a magazine."
Barney let out an understanding "Ooooooooh. I'm unbreakable."
"You so sure about that. First of all I have a bus that disagrees with you. Second of all, you think that you can be unbreakable."
"yah"
"Slapbet it." Barney looked confused "If you can go ten years without breaking anything, you can slap me five times from here to enternity and I get five more."
"Deal!"
"So I have five more slaps!" Marshall said with some excitement and enthusiasm.
X
Later at Ted's apartment
Ted rented a few movies and Barney asked
"What did you get?"
"Oh, just a few classics, The Ass Menagerie, Fun with Dick and Jane, Sex Architect."
"I hate you." and Ted started to chuckle
X
About three weeks later. Robin went to Lily and Marshall's late one night. Lily opened the door and knew something was wrong.
"What's wrong?"
"I'm pregnant."
