This was a pain in the ass, even though it was fun. I'm just going to say right now that I've never known a guy who had to struggle with coming out of the closet when he was in a relationship with a girl, but I think it's safe to say Stan's reactions in this are fairly close to the mark. Maybe I'm wrong; I hope I'm not. The real struggle with writing fanfiction, or even stories in general, is that it takes personal experience with all sorts of people in order to make a story realistic, and I just haven't had as much experience as I could have had. Please send me a review if you've ever known someone struggling with the same sort of thing as Stan has, so that I know if it's anywhere close.
(To be honest, I'm also writing a story with my own original characters that deals with this same sort of thing and so it'd really help me out here. My best friend knows guys that have the same things going on in this, so I've asked her and she said it was okay, but it takes all sorts of people with different view points on the matter. Of course, it makes a big difference where you live, and since everything's really laid-back where I live, the same thing doesn't really happen as it would in other places. Although the emotion is still the same, of course.)
Ugh. The fight was also a bitch. It feels longer than a normal fight would be. Of course, since this is South park, I wouldn't be surprised if no one did anything about it for, like, an hour or so.
By the way, the song this chapter is named after is "Kick in the Eye", by Bauhaus. (Huzzah!)
Anyways, enjoy.
"Kick in the Eye"
Chapter Nine
Stan swallowed a lump in his throat and approached Henrietta before school. He'd decided to walk to school, alone, and he knew Henrietta always arrived super early, just to smoke out back. Though she no longer hung out with the other Goth kids, she refused to stop rebelling against the establishment.
She glanced up at him with interest, smiled and patted the spot next to her. He sat down and threw his back pack next to him, hung his head in his hands, which were propped up on his knees. She patted his back and took a drag from her cigarette. "Stan, is everything okay? Usually I'm the one asking you for support…"
Stan glanced at her, then leaned in close, glancing around to make sure the other Goth kids weren't around. Knowing them, they were probably following Henrietta everywhere just to keep an eye on her. Henrietta laughed and waved her hand at the corner of the building, practically reading his mind by the expression on his face. "Don't worry, Stan. Thorne and Peter are total night owls, and they usually get to school thirty minutes late. Go ahead and say it."
He gulped and went ahead with it. "I think I'm in love with Kyle."
The cigarette fell from her glossed lips, and she stared at him, completely thunderstruck. "A-Are you sure?? If word gets out– Shit, if my friends find out, they'll spread shit around school and completely ruin you! You better be sure about this!"
Stan moaned, putting his face in his hands and wiping at his cheeks. "Maybe; I don't know! I did realize that the only reason why I like Wendy is the fact that I've liked her or so long! Our relationship isn't healthy; everyone sees it but me! Kyle was saying he thought he was asexual so I kissed him twice so he could imagine me as a guy or a girl and figure out, so I imagined him as himself and as Wendy to kill two birds with one stone! I completely made out with him when I realized he was the one that turned me on and not Wendy! This fucking sucks, dude! God, what am I supposed to do!?"
Henrietta patted him, gave him a quick hug and rubbed his back a little. "Oh, Stan, don't worry. Just…Just calm down and think about it logically. You've always said you've wanted to marry Wendy, so what makes you change your mind now? Are you sure it's not just hormones or something??"
Stan shook his head, wiping a tear from his eye. "I…I don't know! I'm so confused! It's weird, because I never actually kissed Wendy, and she was always the one to initiate anything! I'm starting to think I've been like this for a while and just never realized it!"
Henrietta grabbed him by the shoulders and pushed him away, causing him to look her in the eye. She nodded her head, sighed. "It's okay, Stan. That sounds like it might be the case…but you shouldn't do anything stupid right away… If you do something stupid, my friends will think something's weird and try to find out what you're hiding. Okay? You have to keep a stiff upper lip and keep your head together, alright?"
Stan sniffled and Henrietta wiped a tear away from his eyes, giving a pout that matched his. He nodded his head slowly and then wiped a few more tears away that she didn't get. "O…Okay. I…I just feel bad about…Wendy… Wh-What should I do? It's agonizing, thinking about staying in a relationship with her when I don't feel anything other than friendship for her …"
Henrietta frowned and patted him on the shoulder. "Stan, I think you should break up with her if it's making you feel bad. After all, she'd break up with you when she felt like she cared more about someone else, so it's only fair you should be able to do the same. Just tell her you care about someone else, alright? You don't have to tell her who, since she'll probably assume it's a girl to begin with."
He wiped at his eyes again, earning another hug from Henrietta, and nodded his head. "O-Okay… I can do that… I can…but I don't think I can do it alone…"
Henrietta thought about it for a while, then nodded her head. "I'll be right beside you, okay? You've been helping me so much, so I need to be there for you this time. Okay? I'll be right there at the sidelines, cheering you on!" He nodded gratefully and gave her a hug, finding a little bit of confidence to go through with it.
As he walked off, Henrietta watched him go. She'd have to mentally prepare herself, since she had a feeling the first one Wendy would blame would be her. And if that happened, she'd have to act the part, just to keep anyone from thinking otherwise. Aside from her, there were few others Stan ever hung out with, and those were all guys. If she wanted to help Stan keep his orientation a secret, she'd have to play into the part of the girl he was crushing on.
––––––––––
It happened at lunch.
Stan pulled Wendy off to the side and leaned into her, glancing at Henrietta across the lunchroom. She gave him the thumbs-up and he smiled a little, turning back to Wendy. His smile turned into a frown as he looked at the puzzled look in her eyes.
"W-Wendy…I…" She gave him a queer look, and he blurted it out. "I'm in love with somebody else."
For a moment she just stood there with her mouth hanging open, then she threw his hands out of hers, took a wide step back. "What." It was a statement, and an angry statement at that. He bit his lip and glanced over at Henrietta for support, and Wendy's eyes followed his; she swore and stiffened.
"So…it's the Goth girl… I should have seen it. How she stopped hanging out with her friends and started sitting with you. How long have you two been together?"
He looked up at Wendy, pursed his lips together, searching for an answer. The way she acted, it sounded like she had expected them to be together. Did that mean that all those previous break-ups, before she would break up with him she would already be in a relationship with someone else? He felt an aching in his heart, one that he couldn't quite place. It was hurt on her behalf; it was hurt on behalf of him. He had been completely blind. That's what Kyle had said when he called her a bitch.
She stomped her foot on the ground and pushed him into the wall, glaring. "Answer me, Stan!"
Stan's eyes shot to her and he felt himself go numb. He couldn't speak; he couldn't think of anything! Shit, she was going to figure out everything! About Kyle, about his orientation; and Kyle would be completely disgusted by him!
She laughed bitterly, slapping him in the face, and stormed off, over towards Henrietta. "Maybe the whore will tell me!!" At the slap, the entire cafeteria went silent, suddenly becoming aware that Stan had gotten slapped. By Wendy. This development was incredible; those two were always breaking up, but Wendy never slapped him. Stan never broke up with her.
Kyle glanced from Wendy, to Stan, then finally to Henrietta. He stood up, suddenly fearing of getting in the middle of a cat fight. This triggered a crowd-in, and everyone turned their heads to Henrietta; all the boys crowded around, making meowing noises and cat calls.
Wendy walked over to the table Henrietta was at, her slip-on heels clicking against the tiles on the cafeteria floor. After she got into the circle of boys, it closed up around her. She slipped her heels off and a collective "Ohhh!" ran through the crowd.
Bebe pushed her way through and stood behind her friend. "Wendy! You want me to kick her ass??" Wendy shook her head and glared at her friend.
"No, this fight is going to be one on one, Bebe. Don't get involved, no matter what happens. Besides…" She turned back to Henrietta and grinned. "I doubt she's athletic enough to even try to fight me. This'll be over quickly. All I have to do is call her a fat pig and it will all be over with."
Henrietta closed her eyes and sighed, standing up. Cartman dropped his food and gasped. "Ah, dude. This is kickass… Awesome…"
Wendy shrugged her shoulder at the ex-Goth chick and pursed her lips. "I knew you'd be trouble the moment Stan met you. How long have you been together with him?"
Henrietta simply shrugged and stepped away from the table, effectively moving the circle away, some kids even stood onto the tables, and it was a wonder Officer Barbrady or any of the teachers had started coming to see what was up. She glanced at Wendy, gave her a snarky smirk. "Shut the hell up, sweetie. I'll hang out with whoever I please. Besides, he wound up meeting me after you had to be a skank and break up with him for Token in elementary…" Her face changed, and she suddenly became angry that Stan had even been attracted to someone who was just using him for pity. It was more irritating than Nicholas's holier-than-thou mentality. "He deserves better than a bitch like you who breaks his heart and then comes running back because no one will date you for longer than a week!"
Wendy opened her mouth, then let out a scream and pounced. She knocked Henrietta to the ground and desperately tried to look for something to grab hold of; Henrietta's hair was too short, and the earrings she usually wore weren't in, as if she'd expected the fight in the first place. She screamed and smacked Henrietta in the face.
Henrietta pushed her off of her and grabbed her by her long hair. Wendy screamed, and Henrietta yanked on it, hard. "Are you surprised!? Unlike you, I know that just removing high heels doesn't work for a fight!" She yanked on Wendy's hair again, causing tears to well up in the other dark-haired girl's eyes. "This is what you get for having long hair! Maybe if you looked more like me he'd like you! Should I cut it all off, huh!?"
She had prepared herself for acting the part, and she knew that using what Wendy believed against her would keep any rumors of Stan being gay from popping up, even if Wendy began telling her friends how he never touched her.
––––––––––
On the other side of the lunch room, Peter looked up from his food and stood, suddenly aware there was a crowd forming. "Shit, Thorne. Did you hear that?? That was Henrietta!" He dashed off towards the crowd, eager to defend her even if she had been acting like a bitch to them.
Thorne stood up, straining his ears over the shouts and hollering, too. After a moment, he heard Henrietta say something about surprises, and muttered a swear, dashing off after Peter. He pushed his way through the crowd, finding Henrietta holding Wendy by her long black hair. He arrived just in time to hear her ask the bitch if she should cut all of her hair off.
He whipped out his pocket knife and stumbled into the clearing, waving it around to keep the others away from him. Peter soon joined his side, using their shying away from the knife to get through. Thorne grinned widely, letting out a yell into the fray. "Hey, Henrietta, I have a knife if you want to use it to cut her hair off! Show that preppy bitch a thing or two!!"
Henrietta jerked her head over, noticed him and screamed. "You idiot! Get out of here! I can handle–"
Wendy whipped her arms into Henrietta's face, causing her to let go and stop yelling. She pushed into her, slapping her in the face again. She turned to Thorne, noticed the knife, then swallowed all fear and glared at Henrietta. "Oh, I see how it is! Is this how you freaks fight!? Do you fight dirty!? I can fight dirty, too, you know!"
She looked over at Bebe quickly and nodded; Bebe stepped forward, away from the crowd. She ran over to where Wendy and Henrietta were wrestling on the ground. She, having been a tomboy and was wearing sneakers in the first, didn't need to prepare herself at all and kicked Henrietta in the face.
"How do you like that, you whore!?"
Much to her surprise, the littlest Goth tackled her to the ground, eyes livid with protective rage. "Leave Henrietta alone, you ugly blonde bimbo!"
Thorne stood there in the middle, watching them, waiting for Henrietta to tell him he could use his knife; he may have been reckless and vindictive, but he wasn't stupid. Bebe kicked Peter off of her easily, because he was so much younger than her–by four years, in fact–and Henrietta managed to shove Wendy off of her. Bebe stood up and kicked Peter against the ground, shouting at him for calling her ugly.
Henrietta saw the attack on the baby of her previous group of friends and knocked Bebe to the ground, blind with rage by now. "Don't you fucking touch him, bitch! You fucking hurt him and I'll kill you, I swear!" She thrashed Bebe around a few times, and Wendy grabbed her head from behind.
Taking this as a sign to get his ass moving, Thorne grabbed Wendy by the hair, pulled her over toward him. She thrashed and screamed in pain, but he ignored it. He wrapped her hair around his hand, getting her face closer, more controlled. He showed her the knife, and all sense of confidence left her.
"Wh-What the fuck do you think you're doing!? You'll be sent to jail, you fucking idiot!!"
Thorne glared and took a swipe, causing her to scream. She fell to the ground, and he threw her now-chopped off hair onto her, untangling it from his hands. She screamed, not yet realizing that he hadn't drawn blood.
Henrietta stood up from a now-bloody Bebe and stumbled into Thorne, suddenly weak from the injuries she'd sustained. It was safe to say the fight was over, but that wasn't the problem. She noticed the hair on the ground and swore, pushing herself away from Thorne. "You idiot! Get the fuck out of here, you two!!"
Peter stood up and limped over to her, frowned. A few teachers began pushing their way through the crowd and Henrietta slapped the two boys that had been in her group of friends at one point. "I didn't need your help! Get the fuck out of here! Stop associating with me!!"
Peter began to cry. "B-But we still care about you, Henrietta!!" Thorne nodded, having been looking to the side. He rubbed his cheek, where she'd slapped him.
Henrietta was grabbed from behind by a teacher and she spat at them. "You just don't get it, do you!?"
Wendy stood up and pushed at Thorne, effectively getting a cut across the cheek from his pocket knife. "You fucking losers! Maybe she stopped hanging out with you because you're all a bunch of mopey fuckheads! Go back to hell where you belong!!"
Thorne glared and grabbed her, but a teacher grabbed him from behind. Tears welled up in his eyes. "It's Stan's fault! It is! It's not us! She cares about us! It's all you and your boyfriend's fault!!"
He struggled, but Henrietta gave herself up to the teachers, having fulfilled her goal, and glared at Thorne. Even though she'd fulfilled making Stan look straight, she had still failed at getting Thorne and Peter to see the light of reason. Anger welled up in her and she screamed at him, screamed at his blindness and darkness and at how much she till wanted him and Peter to stay with her. "Yes, it is your fault! Nicky and you and Peter are sacks of shit now! I can't bear it anymore!! Get a fucking clue! I hate being with you! You make me sick!"
The teachers began dragging all of the people involved to the office, and as Henrietta passed by Stan she gave him a hurt smile. Stan stared at her, bit his lip and glanced at the Goth kids. Thorne and Peter glared at him, and Thorne struggled to go beat him up, but he was soon stopped.
The crowd dispersed, and some of the guys went over to Stan. Clyde whistled. "Damn, Stan! You actually got a bunch of bitches to fight over you! Nice!"
Craig threw his fist up in the air and laughed. "Yeah, those stupid Goth kids were fucking pissed at you, man! I've never seen Wendy look so fucking sexy! And that Henrietta chick?? You sure know who to go after; she fucking kicked Bebe's ass!"
Stan bit his lip and could find nothing good with the situation at all. The way Henrietta had yelled at her friends, it made it seem more like she wanted nothing more to do with them than for them to stop hanging out with Nicholas and his bad influence. Everything was going to hell; nothing was good; it was enough to make him feel depressed all over again.
Tears welled up in his eyes and Kyle shoved some of the guys away from Stan, yelled at Cartman to get his fat ass away, to get the other guys away. For once, Cartman seemed to show some obedience and got them all to disperse; however, he seemed more upset by the fact that Wendy had completely lost, not by the fact that Stan was suffering from all the attention.
–––––––––––
Kyle dragged Stan away from the cafeteria, carrying both of their backpacks at the same time. He dragged his friend out to the back of the school, where Stan had made his confession to Henrietta just hours earlier.
Stan sank to the ground, burst into tears. Everything was so goddamn hopeless; how was he supposed to fix this!?
Kyle sat down and wrapped an arm around his shoulders. "Dude…just let it all out, dude. It wasn't your fault. Wendy was a total bitch to you; you had every right to break up with her. It's okay, Stan."
Stan moaned, sobbing and crying. He turned into Kyle's chest and sobbed like a baby, not even caring how gay he looked right now. "I know, K-Kyle…but Henrietta and the Goth kids… They think she hates them now… They don't see what she's trying to make them see at all… It's all my fault… I made Henrietta do this, dude… Me…"
Kyle frowned and patted Stan on the back, turned red, trying to find something to say to that. "You didn't make Henrietta do anything, dude. She fought back on her own. You didn't ask her to prove herself to you. It's okay, Stan…"
Stan sniffled, but didn't feel any better. How was he supposed to tell Kyle he didn't feel about Henrietta that way? That Henrietta felt nothing but friendship for him, too? That Henrietta was trying to play into the good two-timing girlfriend act and prove to the school that Stan was straight? That she was doing it so no one would find out he had feelings for his best friend?? He couldn't say anything like that to Kyle. He couldn't say anything at all.
All he could do at the moment was cry, and that's exactly what he did.
You'll have to bear with me in the next chapter. The next chapter deals more with the Goth kids, and Nicholas especially, but since every branching-off plot contributes to the fic as a whole, it's absolutely necessary for the story.
