Final Chapter: Parting Is Not The End

"Come on, Mako, wake up!" Saori said as she tried to pull the covers off of me on the last day of the academic year.

"Ugh… so early," I said, too sleepy to form a coherent sentence. Even half-asleep as I was, I knew this was significantly earlier than I usually got up.

"You asked me to get you up early today, remember? This might be your last chance to talk to Sodoko!"

I yawned and slowly rose to my feet, remembering my reason for getting involved in this. It had taken me too long to realize this, and now that I not only had an opportunity, but no likely future chances, I would not procrastinate or get cold feet.

"Come on, think of the look on Sodoko's face when you show up before her," Saori said.

As I quickly got ready in spite of my drowsiness, I realized that this was something Sodoko did every day, a routine she kept up on good days and bad. Now that I was doing things at her pace, I gained an appreciation for the difficulty of doing so; maybe Sodoko would have slept in if she had the choice. Perhaps Mom wanted me to realize that in doing things on other people's terms, I would come to understand them, part and parcel of becoming friends with them.

Getting up every day for school was mandatory. Tankery was something I had chosen myself, albeit largely so that I could graduate on time, and not knowing about early morning matches- I think the same went for Sodoko and the disciplinary committee. But this time, I had chosen to get up earlier than I was required to on my own for the sake of doing something important, and for all I found it difficult, I was not going to let that deter me this time.


Fairly soon after we reached the school, Sodoko walked up to the gate, but came to a stop as she stared at me, her mouth gaping in surprise. After a moment, she regained her composure and turned to Saori.

"Takebe-san, is my watch slow, or has Reizei-san gotten in earlier than I did?" Sodoko said.

"Mako asked me to wake her up early today," Saori said. "She said she had something to talk to you about before you graduated."

"That's correct," I said. "To be exact, I don't think I ever properly thanked you."

"For deleting all the records of you being late or absent?" Sodoko said. "On the contrary, you gave a rather…. touching… 'thank you' to me for that back at the finals." Sodoko blushed a little as she recalled what had happened, but I think I saw her smile.

"No, not that," I said. "Every day, you've been out there, taking attendance, nagging me about being late. For a long time, I thought it was a pain, but I've thought about it in a new light and… you didn't want me to get held back, did you?"

"Well, this is part of my job," Sodoko said. "Disciplinary committee members are duty bound to make sure that all students receive equal treatment in accordance with the rules. Punishing them is merely an option of last resort to convince them and others to follow the rules by showing that it's good for all of us when they do, and that what they could gain by breaking the rules is more than offset by the punishment. Above all else, this is a school, and by doing what you're told and following the rules, you will learn what you need to know to be a good citizen and have a fulfilling life."

I furrowed my brow. Sodoko, not unlike Grandma, was the type to perform acts of kindness and make excuses like that.

"Is that it?" I asked expectantly.

Sodoko sighed and paused before resuming, apparently getting down to the heart of the matter.

"But yes, Reizei-san, there is a personal element to it," Sodoko said. "I have, to be honest, been a little jealous of you. I get good grades, but I have to spend a long time studying to do well on tests. You put far less effort in, and you're on top of the class. I thought, why did you get so much more out of your effort than I did? But then I thought of it differently- how far would you get if you put your entire effort in? What could you accomplish for yourself and for others? In the tankery tournament, we saw that answer- you helped drive the tank, and in that final drift against Nishizumi-san's sister's tank, you helped save our school. For that, I'm indebted to you, and believe that for trying so hard and succeeding at something that benefits all of Oarai, you don't deserve to be held back over something as comparatively trivial as your tardiness."

I took a moment to ponder the significance of what Sodoko had said. She had laid herself bare, showing, among other things, that the rules were not absolute to her, just as I was able to motivate myself to apply myself to certain tasks, and rise to certain challenges. The time had come for me to be honest with her about myself and my reasons for coming to speak with her.

"While we're giving confessions," I said, "I have another one to make. You personally remind me of two other women in my life."

Saori glanced at me with a sympathetic expression on her face. Clearly she understood where this was going. I simply nodded and continued.

"The first is my grandmother, Reizei Hisako," I said. "She has quite a temper, but she wants what's best for me, most of all for me to learn how to take care of myself so that I can one day care for others."

"Ah, her," Sodoko said. "I recall her being listed as a contact for you. I honestly had to wonder what had happened, especially on the day you showed up with that letter, but I decided that your… family circumstances weren't any of my personal or professional business unless you decided to tell me."

"The second is my mother," I said. "She was much like you and Grandma in how she always kept nagging me to try harder and live up to my full potential, even though I didn't see why I needed to back then. One day, I took it personally and got in a fight with her, and when I left for school, we were angry at each other."

I took a deep breath as I prepared to say the most painful part, the part that was most difficult to admit to myself and others. This gesture of mine was nothing if not difficult for me, though, so I decided that I had to tell Sodoko everything.

"That was the last time I spoke with her. Later that day, she and Dad were killed in an auto accident."

"I'm sorry to hear that, Reizei-san…" Sodoko said, with the same tenderness in her voice that she had showed when she apologized after reading the letter from Dr. Ishida. "But why would you tell me all this?"

"There is a reason I chose to do so now, Sodoko," I said. "I parted with Mom on bad terms, not knowing it would be the last time we spoke. Grandma might not live much longer; I don't know if she'll die years from now or today. The one thing that scares me more than getting up early, heights, ghosts or my grandmother's wrath is parting from someone who cares about me without acknowledging my appreciation for that care."

Saori, Sodoko and I remained silent for several moments, as Sodoko contemplated what she had heard. Finally, she, with a thoughtful expression on her face, cleared her throat and spoke.

"I understand what you're saying, Reizei-san, but I think you're wrong about one thing," Sodoko said.

"What's that?" I said, honestly having no idea what Sodoko was implying.

"This doesn't have to be the last time we hear from each other," Sodoko said, then produced a business card. I glanced it over, and saw her name, her position on the disciplinary committee and her contact information. It was very neat and professional, and as such, quite like her. "Feel free to stay in touch."

"Sure thing," I said, then opened my bag, produced a pen and a scrap of paper, and wrote my e-mail address on it. It had seemed like a hassle for me to get business cards, something that I considered to not be worth my time or money unless I became a professional who gave out her contact information on a regular basis.

"Thank you, Reizei-san," Sodoko said.

"No problem," I said.

Sodoko and I glanced around for a moment, and after seeing Saori looking on with a smile, and Gomoyo, who had recently arrived, doing the same, I noticed that students were starting to come in. I thus decided it was time to get going.

"I'll be going now," I said. "I've said everything I wished to. Thank you for listening, Sodoko."

"I'll see you later, Reizei-san," Sodoko said. "But keep in mind- Gomoyo and Pazomi are going to be watching over you next year, so you'd better keep coming to school on time."

"Gotcha," I said, as Saori and I entered the school ahead of most of the other students.

Maybe we can't know the future. Our lives or those of the people we care about can suddenly end. Our personality or place in life can end up being very different than what we expected. And there are times when we may have to challenge ourselves or go against the flow in order to get what we want or do the right thing. The road ahead in tankery has and will involve challenges greater than dragging myself out of bed in the morning. But it's also possibly the most fulfilling exercise I've ever been in; I've started to realize what they meant when they said it was good to help women develop their character.

I may never be able to apologize to Mom. But I can make up for my outburst by living up to her potential, acting kindly to others, and becoming the woman she always thought I would be. She would never be able to see it, but she had always believed it would happen, and for both our sakes, it was up to me to prove that she was correct in her belief.

As I yawned and rubbed my eyes, hoping to stave off the drowsiness from waking up early and dreading having to deal with an entire school day ahead, I realized that this task I had chosen for myself would not be easy by any stretch of the imagination, least of all for someone like me. But I knew that there were things worth trying hard for, and I was prepared to go at any pace necessary to achieve them.


Epilogue

This is not the final installment in the story of my life. At this point, I still have a year to go in high school, with many tests, tankery battles and other experiences during that time. My grandmother is still alive. Even my growth as a person will continue, after my decision to work to overcome my own vices and routines in order to accomplish great things.

And so I close this volume of the story of my life knowing that it is not an end, but a beginning, and that there is much in the future that has yet to be decided. Some things cannot be changed, but the rest are up to me. I look forward to striving toward, and ultimately seeing, the outcome.

Reizei Mako


Author's Notes
Thank you for reading this fic and for the reviews.

This chapter was originally a one-shot I had planned, as part of a series showing certain characters as they graduated from school- Sodoko in this case, as it would show how her relationship with Mako changed over time. However, as I decided to make a longer story about Mako, I decided to include this scene at the end to sum things up about how much Mako has changed. She's willing to put in more effort in pursuit of the goals. She's able to recognize when people care about her, even when it's not always obvious. She's also become more comfortable talking about herself, even difficult subjects. It also recognizes that this process has just begun for her; tankery has played a significant role in it, but there will be more developments to come in the future.

Mako's perspective is after the events of the series, but not after the second series. This was largely meant to show her looking back on events with more perspective, to contrast her perspective at the time of the telling with her perspective at the time the events occurred. It can be interesting seeing how characters look back on certain events, especially when they've gone through character development since then.