Ivy didn't respond to her director's request but instead moved to make room on the bench where she was sitting. Derek took the gesture as approval and took the seat offered. After a few minutes of silence he asked "Is everything alright? Eileen was about to introduce you to a potential investor when you took off."
At his words the blonde actress gave a bitter laugh. "Of course, how could I have thought you came looking for me about anything else other than the show?"
The director closed his eyes and took a calming breathe. "I was merely informing you what was about to take place, I never said it was the reason I came to find you." He replied never once looking at her.
"So why did you come out here. I mean this is your big night, shouldn't you be with your wife?"
"I came out here because I know why you left the group and I wanted apologize." He answered, much to the surprise of the woman next to him. "Contrary to what you think Ivy, I don't set out to hurt you." He glanced at the actress to gage her reaction. Her head was down and her eyes staring at the floor. "In fact every day when I enter that studio I'm reminded by Karen to be mindful of how I interact with her so as not to make things awkward." He confessed.
"Why are you telling me this, now?" Ivy questioned.
"Because this," he motioned between the two them "has to stop."
"Oh I'm sorry, am I inconveniencing you?" She seethed.
"It's not about me." He replied. "The time spent trying to relive the past, can't be healthy for you and it isn't fair to my family."
"Oh I see; it may not be about you but it is about your precious Karen."
"You can view it however you choose too Ivy, but you are getting what you've wanted since the day you waltzed into the audition. This may not be the appropriate venue but I will answer whatever question or tell you anything you want to know." He coolly said.
Ivy was shocked but quickly composed herself. This was her opportunity to get the answers only Derek could give and she wasn't going to waste it. "Karen said you still care for me is that true?" The question caught the Brit off guard. He wouldn't have expected his wife to admit this to his ex-lover but, a bigger part of him was proud their marriage was solid enough to be honest.
"What she said is true. Six years ago I considered you one of my closest friends. It is impossible to completely stop caring."
"If you thought of me that way, why didn't you love me?" Her voice almost a whisper.
"I loved you Ivy, it just wasn't the way you wanted or needed." He explained.
"If I hadn't miscarried would I be the woman on your arm tonight?" She asked.
"I'm fairly certain you wouldn't be." He replied bluntly but without malice. "When you told me you were pregnant I thought in time my feelings for you could change into something deeper. I was prepared to be there for you and a hundred percent committed to try a relationship. But despite my efforts you never believed I could change for you."
"All I ever wanted was for you to look at me the way you look at her." Ivy shared. "Why wasn't I enough?"
The Brit chose his words carefully before answering. "Ivy, you are an incredible woman but you needed more than what I could give you at the time. The way our relationship started made it even more difficult for there to ever be something lasting between us. When you looked at me all you saw was my past and there was always a doubt in your mind as to whether or not I would sleep with my next leading lady or the next willing actress." He reasoned. "It was I who failed you in not being able to make you feel secure in the woman you are. You deserve that." He stated.
"I you failed me; why am I the one who hurts. Why is it that you could give her your heart?"
"Falling in love with Karen wasn't something I planned. It just happened. From the first day I met her she challenged me." He replied. "She was a student at my mother's academy and when I heard her sing I was captivated." He recalled. "Still an arrogant prat at the time I did the only thing I knew how; I informed her along with the other female students that if they wanted advice, they would need to have drinks with me." Ivy gave a weary smile. "Imagine my shock when she declined the offer. I was infuriated." He chuckled at the memory. "I remember ranting to my mother about how stupid and naïve she was for turning me down. But my mother just looked at me and in a calm voice said 'Theo, my son, it looks like you have a decision to make. You can enjoy your time home in the company of another lady or you can prove to Ms. Cartwright that her assumptions are wrong.'" He finished.
"She really turned you down?" The blonde actress inquired.
"Oh, not only did she turn me down, she made it very clear she wanted nothing to do with me if it meant there was a price to pay for my time." He informed. "The next day, I approached her and apologized for my behavior. I asked her to lunch and invited my mother to prove my apology was sincere. From that day forward my intentions or my word were never questioned again." He smiled. "We discovered we had a lot in common and the more time I spent with her I found myself changing. I began to make decisions based on whether or not she would approve. Before I realized it, there was nothing more important to me than seeing her happy and knowing I was responsible." Ivy recalled her discussion with Eileen. The producer had been wrong; Derek knew his feelings for Karen before he returned back to New York.
"Why didn't you tell her how you felt?"
"She was in a relationship with someone she loved and I wasn't going to interfere knowing I was going to leave London to come back to New York. Instead, we remained friends and wrote to each other. Not e-mails but actual letters. She said it meant more because there was thought and time behind letters."
"Why were you willing to stay with me when you loved someone else?"
"Because as I told you, I did love you and I needed to know that I tried. I owed it to you and our child. When I discovered you lied though, I just couldn't stay. I was angry at you and I was angry at myself. In my mind once again my past had come back to haunt me." He expressed with honesty. "When I saw Karen again, even after all the time that had passed, it took just one look from her to know I'd be alright." He looked to Ivy and laughed "I'm sorry, I know I gave you a long winded explanation but I wanted you to understand. I love Karen because when she looks at me; in her eyes, I see the man I want to be. She makes me believe I am worthy of her unconditional trust and love. Despite my flaws, I'm enough for her. My wife and my children, they are everything to me and I would die before I would hurt her by being unfaithful." He ended with conviction.
Ivy remained silent "I'm sorry." She offered. "I never apologized for what I did." She commented. "No matter how scared or insecure I felt, it was wrong to lie to you. I was too selfish to think it mattered to you. You are right, I would never have been able to let go of your past." She stated with tears in her eyes. "I see now how different you are and its obvious how much you love your family. Thank you, for tonight. I know we will never be as close as we once were; but I hope we can we can regain some form of friendship." She looked at Derek this time.
He smiled and leaned over to embrace the blonde woman next to him. Kissing her temple he replied "I would like that." As if on cue the doors to the hall opened and out walked Karen, Liz and Julia enjoying a good laugh. The three women stopped at seeing the pair. "Should I be worried that your face is flushed and you seem to be up to mischief?" Derek playfully asked his wife.
"Mr. Wills you should know by now that I'm always up to mischief," she smirked. The director who had released Ivy from his embrace stretched his hand out. Karen accepted and allowed herself to be pulled onto his lap. His wife giggled when he nuzzled her neck with a kiss. "Derek," she hit his arm with her purse.
The three ladies laughed at her reaction. "You shouldn't tease." He joked. Liz and Julia continued to the ladies room while Karen remained with Ivy and Derek.
The brunette shook her head in mock disbelief but then smiled as she looked between her husband and Ivy. "Is everything alright?" Her tone held a hint of hope.
Ivy nodded "yes and I'm sorry Karen for the way I've behaved and for making things awkward. It's clear how much Derek loves you."
"Thank you Ivy. I hope we all can be friends, it would mean a great deal to us." The director nodded his head in agreement.
"I'd like that." The actress responded just as Julia and Liz returned.
"Mr. Wills," Liz looked to the Brit. "I think as our director it your duty to help us single women meet some of these eligible bachelors here tonight." She informed.
Derek laughed at the young actress "I'm not a miracle worker," he teased. Liz gave an offended expression while Ivy, Julia and his wife laughed.
"Come on," Ivy grabbed Liz's arm. "Karen will set him straight. Let's go scope out prospects." The two women followed by Julia turned and made their way back into the hall.
Once the door was closed Karen looked to her husband. "I'm proud of you. I know it wasn't easy but from the expression on Ivy's face, I can tell it meant something to her." She leaned in and kissed his lips.
Derek sighed with content "I love you Mrs. Wills. You my darling mean everything to me. And the fact that you love me never seizes to amaze me, happy birthday," he wished, this time his lips capturing hers. Karen smiled into the kiss before pulling back. Standing from his lap she extended her hand to his pulling him up.
"Come on Mr. Director, your movie stars were asking for you," she informed as they re-entered the celebration.
