Paul's P.O.V
One and A Half Years Earlier
As I left the airport, I chewed on my lip nervously. I just knew something bad was going to happen, I just knew it. I pressed down on the accelerator, anxious to get home. The feeling of dread was creeping up further and further in my body and I hated it. I hated the fear and dread consuming me. I was Paul Levesque, I was strong. I rarely let myself be consumed with fear or dread. And when it did happen, something terrible would have happened.
I remember the last time I had felt like this; it was three and a half years ago, only a couple of days after my twenty-fifth birthday. I had known something bad was going to happen so I had flown back to my hometown of Nashua. Upon arrival, I had learnt that one of my close friends, Sarah Carmichael, had died. It had devastated our entire community. Sarah had left behind her three year old daughter Bethany, who was now eight years old. I hadn't seen her since the day of her Mommy's funeral.
I pulled into our driveway and got out of the car. Not bothering about my bag, I walked straight up to the door and let myself into the house.
"Tamara, where are you?" I called out. There was no reply and the house seemed eerily quiet. I started panicking and rushed to the nursery. I saw Tamara and I breathed a sigh of relief.
"Paul, what are you doing here so early?" She asked, staring at me.
"I felt as though something was wrong, so I came home. Tamara, what are you doing with a gun?" I asked, seeing her run her finger across it.
"I guess you were right Paul, something is wrong." She murmured. I frowned and looked into the cot where Alexander was sleeping peacefully.
"What do you mean Tamara?" I asked wearily.
"I know you are leaving me Paul and you think I am going to take that?" She said.
"What do you expect Tamara, we haven't been getting along, I'm not staying around for that." I said.
"Well then, you'll miss out on everything." Tamara whispered. Tamara pointed the gun into the crib and I stood there, frozen to the spot.
"Tamara, what do you think you are doing?" I asked. Tamara ignored me and I stepped forward just as her eyes closed and the gunshot filled the room. I dropped to my knees and started openly sobbing. I didn't even want to see the devastation of the crib, all I knew was that my baby boy,
"I couldn't let him live with you now could I Paul? You were the one that led me to this! This is your fault!" Tamara said. I placed my hands over my face and didn't even dare to look up.
"See, you have wrecked your entire life now Paul," I heard Tamara say before the gunshot rang through the room a second time. I didn't want to look up, I knew what had happened and knew that in a matter of a minute my whole life had come crashing down.
One Week Later...
"Ladies and gentleman, we are here today to mourn the loss of Alexander Benjamin Levesque, a soul taken away far too soon." The Preacher said. I gulped and looked up at the tiny coffin that was situated behind him. In that coffin was my baby son, who would have been a month old today. I looked down at the tiny bracelet I was playing with in my fingers and felt a pang in my chest when it flipped over and I saw his name engraved into it. I looked up again and saw a lot of people eying me. I wasn't going to cry, I was going to be strong, no matter how hard this was.
"Paul, would you like to say something?" The Preacher asked. I looked up and tried to decide. Then I nodded my head and stood up. I walked over to the microphone and sighed.
"I would like to thank you all for coming out today. As you all know, Alexander meant a whole lot to me, he was my son and I loved him with all my heart as did everyone sitting here today. Alexander was destined to be a champion, I could feel it but he never got that chance. It's a hard thing for me to deal with but I know Alexander is sitting up there, in God's arms, watching over his Daddy, ready to boss my life around still." I said. I saw the sad smile on my Mom's face and I took a deep breath.
"What happened to Alex was a tragedy but I don't want to remember his life like that. He was here for only three short weeks but he was wrapped around everyone's fingers. Let's just say he had a certain charm just like his Daddy. I want to remember the joy he brought into everyone's lives, not what happened to him. Thanks guys," I said. Everyone was clapping and I went back and sat down. I zoned out for the rest of the funeral, not listening to what everyone else had to say. I started at my son's coffin, telling myself that it was just his body in there. I could have sworn I felt a small hand touch my cheek and as I reached up to touch it, I knew I had imagined it.
"Who is going with you to the burial?" Mom asked after the funeral service was over.
"No-one is Mom. I'm doing this part on my own." I said. Mom nodded and pulled me into a hug.
"Can you just... wait in the car and I will get a lift back with you?" I asked. She nodded her head again and I slipped away from everyone else.
After Alexander's coffin was buried, I was given some time alone.
"Hey little man, today's been really rough on your Daddy." I whispered. I looked up at the headstone and ran my hand over it.
Alexander Benjamin Levesque
October 25, 2008- November 15th, 2008
Daddy's Little Champion
Forever in our hearts little buddy
"I'm not gonna let this hold me back you know little man, you're just gonna make me stronger. I want to make you proud of your old man. I'm gonna always miss you and wish you were here but I know you're in a better place and when we get to meet again, it will be amazing. Maybe one day, you'll get some brothers and sisters. I could meet a beautiful woman and we could become a family. You're included in that buddy; you'll always be a part of my family." I said. I felt the little hand touch my face again and I smiled.
"I know that's you buddy, thank you." I murmured. Then I stood up and sighed.
"I probably won't come here a lot buddy and I'm going to apologise to you for that. However, I don't think that coming to your grave will make me remember you more. You'll always be in my heart Alexander." I said. I stood up and stared down at it for a moment and then I walked back to Mom's car.
"Are you ready honey?" She asked me. I nodded and pressed my lips together. I gripped the tiny silver bracelet tighter and as she drove away, I knew that this would be a new beginning. Alexander was up there watching me and he was going to help me make my life right, I just knew it.
