You are a AWESOME! Wanna know why? Cos you put up with my LOUSY updating! I'm sorry this took so long. But I can make it up to you :D This chapter is in DPOV! It hasn't been beta'd, so bear with me. I haven't written anything from a guys POV before, so please give me some feedback and tips. Next chapter will be up a LOT sooner than this, probably by Sunday. Again, you guys are INCREDIBLE.

xx Rachel

Chapter 9

DPOV

We were on our way to the airport – definitely not a short ride. But that might be a good thing. If I had a long time in which I had nothing to do, I could maybe attempt to gather myself together and try and sort through my bewildered head. But that could also be bad thing...I knew it would hurt too much.

And pain really wasn't something I needed more of at the moment.

By some cruel act of God, I had ended up sitting next to her: Roza. Not that I detested her – no, I would never feel that way towards Rose. She was amazing, beautiful, strong - everything I wish I could be. It was just that every time I saw or even thought about her, I died a little inside.

And, well, touching her wasn't really helping the situation.

The smell of her hair was too strong to be able to ignore – the scent of freesia, jasmine and coconut intoxicating. It reminded me of the night in the cabin, when all I could remember was us. Hell, the skin that was touching hers was on fire.

I stared straight ahead, fixing my frustrated glare on the back of the driver's head. I faintly heard Tasha and Adrian talking, but all my ears registered was Rose's steady breathing. Listen to yourself, Dimitri. You're pathetic. Eventually Tasha fell asleep, and Adrian had either dozed off or was sitting there in quiet contemplation – whichever, since he had his eyes closed.

I was shocked to see that Rose had fallen asleep on my shoulder. She looked so peaceful and happy; I didn't want to disturb her. But a voice in the back of my mind was telling me this was wrong.

No, no, no. You don't love her anymore. You even told her that. Stay away.

I decided to listen to that voice – since it was the only reasonable one around these days – and went to push her away gently. She snuggled in to me, and moaned my name. I froze. The sound sent shivers rolling through me, and I stared at her in surprise.

Crap. Was she awake?

No. She was definitely sleeping. Then I realised something – she was dreaming about me. And that was enough to want to hold her one last time. I wrapped my arms around her – careful not to wake her up.

And I tried to imagine it was just us, before any of these terrible things happened.


Rose stirred ever so slightly in my arms, and I sighed in contentment. This was perfect: to fall asleep and wakeup with the love of your life, everyday. I was the luckiest man on Earth, because she was mine. Roza was mine.

I had the weirdest dream – and it seemed to last for a lifetime. Actually, it was more like a nightmare. I had been turned into a Strigoi, and did all these terrible things I had no control over.

Crime. Thievery. Murder.

Then, as crazy as it sounds, I was turned back into a Dhampir. God, I had a freakish imagination. And when I was turned, I didn't love Rose anymore – and she didn't love me. The reason I knew this was a dream – or a nightmare – was because that would never happen. Ever.

Then she was accused of murdering the Queen. She was locked up and put on trial. We ended up running away from Court and planned to go to Baia, with everyone else. And that's when it ended.

I really do worry about myself sometimes.

But it didn't matter. As long as we had each other, everything would be okay. She snuggled closer to me, and I automatically tightened my arms around her. As cliche as it sounded, I knew this was the way it's supposed to be. Like we're two puzzle pieces, meant to be - "Dimitri! Wake up," she hissed. I mumbled an inaudible 'no' and pulled her closer, burying my face in her hair. Five more minutes...

And then she slapped me – hard. What the hell? My eyes flew open, and I looked down at her, confused. And then it all came back to me – realisation slapping me in the face. Everyone outside, the car… This wasn't a dream at all. This was reality.

Shit.

I let go immediately, and we were both out of the car in a flash. She was blushing furiously, and everyone was giving me weird looks – except Adrian. He looked like he wanted to kill me. Believe me, the feeling was mutual.

I went out of my way to avoid her, and thankfully sat next to Tasha on the plane. "So," she said, twirling her hair around with her fingers, "how have you been, Dimitri? Really."

"What do you mean?" I stalled.

"You know what I mean." Yeah, I sure did. I stared at her. How had I been? I really didn't know. I didn't think I knew myself anymore. Everything seemed surreal, like I was stuck in nightmare, unable to wakeup. I should have died. But I hadn't. I was here, alive.

For once, I was confused.

For once, I was unsure.

For once, I didn't know how to feel.

For once in my life I was scared.

But no one could know that except me. "I'm fine," I lied. It felt wrong… lying to Tasha. But it was something I had to do. I knew she didn't believe me, though. I didn't even believe myself.

"Well," she changed the subject, "are you looking forward to meeting your family?"

This made me smile. Only very slightly, but it was still a smile. "Yes. I haven't seen them since I arrived at St. Vladimir's." Thinking back, I realised it had actually been a long time – over a year. I had talked to them over the phone a few times, but that was it.

"Do you miss them?"

"Yes."

"Do they know what happened?

I frowned. This was starting to feel more like an interrogation than just a normal conversation. But she did have a point. I was pretty sure they knew I had been turned into a Strigoi. To my family, when you're a Strigoi, you are basically dead. They didn't consider Strigoi as being anything living, so if you ever happened to become one, you were gone. And I didn't think they knew I was alive yet.

I shook my head. "I don't think so."

She raised her eyebrows. "Well, that will sure be a surprise for them." She grinned enthusiastically, but I could only return a half smile that didn't touch my eyes. Her smile vanished, and she looked hurt. Immediately feeling guilty, I took a deep breath, and said something I really wanted to kill myself for.

"I really want you to meet my family. They'll love you."

Oh god. I mentally slapped myself. How could I say that? It really killed me – not because it wasn't true. But because I knew I should be saying that to someone else. And that someone was not Tasha. But obviously, Tasha being Tasha, she took it the wrong way.

"Oh my gosh, Dimitri! I would love to meet your family," she gushed, putting a hand over mine. "That would be so great."

I opened my mouth to tell her that wasn't what I meant, but just then, Rose walked past. She stopped dead in her tracks when she saw us – her furious eyes fixed on Tasha. And I swear Tasha smirked. I wanted to die. But then she shifted her gaze to me, her angry glower changing. I couldn't read the expression on her face, but that didn't matter.

Her eyes said it all.

But she quickly looked away and took a set behind us, next to Adrian. I had a feeling she was doing it because she was angry with me. Well, I had no right to care anymore.

"What did you say?" Tasha asked, interrupting my thoughts.

"Uh…never mind," I muttered. We sat in silence after that, and the roar of the engines and buzz of everyone's conversation rang in my ear. I definitely wasn't going to go to sleep again – what happened in the car was embarrassing enough. Then I heard Adrian say my name. Pretty damn loudly, too.

I frowned, and listened carefully. I wasn't exactly eavesdropping on their conversation, but if Adrian insisted on talking about me so loud the whole plane could hear, I didn't see anything wrong with overhearing it.

"This isn't about him," I heard Rose say quietly. "This is about us." Neither of them said anything for a while – either that, or they were whispering and I couldn't hear them. "I really tried, Adrian. And it was great – while it lasted." I wondered what they were talking about.

Their relationship came to mind.

"You really are an amazing person."

I held my breath, waiting – guiltily – for his reply. But he didn't answer. Curiosity was getting the better of me, and I turned around to see what they were doing.

But I should have known…curiosity killed the cat.

I snapped back around, my jaw clenched. I was really pissed. How dare he? The last thing I wanted to see was my Roza with Adrian's tongue down her throat. Disgusted, I closed my eyes tight shut, and took in a deep breath. When I heard Tasha gasp, my eyes flashed open. I blinked at her. She looked like she was in pain. "What is it?" I frowned.

She winced. "Ouch…my hand." I looked down and saw that to my horror, her hand was still over mine and I had squeezed the living hell out of it.

"Sorry," I mumbled. What was wrong with me? Or better yet, what wasn't wrong with me?

"Don't worry about it. It's no big deal."

"No," I groaned, "It is a big deal. I need to get a grip of myself."

"Look," she bit her lip. "This isn't going to be easy, Dimitri." Tell me something I don't know. "You've been through more than anyone else I know. And I'm not going to say I know how you feel, because, well…I have no idea. But I'll always be here for you, if you ever need me," she said seriously.

"Thanks, Tasha," I smiled. "But I can do this by myself – and I will." I don't know what it was, but I had always felt like I was on my own. Me against the world. I had learnt to deal with my own problems alone – I didn't need other people fighting my battle for me. Maybe that was why some people considered me 'anti-social'.

"Okay," she said finally. "And maybe…once this is over, we could work something out."

Just like that, any emotion that may have been on my face disappeared, and I put my walls up. Rose hated it when I did this, and called it my 'Guardian Mask'. But my personal life was a touchy subject right now.

"Tasha," I sighed. "I already told you, back when you made your offer at the Academy. I only think of you as a friend. That hasn't changed." It sounded harsh, but it was necessary.

She looked taken aback, but only nodded. "We'll see."

We didn't say anything else, and sat in silence for the rest of the ride – I sat there and tuned the world out.

It could have been a few seconds, minutes, or hours later, when Abe tapped me on the shoulder. I almost jumped three feet into the air – which was a first. Being a Guardian, I should have more awareness than that.

"Dimitri," he murmured.

"Lord Mazur," I nodded politely. My opinion of him had changed dramatically since I first met him. I used to look down on that sort of business: dark and manipulative, getting others to do your dirty work. But I had realised that wasn't the whole truth, and Abe Mazur was actually a genuinely good person. He had good connections, yes, but he used them to help others, not just himself. I also found out he is Rose's father, and he also helped get her get out of the corrupted Court. That kind of changed things. So at the end of day, I respected him.

"You know the plan?"

I nodded. Tasha was looking out the window, but I could tell she was listening. Not that it mattered – it wasn't anything secretive.

"Good. As soon as you find something out, make sure you let me know."

"Of course," I assured him. "You'll be the first to know."

"Thank you, Dimitri. Rose and Lissa think they know what they're doing, but really, they have no idea what they've gotten themselves into." Honestly, I had no idea what I had gotten myself into either. He turned around to leave, but then stopped. He looked slightly uncomfortable. "Are you…how are you coping?"

This shocked me – for many reasons. But here it goes again: people asking me if I was okay. I hated it. It made me feel like a little boy that needed taking care of.

"I'm fine," I said bluntly.

He looked like he wanted to say something more, but turned on his heel and went back to his seat at the back of the plane. When we landed, I took off with Tasha, and everyone waited outside the airport as Abe called someone to pick us up.

It felt so good to be home. Even though this wasn't Baia, there was something about St. Petersburg that held a warm, comforting familiarity. Abe and Guardian Hathaway left to go to Mark and Oksana's straight away, and we piled into the car. An awkward silence hung in the air – and I tried my best to ignore it.

For the first time, I took in everyone's appearances. They looked haggard and exhausted, jetlag finally catching up to them. Rose had faint dark circles under her eyes, and her clothes were crumpled – probably from sleeping.

But she still looked a beautiful as ever.

Hell, she could be wearing rags and have her hair a mess and she would look amazing. When she looked up, her warm brown eyes meeting mine, I realised I had been staring. Smooth one, Dimitri. I quickly looked away, embarrassed at myself.

Then, thankfully, Lissa decided to break the silence. "Um… since we have a while, I think this is a really good time to talk about what we're going to do. You know, finding my sister – or brother – and Victor."

Everyone looked relieved, and the tension in the car decreased.

"Yeah," Adrian looked thoughtful, "we really need to figure out what we're doing." He really was an idiot.

"No shit, Sherlock," Rose muttered under her breath. Christian snickered, but Adrian didn't even hear.

"Okay," Lissa ignored her comment, "what's the priority here? Finding the murder, the sibling, or Victor?"

I listen in silence as they discussed their plan, never interjecting or suggesting anything. But then something perked my interest when Rose mentioned splitting into groups. "What groups were you thinking of?" I asked quietly. A part of me didn't even expect her to answer, to ignore my question and keep talking. But she didn't.

"Well, I think since its Lissa's sibling we're trying to find, she should obviously be one of the ones to look for them. Christian would be with her, of course. And since I'm her Guardian, I'll be going with her, too." She sounded so professional, like a true Guardian would when discussing plans. This made me feel proud.

"Well," Adrian said, "that's settled then."

"I'll go," someone said. I didn't realise, until everyone turned to stare at me, that I was that someone.

"Excuse me?" Rose asked incredulously.

"I'll go," I repeated. "I'll help find Lissa's sibling." I turned to her, and spoke seriously. "I owe you Princess, it's the least I can do."

"Oh," she glanced at Rose. "Well, thanks, Dimitri. But that's really not necessary."

"No, it is necessary," I shook my head. I refused to back down. I had sworn to do everything I could to protect her, and I planned on keeping that promise. "I wouldn't have it any other way."

She bit her lip. I realised she must have been communicating with Rose through their bond – something I didn't know much about, but I knew enough. I watched them carefully. Rose gave a little shrug, and Lissa sighed. "Okay," she said, "I guess that's one group sorted."

"Abe said he would be able to get on the murderer's case straight away," Adrian declared. "He already has some suspicions, and since he has so many connections in America and Russia it would be easier for him than anyone else. And I guess your mum will help with that too, since she's his Guardian."

"Yeah, that works," Rose approved. "That just leaves you and Tasha to get Victor back."

Much to my annoyance, Adrian flashed her one of his stupid grins. "You can count on me, Little Dhampir."

I always wondered how he had come up with that nickname. Well, I liked my nickname for her better, anyway.

For the first time in hours, Tasha spoke. "I think this is a good idea," she grinned, placing a hand on my leg. I stiffened. Not wanting to hurt her feelings, I brushed it away gently and cleared my throat. She didn't seem to notice, and kept talking. "In my opinion, we should get to work as soon as we arrive in Baia."

"Yeah, well," Rose snapped, venom dripping from her words, "no one asked your opinion, did they?"

I was shocked. How could she talk to Tasha that way? Even after graduation, she still hadn't seemed to learn how to control her emotions. I knew full well that she didn't like her, but she was an adult now, not a child. And adults treat each other with respect. I was about to chastise her, but Tasha shook her head slightly. I frowned, but didn't say anything.

'What?" Rose demanded. "No," she snorted. Then she crossed her arms over her chest. "She's not doing a very good job."

Then I – and everyone else – realised that she hadn't gone crazy and started talking to people who weren't real, and was actually talking to Lissa.

The bond again. It still fascinated me more than anything else.

She turned to Adrian, who looked amused. "What?"

He laughed. "Nothing. It's just your auras."

"What about our auras?" she asked, suddenly curious. I was interested in these so called 'aura's' too.

"They're going crazy. Whenever you guys communicate… they shine really brightly. My eyes hurt."

"Good," Rose muttered.

I tuned out after that, disappointed that Adrian didn't elaborate. After what seemed like hours, we finally arrived at The Viktor. Adrian came back from the reception, his hands in his pockets. "They only had four rooms available for one night, all with double beds."

Great. I knew Adrian could have done better than that, what with all his money.

"But there's six of us," Rose frowned.

He simply shrugged. "That was all they had. Four people are going to have to share two rooms."

The lost hours of sleep were catching up with me, and I yawned. "I think we should all probably try and get some sleep. We have to leave early tomorrow to go to Baia." I was pretty sure everyone else was eager to get some sleep too, especially Lissa, Christian and Adrian. They were probably even weaker because they hadn't gotten their dose of blood in a while. As much as it disgusted me, I wondered what they were going to do about it while they were here. In Baia, there were Dhampir's who gave blood willingly, and even lived off the high, much like drug addicts – earning my home the title 'blood whore commune'. But I knew they wouldn't stoop that low.

Well, maybe Adrian might. Actually, Adrian probably would. I shivered, remembering Rose with his bite marks on her neck. And, of course, I remembered my bite marks on her neck. When I was a Strigoi, and had fed off her.

That was something I would never, ever forgive myself for. And that wasn't even the worst of the things I had done.

But then everyone disappeared, and I realised – all too late – who I was left behind with.

It was times like this when I was positive the world was out to get me.