Beetle meet Son.
Everyone finished dinner, and Olivia spotted a large untouched pot on the stove, the note on top of the cover read….Hot Chili. She lifted the lid, "It smells wonderful." She smiled, then picked up a spoon, to put some in a bowl.
Monster noticed her (Southern accent) "Umm…I think that's too hot for you to be eatin' lil' lady."
Too late, Olivia ate it. "The chili is delicious…Who made it ?"
Monster walked beside her in shock, no one ever could stand the extreme hot flavor of his homemade chili. "Well, I did."
"Excellent…" She smiled. "it is very delicious Mr. Monster."
Monster blushed a smile in awe. "Really ?….awe shucks, thanks."
Olivia nodded with a mouth full of chili.
Jacques, Lydia, Ginger, and even Beetlejuice looked to Olivia with wide shocked eyes as she continued eating.
Scuzzo outraged by all this, grabbed a bowl for himself. "No broad's gonna out do me, eatin' chili." He took a bite, and swallowed….after awhile a wide eyed tearful expression formed on his face. He held his throat as sweat poured down his face, and started dodging around the room frantically, holding the vocal cord of his throat, struggling to speak "Water…water."
The others laughed as he raced around the room, then toward the sink, drinking and drenching his head in cold water.
Scuzzo emerged from the sink with a head full of wet hair. "Ha, ha, laugh it up." then looked to Olivia, who's still eating chili "Christ, How can you eat that ?!…I thought my voice box was goin' burn off."
Beetlejuice chuckled. "That would be great."
He snapped a frown to his rival. "Shuddup Beetlejerk."
*********
Lydia , Olivia, and Scuzzo sat in the lounge area watching T.V. while the others played poker in the other room. A familiar commercial came on….
"Wanta get rid of those pesky livin' critters once and for all ?…Well come on down and see it folks, cause I'll tell ya'….I'll do anythin'."
It was an old commercial of Beetlejuice wearing a cowboy outfit, standing by a fake cow, on Adam Maitland's model town of Winter Raven.
"I'll scare 'em, real bad…I'm the world's leading bio-exorcist."
Beetle juice walked in, looking at the screen, and leaned on Lydia's shoulder. He pointed to his old figure on TV. "Was I really that fat ?" asked with a grin.
"Yeah..." Scuzzo replied out the blue. Beetlejuice frowned as he continued "Fat asses shouldn't be shown on TV….bad for the eyes….should be a law against it."
Lydia and Olivia giggled.
"Shuddup Clown." Beetlejuice sour reply.
Scuzzo chuckled more.
"Fuck you Clown." Beetlejuice spat.
Scuzzo leaned back in the chair. "Sorry Beetlejerk…" squeezing his crotch which made a honking sound at him. "but this is for the ladies."
Lydia turned to Scuzzo with a disgusted form, as Olivia giggled under her breath.
Beetlejuice left from the room, and stepped outside to catch some air. He lit a cigarette, took a much needed long drag, and walked down the path, admiring the clear, quiet streets….then a shadow, a large shadow swarmed above him.
The shadow howled, Beetlejuice looked up and was taken aback by the unbelievable sight. "Flying Sandworm !!!" He shouted, running back toward the Roadhouse door, but instead bumped into someone. The hard collision sent Beetlejuice to the ground. He shook his head from the fall, looked up, and in front of him stood young man with long blonde hair, and a little brunette girl.
"Your very observant." said the young man, clapping his hands sarcastically. The flying sandworm howled again, Beetlejuice stared at it in terror, as the young man patted it's head. "This is my friend Cornelius…" he flashed a wicked grin. "He won't bite, unless I ask him to."
Lydia ran outside. "Bobby !" she cried, giving him a tight hug, and then kissed him on the cheek multiple times. "Oh Bobby, I was so worried about…" she noticed the flying sandworm. "AHHHHH !!!"
"Will you re-lax…he's my friend." Bobby said oh so causally.
Lydia gave him a wide eyed confused stare. "Sandworms can't fly !" She stated in terror.
"I, gave him the ability to fly." Bobby patted Cornelius on head, then looked to his mother. "Cool huh."
She fluttered her eyes and fainted.
"Bobby you devil, what has happened ?" Olivia scolded from inside the door.
"Olivia !" Melanie yelled, smiling in delight as she gave her a huge hug.
Olivia gazed upon her young sisterly friend. "Oh my heart, our little one…" hugging her tight "I am glad to see you, and to know you are safe." and a kiss on the cheek "You will not leave us again, we missed you so."
Lydia lifted her fainted body. "I'm glad you found her Bobby." then pinched him.
"Ow !" Bobby yelped.
"Don't have me worried like that !" Lydia scolded.
Bobby rubbed his pinched spot with a smirk. "Ok, ok…geez, I'm sorry ok."
Cornelius snuggled behind the house and instantly fell asleep.
"Hey…" Beetlejuice yelled, gaining Bobby's attention. "tell your flying friend to go somewhere else !"
Bobby formed a wide devil smirk. "You want him to leave, then you tell 'em."
Beetlejuice going close to a sandworm, a flying sandworm at that, he wasn't up for the challenge, and so just followed them into the house. 'Bobby…He's my son…that Sandworm befriending, Ghost Hunter lover is my son ?…shit.'
***********
Beetlejuice leaned against the wall, studying his new found son, and took notice of the 'No Ghost' symbol on his uniform.
Bobby took notice of his confused stare. "I'm a Ghostbuster."
Beetlejuice raised a brow. "Your hybrid, a half-ghost, Isn't doing that for a job a little….unorthodox ?"
Bobby formed a toothy devil grin. "Everything about me is….unorthodox, and I like it that way." Then formed a serious look, walking closer to him "Besides you're one to talk. It's my understanding that not only do you kill the living, you kill ghost. Unlike you, I just catch 'em, and I don't kill anybody."
"I don't do gigs like that anymore." Beetlejuice replied.
"That's true Bobby." Lydia stepped in.
Bobby held a skeptical look to the striped suit ghost. "Perhaps…" pointing a finger to him. "but I got my eye on you."
Just then, Cassie walked into the room.
Bobby took immediate notice of her very new, very provocative uniform. He licked his lips as his eyes filled strong of lust. Cassie stopped in front of him, and blew a kiss. "Hmm….New uniform ?" he asked.
Cassie teasingly dancing against him. "You like ?"
"I looove." Bobby replied lustfully. Cassie seductively danced around him more, squeezing her cleavage against him, while making seductive kissy faces "Oooo, I read you loud and clear, but not tonight baby…" then using an Elvis voice "Daddy's tired."
"Hel-looo…I'm sitting here." Lydia called out, rolling her eyes.
Bobby performed a dramatic bow. "And that concludes…After Dinner Theater."
Cassie just shook her head. "Crazy."
Lydia rolled her eyes to her son's foolishness, then looked over to Olivia and Scuzzo…. they were making kissy faces at each other. She cringed at the sight, it's disturbing for her to witness.
Bobby, who also took notice of them, shakes his head in disbelief. "Women in this family." he muttered.
Lydia gave her son that 'What do you mean by that ?' facial expression.
He looks to his mother, pointing a thumb over to Beetlejuice "Is that thing really my dad, or what ?"
Beetlejuice held a sour frown.
"Yes Bobby." Lydia answered.
Bobby studied Beetlejuice's features….A ghostly man that seems to be in his mid-thirties; dark circles around his eyes, green slimly teeth, horrible spiked hair, and very dusty.
He looked back to his mother with an odd stare. "You gave that some pussy ?!"
Before Lydia could answer…
"Wow, that's Balls !" Bobby finished off.
Scuzzo chuckled.
"Bobby." Olivia scolded.
He turned to his sister with a sarcastic look "Hey…What the hell do I know, if I was a chick, and let some dust ball ghost sex me, I wouldn't say anything either."
Scuzzo chuckled.
"Bob…" Lydia cried out in embarrassment.
"Bobby." Olivia called out while trying to comfort Lydia. "Do not be so hard on Mother."
"Hey !" Beetlejuice shouted being offended.
"Best description I've heard about you Beetlejerk." Scuzzo chuckled.
Beetlejuice cracked his knuckle at him "Shudup Clown." then looked to his new found son "Look…you don't like me, and that's fine, I'm used to-" he got cut off.
"On the contrary…" Bobby began pacing around the room "I like everyone…" walking closer to his ghostly dad, looking him in the eyes "…including you." back to pacing around the room "There are only two people on my shit list. Mel's sorry excuse for a father, and that cocksucker Julius."
Beetlejuice knows Julius, he's been exorcised by him countless of times. Julius is the type who will exorcise for jay walking across the street.
Lydia knows Julius well…too well in fact.
"Who is Julius ?" Olivia asked with concern.
"Apparently he's the castle asshole." Bobby replied.
Cassie and Melanie came beside Bobby and walked him to the couch.
Beetlejuice walked away in deep thought.
Lydia joined him in his bedroom. "Well Beej…What do you think of the kids ?"
"Olivia's ok, but I know Scuzzo's bangin' her, and that doesn't fly well with me." Beetlejuice replied. "As for Bobby…" forming a skeptical look. "I think he's an ass-"
"Amazing." Lydia finished off in knowing what he was really going to say.
"Yeah…" He shook his head with an odd gaze. "that's a polite way of putting it."
Lydia took his hand into hers. "Bobby likes you, I can tell."
Beetlejuice raised a brow. "He does ?"
"He'll come around, you'll see…" She smiled. "he's just being…protective, that's all."
"Protective ?" He repeated taken aback, then held her close. "I can protect you Lyds."
She smiled. "I know Beej."
"Olivia and Bobby." Beetlejuice said in thought, then looked to her. "They seem to be on your case all the time, what's with that ?…they act like they should be your parents or something."
"They're just over protective, and rightfully so…." Lydia shrugged. "I've been through too much…stuff."
Beetlejuice placed a comforting arm around her shoulder. "Will you ever tell me about this….stuff ?"
"Of course…" She gazed to him lovingly. "you're my best friend, and I don't want to hide from my demons anymore."
"Demons ?" He whispered.
"But for now Beej…" She snuggled on the pillows. "I would like to get some rest, It's time I told Vince about Olivia, and…" yarning heavily as she slowly fell to sleep." Do something about Julius….Night Beej."
"Julius." He thought, then kissed her forehead. "Night Lyds."
As Lydia rested on the pillows, Beetlejuice wondered…. 'Lyds do something about Julius…Why ?…' He snuggled next to her, and went to sleep.
******
Bobby and Melanie looked though out the Roadhouse; the black and white checkered floor, the twisted hallway, bats on the ceiling, and spider webs everywhere. The entire place smelled of dried burned amber.
"It's this place weird ?" Melanie stated as she gazed upon a painting of a splattered bug on the wall.
"Yeah." Bobby spat, turning on his proton pack on. "It's like a fucked up version of Pee Wee's Playhouse."
"I remember when we first met…" Melanie smiled. "I thought you were a magician, but those where your powers. Don't you like being a half ghost Bobby ?"
He turned to her, pacing down the hall. "It's cool, it comes in handy."
"We'll I think it's awesome, you and Olivia share something special." She pouted. "I'm so envious, at least you two are still alive, and can have cool powers. I'm just dead."
"Don't say that, never say that." Bobby saddened. "You're alive Mel, just in a different way, and don't you forget it."
"Ahello ?" A French male voice echoed from out of nowhere. "Is anyone there ?"
Melanie looked to the source of the call…it's inside a mop bucket. One she saw the head move, she dropped it out of fright and surprise.
Bobby picked up the skeleton head inside. "What the fuck ? Did you really talk ?"
"Yes." The skeleton replied. "I'm Jacques."
"I heard about you…" said Melanie. "Can you really speck French ?"
The skeleton nodded. "Oui petite."
"Bonour, Monsieur Jacques…" Melanie greeted with a smile and a curtsy of her shirt. "gentil de vous rencontrer." (nice to meet you.)
Jacques formed an impressive smile. "Oh petite, you speak French so well."
"Ok cut the French fry talk…" Bobby interrupted, looking to his head in the bucket. "where's your body ?"
"Iz in my room." He replied.
Bobby went inside Jacques's room, and their laid his boney body on a bed. He used Jacques's hands to hold his head in place, then gave Melanie a flash light to aim at the neck, took out a needle and thread kit form his utility belt, and started a secured stitch for the head to the neck.
"And you are Beetle's son ?" Jacques questioned by surprise. "Not even he would take the time to attach my head."
"I do what I got to do." Bobby replied. "heads should be on shoulders, not in a shit bucket." and applied the finishing touches. "There, it's done."
Melanie looked around the stitch. "It looks great…" then looked to Bobby with a smile. "maybe I should get you to sew my Barbie clothes."
Bobby gave her a 'yeah right' look.
"Never mind." She sang playfully.
Jacques picked up a broken hand mirror. "Thank you so much." admiring the stitch. "It's feels good to be one again."
"Pisss…" Melanie hissed, gaining Bobby's attention. "maybe you should ask him about your Dad."
He raved her hair. "I know everything I need to know."
"Beetle Iz difficult, but really…" Jacques started.
Bobby turn to him with a frown. "Listen Jacq…Jacq…" then shook his head with a grin. "I'm sorry I can't call you Jacques, it just sounds so gay to me, so I'm calling you Jack instead."
"Your bluntness…" Jacques shook with a smile. "yes, you are definitely Beetle's son."
Bobby pointed over to the bucket. "You want your head back in the toilet, don't you ?"
"Bob…" Melanie called, gaining his attention. "You're setting a bad example for me." she sang playfully.
He formed a smart ass grin, then huffed. "Fine." poking at Melanie playfully, as she giggled, then turned to the skeleton. "Kids, you know I love 'em."
Just then Beetlejuice showed to Jacques door. "What the hell is goin' on ?! Lyds is trying to sleep."
"Well with a pussy hound like you in the room with 'er, that mission won't be accomplished." said Bobby with a dry tone.
Jacques's jaw dropped.
Melanie giggled from Jacques's reaction.
And Beetle just stood there in disbelief, in to what he just heard.
Lydia walked beside Beetlejuice. "Hey guys, what's going on ?" She noticed her best friend's facial expression. "Beetle ?" then she noticed her son giving the devil smile. "Bob, what did you do ?"
He chuckled a little. "Nothing Mom, just hangin' out, that's all."
"He called me a pussy hound." Beetlejuice spat.
"Bob…" Lydia moaned out of embarrassment.
He arched his shoulders. "Well that's what he is, isn't he ?"
Lydia turned to Beetle, and realized that might be true, and walked away.
"Awwww, look what you did." Bobby called out, gaining Beetle's attention. "you made Mom upset…" pouting like a small child, and pointed toward the hall. "now go to her, and say that your sorry."
Beetle formed a 'why I outta' look.
"Well go on." Bobby urged, then clapped his hands. "Chop, chop."
Jacques started laughing at Beetle's ordeal.
Melanie just shook her head.
Beetle sneered a look to his new found son, then vanished.
"Wow." Melanie awed.
Bobby shook his head in disbelief. "Show off."
Beetlejuice reappeared and floated in the lounge area…He gazed to a sleeping Scuzzo and Olivia holding each other on the couch, Cassie sharpening her sword near the doorway, and Lydia staring at the flying sandworm, Cornelius. He floated beside her. "Ugly sight huh ?"
Lydia smirked. "Not really, I kinda like him, and such a classic name." turning to him. "I didn't know had that type of power."
"Of course…" Beetle smiled. "He's the son of the ghost with the most."
She giggled. "Aw Beetle, what am I going to do with you ?"
He wagged his brows to her. "What do you wanna do with me ?"
"Bob…I mean Beetle." Lydia moaned in embarrassment.
Beetle stood taken aback. "Hey."
"Sorry." She finished off. "What do you think Vince's reaction will be when I tell him about Olivia tomorrow ?"
Beetle formed a wicked grin. "He'll probably use a few thousand volts of electricity on Scuzzo."
"Beej." She moaned, regaining his attention.
"He'll probably cry until he the flood the castle or something." He finished off.
Lydia sighed heavily.
"C'mon Babes, finish your rest, you'll need it."
She gazed to him. "I'll be there in a minute."
Beetlejuice never left her side, they stared into the Netherworld's gloomy fog, it's dead howling streets, and the flying sandworm who slept besides the Roadhouse.
