Wished I owned but I don't sadly.
Chapter 9: Illness?
I slowly and miserably opened my eyes. I'd had the most disturbing dream ever and I definitely didn't want to relive it.
I was standing with Edward in the forest – both of us were blissfully happy and innocently kissing in the sunlight. Edward pulled away from me, his skin sparkling like golden glitter, mesmerizing me. He turned around and started walking away without saying a word and on instinct, I ran after him. I followed him for hours, hollering at him, begging him not to go, I apologized profusely – but he wouldn't stop and just kept walking.
In an instant, he was face to face with me and I ran into his chest face first. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to my forehead then he stared at me for a while, caressing my cheek before he gave me a feather light kiss on the lips.
That was the most affection I had received from him for a week of dreams and it startled me. I shouted his name and sat upright immediately, scanning my room to verify that it was only a dream.
I looked around and saw nothing out of the ordinary. I glanced over to my clock and saw it was only four in the morning – I was so going back to sleep. I nearly missed it but there was a piece of folded paper leaned up against my cell phone with the word 'Bella' written on it in a familiar, beautiful, calligraphic handwriting. I reached for the note with a trembling hand, I couldn't take if this turned out to be a dream also, not another dream within a dream. I slowly and hesitantly opened the note and read the gorgeous wording.
I can't handle another starless month alone.
Please give me one month,
I need to do some thinking and preparing.
I'll return to you by the full moon in August.
Love you forever,
Edward
Please pinch me, don't let this be a dream, please. I clutched the note tightly in my hand and held it to my chest. Did Edward really say he would be back in one month? He said he would be back by the full moon in August – if he didn't, I will sic his brothers on him. I took a deep breath to calm my breathing then I laid back down – I knew I had the biggest shit-eating grin on my face as I fell back to sleep.
The rest of the night was normal, with the exception of the dream where Edward was following me around his house on his knees, begging me to forgive him while he apologized.
I awoke late the next morning feeling better than I had these last several weeks. As I started fully waking up, I was hit with a wave of dread. Had last night really happened? It wasn't a dream was it? My eyes shot down to the hands resting on the pillow and clutched tightly in my right hand was a now crumpled piece of paper. I sat up slowly, opened the note, and read over the words again, then again to make sure I was reading them correctly.
My heart jumped into my throat as I fought back tears of elation. I guess my playlist convinced him, I was definitely not moving on without him.
Due to the note Edward had left me, I was now in a lighthearted mood and felt I could do anything while perched on top of cloud nine. I sprang from my bed and scurried in to take a shower and get ready for the day. It was now Thursday and I had to be at work in three hours.
After my shower, I changed and made sure I grabbed my phone off the nightstand – didn't want to miss Edward's call if he decided to talk to me. I sprinted downstairs and made myself a bowl of coco puffs cereal then I went about straightening up the kitchen.
I had another hour until work started but I decided to leave early anyway. It wasn't sunny but it wasn't raining either and there was no wind to chill me so I decided to walk the short distance to the vet office.
I walked inside the office quietly and accidently scared the doctor, he wasn't expecting me yet or maybe it was the smile I knew was plastered on my face.
'Whoa, what happened? She's smiling, she's been depressed for weeks now,' Doctor Kurt was without a doubt surprised about my behavior.
"Morning doc," I walked over and took my seat behind the desk, still smiling.
"Mo…morning Bella. Good news I take it?" he stuttered as he flipped the sign to 'Open'.
All I could do was nod for fear of actually giggling out in cheerfulness.
"Good, I'm glad to see you smiling again. The clinic should be in a better mood now as well," he grabbed up a clipboard and walked down the hallway to the back of the clinic. 'I so hope she got back with her boyfriend, she was always so happy when she was with him.'
Was there anyone who hadn't noticed what a wreck I was without Edward?
"Oh Bella, we had a cat brought in on Wednesday and she had five kittens. I'll need you to check in on her every so often to make sure she's nursing and the kittens are doing okay," I jumped from my seat and almost ran to the holding room. The doctor chuckled from behind me as I neared the cage I heard the tiny mewing emitting from.
They were all so adorable, two creams and three grays – just like mommy. She was purring up a storm as all five of her babies latched on to her nipples tightly. "They all seem to be doing great to me."
Kurt walked up beside me and peeked inside the cage. "Yep, looks like she's doing fine. Okay, back to work."
He ushered me out of the room with a smile, he wasn't being rude or anything since he had a smile on his face. I went back to the desk just as a call came in. A man wanted to make an appointment to have his dog spayed now that the pups were weaned. I quickly took down his information and scheduled him for next Monday.
Being the only veterinary clinic in an hours' drive had its advantages and Doctor Kurt was the only physician to work here. This small place was surprisingly busy.
Throughout the day, there had been six more calls, four scheduling appointments, one confirming for tomorrow and one question for the doctor. There were only four appointments scheduled for today – three surgeries and one check-up – which I assisted on for all four. Overall, it was a normal day at work.
Just as I was punching out for the day, Kurt had a random thought that innerved me and had me frozen in place – time card suspended in midair.
'Four large dogs now, damn. What in the world is going on? So, I guess Jim isn't going completely crazy. He's going to have a field day when he hears this news.'
I heard a heavy sigh from the back room and quickly pulled myself from his mind and stamped out. After hollering goodnight to the doctor, I swiftly made my way out of the clinic and nearly sprinted home. I was amazed that I had only stumbled seven times in the half-mile trek between clinic and house.
The house was quiet, empty, and extremely eerie. Having heard about the giant dogs on the loose in the woods hadn't help my anxiety any. I took a deep breath then started chuckling as a thought occurred to me – I was a hypocrite.
I hung out with vampires for Christ sakes and here I am worried about an overgrown puppy. What kind of person would I be if I was scared of one type of monster but not another? In all honesty, at least vampires are more or less human. They don't run around on all fours and sniff each other's asses.
Out of habit, I dead-bolted the door behind me and made my way upstairs, where I flopped down on my bed. A small piece of paper fluttered across the bed and landed near my right hand.
A small smile creased my lips as I reached for the piece of parchment. It was the same note from this morning but the words still hit me like a freight train.
One month. Edward had asked me to be patient for one month while he prepared, prepared for what? The thinking I understood, but the preparing had me confused. Wouldn't it be easier to prepare for whatever it was with my help?
I was startled from my musing when 'Bad Boys' started echoing in my room. I moaned at the realization, that internally – Bad Boys wasn't the ring tone that I had hoped to hear.
"Hi dad, what's up?" I rolled over onto my back and stared at the ceiling as I awaited Charlie's response.
He sighed loudly before answering my innocent question – this was not good. "There have been several missing hikers lately and reports of feral dogs. I'm staying down in La Push tonight to try and formulate a plan with some of the locals."
I sat up quickly and stared out the window. I had 'heard' about the dogs but I had no idea people were missing. Were these crazed animals taking out innocent people? The only other possible threat were nomadic vampires but Alice would have mentioned them if that was a possibility.
"Bella?" Charlie's voice came over the phone and sounded very worried. "If you're-"
"No, I'm not scared. I was just thinking about those poor hikers. How many are missing…do you have any clues?" I quickly recovered and halted my father's idea of returning for my sake when he needed to be somewhere else.
"Four are reported missing but there may be more, we're not sure yet and the only clue is a lot of blood and large paw prints around the sites," he sighed again and I vaguely heard shouting in the background. "Yes its Bella…I'm telling her…no you…yes…Jake, knock it…"
"Hey Bella?" hearing Jacob's voice come over the line surprised me.
"Jacob, did you just take the phone from my dad?" It was a rhetorical question but I seemed to find the humor in the scenario.
"Um, yeah…I did…Hey, I have a question."
I chuckled at his sudden change of subject. He was such an easygoing boy and his mind was always innocent and pure – unlike a certain blond, egocentric jock I knew. I scoffed as I ran my hand through my hair. "What's your question Jake?"
"Well um, I was wondering if you would join me for a movie tomorrow night," you could literally hear the embarrassment dripping from his voice – it was cute.
"Sure," I laughed when I heard Billy yell at Jake to stop standing on the couch. "Just as friends of course, Edward should be back in a month?"
"Of course, I wouldn't dare tread on his territory!" I could almost visualize the smirk that was on his face. "Pick you up tomorrow at six?"
"Sounds good, wait…in what?" Last I knew, he only had the motorbike, thanks to me. "Not the bike I hope."
"No, definitely not, I finished the rabbit yesterday."
I cringed as I thought about the little car that I saw resting outside his garage whenever I came over. "I'm not going to have to walk home tomorrow night am I?"
"NO, that's mean, have some faith. I did rebuild the Chevy remember…among other things," I wished I could see his face right now. I knew he wasn't actually hurt, he was just playing and I couldn't help but giggle – a small smile lengthened my lips.
"You seem to be in a good mood, probably because the missing boyfriend is finally returning right?" My once small smile grew at the mention of Edward's return.
I hummed my reply happily and Jake snickered. "I'll see you tomorrow night okay?"
"Yep, night, bye..." the phone clicked off and I was left in complete silence again.
Being in a house that was totally and utterly noiseless was innerving. I quickly strolled downstairs to the kitchen and went spelunking in the fridge for something to eat. After searching for half an hour, I settled on a bowl of cereal. After washing my dishes, I snagged an apple off the counter then went and hid in my room for the rest of the night.
After nibbling my apple down to the core and snuggling into bed on my stomach, I started to read my book, a collective work on Jane Austen's stories. Despite having read the stories repeatedly – I couldn't help myself…they were my favorites.
I had no idea that I had fallen asleep until I was blinded by sunlight spilling through the sheer curtain on my window. I squinted tightly and pulled the pillow over my head to hide the brightness that was threatening my eyesight.
I growled as I rolled out of bed then glared at the sunshine beaming down on my lap. No vampires out today apparently. On my way to the bathroom I groaned – another lonesome day, another night without Edward, another boring day at work, another movie I had to fake happiness through.
Once I had dressed, I headed toward the clinic, and looked over the agenda book to see what was planned for the day. My eyes widened at the long list of appointments – seven check-ups, three surgeries, and one declawing. I so hope the doctor wasn't over working himself.
Eight hours later, Kurt finally released me to go home and enjoy my weekend. Sure, I would go out and do things, but I wouldn't enjoy it, not for another month until Edward was by my side anyway.
I reached the house then quickly threw a salad together before Jake showed up. As soon as I placed my washed plate in the dish-rack there was a knock at the door. I glanced at the clock on the microwave, right on time, I retrieved my coat and wallet from the back of the couch then opened the front door. I wasn't surprised to see the six foot tanned boy in front of me.
The look on his face surprised me though. His eyes were wide and his mouth was gaping. I arched an eyebrow in curiosity as he continued to stare.
'How does she make jeans and a flannel shirt look hot and sexy?' I cringed at his inner question. 'Oh shit, I probably look like an idiot.' He shook his head slightly and cleared his throat. "Ready to go?"
I was a bit hesitant due to Jake's thoughts but I eventually nodded and locked the door behind me. I turned to see a small white rabbit sitting in the driveway and I don't mean the fluffy, cottontail type – it was the four-wheeled metal kind. It had several spots of rust which is expected when you live on the coast – gotta love the coastal salt air.
I pointed a shaky finger at the small vehicle I knew Edward would have a cow if he saw – more so if he saw me in it. "Is that thing safe?"
He rolled his eyes and pushed me toward the car. "Its fine, get in."
I planted my feet on the ground and refused to get in to the car. Jacob stopped pushing on my back and looked at me with narrowed eyes. I held out my hand before him. "Do you have your license yet?"
He grumbled under his breath before slamming the keys into my hand then stalked over to the passenger side of the car. 'This is so not cool. Being chaffered around by a girl, at least she's a hot girl – taken, but hot none the less.'
Jake's thoughts were really starting to worry me. What was once sweet, protective and innocent were now turning into hormonal, wanton and lustful. I followed him with the corner of my eye as we both climbed into the car. I started the engine and it started without a problem, it didn't purr like the Volvo but it didn't roar or moan like my Chevy so I figured it was alright.
I tried to keep my eyes focused on the road in front of me but Jacob continued to have sporadic and random thoughts. A few of them even caused the hair on the back of my neck to stand upright.
'So beautiful…'
'Her Edward is insane…'
'Wonder if she'd ever consider dating someone younger…'
What is wrong with him? He's never acted or thought like this. Maybe he was just at that age where he started to find girls interesting…god, I hope that was it.
We arrived at the movie theater in just under an hour. Normally the drive would take almost an hour and a half – the Cullens must be wearing off on me. After exiting the car and walking to the main doors, we stood staring at the available movies listed above the ticket booth. Normally I would jump at the chance to watch a lusty romantic flick, but lately I couldn't handle it – not without Edward by my side.
Just like before, we settled on a comedic action flick. After purchasing our tickets and buying a large popcorn, we shuffled into the darkened room and awaited for the movie to start.
Jacob's thoughts started to travel down a scary road and I began squirming in my seat next to him.
'It would be so nice if she would hold my hand…'
'If her boyfriend doesn't return soon, I might just have to take her…'
'…how could he leave such a gorgeous creature alone for so long?'
Due to his thoughts and wandering eyes, I wasn't even paying attention to the movie that had started playing before us. He started laughing at something in the movie and he rested his arm on the back of my seat.
Why was he doing this? He's supposed to be my friend not the lovelorn third wheel that hoped for something he could never have. I was madly in love with Edward and it would stay that way until the stars stopped shining and the sun ceased to warm the earth. My chest tightened almost infinitesimally as I tried to imagine my life without Edward in it – that was not a life I even wanted to attempt to live.
"Bella, are you alright?" I glanced from my lap to a worried Jacob next to me. I suddenly realized that people were filing out of the theater and I noticed the credits were rolling on the large screen – I had missed the entire movie.
I nodded meekly and stood to leave. A strong hand grasping my arm startled me.
'No you don't,' I looked up to see Jake's face was very stern and angry. "What is wrong with you? You didn't look at the screen even once. You didn't even want to come tonight did you?"
My eyes widened at the gruffness in his voice and the tightening of his fingers. "Jake, that's not it at all-"
"Really?" he interrupted me and his eyes narrowed to almost slits. "What then, were you hoping for your MIA boyfriend that can't even bother to call you for almost a month? What is so important that he can't even give you the time of day?"
Anger, shame, loneliness and other emotions I couldn't identify at the moment boiled inside me. I wrenched my arm free of Jake's hold and glared up at him – he really needed to lay off the Miracle Gro. Anger was at the forefront of my overpowering feelings right now.
"What's wrong with me? What's wrong with you? You've never questioned my behavior before, you know Edward is away helping friends and you also know I miss him terribly!" I tried to force my way down the aisle, eager to get away from him.
"Tell me something, why didn't you go with him than?" Jacob growled his question at me and it stopped me short. 'I bet they did break-up and she doesn't want to admit it.'
I cringed at his hurtful thinking, I know he didn't mean to be cruel but sometimes even the most innocent of opinions can bring pain. "I have a job remember and I didn't want to be a distraction for him," it was scary how easily lying was becoming – maybe I should take up acting classes.
Jacob scoffed then stormed out of the theater, heading straight for the rabbit. I hung back several yards as I watched his body shake visibly – his anger had obviously taken hold of his body.
'She's right, what is wrong with me? I've never been so quick-of-temper before. Am I sick or something?' He rested his forehead against the roof of the car and took several deep breaths.
"Get in…I'll take you home," Jacob grumbled something incoherent before sliding into the passenger seat.
'Well, this has turned into a fucked up date!'
I glared out the windshield as I started the car and pulled out of the parking lot. I so wanted to shout at my passenger. Firstly, we weren't on a date and secondly, watch your mouth. Maybe he is ill – he currently seemed to be emitting a lot of heat causing me to crack my window to get some cool air.
I parked the car in front of my house within an hour of leaving Port Angeles. I killed the engine and reached inside my pocket for my cell phone. "I'm calling Billy to come get-" an overheated hand pressed down on mine, halting the button pressing I was doing.
"I can drive home, its no problem," when I looked at his pained face that now had beads of sweat on his brow, I wanted to argue vehemently. "I'll go slow."
"But you don't look well enough to-"
"LET ME GO! I'll be fine…" I flinched and bit down on my bottom lip – hard. I was in shock, I don't remember Jacob ever talking to me like that – it scared me.
I sprang from the car and slammed the door behind me. "At least call me when you make it home so I know you got home safe," I heard him grunt and he started to pull himself over into the driver seat.
I walked over, stood on the porch, and watched as Jacob drove away. True to his word, he definitely drove home slowly, I could have walked faster than the speed those tires were turning. Even if he was going at a snail's pace, with the way he looked so sick, it still made me nervous.
I sighed heavily then retreated into the house. I waited in the kitchen for the phone to ring, whether he called my cell or the house phone – I was ready and waiting. Nearly an hour later the home phone finally started ringing.
"Jake…" I picked up before the first ring had even finished.
"Sorry Bella, its Billy. Jake just got home and mumble to me that he had to call you. He fell over on to the couch and hasn't moved since. At least he's still breathing, but damn he's burning up," the worry in his voice was evident but it was laced with anticipation and hope.
A sigh of relief escaped past my lips. "Oh, I'm glad he made it home safely. Have him call me once he's feeling better, alright."
"Will do, Bella, thanks," he hung up before farewells could be uttered. I leaned against the countertop and stared at the phone while it beeped loudly in the silent room.
I was a bit surprised by Billy's rudeness over the phone, though I shouldn't be really. Billy had made it obvious about his distaste for my choice in a boyfriend in the past, was Billy one to hold that against me. Did he see me as a bad egg, a bad influence now because I hang-out with the Cullens' and dated one?
It was already late at night due to the movie and Charlie had left me a note saying he'll be home late tonight and not to wait up so I decided to snuggle up in my bed and attempt to sleep.
After finishing my nighttime routine and slipping into a pair of black boy shorts and a violet tank top, I buried myself under my bed covers. I clung tightly to my phone, prepared for when Jacob called me to tell me was well again. I couldn't get the image of him weak, sweating, and slumped against the car window out of my mind. He looked to be in pain but didn't say anything other than the occasional grunt or groan. I hope its just a twenty-four hour bug and he'll be fine by tomorrow evening.
At some point during the night, I had fallen asleep. A light tapping on my window caused me to spring forward and I was at it before I had finished taking a breath. My heart sank when I looked out the window and realized the tapping was just the rain hitting on the pain of glass.
I slowly walked back over to my bed and flumped down. I glanced quickly at my phone and my heart sank even further at seeing I had no missed calls or text messages. I decided to call Jacob again and see how he was doing this morning. It took me less than twenty seconds to ring his house.
On the fifth ring, the phone was finally picked up. "Hello?"
"Billy, how is Jake doing?" I asked quickly, eager to hear the answer to my friends' welfare.
"Um, he's fine…he has mono so he can't go outside for awhile," his voice was panicked, hesitant, nervous even. What I wouldn't give to be there right now to read his mind and find out the truth behind his edginess.
"Well, can I at least talk to him, wish him well and hope that he gets better soon?" I knew something was definitely wrong when I heard his sharp intake of air.
"Um, sorry he's asleep right now but I'll give him your message…" dial tone again. He hung up on me again! If he was hoping to come across as innocent, he was failing miserably. Innocent people don't hang up on concerned friends. Everything from last night till now was screaming 'suspicious' at me. I decided I would call later in the day, when I knew Jacob would be awake.
There wasn't much for me to do on a Saturday during summer break, so I conceded to my boring day and did chores around the house. Once laundry and dishes were washed and random things picked up I sat down on the couch with my phone pressed to my ear.
"Hello?" Billy's voice came on the line swiftly.
"Is he awake now? It is three in the afternoon after all," there was a long pause on the other line and I winced at the possible lie I feared he would come up with.
"…No, he isn't. The doctor says he needs all the sleep he can get. I'll tell him you called…"
I slammed my phone shut angrily upon hearing the dial tone again. Billy was quickly making an enemy out of me and considering how passive I naturally am, that was saying a lot.
Charlie was out with others searching for the giant dogs and the missing hikers, Jacob was hiding from me, Edward was off thinking and preparing – I guess I'll go hang out with my second family, the vampires. Maybe they could lift up my mood.
Sunday arrived with another elusive Billy and Jacob.
Monday appeared with loads of sunshine, several appointments at work and still no Jake.
Tuesday was rather boring at work and I attempted to contact my missing friend again – nothing.
Due to no work on Wednesday, I resorted to calling the Black's house every hour on the hour.
I had an appointment on Thursday after work but once I was done with that, I drove directly to the Cullens' to vent my anger.
"Make a personal appearance tomorrow after work," Emmett suggested while pummeling Jasper's character with his fists on his video game.
"He's right you know. You've been calling for a week with no reply and their elusive behavior has you extremely worried," I opened my mouth to argue my feelings at Jasper but he raised an eyebrow as if to dare me to argue. I snapped my mouth shut and bit my bottom lip and glared at them. Annoying, know-it-all vampires!
'Bella, you'll feel better if you go and check on him, you know you will and I know it too,' Alice's thought made my eye twitch, and I growled at her as she stood behind Jasper playing with his hair.
'Damn it, is she trying to distract me?' Jasper fidgeted in his seat as he attempted to concentrate on the game.
I scoffed at Jasper's reaction to Alice's handling of his hair. At the same time, my chest constricted, whenever Edward touched me, it caused the same reaction from me – and I missed it terribly.
"Alice, you need to stop that before your best friend implodes on herself," he hissed at his wife then shot a strong wave of confidence and reassurance at me.
Alice's eyes widened as she slowly turned her head from Jasper to look at me. Her hands shot to her mouth in terror. 'Oh my god, I'm so sorry, I didn't even realize I was doing it.'
I sighed as I stood up and moved slowly toward the door. "I guess I'm going down to La Push tomorrow night. I'll call to let you know how things went…unless a little bird tells you before I do," I glance at Alice and she giggled quietly as she shrugged her shoulders.
'Kick his ass if that boy gets out of line!'
"Thanks for the advice Rose, I'll consider it," leave it to Rosalie to suggest brute force.
With the decision made, I headed home, finalizing my plans. Come rain, shine, snow or high water, I was going to the Black's house tomorrow and I wasn't going to leave until I saw and spoke to Jacob. Whether we remained friends after tomorrow night or not, I couldn't tell you.
Tomorrow I would find out why he was avoiding me and where we stood in the friendship.
Chapter End Notes:
I hope the note from Edward was okay. Everyone has been wanting him to return soon, so does the note help you readers and Bella? I know Edward says he can't handle another month alone then he asks for a month so he can think. I worded it that way because if he knows she'll be waiting for him for the next month he won't feel so alone, she's technically with him (in spirit and mind), he has something to look forward to. Sorry if this came across confusing, it makes sense in my head. :-P
Any idea as to what is wrong with Jake? If you've read NM I would hope it was a no-brainer question.
