Author: Okay, so I took a review tally (yes, I save all my reviews for when I need motivation) And I would like to give a special mention to FUGU-CHAN and PROMOCAT for all their reviews, interest, and (thus far) undying support. I LOVE BOTH OF YOU! I also recently got a message asking if I do requests. Yes, I always accept requests, and when they're a request they get done and put up every week. Also, still waiting for more requests for a real name. It takes more than FOUR requests, people. Hahaha! Anyway, sorry about the delay, Adam is back in school and constantly on the computer, but here's chapter nine.
Chapter Nine:
Soubi rushed to Ritsuka, hesitating in front of him for a few moments before wrapping him in an embrace. Ritsuka lifted his arms and wrapped them around Soubi's strong frame, breathing deep of the smell of fresh oil pastels and cigarettes that clings heavily to Soubi's clothes.
"Ritsuka, I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. Please, come home. Just come home." Soubi muttered into Ritsuka's shoulder. Ritsuka closed his eyes and just took strength from Soubi's presence.
"Soubi…I'm the one that should be sorry. I was so angry, and upset. I'm just…sorry." Ritsuka felt himself tearing up again and blinked them away. Soubi pulled back suddenly, a look of shock and disbelief on his face.
"What…did you just…say?" He stuttered out, disbelief not only evident in his voice, but also in his face. Ritsuka fought back a grimace.
"I said…I'm sorry…For everything." Ritsuka said, swallowing a good chunk of his pride in the process. He felt tears sting his eyes, and for the umpteenth time today wiped them away quickly. He looked at Soubi and saw tears glistening in his eyes. The tears began to fall just as Soubi started chuckling. Softly at first but then it grew, slowly, until it was full on laughter.
"What? What's so funny? Soubi! Don't laugh at me!" Ritsuka pouted. Soubi fought to control his laughter.
"I'm sorry, it's just…How did those words taste coming out?" Soubi grinned, but it was also a smile full of warmth, love. Not a love of duty, but true and honest love. Ritsuka wrapped his arms around Soubi's shoulders, nuzzling the top of his head.
"Like vinegar." He grumbled begrudgingly, but he couldn't suppress the smile slowly creeping across his face.
"Ritsuka…" Soubi said in a muffled voice. Ritsuka's stomach clenched involuntarily. The sound of his voice. It echoed uncomfortably in his ears. Soubi wrapped his arms around Ritsuka, hugging him tightly to his chest. Ritsuka never wanted this feeling to end.
" Soubi, we need to talk…" His heart dropped into his stomach when the older man tensed.
"We'll talk in the morning. I'll still be here in the morning. You need to rest." He argued. Ritsuka shook his head as vigorously as he could counting the fact that his face was buried tightly into Soubi's chest.
"No, we need to talk now otherwise I might not be able to later." Soubi paused for a moment before leading Ritsuka to the bed. He sat facing the older man trying to align the thoughts racing through his head into a manageable order.
"I need it Soubi. The cutting, it keeps me sane. I don't understand it, and I know I can't explain it. But you know I can't stand people. I'm horrible with public relations. But what hurts more than trying to deal with people is trying to deal with you. The way you treat me, it's like I'm this fragile antique teacup, and if you jostle me just the littlest bit I'll shatter into a thousand pieces. I'm broken, there's no denying that.
"But that's the thing, when something's broken you just need to rebuild it. Stronger, better. It's gonna be hard, and I'm not sure I'm at a spot where I want to stop doing it yet. But I need you to understand that it's not a cry for help, and I'm not doing it to hurt you." Ritsuka felt suddenly like a valve had opened up in his chest and he couldn't breathe. Soubi furrowed his brow, obviously chewing this over.
It seemed like an eternity before Soubi spoke.
"So what do you want from me?" Soubi looked like he was sucking on something sour.
"I…I don't know. Stop acting like I'm about to snap. Trust me to take care of myself…Last night not withstanding." Ritsuka amended. Soubi nodded once.
"It does hurt though. It hurts me when I see you in that kind of a state. I saw those, and I felt like my heart shattered. I don't know what to say Ritsuka. I just…All I know is that I need you. Here, with me. I don't want to lose you. And I am afraid of losing you to this." A heavy silence fell between them.
Soubi's phone jingled just then, and he waited until the third ring to answer. He pulled it out of his pocket and looked at the caller ID. He furrowed his brow in confusion. He stood, taking Ritsuka by surprise.
"Hello?" There was a pause as he listened to the person on the other end of the line. Turning his back to the younger man, his voice suddenly became low and aggressive.
"What? Why? That's not necessary. You left him with me, you can't just-" Soubi tensed. Ritsuka strained to hear the voice on the other end of the line, but his attempts were in vain, they were too hushed. But Ritsuka could hear the harsh tension in his lover's voice.
"Yes. We'll be here." Soubi clicked the phone shut, agitation radiating off him in waves. Soubi walked over to the nightstand and picked up his pack and a lighter, pinching the cigarette tight between his lips, letting the tongue of flame lap lightly at the tip until it took, then took a long deep drag off of it.
"Soubi, who was that?" Ritsuka stared at Soubi. His face was tight, his lips a paper thin line. Stubbing the cigarette out into the ashtray, he shoved a hand through his hair, frustrated. The younger man was beginning to get agitated.
"Soubi, tell me who that was?" Just then, they heard the front door open and shut, and heavy steps coming down the hall. A stone fell into the bottom of Ritsuka's stomach as the footsteps ended right outside the hall. The door swung open and Ritsuka let out a quiet yelp. He looked sharply to Soubi who was leaning his back into a corner, feet crossed at the ankles, hands shoved into his pockets, an impassive look on his face.
"Hello little brother. It's time to go home." There, in impossible perfection, stood Seimei.
"But, what's going on?" Ritsuka felt himself shaking from the core.
"I can't take care of you Ritsuka. Go with your brother." Soubi said low, no emotion in his voice to be heard.
"No, what about you? Aren't you coming with us?" Ritsuka didn't know what to say.
"I can't." Was all he said.
"I won't allow it Rit-chan. He let you get hurt and that is unforgivable." Seimei said in a matter-of-fact voice.
"No, it's not Soubi's fault. I want to stay with him. Please, Seimei, let me stay with him. Soubi! I want to stay with you!" Ritsuka pled with both of them.
"Go with your brother."
"Don't you want me to stay? I know you do Soubi! I saw the way you -"
` "GO WITH SEIMEI RITSUKA!" Soubi yelled harshly. Ritsuka shrank back into his brother. Without a word, Seimei draped his arm over Ritsuka's shoulder and led him out of the house.
As Soubi heard the front door close, he sank to his knees. Burying his face in his hands, he sobbed.
"Ritsuka…I'm sorry. There was nothing I could do. Ritsuka, my little Ritsuka. My little mouse. Please, forgive me." He leaned against the wall, tears streaming down his face, and stared into nothing. He didn't know how long he sat there, but it was well past sundown before he moved. Possibly before he even blinked. The last thing he saw before falling into sweet oblivion was Ritsuka's face as Seimei led the love of his life away.
END CHAPTER
Author: Awww, such a sad ending, I almost cried while writing it. Listening to Listen to Your Heart during the last scene certainly didn't help. Far too perfect a song to be coincidental.
Adam: Amazing how much drama action there is in Yaoi.
Author: Yeah, it's pretty awesome. Gotta love gay boys. And the fan girls that write about them. Anyways, SOOOOO sorry for the long overdue update, I'll try not to do it again. Anyway, CHAPTER TEN UP SOON! I'm already half-way through it!
