Were back fellow readers and fans, now during the holidays we been discussing about the various friendships in the anime. After I re-watch the anime and play the VN again...it's sad for me to say that I think that the friendship between Sunohara and Kyou is by far the weakest. I came to this conclusion because after watching the anime again... I find Sunohara a far better friend towards Kyou, than Kyou is to Sunohara.

Even though Sunohara does deserve... the abuse that she gives him... the fact is that when he does have his good moments, Kyou still treats him like crap. For example in the anime she sees their friendship as hierarchical, and Sunohara hates those types of relationships. Another example is when Nagisa is having cold feet about the play he teaches Nagisa a charm by writing a kanji of 'person', but writes 'enter'. Kotomi politely informs him of his mistake while Kyou just insults him. A big example is when she insults him when he gets rejected on being a model...yeah friends don't kick each other when their down. Also when After Story during the Christmas Episode when Sunohara basically hopes that that he would be relationship with one of the girls and Kyou quickly rejects him coldly... another ouch towards Sunohara.

But the biggest reason why Kyou is not a good friend towards Sunohara is the anime special Another World Kyou, basically in this special episode Tomoya actually dates Ryou and Kyou is upset by it. During the time when Tomoya is with Ryou, rumours started to surface that Kyou and Tomoya are dating because of a pretend kiss incident (she ask him to kiss her thinking her as Ryou put pushes him away in the end) so in order to get rid of the rumours she decides to force herself to date Sunohara... but Sunohara kindly rejects her and actually ask her if she really likes him that she would date him, she doesn't answer.

Okay a little rant time, it is the only one I'm going to make : )

First off I don't care how sad Kyou is...but that fact that she willing to use Youhei like that, completely discarding his feelings... YOU NEVER USE FRIENDS LIKE THAT.

Sunohara indirectly says that he wanted to date her and likes her, but he knows it isn't right because he knows that Kyou likes Tomoya. That's a true sign of friendship, he completely disregard is own personal feelings and just tries to comfort her and give some sound advice to Tomoya. Sunohara could of easily told Tomoya to stick with Ryou and Sunohara could have Kyou in the end.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not bashing Kyou and praising Sunohara, because there both morons, I just trying to give my opinion on the matter of the friendship between Kyou and Youhei.

It really make me wonder... why does Youhei even consider her as a friend?

Okay rant time over back to the story....



Clannad

In Our Early Days

Chapter 8

You Are Poison

The Chapters hidden in Tomoyo's and Youhei's Heart Slightly Beats On.

She couldn't believe what happen to her only a few hours ago, something that no one should experience, something that should never exist. There were several emotions that course through her; fear, pain, humiliation, heartache, use, sacred and the worst of all fragile...weak. That single emotion affected her most of all, she hated that emotion than any other. She remember promising to herself to never feel such emotion, she had to remain strong for her family and for herself. However she had no such privilege when that single moment when he striped her clothes away and force himself on her.

She couldn't remember what was going on during it, her mind numb; sadly her body was fully aware, she could feel it all, and she could hear his voice laughing at her the whole duration. Then after, when she woke up, lying down, abandon and cold, she finally realize what happen, she was raped. When she force herself up, her feet started to move, and without resisting them, she forward them straight to a familiar building. Many on lookers stared at the almost naked woman, tears ran down her cheeks, yet no one help her.

"Youhei..." the broken woman sobbed in his arms.

The man only stood there, motionless as he saw the crying woman in his arms. He couldn't believe it, his friend, Tomoyo, always known to be a strong and independent, being so frail. This was the first time she ever been like this in front of him, he felt helpless, the only thing he could do now and just hold her.

The only question that pop in his mind...

Where have all the good times gone?

"Tomoyo..." he said softy.

She didn't respond.

"We have to go to hospital," he said.

She didn't respond for a long moment, the finally she nodded.

***

He hated hospitals, every time he came to one; his friends were the ones that were suffering on the other side. First there was his best friend from childhood Kazumi, and then there was Ryou, crying over a very sick Kappei, Yukine when she was beaten from her father. Then Tomoyo, the woman who help him through university, a friend who taught him how to cook, and a friend who guided him into the man he is today. And the most important thing of all, a friend who is special to him.

He sat in the waiting room, for the doctor to be done with Tomoyo examination.

He started at the close door, where Tomoyo waited.

It must be hard for her, he knew it... he felt it.

Tomoyo sat in the single hospital room, while the doctor did her examination, she was thankful that the doctor is a woman. If it were a man, she would break down again, non-responsive; however it was still hard for her. Her body was just violated, and to be violated again and the doctors question only add salt to her already deep wounds, she started to have flash backs of the event.

She stared at the closed door, where Youhei waited.

It must be hard for him, she knew it...she felt it.

"Sakagami-san," the doctor called.

"Yes..." she replied still staring at the door.

"Do you know who raped you? We will contract police, or you can wait until tomorrow, you must be overwhelmed and you need sleep, I can tell you the results in the morning..."

"No...I like to hear them," she interrupted her attention still at the door.

"There is no permanent damage, and the drugs that were in your body are already starting to clear out of your system. Whoever this person who drug you, made sure you were still aware what was going on, one sick man. So I need to ask you... do you know who done this to you?" she asked again.

Tomoyo shook her head.

"No," she lied.

"I see...," the older woman replied. "Here," she handed Tomoyo a card.

Tomoyo took it from the doctor's hands and read it. It was a clinic card from a physiologist that specializes in rape victims.

"I hope you do call her, I know her quite well, she will help you through this...also you should take this," the doctor handed Tomoyo something else.

The eyes of the woman widen when she notice what it was.

"I just hope you be strong enough for the results when you do use it Sakagami-san," she bowed. "May you be strong in difficult times," she walked out of the room leaving the poor woman alone.

When to door open Tomoyo saw Youhei there standing right in front of the door way, his face full of concern. She didn't honestly know what to say, she knew that sad face of his, and she witnesses it before, long time ago in high school. The time during winter that he tried so desperately to help Yukine through her troubles. It was the look of being lost and confuse, something she been seeing more often the ever.

"I'm sorry Youhei, but can you leave me?" she asked facing away.

"Don't say another word Tomoyo," he interrupted her.

"Please Youhei," tears ran down her face. "I don't want you to see me like this."

"Fine then, I just turn away," he turned around not facing her. "But I will still stay here, for you," he added.

"You baka..."

"I'm always am..." the man took a deep breath. "Listen...Tomoyo, you're going to stay with me for a while..." said.

"What?"

"You shouldn't be alone at this time, and I want to be by your side, in your time of coping..." he paused again. "Sorry I didn't mean it to sound it like that; I just want to help you..."

"Youhei...I accept if you promise me one thing."

"What is it?"

"Please don't do anything to Masao, let me handle him,"

"Tomoyo...he raped you, and you're not going to do anything about it?" he question facing her.

"No..."

"Why?"

"Because the first time in my life I'm scared," she answered not facing away from him again. "So you have to promise me you won't do anything with Masao..." she said.

"Fine...I promise," Youhei lied.

***

She stare at the ceiling for hours in the dark room, the only light radiating from alarm clock resting on the night stand gave her little comfort. The ride back to Youhei's place was uncomfortable; none of them said a word on their way there. The only sounds between them were the wheels running on the pavement through the long dark streets of the city. She rested her head on the passenger side window and watches the glare of the street lights go by. At one point his hand reach over and held hers, it felt warm and gentle, something she always felt from him.

It was 2 in the morning and she still couldn't sleep, she turned to her side facing the door leading out to the living room, where Youhei rested himself on the couch. She could still feel the warmth in her hand, the same hand that he held. She remembers spending time together in a school festival during her final year in university on a 'friend date.'

It was the first time he held her hand, and that sweet moment was the last thing she thought of before falling asleep.

Tomoyo's Dream

"Sorry I'm late, were you waiting long?" Tomoyo apologized to Youhei who was leaning against the school gates.

The man just smiled.

"Nope I just got here a few minutes ago, ummm," he paused when he stared at the blue dress she was wearing. "I guess I'm underdressed," he chuckled scratching the back of his head. "Sorry."

"Why are you apologizing?" she titled her head to the side with a hint of worry.

"Well," he stared at his cheap suit he was wearing. "You just look so beautiful, and I'm not that appealing, so if I'm beside you, you might get humiliate," he explain with a sigh.

"Stop Youhei..." she blushes slightly. "You're handsome," she smiled. "Besides I rather be with you then any other man I know," she nodded.

"Thanks...so do you have any plans on where you want to go?" he asked.

"Well... there is an event of a Dragon Boat Race; would you like to see that first?"

"Okay sure...um, you know the way?" he asked with a shy grin.

"Of course," she nodded.

The night went by fast, they visit on any event that they could. Trying out some various games, and tasting some of the food that the festival had to offer. But the biggest event that they enjoy the most is the ending cerebration when they view a gorgeous display of fireworks at a hill side.

Both of them stood together under a Cherry Blossom Tree both of them admiring the show.

"Amazing..." Tomoyo whispered.

"Yeah..." Youhei replied. "It sucks that you are graduating this year, I still have a year left," he sighed.

"Youhei, don't worry, were still be friends. Besides you don't need my help anymore, you're on your way to fulfill a dream," she smiled at him.

"Yes I know, I'm just going to miss you," he smiled.

"Me too, Youhei."

Both of them stared at each other for a long minute, and then the grad final of the firework display grabbed their attention as they both look up at the sky, their eyes full of astonishment when they saw a huge kanji of 'happiness and fortune' display in the sky with sliver light.

"Youhei...promise me as a friend, if I ever in a pinch, you will be there to save me," she asked her eyes still up in the sky.

"I promise," he held her hand.

Real World

Tomoyo smiled to herself as she hugged a pillow beside her in her sleep.

"Youhei...please be at my side..." she prayed as tears ran down her cheeks into the pillow.

However Youhei wasn't resting on the couch in the living room, he was in his car, driving towards a place that he knew Masao would be in. Masao is the type of guy who enjoys only one thing, women, and the best place to find woman, would be the hottest night club in the city.

It wasn't hard to find him in the dark lighted club, after a few questions and directions from the people inside, he found out that he had reserved a VIP room in the top floor balcony.

When he did see him... all he saw was a flash of white rage.

The last thing he remembers was the sound of scream and terror and then the sounds of a jail cell closing behind him.

***

When the woman woke up from the sounds of the alarm clock beating down on her ears, she turned it off only fall on to her pillow again. She still felt sleepy, she had only a few hours of sleep and she didn't want to leave the bed. She wanted to avoid going out in society as long as possible... and also to avoid using the item that the doctor gave her that was sitting on the nightstand... mocking her.

Sunohara sat his back against the wall in his jail cell, thinking back what he did to Masao just an hour ago. But it wasn't regret he felt, it was fear that course through is heart. When he first made eye contact with Masao, he couldn't control his body; he saw everything that his body did, the one thing he did remember clear was Masao face when he fell on the balcony when he shoved him off.

Then a loud knock on the iron bars of the cell broke him out of thought, he turned to see someone that he would never would expected to see.

That someone is his father, the same man that basically disowned him since the day of his birth. The man never patted him on the back, or came to his soccer games. The same man, who gave up raising him, the same man who never loved him.

"You're a lucky man Sunohara....you're free to go," the cell guard opened the cell doors giving him a dirty look. "Your father happens to know many people with high power," he added.

"Get up now Youhei," his father ordered as he tosses him a bag of his son's personal belongings.

After the son giving him a cold glare he nodded.

***

"What the hell were you thinking Youhei? Attempted murder? You're lucky that guy you shove off landed into that pool. If he didn't then even I couldn't help you," his father scolded him when they both left the police station.

"Thanks father for being there in my most desperate times..." the sarcastically gave gratitude.

His father grabbed his son arm's forcing them to face each other, their glare at each growing even colder.

"Would it kill you to be a little more grateful? Do you have any idea how much money and favors I had to use up to cover up your mess? "You're lucky not to have a record after this," be paused. "And for what for some simple girl?" he asked.

"Tomoyo isn't a simple girl!" Youhei lashed out.

"Great...we here go again," the father sighed. "Delusion of gradual... you're already reaching the peek on that stage."

"I am not delusional."

"Yes you are Youhei, you think you can help people... but you still haven't learnt have you. You are not capable of helping people, and you never well be," his father shook his head. "When are you going to accepted that?" he asked.

"I changed father..."

"Yeah I know you change Youhei, but comparing yourself now and yourself in High school, I prefer when you were a delinquent,"

"Are you serious?"

"Damn right I'm serious. Listen, Youhei even though you were a delinquent, a weed and a major disappointment to me, you still had some sort of confidence when doing so. But looking at you now you're a pathetic mess, you're always worried that something might bad happen when you try to 'help people'. And when something bad happens, which is always, you fall into a depression, yet you have some sort of illusion that you can still help people. Why do you do that to yourself, just accept the fact that you can't help people," his father scolded.

"Never..." he said with a harsh tone as he walked away to his car.

"You little bastard," his father said under his breath.

***

"Tomoyo..." Hanoko said as she put a cup of tea in front of the young woman. "You don't have to be here, you should just stay home," her tone grew with concern as she sat on a chair in front of Tomoyo desk.

The morning wasn't great for Tomoyo, when she finally woke up from her slumber, she could still have horrible flash backs on that night before. When she got out of bed and into the next room, Youhei was nowhere to be seen, the couch untouched and his keys and his 'Monarchy' long black trench coat, the same coat that she gave him for his birthday, gone. It felt weird that he wasn't there, she felt alone in that apartment, nothing but her and her overwhelming emotions that stirred within her. She needed to keep herself busy not thinking of what happen.

Tomoyo could see the every moment when Hanoko's heart broke when she told her what happen. Hanoko turned into a concerning and loving mother to her, asking her how she was feeling, consulting her, making her comfortable as possible.

"No, I need something to keep my mind off it, so it's best if I just keep working toady Hanoko," she answered with a fake smile.

Hanoko saw right through the fake smile and just sighed.

"Alright...but if you need anything, just tell me alright?"

Tomoyo nodded.

Work didn't help.

Hanoko could see it, she notice that Tomoyo always seem to drift off when she took in phone calls and filed up some case reports. She often didn't even hear when Hanoko ask her questions and call out to her, she was in no condition to work like this, she knew it, and she knew that Tomoyo knew it. The older woman couldn't help but to watch as the young strong woman she used to know is slowly turning into a frail woman that Hanoko knew that Tomoyo swore to never to be.

It was a long 3 hours until it was 1 in the afternoon.

"Tomoyo...I getting some coffee would you like something to drink?" Hanoko offered.

"But getting refreshments is my job," she replied not answering.

"Don't worry about it, and relax," she smiled. "Green Tea?" she asked.

Tomoyo nodded.

"Green Tea it is then..." she places a hand on Tomoyo shoulder before leaving the office.

She was alone again.

However she didn't have much time to dwell on it as she heard a knock on the door.

"Come in," she called out.

Moments later a middle age man enter the room, she knew him.

The man was Youhei's father, Yuuji Sunohara

"Tomoyo-san," he acknowledges her with a slight cold tone and harden posture.

"Sunohara-san..." she started to say but Yuuji rose his hand up to stop her.

"I'm going to make this quick," his tone getting harder. "Stop being with my son," he demanded his eyes grew cold.

Tomoyo eyes widen.

She couldn't belief what he just said to her.

"Why?" was the only word that she whimpered out.

"Because...you are poisoning his mind Tomoyo," he steps forward into the room. "Listen Tomoyo-san, my wife and daughter Mei likes you, and it obvious that my son Youhei is quite taken with you. I can even say I have a feeling that he loves you. However as for me, I don't like you in the slightest, like I said you are poison to him," he explained.

"Poison?"

"Yes...poison. I sure you already know this about my son, but Youhei isn't all that healthy in his head. His mental problems started to surface ever since he started High School, delusion of gradual something he always had since he was a baby. My son actually thinks that he can help people but he always fails, he is not capable of helping people. And I am damn to let some little girl add on to his delusion, so I don't want you to see him ever again."

"I can't do that to him," she cried out.

Yuuji shrugged his shoulders.

"If you refuse, then I'll force him to be committed into a hospital for his mental health,"

"You do that to your own son?" her eyes widen.

"I rather force him into treatment, then let some simple girl add on to his delusion,"

"You can't do that!" she rose from her chair tears down her cheeks.

"I'm a powerful man Tomoyo-san. You be surprise how a few signatures can change someone's life, besides if you truly 'love' him... then why not just leave him and never look back," he gave a smug smile before he left.

The woman fell onto her knees crying.

"What do I do..."

To be continued