Disclaimer: Characters and setting are not owned by me. Plot and mild insanity? Yeah, okay, that might be mine.
Chapter 9: Pink Haired Blacks... and Why it's a Bad Idea
Sirius swore he was going to kill the idiot who had turned his hair pink. Slowly, painfully, and with lots and lots of glitter. He stalked down to the kitchen for some food – no way was he letting the fool laugh himself silly in the Great Hall – when he ran into Regulus. Who also had pink hair. "Any idea who hit us?" Regulus asked, a dangerous glimmer in his eyes. Sirius shook his head, though the look in his eyes matched his brother's. "Well then... think you could cast a glamor on us to make it look like our hair isn't dyed pink? The one with the disappointed face should be our culprit. I'd do it myself, but I'm not that good yet," Regulus suggested. Sirius slammed his palm into his forehead.
"Of course! Regulus, you are a genius! Then again, it's a rather simple solution. I wonder why it didn't cross my mind? Ah well, stand still, I haven't gotten used to doing these in this body you know, so it will take a bit of doing," he said. Regulus nodded and stood perfectly still. Five minutes later, Regulus was done and Sirius was frowning at his wand. "It should not take that long," he growled, before closing his eyes and letting out a deep, slow breath and waving his wand in a complicated pattern over his own head. Six tried later, his hair appeared the same raven wing black color as ever. Regulus was giving his brother a sympathetic look. "Okay... now let's go disappoint a fool!" the elder brother said, a sadistic gleam reentering his eyes. Regulus chuckled darkly, matching his brother for sadism. Sirius was so proud of his baby brother. They grow up so fast you know?
"Heck yeah!" he crowed, then took off down the hall toward the Great Hall where everyone else was enjoying breakfast. Sirius followed only slightly more sedately. He was plotting, you see, and it does not good to run while you plot. The evil chuckles floating toward Regulus tipped him off to what his brother was doing, and he slowed down. No way was he going to attack without his big brother's input. Sirius was scarily creative when it came to revenge. All he had to do was remember the Blue Haired Slytherin Incident to know that.
/*/
There was an unnatural chill in the air as the Brothers Black entered the Great Hall. One Ravenclaw was watching the door a little too intently as the brothers entered, and frowned a little too deeply when he was them. 'Target Locked,' Sirius thought, seeing the frown. Regulus shivered slightly, and both brothers gave the boy grins. However, these were not the kind of grins you want aimed your way. No. these were the grins of a pair of ruthless, sadistic, bloodthirsty, killers. Jason Gleaming shivered. Then the brothers began to chuckle, low, dark, and promising pain and torment beyond imagining. Jason fainted. The brothers laughed. Jason's friends turned slowly toward the unconscious idiot. "What did you do?" the closest one whispered in dread. Sirius walked over and handed them a piece of paper.
"For your friend, when he wakes," the elder Black Brother said, still grinning his slasher grin. The poor boy nodded. He put the note in his pocket, not daring to read what the suddenly very terrifying Black had to say to his friend. That night, wails of anguish could be heard from the first year boy's wing of Ravenclaw tower. Regulus, a few doors down, and Remus, in the third year's wing, chuckled darkly. The boy had read the note. What did it say? 'You have signed your warrant.'
/*/
It had been a month and a half, and the Brothers Black had been smiling and speaking cordially to Jason the Foolish Ravenclaw. Said Foolish Ravenclaw was nearly paranoid. "They're there, waiting. I know they are! Waiting, with their smiles and their polite greetings and their silent promises of doom. You will not make me go," Jason hissed at his friends when they tried to drag him out of the Tower one sunny Saturday morning. They sighed, and then Regulus came up to them with a blinding grin.
"Hey guys! What's wrong?" he asked, oh-so-innocently with an oh-so-friendly smile on his face.
"AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH! IT'S HIM! I TOLD YOU! I TOLD YOU! But did you listen? NO!" Jason screamed. Regulus chuckled, because Blacks do not giggle, and said,
"Oh come now Jason! What could I do to hurt you with your friends right beside you? You're perfectly safe." A rather disheveled head peeked out, eyes narrowed.
"I don't believe you," he bit out, then vanished. Regulus sighed, though the two boys beside him felt that he was really laughing... no, cackling, with glee at the discomfort he was causing Jason.
"Then I guess you're going to miss the pancakes and cream cheese and strawberries and... french toast... that's for breakfast today," the Black said. Jason sighed and came out, though he never took his eyes off the Black. They're tricky people after all. Never know when they'll shoot a color changer, or something worse, at your back. Regulus smiled 'happily' at the boy. "See? That wasn't so bad, now was it?" he asked. Too bad Jason's misgivings were well founded that morning. The Blacks sat on either side of him that meal, and took note of how frazzled he was. They decided to put him out of his misery. The first part of the prank was enacted that afternoon at lunch.
/*/
"WHY AM I PINK!?" Jason roared, shooting up from his place at the table. The Blacks carefully didn't pay him any attention, though those paying attention could see the savage glee in their eyes. James sighed and shook his head.
"You attempted to prank them, didn't you?" he asked. Jason's already pink face lit up. "Ye~~~~~ah, don't," James said seriously while the brother's Black chuckled, low and dark, from the Slytherin table. Regulus had readily adopted Sirius' habit of eating at seemingly random tables. It made for a much wider friend base. Remus snickered, also sitting at the Slytherin table.
"You were right Siri. Slytherin does have the best view!" the sandy haired Ravenclaw said, popping another blueberry in his mouth. Regulus was munching on a strawberry and chuckling. No-one was quite sure how, but he managed to be adorable and terrifying at the same time. Sirius grinned.
"Phase two: complete. Initiate phase three," he said before sucking another grape into his mouth with a pop. Jason really didn't want to know what phase three was.
/*/
"Seriously?" Jason asked, looking at his trunk. All of his clothes had been replaced with, or transfigured into, it was hard to tell when in a school of magic users, dresses. And not just any dresses, oh no! Pink frilly dresses. Oh yeah, and it had been three weeks since 'phase three' had been enacted. Jason was officially over pranking. Still, there was on-one that would save him from this, so with a sigh, he put on his frilly pink dress and walked out to breakfast, thought the Blacks had been kind enough to prank him on a Saturday. Again. He wasn't quite sure he'd ever look at Saturdays the same way again. Seeing as Jason wasn't as mortified as the first time, the Blacks took pity on him and reversed the transfiguration by dinner and said, in unison,
"Operation Pink Revenge: complete."
"Oh thank Merlin!" Jason said, falling forward. The Blacks shared a Look, shrugged, and dug into their peach cobbler. It was declared that the Black Brothers were not to be specifically targeted on pain of paranoia, humiliation, and possible insanity. The Brothers Black had no beef with that.
