Chapter 9 – A Truly Scrumptious Victory

The morning for the Baron singing merrily. "Happy baresday to me, happy baresday to me! Happy baresday, dear Bombie—"

"Good morning, Your Highness," said a soldier who had just entered. "And happy birthday."

Irate at having his mood dampened by the interruption of a soldier, the Baron scowled. "What is it?"

"The motor car, Sire. I hate to inform you, but it went missing last night. We sent out a search party all through the night, but were unsuccessful."

"What?!" the Baron thundered. "Find zat car! Find zat car! I vant it, I vant it, I vant it! Whoever has stolen it will pay with his head!"

The guard led the Baron and a small court entourage down to the carriage house. But when they entered, Chitty was in the exact same place she had been when she was last parked.

Growling, the Baron fixed a menacing gaze on his cowering soldier. "Do you take me for an imbecile?! The car is right here, you idiot!" The Baron whacked him on the back of the head with the flat of his hand. "It is my baresday! And you bother me with such foolishness?!" The Baron wheeled around and stomped back into the castle, grumbling, his entourage in tow.

Meanwhile, upstairs, in a luxurious king-sized bed, surrounded my mounds of pillows and blankets, Gina was aroused from her groggy half-sleep by a warm hand gently stroking her hair. She opened her eyes to see Julian sitting beside her on the edge of the bed, smiling dreamily. He had slept the night on the chase lounge by the window and was now dressed very finely for the big day.

"Good morning," he whispered, as if raising his voice would somehow cause him to wake from this dreamlike reality.

Gina started the day with humor, however. With wild eyes, but smirking, she said softly, "He watches you while you sleep…"

Julian bobbed his head humbly. "Only a little. You've got to allow a man his indulgences."

Gina took his hand, which was on her cheek, turned aside and placed a kiss in his palm.

In a coo he often used in the field, he said, "I've got some lovely breakfast for you." He lifted his hand from her face and playfully tapped the end of her nose with his index finger.

"Mmm," Gina sat up, wearing one of Julian's long, silk night tunics.

With a twirl, Julian got up and pranced over to an ornate, wooden tray on wheels and pushed it next to the bedside. The tray was the size of a small table and its display made Gina gasp with delight. Two plates of French toast with powdered sugar, two saucers of Vulgarian sausage links, two tea cups, a bowl of sugar cubes, one pot of hot tea, and one stein of warm syrup.

Julian pulled an armless chair up to the other side of the tray and began to pour the tea for both of them.

The throne room was decorated in banners and drapes in the Bomburst purple, white, and gold. A group of musicians with orchestral instruments provided ambient waltz melodies for mingling and casual dancing as the guests awaited the scheduled activities.

Gina was certainly making heads turn. She noticed quickly that she was the most youthful face in the crowd besides to the Baroness. To be expected, since youth was so persecuted in the kingdom. By comparison, perhaps she did look like a child, she realized with a slight twinge of eeriness. Were the staring guests simply marveling at her beauty or where they watching her like a butterfly sitting unawares on a carnivorous plant? Or was it their astonishment to see a youthful beauty on the arm of none other than their one and only anti-youth enforcer?

Gina spotted the location near the stairs to the throne where she had first met the Bombursts. Just mere days ago, she had been startled by Julian's ugliness and the very idea of kissing or being held by him. Now, she couldn't bear the thought of being separated from him...and his charmingly unique face. No matter how badly the villagers hated and feared him, she would stand right by him and take their abuse, as well. It was amazing what Jesus had done to her heart in such a short time. She felt like a completely different person, and yet more herself than ever before. She was stronger and more at peace. Chains that had restrained her before had been shed. And chains that had held Julian back now seemed to have broken, as well. Jesus had worked a miracle in both their lives - through their unlikely, yet perfectly designed union. Neither of them were perfect, except for each other. And for Vulgaria.

Gina thought, Suck on that lollipop, villagers of Vulgaria.

"Ooh, Julian!" an obese woman in a low-cut gown intercepted their stroll through the room, accompanied by her equally obese husband. "My, you have done well for yourself, haven't you?"

Julian smiled. "Well, Lady Gluttonheim, it would seem that I'm adroit at catching other things."

Lady Gluttonheim put a hand to her cleavage and released a rich, coy laugh that was almost operatic.

"This is Miss Gina Bergenkraft," Julian said. "She is the toymaker's granddaughter."

"What an honor," Lord Gluttonheim said. "Your grandfather does marvelous work for His Majesty."

"Thank you. I'll be sure to pass that along. It's a pleasure to make your acquaintance, Lord and Lady Gluttonheim." Gina curtsied.

"Oh, what a charming young lady," replied Lady Gluttonheim. "You are truly lucky, Gina. Julian is such a wit. You'll never stop laughing."

Gina replied with a sly smile of humor, "Seems that laughing at Julian is a treasured pastime around here."

Lord Gluttonheim laughed. "Well, indeed."

Julian half rolled his eyes with a wan smile of good humor. "Laughter extends one's life, after all. Glad to play my part."

"And it's all free today," Gina added, nudging him playfully in the side and smiling up at him.

"I used to charge for it, you know," he teased. "Laughing at my intended humor is a flat fee of five Vulgarmarks. Laughing at me antagonistically has an additional service charge."

Nonetheless, Gina and the Gluttonheims chuckled.

Gina said, "Well, then, it looks like we're going to be broke, and that's no joke."

The Gluttenheims laughed again.

"Seems you have a little competition, Julian," Lord Gluttonheim said.

Julian shifted his gaze down to Gina with wide-eyed, comical suspicion. "So it would seem."

"So, Miss Bergenkraft," Lord Gluttonheim continued, "will we be seeing you often at the court of Bomburst?"

"Well, I do have my duties to my grandfather in the village...but, I must admit..." Gina shifted a brief "bedroom eyes" gaze up at Julian, "it's hard to stay away."

The Gluttonheims were not blind to her veiled meaning and chuckled.

"I couldn't agree more," Julian pressed her arm into his side. "Don't make things hard on the both of us."

Lord Gluttonheim then said in jest, "Well, it's a good thing there aren't any children in the village, lest we might have to accuse dear Julian of being quite distracted from his work." He winked.

Julian and Gina imitated laughter. But it was good enough for the Gluttonheims.

When the Gluttonheims had walked away, Julian asked Gina, "Shall we show them how it's done, edelweiss?"

"I'd love to," Gina smirked up at him.

The two of them joined the other couples that were waltzing. Gina knew the basics of the waltz step, but with Julian's expert leading and secure hold on her, she soon felt like one herself. He was so light on his feet that he never came close to stepping on her toes, even when she got slightly out of sync. Compared to the other couples in the room, who all seemed to be older, Julian was the best dancer among them and, as his partner, by default, Gina, as well.

Then, Baron Bomburst charged them. "Ah, Julian," he came alongside and slapped him heartily on the shoulder. "I knew you could do it, old boy! When is the wedding?"

Julian laughed nervously. "W-wedding, Your Highness? I—er—deh—eh—we—we've only just begun. It's a bit early to—"

"Nonsense! What are you waiting for? You're not getting any younger, you know. I'll make all the preparations."

"Do we have to discuss it now? It's your birthday, Highness. Today is all about you."

Baron Bomburst ignored him. "Now, the question is whether she would be another toymaker… Or another Child Catcher… Two of you. Hmm. Now, that would be fun to watch, wouldn't it?"

"Only if you upgrade me to a larger cage and bequeath the smaller one to her," Julian patronized him, veiled by his bland tone.

"And a pretty hat, like his," Gina threw in.

"Done!" the Baron said. "I will make the preparations!"

"Er—" Julian tried.

"And for your wedding." Before Julian could get in another word edgewise, the Baron shuffled away quickly.

Julian looked down at Gina sheepishly. "I apologize. My life is but a circus act to them."

"Well, he's going to be out of our hair in short order, here. I still want a hat, though."

"I'll be happy to make you one."

Several minutes later, the Baron was bored with waltzes. "I vant to open my presents!" the Baron bellowed from his table. "Bring in my presents!"

As people were taking their seats and eating the cake that had already been set there, the guards were opening the doors and Johannes was wheeling in two boxes. The enormous, upright triangular box unfolded to reveal a beautiful life-sized "doll" – known as Truly Scrumptious in disguise.

"Mmm," Gina appraised. "That is truly scrumptious."

Julian snorted a suppressed laugh.

"Dolls?" the Baron protested with a wine of anguish. "I have thousands of dolls, toymaker!"

"Oh, but, Your Highness," Johannes insisted, "this one is very, very special. You will see. Very new. Something I've never attempted before." Johannes bent down to the giant key sticking out of the front of her stand and wound it. When he released it, a beautiful, merry, tinkling melody began to play and a disc in the base began to turn Truly like a ballerina. Then, Truly started to sing, the same lovely operatic voice she and Julian had heard upon floating through the grotto tunnel last night. Gina marveled at Truly's very controlled, staccato movements, as if she was truly clockwork.

Julian pursed his lips, looking like he was controlling the outward sign of inward laughter, his eyes occasionally cutting over across the way to the Baron and back to Truly. Julian leaned over to Gina's ear and muttered, "Truly your grandfather's best work."

"Indeed," Gina agreed, complying with his humor. "Too bad it's a traveling exhibit."

When Truly's song ended, a square box on the floor collapsed, revealing Caracticus flopped on the floor in a ridiculous, red waist coat and pants, square shoes, a mop of shaggy, blonde doll hair, and clown make-up on. Julian almost lost his façade with a release of laughter, which would not have been incriminating, but there was no other sound in the room. However, he did allow himself to politely hiss his snickers into his hand. He was rewarded, however, for the laughter in the room began to rise as Caracticus got to his feet and began flailing around the dance floor.

Then, Caracticus waddled over to the giant key and started her up again. The lilting, tinkling music filled the expansive room again. But, as Truly began to sing, so did Caracticus. He was singing a different set of lyrics to the same tune. To her.

It would seem another romance is underway here, Gina mused as she soaked in the moment.

"When you're near me, it's so delicious…" Gina heard Julian's high, tenor voice beside her following along softly. When she glanced at him, he was leaning on the table with his far elbow, cheek in hand, eyes cut over at her, looking as though he could fall into a contented sleep at any moment. "Honest, truly," he continued with Caracticus' lyrics, "you're the answer to my wishes. Truly scrumptious, though I may seem presumptuous…"

"Never, never, ever go away…" Gina held his gaze and sang with him. Beneath the table, Julian took her hand. "My heart beats so unruly because I love you, truly. Honest, truly, I do." As the song ended, Julian lifted Gina's hand to his lips and kissed it.

"I think you should be peddling smoothies, not candy," Gina winked. "Because that's what you are."

In the same sleepy expression, he replied, "If that'll lure you into my carriage." He winked.

Looking equally sleepy, Gina drew in air through her teeth and then whispered, "I think I'm in trouble..."

Despite of all of Caracticus' clowning, the crowd was most amused Baron Bomburst going out onto the dance floor and trying to imitate him.

Julian dropped his forehead into his hand. "I'm staving off the urge to take over."

"So erudite about what 'real entertainment' is, babe?" said Gina. "Well, I find his buffoonery to be quite profound."

"Don't remind me."

All of a sudden, the Baron let out a holler as he was hoisted into the air by a hook attached to a rope that was being pulled through a hatch in the ceiling by children. The swinging Baron bellowed with fear, sending the room into alarm. Then, children began pouring in from every nook and cranny, turning over every dish of food and drink they could find, binding guests in ropes and shackles, and creating general chaos, allowing Caracticus, Truly, and Johannes to depart in search of Mr. Potts Sr.

Meanwhile, Julian and Gina remained in their seats, calmly eating their cake, untouched by the mayhem. The guards were now rushing in from outside. But they didn't get far because children lining the doors splashed some kind of dark, slippery substance in their path, causing them to slide and topple on each other.

Once again, Julian dropped his face into one hand with disgust.

Suddenly, a blonde six-year-old boy popped up between him and Gina. "Hi, Mr. Julian!"

Julian was taken off guard by such a merry, voluntary greeting from a fugitive child. "Er…h-hello…"

"Thank you for all the candy."

Julian's brow rose. "I…er…eh…" he glanced at Gina, who nodded at the child, "you're welcome…"

"Well, bye, now." Then, boy rushed off to join the others.

However, Jeremy and Jemima Potts soon took his place, each releasing a greeting of their own, as merrily as if it was their own birthday party. They were already speckled in dirt and food.

"Cake! Mmm!" Jemima said, looking at Gina's plate.

"Would you like some?" Gina pushed her plate towards her. Gina handed her the fork, with Julian looking on in repulsion.

"Oh, yes, thank you!" Jemima took a large amount onto the fork and stuck it in her mouth, which now had Jeremy's attention.

Julian grimaced, "Why don't you kiddiewinkies get your own cake? There's plenty of it on the floor by now."

Gina, trying not to laugh in reaction to her surprise, gaped at him with a squint. "Julian."

Julian sighed. "Alright, alright. I take it back. But, I hope you're not planning to eat off your fork again. You don't know what diseases these foreign children might be carrying, let alone that they're children in the first place."

Gina looked to be thinking. "I'll just use yours. How romantic is that?"

Julian chuckled. "You are resourceful on the fly, aren't you?"

Suddenly, the very panicked Baroness raced up to the table and slammed her hands down in front of Julian, startling Jeremy and Jemima, but not Julian, at least not that he showed. "JULIAN! Why are you still sitting there?! DO something!"

Julian simply looked at her with defiant coldness. Casually, he scooped some gooey icing onto his fork, raised it to a vertical position, and flicked the glob right onto her face.

Jeremy and Jemima laughed.

The Baroness reared back with a high-pitched, howling gasp, as if he had thrown acid on her. "Julian! How dare you? After all we've done for you! You'll be beheaded for this treachery!"

Unfazed, Julian's gaze followed the Baron making his escape. He then looked at the Baroness and said, "I think you're going to miss your ride. Claudia." Julian pointed to give her a clue.

The frazzled baroness turned around and, when she saw her husband fleeing without her, her focus was immediately diverted and she went scurrying after him.

"Uh-huh," he said, with a smile.

Then, the revving of an engine and the blare of a horn drew eyes to the entrance of the throne room, where Chitty Chitty Bang Bang burst through the doors and skidded to a 180-degree stop near the banquet tables. Jemima and Jeremy ducked under the table and ran up to Chitty. They were joined shortly by their father, grandfather, and Truly. Mr. Potts Sr. embraced his grandchildren with merry and relieved reunion greetings between them.

"Well, you two sure found a way to get filthy, didn't you?" Caracticus laughed.

"Give 'em a nice dunk in the ocean on the way back," Grandpa Potts jested. "I got one me-self on the way over."

"Where's Gina and Julian?" Caracticus looked around.

"Over there," the Potts children pointed.

"We got to eat cake, Daddy," Jemima added.

"Oh, good," he replied, waving to the couple to join them. Upon their arrival at Chitty's driver's side, Caracticus said, "Gina, Julian, we can't thank you enough. Especially you, Julian. You made some big decisions that weren't easy. You deserve admiration for that."

Julian bowed. "You're far too kind, Mr. Potts."

"What are you going to do now that you're not catching children?"

"Oh, he's not done catching children," Gina elbowed him playfully in the ribs. "Look around."

With wide eyes, Julian said, "You really expect me to clean up this mess by myself?"

"I bet you could bribe a bunch of these kids to do it for treats."

Jeremy and Jemima jumped up and down in the back seat with excitement. "Ooh-ooh! Me, too! I want some! I'll help!"

"See? You've already got two volunteers and all I had to do was suggest."

"I say, Caracticus," said Grandpa Potts, "it is quite a bit of a disaster in here. What say you to lending a hand or two?"

Caracticus looked at his son and daughter. "You kids want to stay and help?"

Jemima and Jeremy bounced again, cheering their words of affirmation.

"It's not like they'll be missing school," Truly sighed.

"Well, alright," Caracticus said. "We helped create the mess. We should help clean it up."

Julian trotted back to the Baron's table, jumped up on it like a stage, and hollered, "Chiiiildrreeen!" When he had a majority attention, he continued, "Remember that candy Gina gave you, from me?" The children cheered. "Well, there's more where that came from," he opened his arms like a performer. "All free today – IF, you will clean up this mess."

The room returned to chaos again, in a cleaning capacity.

Julian then called in his tinny, gravelly bellow, stamping his foot like a Spanish dancer, "Could we get some order in here?! Honestly!"

Shortly, the servants were handing out cleaning tools and teams were being assigned according to the tool.

Gina jumped up on the table beside him and hugged his arm. "Nice work, 'Kindergarten Cop.'"

"Oh-ho-ho, no. Certainly not. I'm going to retire. I believe my professional position is about to become obsolete, anyway."

"Oh, I don't know that it need be obsolete," she said. "Just re-purposed."

Epilogue

With Caracticus Potts at the wheel and Truly Scrumptious at his side, Chitty Chitty Bang Bang soared above the countryside of Vulgaria for a little joyride. In the backseat were Jeremy and Jemima, Gina and Julian, each enjoying an ice cream bar in between choruses of, "Bang-bang, chitty-chitty, bang-bang, our fine, four-fendered friend. Bang-bang, chitty-chitty, bang-bang, our fine, four-fendered frieeeeend…"

~ Fin ~