Rosalie's POV-
"BANANA MAN!" Oh crap. Please don't be Mike. Please don't be Mike. Please.... NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! It's Mike!
"What in the name of professor Dumbledore's pants are you doing here?"
"DUUUMBLEDOOOOOR!" Okay random! Dumbledore just popped up as a puppet..... NAKED!
"Uuuh...."
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE MIKE?!" I screamed.
"I was looking at the isle and I saw banana man when you called my name... well Bella did.... WOW! Boy have you changed woman?! Plastic surgery?" Great he hadn't noticed us until Bella had to shout on him.
"Uh yeah. Plastic surgery. Yeah that's what I got." Bella plastered a smile on her face.
"uh... Okay." Mike started walking away.
"BOO!" I screamed and he ran.
"Okay Rose. Your go. Go buy!" Emmett ordered. So I scuttled off to find a granola bar and went up to a check out.
"Is that all your getting?!" The man said.
"Yes... I am anorexic!"
"That's not good to be anorexic you know...."
"YES IT IS! SO SHUT YOUR BIG GAWB! AND DROP AND GIVE ME 50!" I screamed in his face.
"Why?!"
"You insulted me. NOW DO IT!" He got down on the ground and gave me 50.
"WANT TO INSULT ME ANYMORE?"
"No.... err 50p please?" He asked tentatively.
"One sec deary." I doodled on the penny and gave it to him, snatched up the bar and chucked it in the bin. I repeated this allot.
"Excuse me ma'am. IF YOU BUY ONE MORE FRICKEN IDIOTIC GRANOLA BAR I WILL EAT YOU!" The man shouted. At this I laughed.
"Okay, Okay, this is my last one I promise."
So it was, and to highlight it I placed it on the ground and started stamping on it.
"DIE! YOU MUTHADUCKING PEICE OF MOLDY BANANA!" I screamed excitedly. I then skipped over to my family who were in fits of laughter.
"That was actually good!" They stared at me shocked. "What?!"
Before they could talk we heard Steven coming towards us with a.... pogo stick? Oh well whatever... RUUUUUUUUUUUUN! I dashed to the nearest hiding place... the closet. I crawled in there and was confronted by a very squeakish moaning noise. Oh no. Oh hell no! I turned, slowly, to face the noise and was nearly blinded. If it was ever possible. Lying there.... naked might I add... was Janice and Mike Newton.
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" I screamed my head off. This is the worst sight you will EVER experience. A
"Rosalie Hale. Well, well, well. I have been expecting you for a very long time."
"Huh?"
"Your just so god dam sexy. Look at you. And it's just what I need to get the truth about you Cullens. Come over here and join me and Janice I'm sure we will have a lovely time."
"Fuck."
"What's the matter? You scared? No you can't be you just want me so badly." He had waddled over to me and started kissing me. Oh god. Oh my fucking god. This can't be happening.
"Err..."
"Now come on sexy it's your turn."
BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!
Emmett's POV-
"Where's Rose?" Bella asked.
"Err... who cares she's just a nuisance." Everyone's eyes darted to me in shock.
"But I though Rosalie was you loooover" Paul mimed in a childlike voice. Haha he is so stupid haha. I'm even smarter than him.
Edward smirked. "You sure your smarter than Paul Emmy?"
"Err yeah?"
"What's 2 +2?"
"5?"
"Hieeee its Emiily here "
"Nope four. Paul what 6 + 6?"
"Easy... 12! Duuuhr!"
"Dam it!" and there I thought I was smarter. Damn it Emmett. There is a four before the 5 always remember that!
"Right so who is going next?" Alice beamed.
"COCKADOODAL DOO!" Carlisle called. WTF?! I thought he was the calm one? "Err sorry... I was looking at this cockerel thing..."
"Er, anyways who's next?" Alice repeated.
"ME ME ME!" Carlisle squealed like a little girl. Okay this IS weird for him.
Carlisle's POV-
Something in me made me hyper.... and I don't know what. I couldn't stop it and it was just so exhilarating! So this is why Alice was always hyped u. Because it was fun!
"You?" Jasper asked questioningly. I nodded my head back and fore at a fast rate.
"okay... honey, are you alright? This is not your usual behaviour!"
"I AM JUST SO HYPER! I JUST IT! WHY DIDNT YOU TELL ME ALICE, THAT BEING HYPER WAS SO AWSOME!"
"Because you never wanted to know!" She protested.
"WELL DONT LISTEN TO ME!"
"Ugh. What number Carlisle?" Alice asked me. I stole the list from her and skipped around the store before I found a number....
"I PICK NUMBER 44!" HAHAHAHAHAHA! I AM AN EVIL GENIUS!
"Alright...." Bella said a little freaked out. "Go ahead then, tell us what you're doing?"
"YOU WILL SEE HAAHA!"
So I ran up to someone- an old grey haired lady- and said/sang "Can't touch this" running my hands sexily over my hot body. The lady looked at me disgusted! Hahahahaha! This is so much fun. As soon as I did that I ran off. This time I sang something else.
I ran up to a couple of first loves and said/sang "I'm too sexy for my shirt"- in a perfect imitation of the voices might I add- and ripped of my shirt. Oooooh this is sooo much fun! Have I said that before? Oh well! I don't give a dam! Im having so much fun!
I went up to other people and sang stuff like "Who's a sexy bitch", "Baby I'm a troublemaker" etc! By the time I had finished everyone was on the floor in fits of laughter! "So what do you think?"
"Carlisle.... I...think.... that....was....so.....fricken....funny!" Jasper said between fits of laughter.
"I... know! I never thought... you had it in you!" Edward gasped for breaths as he said this.
"Well I do have my moments." I boasted proudly. Then I realised something. "Guys, where's Rose?"
Emmett's eyes bulged wide and nearly came out of their sockets. "WHERE'S A ROSE?! WHAT ONE?! IS IT PINK? RED? YELLOW!"
Edward slapped him on the head thankfully. "No you idiot! ROSALIE! AS IN HUMAN ROSALIE!" He was very careful not to say vampire.
"Oh! I don't know she ran off to hide. Maybe she went home?"
"I know where she is!" Alice sang and danced off- yes danced- to the storage room and we all followed. "She's in there."
Bella opened the door slowly and let out a high pitch scream. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH! EEEEEEW! WHAT THE FRICKEN HELL DID YOU DO TO HER?!"
"What is it Bella?" Embry spoke up.
"Just take a look!" She pointed into the cupboard. We all peered round. HOLLY BANANA SKINS! There Rosalie was tied up in chains while Mike and Janice did stuff to her. Ew! And did I forget to mention she was naked?! I'm looking away that is not a nice sight.
"Someone go in and save her- EMMETT!" Esme ordered him. He did what he was told, flung Mike and Janice out and broke the chains that had captured Rose. We waited a while, while Rose changed back into her clothes and came out absolutely horrified.
"Oh dear lord!" Jasper said horror struck. "Will we continue?..."
"Yes. But Jasper, go take Rosalie back to the car." I ordered, my hyperness evaporated ... oh not for long I can feel it creeping its way up! YEY! Rosalie and Jasper walked off.
"EEEEP!"
"Carlisle? Did you just squeal?" Edward asked me.
"Err...noo! That was Alice!"
"NO IT WAS NOT! I DO NOT SOUND LIKE A MAN!"
"So it was you Carlisle!" Edward snickered.
"YES GOT A PROBLEM?!" I shouted.
"NO DADDY! DONT HURT ME!" Edward wailed and ran away screaming.
"... He'll be back..." Bella laughed.
"Okay who's next?" Emmett asked.
"......" Came the disappearing sound of a scream from Edward.
"I am! I HAVE A BRILLIANT IDEA!" Jacob grinned excitedly.
"............" Another scream from Edward as he ran down another corridor.
"Please continue." Alice asked.
"I'm picking number 57! WOOHOOO!" He grinned. And Paul and Embry high fived him.
Jacob's POV-
Okay so... what song should I pick? Hmm! Let me go check the CD's out. I flicked through a few until I found the perfect one. It was by the Black eyed peas- hey mamma It was a rap song and one that could be easily made a full of. (A/n! When I put this prank down you might want to listen to the song so you can understand! Type into YouTube- Blackeyedpeas- Hey mamma xx) "Paul? Embry? Bella?!"
"Yeahr" They popped up behind me. "Ohhh the black eyed peas Hey mamma! Good choice!"
"I need your help. Bella you play fergie. And Paul you sing the parts with me where there is two people as well as with Bella- only if there is two people singing. Embry Your the engineer." They nodded.
"I have an idea." Paul grinned.
"What?"
"Well we could get changed into baggy clothes and every thing with hats, belts, bandanas etc. And we could sneak into the part where they make announcements and plug in a CD player and play it on there?"
"But we don't want them singing." I said. (Okay guys lets make it this is like their best song ever! And they have memorized the words!)
"Oooh...." Paul said.
"I KNOW!" Embry called. "We could... fiddle about with the sound system and cut out the voices and just have the tune. I know exactly how to do that!"
"Good idea. Embry you buy the CD and the CD player and sort that out. Me and Paul will buy the outfits."
So in the end I was dressed in a baggy white shirt with a skull and cross bones on the front, with gold chains, gold rings and then my white boxers slightly on show before the dark blue baggy shorts held up buy a loose fitted belt with them huge sneakers. I had a black cap on with the cap facing backwards. Bella was wearing a tight white t-shirt, a black zipped jumper- open-, black quarter length joggers, white studded belt, white socks, white sneakers with black stripes and a half white half black cap- facing forwards. Paul had a red baggy t-shirt on with a picture of Tupac (You must know this guy! Even I do! He's like a legendry rapper! And I don't know much about rap! But this guy is good!) on the front he also had the same jewellery and belt as me with his grey boxers on show and baggy black shorts and sneakers Instead of a cap he had a white bandana around his head. We looked real funny dude. We all grabbed a micro phone and told Embry to press play when we gave her the thumbs up.
So here we are standing in the middle of Wal-Mart on three huge creates. "HEY GUYS!" I called to everyone in the store. They all turned their heads. "I'm Jacob, and this is Paul and Bella. We're going to give you some entertainment. We are singing Hey mamma by the black eyed peas me and Paul will sing the male parts and Bella will sing Fergie's. We hope you enjoy!" I gave Embry the thumbs up.
(A/n Jacob- Bold Bella- Italic Paul- Underlined If there is for example bold and italic together then that means its Bella and Jacob singing)
(la la la la la)(Bella In background)
Hey mama, this that shit that make you groove, mama
Get on the floor and move your booty moma
We the blast masters blastin' up the jamma
(REEEEEEEWIIIIIIND)
(Bella and Jacob in background)Cutie cutie, make sure you move your booty
Shake that thing like we in the city of sin, and
Hey shorty, I know you wanna party
the way your body look realli make me really feel nauuughty
Cutie cutie, make sure you move your booty
Shake that thing like we in the city of sin, and
Hey shorty, I know you wanna party
the way your body look realli make me really feel nauuughty
I got a naughty naughty style and a naughty naughty crew
But everything I do, I do just for you
Im a little bit of old, and a bigger bit of Nu
The true niggers know that the peas come thru
We never cease(NOO), we never die no we never decease (NOO)
We multiply like we mathamatice
Then we drop bombs like we in the middle east
(The bomb bombas, the base move dramas)
Naw y'all knaw, who we are
y'all knaw, we the stars
Steady rockin' on y'alls boulevards
And, lookin' hard without bodygaurds
(I do) what I can
(Y'all come thru)will.
And still I stand, with still mic in hand
(So come on mama, dance to the drama)
(Bella and Paul in the Background)Hey mama, this that shit that make you groove, mama
(hey)get on the floor and move your booty mama
(yaw)we the blast mastas blastin' up the jamma
(hey)so shake your bambama, come on now mama
Hey mama, this that shit that make you groove, mama
(hey)get on the floor and move your booty mama
(yaw)we the blast mastas blastin' up the jamma
(la la la la la)
(Bella and Paul in the background) We the big town stumpas, and big sound pumpas
The beat bump bumps in your trunk trunkas
The girlies in the club with the big plump plumpas
And when I'm makin' love, my hip hump humps
It never quits(NOOOO) we need to carry 9mm clips(NOOOO)
Dont wanna squize trigger, just wanna squize t*ts
(lubaluba)cause we the show stoppas
And the chief rockas, number one chief rockas
Naw y'all knaw, who we are
y'all knaw, we the stars
Steady rockin' on y'alls boulevards
How we rockin' it girl, without body guards
Now she be, Fergie,from the crew
B.E.P., come and take heed, as we take the lead
(so come on papa, dance to the drama)
Hey mama, this that shit that make you groove, mama
(yaw)get on the floor and move your booty mama
(wuh)we the blast mastas blastin' up the jamma
(NAWWWW, NAWWW)
Cutie cutie, make sure you move your booty
Shake that thing like we in the city of sin, and
no fakin i know you see me shakin
and the way i break it down i got the whole world quakin
Off the Richter, off the Richter, off the Richter, off the Richter, off the Richter, off the Richter steady are you ready.
Hey shorty, I know you wanna party
the way your body look realli make me really feel nauuughty
But the race is not, for the swift
But who really can, take control of it
And tippa irie and the black eyed peas will be thhhheeerre
til infiniti, til infiniti, til infiniti, til infiniti, til infiniti
Tippa is ouuuuuut
Nosa dima shock, nosa dima ting
everytime you sit there i hear, bling bling
O wata ting, hear blacka sing
grinding, and winding
and the madda be moving in a perfect timing
and we dance and dance to the dancehall riddim
and we're really to nice, it finga lickin'
like rice and peas and chicken stuffing
Hey mama, this that shit that make you groove, mama
(hey)get on the floor and move your booty mama
(yaw)we the blast mastas blastin' up the jamma
(hey)so shake your bambama, come on now mama
Hey mama, this that shit that make you groove, mama
(hey)get on the floor and move your booty mama
(yaw)we the blast mastas blastin' up the jamma
(la la la la la[fade])
(God! I hope you appreciate that and read it! It took me an hour to edit it! Seriously I spent allot of time on that!)
We finished. Pheew! Well let's say there was a lot of dancing involved! The family were in fits of laughter and to finish it off: "We thank you people of walnut whip land! We truly appreciate you spending time listening to us instead of gathering concurs and what not!" (A/N I needed some randomness :P)
"WOOOO HOOOOOOO!" Steven shouted out.
"Fuck off!" Bella shouted at him.
"No! I love Jacob and Paul go back to your husband you been sprout!"
That's when Bella lost her temper....
(Okay I have a BIG Apology to make! I haven't updated in so long! I didn't realise how long it was! I am so so sorry!)
