Previously
And with that I left them staring dumb founded in the foyer and raced up in my bed.
Too eager to actually embrace my lost dreams.
The plush and utter contentment I felt in that moment was enough to lure me to sleep the minute my head hit the pillow.
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'No one is in control of your happiness but you; therefore, you have the power to change anything about yourself or your life that you want to change.'
- Barbara de Angelis
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"Momma?" the little girl with brown hair stood at the doorway, staring at the distant snow.
"Where'd mama go?" she asked Mrs. Cope, the elderly lady her mother had sent her to get.
She wouldn't just disappear and leave her alone with strangers. She had to have gotten lost in the snow. Her father once told her to never play alone in the snow, perhaps it had gotten her momma, out here alone in the snow.
And she had left her there alone.
"Mamma!" the girl dashed from the porch before the headmaster could catch her. There was little light, everything a dull grey, but she could see a little.
"Mamma where are you?" The young girl cried, tears developing in her eyes as she looked everywhere. The streetlight shone overhead, like a personal star to guide and protect her. That's what her mother told her stars were, little guardians to protect little girls.
"ISABELLA!" she heard her name being called and for a second she thought her mother had come back but then the old lady appeared, obviously frazzled.
"You'll catch your death out here" Mrs. Cope scolded her and grabbed her hand.
She fought back, she had to get her mother before something bad happened.
"No! I need to find mamma" Bella struggled in the woman's grasp.
"We'll find her in the morning"
Bella looked up "Promise?"
She sniffled. "The snow will give her back in the morning?"
"Yes"
That night, Bella got on her hands and knees like her mother taught her and prayed to God.
"Please bring my mamma back, I promise to be a good girl from now on"
It was a simple prayer but the young girl felt content when she finally laid her head down to rest.
She dreamed sweet dreams that night, her mother humming while plaiting her hair.
Cooking inedible cookies in the pantry.
Laughing as soap bubbles flew around the thin tub as mother and daughter battled for the rubber duck.
In the morning when she woke up, the snow was gone but her mother was nowhere to be found.
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I gasped and sat up, sweat dotting my forehead. I couldn't remember the last time I had been plagued by that dream – by such emotions. The darkness of it still seemed to be swirling within my fogged head. I almost felt drunk with the plague of sleep, my thoughts quaking with the recent events and the remembered dream. The figure of my silhouette crying in the cold snow trying to bring my mother back.
Ridding myself of the dream I focused on dressing – reserving every moment of the human task. I felt the slide of cotton against my skin, caressing me as if a lover. The fresh 'Gain' scent tantalized my nostrils feeling me with comfort. I breathed in relief as my feet sank gracefully into my sneakers – the phoenix had not caused any side effects within my body except for its now freedom.
I was put off when I saw Esme already feeding Edward his breakfast. She seemed to be singing to him, in that motherly way of hers.
"He started screaming when I checked on him" Esme said as a way of explanation when she saw the look I was directing at her. Her voice did not shake but her head was still in a bit of chaos and I smiled warmly to placate her.
I felt bad, too hooked up in my own bad memories to give the subsistence my mate craved.
"Thank you" I murmured, taking over.
"Bella" Edward squealed when his emerald eyes caught my brown ones. He appeared as vibrant as before, his feet kicking the back of his high car. I was still in awe of such a creature – my mate. I allowed the flush of warmness to rush over me.
He waved and my heart melted.
"Good Morning sweetheart" I kissed his forehead, brushing away his curly locks.
His velvet red lips opened and closed accordingly as I fed him the warm oats, carefully blowing each spoonful. The heat of the warm cereal did not smell like the putrid odor it often infused within me each morning when I had fed Edward, instead it now had an earthy but still edible feel to it. Still I was not ready to truly revert back into the notion of consuming human food.
The morning felt warm coming in from the window. I was still stunned my body could feel so hot, moving in time with each breathe I took, pushing my blood throughout my veins – making me live.
It was a blessing I had thought would elude me for the rest of my existence.
The beast was now awake within me, purring contently – rejoiced in its newfound freedom. I stroked its fierce head in greeting. Loving him more as it nuzzled my offered hand and turned over in bliss. All was forgiven within him. Love came and went freely within us – taking many different forms.
"What we do today?" Edward asked once he had eaten each grain of his breakfast. He sipped his cup looking at me expectantly.
"Please park, please park"
Edward was not aware that he was projecting his thoughts to me and I couldn't stop the giggle that left my lips at the innocence of it all. The sound alone caused me to smile at myself – so different with the last twenty four hours. Time had started to affect me – capturing me within its sands and drafting me to its will. I was no longer the fierce hollow shell in which a spirit caught cold – a shadow of my once self – but reborn to this time where my happiness and the happiness of my mate controlled me.
"How about we invite Alice and Emmett to go with us to the park" I suggested, projecting the question to each of their minds which were currently in the surrounding perimeters of the house. Each answer was an affirmative yes – yet the tension had not diminished. There being a reason I had not invited Rosalie or Jasper. Their minds still held hurt pride and scorn – their feelings so loud I still felt them over the springs to the north of our house. I felt guilt for inciting such emotions but I could not dwell on them for too long. A giggling toddler immediately attracting my attention.
Edward quickly nodded his head in delight. I purred at the satisfaction of my mate – happy in his happiness.
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My brother pushed my mate on the swings – laughing that boisterous laugh that had parents and children alike turning their heads. I just shook my head – too happy to really care – as long as Edward's joyful squeals continued everything would be alright.
Instead I focused my attention on my coven sister – Alice who had still not said a word. I could feel her concern – her fear and overall her apprehension.
"I will not hurt you…you know that right?" I asked her – bluntly getting to the topic of discussion. I missed her lilting laughs and graceful jumps. Her optimism and perhaps naivety. I did not like the forlorn creature that now sat beside me, only facing me when I took possession of her chin and tilted her head upwards.
Her golden eyes searched mines for the answers I could not speak. Her small form almost looked diminished behind my eyes as she continued to stare in my brown orbs. I was tempted to read her but such invasion of privacy was not in my character.
"Will you go hunting with me?" She asked – her emotions were all over the place – black and white- red blue hues.
I couldn't deny her so I nodded my head "After I put Edward to bed."
She was silent for the rest of the trip and eventually I left the park side bench to help Edward down the slide, smiling when he giggled at me.
Emmett seemed to have gotten back to his old self, approaching me with smiling eyes.
I could tell something was up- especially when he had disappeared to talk with one of the human fathers.
Bending down on one knee a laugh escaped him as he asked "Will you go out with me?"
I immediately sought what he had been hiding – acting on a dare given my some human male named John. Everyone in the park had been infatuated with me from the time I had entered the vicinity. It was the phoenix's warmth calling them to me.
I speared a glance at the so called John only to see him watching us in a daze.
Smiling and deciding to play with him I whispered in Emmett's ear "I don't think Rosalie would appreciate that."
I licked his lope.
His smirk dropped in surprise.
I laughed even harder when Edward – who had been playing piggyback on my back, reached down and slapped him.
"No Bella mine" he pouted at Emmett "I tell Rosie."
The rest of the afternoon at the park was spent with Emmett trying to coax Edward out of his strut – buying him ice cream and slushes until I had to put an end to when he started to turn green.
Finally Emmett had begged Edward to sleep and I scooped his small body in my arms and kissed his cheeks
"Sleep well love"
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The phoenix within me raced through the trees with pure exultation. He wanted to take to the air but I refused – there being a reason for our journey to the high mountain tops.
That still didn't stop him from lopping through the trees at sudden heights and jumping like a monkey. I laughed – feeling my body fly through the air. I could feel each individual wisp of the air – feeling its caress – its bathe of substance and a temptation of freedom.
Then my brain shifted, feeling the tension just ahead. The mood was in such a stark difference to my own I forgot the sheer darkness of the night. Forgot playing with its mystical woes and focused on Alice.
She sat on a large rock face – her head turned to the night sky - the moonlight glowing off her skin.
I looked down and noticed that my skin no longer glowed such luminescence and signed forlornly. In some sight missing the feature.
"I had a vision" Her voice drifted cold through the darkness.
She turned to face me – her face transformed into misery.
"It was about the Volturi."
My back stiffened – I knew I should have connected them to James and Victoria. Evil was evasive and took many faces.
"How long?" I asked, looking up as an owl scored the sky, its huge eyes capturing mines in its amber depts.
"Two weeks" Alice answered – her full attention on me.
And I knew – that in the end I would have to tell my family the full extent of my life. I could only hope they would not reject me after hearing such a part of myself I had kept hidden – even from my own memories.
A/N I'm back and with a huge apology – no excuse this time. I know this chapter was a bit off – still trying to get on with my writing groove (Read every chapter of Centuries meets Seconds over again and still can't connect with it). Hopefully the difference isn't too huge.
Chapter's Shout out goes to 'TeamEdward – aka- jacobhater'. Gave me the extra boost to write this chapter despite my muse problems. I promise to write a longer chapter as soon as my muse recovers.
Please Review and Comment,
Silverdust101
