Where I Wished Not To Go

Chapter IX: What We Do

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
the falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the center cannot hold.

-William Butler Yeats

Young opened his eyes, no the scientists eyes, on Earth. He would never get used to the feeling of being inside someone else's body. Everything from the size and shape of the teeth to the skin itself was alien. The feeling of moles on your back or scars that wasn't yours was equally weird.

Young had arranged to switch with a scientist who needed to visit Destiny. He had spoken to Camile directly after leaving the infirmary the day before. After having walked halfway to the stones room he decided it would probably be better to have a legitimate reason for going back to Earth. Officially he was going to Homeworld Command to leave a report that Scott would otherwise have given. It took him a while and many half-truths to convince Camile to let him take Scott's place. He had wanted to avoid going over her head since they had a workable relationship and he didn't want to jeopardise it. She'd had a lot of questions concerning his dire need to get back to Earth and he had answered them as vaguely as he could.

He rose from the chair and gave his name to a nervous looking airman who nodded and led him to the debriefing room were several IOA and Air Force personnel were waiting. When he walked in he spotted Telford sitting near the end of the long table reading something on a tablet and didn't look up when Young entered.

The meeting dragged on for over an hour and mostly consisted of name calling and awkward silences. Young was on his third cup of coffee, and even Woolsey was beginning to look like he was giving up on life, when the meeting finally ended.

Young followed Telford out the door and into a small kitchen where the latter started going through the cupboards.

"You just gonna stand there or are you gonna help me?" Telford called over his shoulder to where Young stood leaning against the doorway.

"That depends on what are you looking for?" Young had to fight the growing unease inside of him as he studied Telford. He shouldn't get ahead of himself; he had no proof, only a hunch. After all Rush hadn't confirmed anything. Nor had he denied it, Young reminded himself.

"Cheese grater." Telford answered after a pause.

"Can't help you there." Young tried to smile but it came out crooked and false. Telford didn't notice anyway with his head hidden behind a cupboard door.

"Then what good are you?" He could hear Telford smile and Young shrugged to himself.

"I'm great with can openers."

Telford chuckled and ducked his head out of the cupboard. "Seriously, you okay Everett?"

"I'm fine." Young was slightly taken aback by the question. Telford was eying him suspiciously until he broke into another laugh and continued to scavenge through the kitchen in the hunt for the illusive grater.

"It's just…" Young regarded him for a moment before continuing airily, "Rush is being a real pain in the ass and I'm not looking forward to having to deal with him."

"Yeah, that he is." Telford chuckled. "I wish someone would take that guy down a peg or two. But he seems to be immune to both common sense and good ol' military discipline."

"You had a lot of run in's with him on Icarus?" Young narrowed his eyes when Telford stiffened momentarily. "I heard he stabbed you with a pen."

Telford turned around and smirked at him. "Nr 2 pencil, actually. He's a scrappy little bastard, I tell you. Has he been talking about me?"

Young tried to discern if there was any worry in his voice but found only amusement. He was beginning to believe he'd been wrong in his assessment until Telford crossed his arms. There on his left hand, stark in contrast against his skin, was a clear scar unmistakably made by teeth. Young felt dizzy. He should have been wrong. Why hadn't he been wrong?

"Everett?" Telford was talking to him and Young realised he must have been staring at him for quite a while. He pulled himself up and rearranged his face into impassive and asked, "What happened to your hand, David?"

Telford stiffened and looked down on his left hand. "Dog." It took him just a little bit too long to answer.

"That's the best you can come up with?" Young was almost shaking with anger and disappointment at his so called friend.

"What are you talking about, Everett?"

"Cut the crap, David!" Young took a few steps forward and pointed at Telford, wishing he had Rush's deadly glare. "Tell me what the hell happened to your hand! Tell me what you did!"

"I see you have been talking to Rush." Telford snarled and pushed away from the counted he'd been leaning on. "What story's he been feeding you that you're stupid enough to believe?"

"Why don't you tell me? I'm sure your side of it will come off very differently."

"So you believe his lies over me!"

"Well, you haven't said anything yet to believe!" Young yelled. "Why don't you start with telling me whatever story it is that you think he's been lying to me about?"

Telford ducked his head and chuckled. "We had sex. That's all there is to it."

Young started at the bluntness of his words. "That's all, is it?"

"He freaked out in the middle of it so I had to persuade him a bit." Telford sounded cold and remorseless. "Sure, I could have gone easier on him but he didn't really put up a fight."

Young chuckled mirthlessly. He ducked his head and rubbed his chin before fixing his eyes on Telford. He couldn't believe what he was hearing, or how callously it was being told to him. The previous nausea had turned into flaming anger and he couldn't contain it any longer. He gathered all the strength he had and swinged at Telford. Young's fist impacted with Telford's jaw and sent him to the floor.

"DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT YOU FUCKING DID?!" Young roared.

He turned around sharply, afraid he would kill the man if he stayed. His hand felt broken and he would have to remember to apologize to the man whose body he was wearing the next chance he got. But right now all he wanted was to get back to Destiny and just indulge in the need to shield Rush from everything scary and hurtful in the world. He knew Rush would never let him and that he was probably losing his mind, but he didn't care. He just didn't want to leave Rush alone for a second longer then he had to.

He rushed into the stones room without acknowledging the confused look on the airman's face. The moment he sat down he closed his eyes and pulled the stone.

xzxxzxxzx

Rush looked up from his notebook when he heard the doors open. Young barged in with a hectic expression on his face and almost threw himself down on the edge of his bed. Rush frowned and put the book down. Young looked exhausted and on edge.

"What the hell happened to you?"

There seemed to be a poorly concealed internal battle going on inside Young before he answered. "I just spoke to David…and he told me what he did."

Rush turned away, suddenly feeling very hot. His face contorted in concentration and dug his nails into his palms. He would not give anything away, he would not. I will not break. Tears were welling up into his eyes and he ducked his head, hoping his hair would hide his treacherous tears. He could not deal with this right now. Young knowing everything somehow made it so much more real and even more painful.

He felt a hand on his and pulled it away with a hiss. The hand did however not relent but held on to him. Rush looked up through his hair and saw Young looking down on him. Young's eyes were kind and worried but showed no pity. He felt another hand curl around his chin and he was once again grateful for his long hair obscuring his face as more tears fell. He let Young pull him into a hug and rested his head on his shoulder.

Rush soon began to feel smothered and pulled out of the embrace. He wiped his tears away angrily and wrapped his arms tight around himself, ignoring the pain shooting through his arm. Young reached out a hand and rested it where his neck and shoulder met, absently rolling a strand of Rush's hair between his fingers. Rush let him, but only because he was too drained to stop him he told himself. In reality he took comfort in the innocent nature of the touch.

"I'm here, Nick." Young said his voice muted and soft. "If you ever want to talk more about what happened or if you just don't want to be alone. I'm not going anywhere." He looked around the room and smiled. "Hell, there is no other place I can go."

"Nice to know." Rush muttered exhaustedly from behind his hair.

"I mean it. And can you please come out from behind there?"

Rush chuckled and shook his hair out of his face. "Happy?"

"Ecstatic." Young said flatly but then smiled at him. "It's nice to see your face again."

"Right…" Rush huffed and flexed his hands uncomfortably. "So, are you gonna tell me what Telford said or am I gonna have to beat it out of you?"

Young looked uncomfortable. "You don't want to know what he said."

"Don't tell me what I do and do not want, Everett."

Young sighed and glanced at Rush who looked somewhere between determined and terrified.

"He basically said it was your own fault." Rush turned his face away sharply and Young sneaked his hand around his neck. "I know it wasn't, Nick. He was just trying to piss me off."

"Did it work?" Rush's voice barely carried the short distance between them.

"It did." Rush glanced at him. "I knocked him out cold; at least I think I did. I had to leave to stop myself from murdering him."

"My hero." Rush snorted while shaking his head incredulously. "Who'd ever have thought we would end up here, eh?"

"Life leads us down strange paths and all you can do is follow."

"How very profound of you." Rush couldn't help himself.

"Don't take the piss. I'm being serious." Young said in mock offence and Rush glared at him before breaking up in laughter and Young soon joined him.

While they laughed it felt like the all their problems melted away and the world became brighter. When they finally had to stop to breathe Rush looked up at him and grinned. The smile subsided and was replaced by a thoughtful expression. He slowly leaned forward and captured Young's lips with his own. Young curled his hands into Rush's hair and relished in the sensation of his soft lips. The kiss was slow and exploring. Young ran his tongue over Rush's uneven teeth and explored the warmth of his mouth. Rush smiled into the kiss and deepened it, their tongues dancing against each other. Eventually they had to come up for air and Rush rested his forehead against Young's. Rush could see TJ quickly looking back down at her paperwork in the corner of his eye, but he didn't care. He felt Young's hands combing through his hair and closed his eyes.

"You know, this is the first time we kissed without me feeling miserable." Rush muttered, opening his eyes.

"That's nice…" Young wasn't sure how he was expected to respond to that comment and Rush sighed. "That it is." He pulled away slightly to look into Young's face.

"I don't love you, Young. I never will." Rush said but was no longer sure if he completely meant it.

"I take what I can get." Young sighed. He didn't look sad or disappointed but a bit hopeful. Maybe he also doubted the truth in Rush's words.

"Ain't that the truth." Rush glanced at Young and decided to at least tell one truth. "But I do need you. I guess you already know that?"

"In the end we always need someone. And if it's any consolation I need you as well."

"For what, though?" Rush smirked.

"I need someone to glare at me and tell me I'm an idiot. If I don't have that I just fall apart."

Rush snorted a punched him lightly on the arm and Young chuckled. He hadn't been this comfortable around anyone for a long time, and that he should be so with Rush surprised him to no end. Young heard a noise to his left and saw TJ picking up a folder that had fallen to the floor. He had completely forgotten she was there. He turned back to Rush who was apparently experiencing something similar judging by the surprised and slightly scowling look on his face.

"So how long is TJ gonna keep you in here?"

"Only until I break out or the next time something explodes. We'll see which comes first. Eli apparently has a bet going on with Brody according to Chloe."

"Which do you think?" Young grinned.

"It's about fifty-fifty right now I think. This seems to be a rather quiet bit of space we're in right now."

"Hey, don't jinx it!"

"I'm afraid I rather don't believe in that."

"Me neither, but you can never be too careful."

"You know Telford's not gonna let this go just like that."

"What?" Young said, completely thrown by the turn the conversation had taken.

"You said you punched him." Rush clarified with a hint of annoyance. "Public humiliation is not something he looks kindly on."

"I can deal with whatever Telford throws at me; you don't have to worry about that."

"I don't need you to protect me from him, Colonel." Rush snarled, though there wasn't much poison in his voice and he didn't shrug Young's hand off.

"Everett, not Colonel." Rush glared at him and Young continued. "And I know that you can take care of yourself in every regard except for sleeping, eating and tending to wounds."

"So, we're back to that now are we…Everett?" Rush growled while pulling Young's hand out of his hair.

"My point is that I know I don't need to protect you, but that I want to. I never want him to come anywhere near you again."

"Well, we're on the other side of the universe so that shouldn't be too hard."

Rush sighed and decided to put the conversation on hold for now. He wasn't entirely comfortable with the fair-maiden-in-need-of-rescue role that Young had assigned to him, but it still felt good to know that somebody had his back. Though it still felt a bit strange that the somebody was Young, who had once left him to die on a desert planet what felt like only a short time ago. He still wasn't entirely sure what was going on between them, all he knew was that he wanted more of it. And that terrified him.

To be continued: