Chapter 9
Mine Again
There's a place I use to go
There's a world I use to know
"What the hell Lucas!" Rachel yelled as she barged into her best friend's bedroom. She couldn't believe that he had told Brooke about her crying those nights she stayed over at his house. Rachel wished he could've just confronted her about it and not have told Brooke. She was his best friend she didn't know why he did it.
Lucas looked up from his computer and saw a very pissed off red head standing by the doorway. He gave her a weak smile. "Rachel I was -"
"How could you do that to me?" She questioned him not breaking eye contact. "Why didn't you talk to me about it? Damn it Lucas! I'm suppose to be your best friend right and all of sudden you're getting closer to Brooke. What's that about?"
"I was trying to help." he said as his head hung down staring at the floor.
"Help? Luke, what in the hell are you talking about? You know how I feel about Brooke now okay so don't try and become Mr. Cupid and mend this relationship that should have never happened."
"How can you say that?" he said looking at her in disbelief. "You honestly think you and Brooke should have never happened. Brooke made a huge mistake that she regrets it. She still loves you, Rach. And I know you still love her too so can't you just forgive her."
"No, Lucas, I can't."
"And what the hell you and Peyton? I thought you two were just friends."
Rachel finally looked away from him. "I like Peyton. I do. She's really good for me."
"You're not over Brooke, though. I don't think that's fair to Peyton."
"I am over Brooke. You don't know what you're talking about. I've been spending so much time with Peyton and we click more than I ever did with Brooke. We have more in common and she'll treat me better."
"Just because you have more in common doesn't mean shit, Rachel." he scoffed "Peyton will never get you like Brooke does."
Rachel shook her head. "You know nothing about my relationship with Brooke. You were an outsider okay. You were not there every time she-" Rachel was about to say about how Brooke hit her but she stopped herself. She didn't want to turn one argument into an even bigger argument. "You just weren't there Lucas. You don't know everything."
Lucas had a confused expression. "What are you talking about? I might have not been part of you're relationship but I sure as hell can tell, as an outsider, how much you two love each other. The way you acted around each other and the looks you gave each other when one of you wasn't looking. It was love. It is love."
"Why do you even talk to Brooke? You weren't friends while I was with her why now? You never told me you talked to her still. Not something you should keep from me don't you think" Rachel crossed her arms.
"I just feel bad for her okay. She really is hurting and you just don't seem to care anymore. I know you and I know that you're hiding you're feelings and it's not healthy just so you know."
Rachel ran her hand through her hair. It was getting really difficult talking to Lucas at that moment. "Lucas, will you just stop it. Brooke and I are over. Can you understand that? I love you for trying to help and all but just don't and mind your own business. I can handle my own relationships perfectly fine." She saw a look of hurt appear on Lucas' face. She didn't mean for it to come out so harsh.
Lucas slammed his laptop and got up from his chair. "If that's what you want fine." he said in a serious tone. "But you know deep down in you're heart who you belong with." He said and Rachel didn't say a word. She watched as he turned away from her and started walking to his drawer. He looked back at where she was standing. "You can go now." he sad and looked away from her.
She walked out of his room and hated it because they were no on the best terms now. Her and Lucas rarely had a fight and if they did they'd make up minutes later. This time it was different though. It dealt more with their feelings and it dealt with relationships and that was always messy. Rachel went to the only place she could at that moment.
"Hey sexy miss me much?" Rachel said with a smile on her face as she walked into the blonde's bedroom. Peyton smiled back. "What am I saying of course you missed me" Rachel said winking at her.
"Hey" Peyton said in a soft tone. "How did everything go?"
Rachel sighed and sat next to Peyton on her bed. "Not so great. Brooke was so furious with me and then I had a fight with Lucas. This night just really turned out bad."
"I'm sorry Rachel." she said placing her hand on top of Rachel's causing Rachel to look at her.
"Except for what happened with you of course. That was great." Rachel told her and a grin crept onto Peyton's face.
"Yeah that was pretty great wasn't it." their was a short moment of silence "So what does that mean for us now? I know you sort of just broke up with Brooke. I mean do you still have feelings for her?"
"It's been like a month, Peyton. I've spent all my time with you and I slowly started feeling less for Brooke, okay." she lied "And I just want you now. I do. When you kissed me tonight it felt all kinds of good. You got me so hot and bothered" Rachel laughed.
"Okay you are so turning me on right now." Peyton replied as she pointed at Rachel.
"That's what I was hoping for." she said with a smirk. "How about you make me feel that way again?"
"I think that's a good idea" she whispered huskily and began to lean towards Rachel.
Peyton placed her lips on Rachel and they kissed slowly. Rachel parted her lips and welcomed Peyton's tongue. Rachel got in a more comfortable position on the bed and Peyton straddled her. Their hands roamed each others bodies. Rachel bit Peyton's lip lightly and Peyton let out a small moan. Rachel smiled. Peyton started to kiss down to Rachel's neck and it was now Rachel's turn to moan. They kissed a lot that night but it didn't go further than that. It was also the first night that Rachel stayed over at Peyton's.
There was a light and it was you
every word I say is true, I say
Brooke sat on the floor of her room with the box of pictures and letters from Rachel. She was still upset about the night's earlier events. She had told Chris about it and he told her that he was sorry and that if she needed anything at all she'd be there for him. She just told him that she wanted to be alone for the night but that she would call him later. She was glad to have Chris back in her life. She hoped that his feelings for her were gone. She just didn't feel the same way about him and she didn't want things to get awkward. And of course she wasn't going to ask him so all she could do was hope.
She began reading a letter from Rachel that she gave to her after skipping school one day to spend it at Brooke's beach house.
Oh Brooke the things I do for you. I can't believe I actually skipped school on Friday to go to your beach house the whole weekend. You know I had two tests that day we could have easily gone over three right after school ended. But you are just too cute to resist and it was totally worth it. This weekend was truly amazing Brooke and I won't ever forget it. Our first weekend getaway! Hahaha yeah that sounded lame...But anyway we have to do it again! Spending so much time with you and waking up next to you...I couldn't ask for anything more. All I want in my life is you, Brooke. That won't ever change. I want you to know that. My feelings for you won't ever change. You'll always be in my heart. I love you.
xoxo Rachel
A tear fell down Brooke's cheek. Those last few lines felt like lies now. She was fighting for Rachel but she didn't seem to care anymore though deep down inside Brooke knew Rachel still loved her. She remembered the weekend they had skipped school and spent the whole weekend at her beach house just being together; tanning at the beach and watching movies all day. She wished she could go back to that weekend when everything seemed perfect. When nothing could go wrong between them. That was one of the best weekends Brooke ever had. Brooke wanted to yell at Rachel so bad now. She wanted to show her all these letters that she had written to her in the past. She wanted her to remember what she wrote and remember all the great times they had. They had love...they still do. Brooke believed it and she wanted Rachel to believe so bad. Her thoughts were interrupted when her cell phone vibrated meaning she had a new text message. She flipped her phone open.
Brooke, I hope you're okay. I'm sorry things didn't work out tonight. Let me know if you need anything.
Lucas
Brooke started to text him back.
Thanks Lucas. Rachel is being so difficult about this and I don't know what I can do anymore. For tonight though I just want to be alone. Thanks for everything Luke.
Brooke
Brooke really did appreciate Lucas these past month. They really only talked at school but when they did talk he was really sweet. He always made sure she wasn't feeling down just like Nathan made sure as well. She was glad that she wasn't completely alone through this tough time and now things were finally better with Chris. The only thing missing in her life was Rachel.
Everyday I will wait
'til you're mine again
Peyton slowly opened her eyes and looked over to the space next to her and frowned when she didn't see Rachel next to her. Thoughts began racing through her mind that maybe Rachel freaked and left. She sat up from her bed. She couldn't believe she actually thought Rachel was over Brooke. She knew the only reason Rachel wasn't there was because Rachel realized her feelings were really for Brooke and had to get out of there. Moments later though Rachel happily entered Peyton's room causing her to furrow her eyebrows but still smile.
"Well it's about time Sawyer. You sleep like a log." Rachel said.
"Shut up" Peyton replied with a small laugh and it was silent for a few moments. "When I woke up and I didn't see you I thought..." Peyton started to trail off
"Hey..." Rachel said in a soft tone as she sat down next to Peyton taking her hand. "I told you last night I want to be with you, okay. Me and Brooke are the past. You're my future now." Rachel gave her a reassuring smile.
"I know. I know. It's just I know the way you two felt about each other...and I just got a little scared that's all."
"Well don't get scared anymore. I'm here with you now and I will be from now on."
"It's great to hear you say that you know." Peyton told her.
"Now get your skinny ass in the bathroom and get ready. I'm going to go home and get ready as well and then I'll be back. We can go out and do something." Peyton smiled and nodded getting off the bed and Rachel watched as the blonde walked into the bathroom closing the door behind her.
Rachel was happy with Peyton now. Last night was great. Peyton was great. She could tell that Peyton really cared about her and that's what Rachel always wanted. Yet, there was a part of her that couldn't forget Brooke. She felt like she was betraying her in some way or another. She didn't want to love her anymore and she was trying so hard to bury those feelings but she knew that deep deep down in her heart that she still loved Brooke with all her heart. She hadn't stopped loving her less at all. It had been a month since they'd been broken up and she still couldn't move on which she hated. She wanted to forget Brooke. She wanted to let go of her completely and just move on with her life. Move on with Peyton.
Peyton was the complete opposite of Brooke. It was the person Rachel would be better off with. She had spent so much time with Peyton since the break up with Brooke that they were bound to get together. They had so much more in common than she ever had with Brooke. But no matter how much she might have in common with Peyton or how much they clicked it didn't erase the two in half years Rachel had been with Brooke for.
She quickly rid those thoughts and left Peyton's room. She was going to force herself to forget Brooke and she was going to make sure she was happy with Peyton. She went home to get ready and come back to Peyton's to spend the day together.
Brooke awoke that morning from the floor. She fell asleep looking at old pictures of her and Rachel. She knew it would be better if she just put those letters and pictures away and not cause herself so much misery but she couldn't help it. She wanted to be with Rachel so bad.
She pushed away the box got up and got ready to go out for a jog. She hoped that a run could help her clear her mind for a bit. She laced her tennis shoes and then grabbed her Ipod. She walked out the door and began to jog down the block. It was 20 minutes into her run when she noticed a blonde and redhead hand in hand walking together. It caused Brooke to stop and just stare on. Her heart dropped as she saw the blonde feed the redhead ice cream. They were laughing and seemed happy. Brooke wanted nothing more than to be Peyton at that moment. To be happy next to Rachel again. She would do anything. So much for clearing my head she thought to herself. Neither Rachel nor Peyton saw Brooke watching them. After looking on a few more seconds Brooke quickly turned around and ran back to her house.
I will die everyday
'till you're mine again
there's no words to explain
no beginning and no end
As she jogged up her driveway Chris was coming out of his house. He saw her and called out her name as he walked over to her.
Brooke was panting "Hey Keller." she said with a smile.
"You feeling better?" he asked concerned.
"No not really but there's not much I can do right now is there." she let out.
"I guess not. You can try talking to her again" he suggested.
"Yeah, so she can just deny everything again. No thanks. I just hope she can realize soon that we're meant for each other. I saw her with Peyton not to long ago" Brooke rolled her eyes.
"I"m sorry, Brooke."
She shrugged. "I hate that they seem so happy. I know that Rachel still loves me though. She's just burying her feelings for me. So, like I said I hope she realizes soon who she's really suppose to be with it because the longer she stays with Peyton the worse it's going to be for her. Peyton is going to be crushed."
"Are you sure Rachel still has feelings for you though? Do you think she's the kind of person to get into one relationship while still having feelings for someone else?"
"Obviously I do."
"Maybe she's moving on though something you should probably be doing as well. You can't hold onto her forever you know. You'll make yourself miserable."
"Chris, she loves me okay. And I don't care what anyone says. I know how she feels even if she won't admit it."
"If you say so...but Chris Keller thinks differently..." he said.
"Brooke thinks Chris Keller should keep his thoughts to himself and run along to work now." Brooke said with a smile.
He smiled back. "Okay okay I'll see you later. And I'd hug you right now but you're all smelly and sweaty so I think I'll pass. See you later Davis." he told her and walked off. She waved at him and watched him go with a smile.
It's just how it runs between us
It's the ocean underneath us
It's the picture that won't fade away
The following Monday was horrible for Brooke at least the morning was. Peyton and Rachel were attached at the hip. It was torture for Brooke. As she gathered her books from her locker. She glanced over to see Peyton and Rachel who were further down the hallway. They were hugging meaning they were probably going different class. Brooke saw Rachel smiling as she hugged Peyton but then she locked eyes with Rachel and Rachel's smile fell. She saw how broken Brooke felt so looked away form Brooke and quickly pulled away from Peyton and forced a smile. Peyton walked off to class and Brooke went back to getting books from her locker. Brooke felt like she was in hell.
Fourth period, English, quickly arrived. Rachel still sat as far as she could form Brooke who was now use to it. She would look over at Rachel a few times to see if she could get her attention but never did. Brooke closed her eyes and lay her head on her desk for the rest of the class period. English was so boring to her. She didn't know why she needed to learn about poems.
"Now I'd like to have someone read Pablo Neruda's poem, Clenched Soul, out loud please. Any volunteers?" the teacher said 35 minutes into class after telling Pablo Neruda's life story. He saw that no one raised their hand so he looked around to choose someone. His eyes fell on Brooke in the back of the room who was sleeping. "Miss Davis." he called out but didn't get response. "Miss Davis" he said in a louder tone.
"Brooke" Bevin said in a loud whisper. But she didn't get a response either. Classmates including Rachel started to turn around to look at Brooke. "Brooke" she said in a louder whisper.
"Bevin will you please wake Miss Davis up." he told her.
"Yes sir." she replied and then nudged Brooke.
"What!" Brooke yelled out looking at Bevin who pointed at the teacher. Brooke looked at the front of the classroom where her teacher stood. "Oh." she said with an embarrassed smile. "Sorry." The class all let out small laughs.
"Try not to fall asleep in my class again, Miss Davis. Now can do me a favor and read Neruda's poem 'Clenched Soul'"
Brooke looked down at her desk and didn't have her book open. "Um..."
"Page 91, Miss Davis." he told her in an annoyed tone now. She hated the way he called her Miss Davis.
"Right." she said and quickly turned the pages until she reached to 91. "Okay. Clenched Soul by Pablo Neruda." She said and then started to read out loud the poem out loud.
"We have lost even this twilight.
No one saw us this evening hand in hand
While the blue night dropped on the world.
I have seen from my window
the fiesta of sunset in the distant mountain tops.
Sometimes a piece of sun
burned like a coin in my hand.
I remembered you with my soul clenched
in that sadness of mine that you know.
Who were you then?
Who else was there?
Saying what?
Why will the whole of love come on me suddenly
when I am sad and you are far away?
The book fell that always closed at twilight
and my blue sweater rolled like a hurt dog at my feet.
Always, always you recede through the evenings
toward the twilight erasing statutes."
As soon as she finished reading the last line of the poem, Brooke felt like she actually knew what it meant. There was something about it that really made her understand.
"Well done Miss Davis" he said to her. She rolled her eyes. Why did he have to keep calling her Miss Davis. Couldn't he just call her Brooke. "Now I am going to pair you up and the two of you will have a week to write a three page paper on what you think the meaning of this poem is. You papers will be due Monday the minute you walk into class. Do not slack off."
Brooke sighed to herself. She hated writing papers.
The teacher started pairing up people. And Brooke listened for her name to be called out. "Miss Davis you will be paired up with..." he said as he looked at the sheet of paper he held in front of him with the names of students. "Rachel Gatina."
When Brooke heard Rachel's name she perked up. She smiled and looked over at Rachel had her face buried in her hands. Brooke's smile disappeared but she stayed looking at Rachel who shortly after looked back at Brooke. Brooke gave her a weak smile and Rachel forced one.
When the bell rang Brooke quickly gathered her things and walked over to Rachel's desk.
"So when do you want to get together to work on this stupid paper?" Brooke asked her
Rachel still sat at her desk not looking up at Brooke. "I guess we can get together Saturday and work on it all day. We have cheerleading after school all week and I have other work to do as well. It shouldn't be to hard."
"Okay sounds good!" Brooke said with a smile.
"Yeah..." Rachel said as she got up from her seat. "See you later, Brooke" she said and walked past her.
Brooke saw this as the perfect opportunity to win Rachel back. Brooke was going to make sure to remind Rachel about all the great times they had together especially that first weekend they spent the whole weekend together at her beach house and she was going to have a whole day to do all she could to make Rachel realize she should be with her and not Peyton.
Everyday I will wait
'til you're mine again
brings me close to the day
when you're mine again
You'll be mine again
Sorry this one took longer to post than the others. Didn't really have time to write.
Thanks to Farah A, spashley20, Lena, & angel0wonder for reviewing the last chapter. Next chapter is going to be pure flashback so we won't see Brooke and Rachel working on the paper together until the chapter after that one. Thanks for reading and please review. Have a lovely day.
