A huge thank you to everyone who's read and given me feedback- you guys are really great to me! In particular, huge shouts go to UnrelentingNightmare and Midirin, for their stalker Hatchi and S & M point for Chopper ideas respectively, not to mention the effort they put in as beta readers. My gratitude can only be expressed in updates ^.^

I've gotten more ideas from people, but I'll wait to thank them until the actual characters are shown, for spoiler reasons. OC's are fine as well, if you have a reason to throw them in (Smoker's dad teasing him, Crocodile's sister borrowing his stuff, etc). Sorry for the long note- enjoy~

Disclaimer: Disclaimer 2: Who's there?

-continued from previous disclaimer-

The Mighty Captain Usopp's Great and Wonderful Journey into another Dimension 9- Comedy and fight scenes, oh my!

"Luffy!" Nami outstretched her free hand in vain, desperately trying to reach for her love. The captain of the Strawhat pirates fell to a watery grave, helpless. He had been turned to stone by the temptress Boa Hancock, and was unable to stretch to safety, cry for help, or even look at Nami one last time, as his statue fell straight for the ocean.

"Nooo!" Nami held back a sob, unsuccessfully. Tears blurred her vision, but she couldn't even wipe them. Her love . . . Hancock sneered at her side, delighted with how this was turning out.

It seemed hopeless, as Luffy hit the water, and sank straight through the waves. Nami realised he wouldn't drown- he was a statue, right? But that seemed like small comfort- in no time at all, the ship would move on, leaving no way of ever finding him.

In a place known for dangerous mist, the current would make it impossible to ever find this spot again. The carefree, optimistic rubber boy she knew would effectively die from this world…

"Wait!" a wave of inspiration struck Nami, causing her to bolt upright. Hancock frowned, but didn't say anything. What was she up to? With the girl's right arm and left leg turned to stone by her touch, Hancock was reassured that she was safe from any trickery.

Cupping her free hand around her mouth, Nami yelled as loud as she could.

"HA~TCHI! I might let you join the crew if you save Luffy!" Her voice seemed flat, echoing badly through the fog, but there was no other noise at night. He was always behind their boat- would he hear her?

A painful few moments followed, as she continued to yell, screaming for the stalker octopi with all of her lungs. Hancock swiftly shoved her down, knocking the air out of the navigator.

"You think you can save him?" she hissed menacingly. "I won. His loss was complete. No one defies someone as perfect as me!"

Nami grinned weakly; there was nothing else to do.

A faint, gurgly voice yelled from the distance, confirming her hopes: "I found him, miss! Can I take him back to the Sunny?" Hatchi's happiness was clear; being allowed to walk on their boat was something he had dreamed of.

"YES! Go now, Hat-" Nami's yell was cut off, as Hancock's heel met her stomach. Vision blinking dark for a moment, she missed most of his reply. But she was sure Hatchi would keep Luffy's statue safe- that was all she could hope. Thank goodness the fishman was always stalking them!

Her quick thinking might have rescued Luffy's statue, and a chance at bringing him back properly, but there was little she could do to save herself. Even if she held a weapon, half of her limbs were stone- and soon, all of them.

Hancock grinned, stroking Nami softly. She felt better just looking up at the woman; she had never noticed how low-cut Hancock's top was. Hancock whispered something inaudible, placing Nami's hand on her thigh. A moment later, and she too, was stone.

Wow, she sure had been easy to convert. Considering the circumstances, Hancock had figured Nami would take much longer to get attracted to her, but obviously not. The fact that she had been attracted to a female didn't faze Hancock- it was common knowledge that all females were, at best, closet bisexuals, and would always fall for her charms eventually.

Getting up, Hancock sighed with frustration. That fight had bruised her perfect skin, and exhausted her. Even worse, that boy's statue had been saved, which was just annoying. She liked to be in perfect control all of the time.

Dusting off her form-fitting clothes, she rested the girls statue against a ruined bookcase, making sure it wouldn't fall over. She'd meant to play with her before selling the wench, but she really was in no mood to be around anyone after all this.

Grimacing, she left the dungeon, striding to her own quarters to relax. A nice, hot bath was what she needed right now . . .

-A scene change, to give you all time to have a cold shower and a lie down after picturing Hancock's bath, perverts. You all were, weren't you? No, I won't be writing that. Well, I might if I get ten alerts from this chapter. I'm frightfully shallow like that, you see-

Usopp looked across from the bedroom he was in, warily. He'd been slowly sneaking through the ship, cautiously, and as a result was still a fair way away from Luffy's trail. However, the upshot was that he was alive, and was still in a position to save his crewmates (little did he realize how few were still locked up).

He listened carefully, ear pressed against the wooden wall. Footsteps had alerted him to someone walking through, and it sounded like a girl. Usopp would have claimed his superior hearing allowed him to analyse the lightness of the footfalls, combined with the shorter timing between steps, to clearly point towards a lighter, shorter figure, had one of the others been around to be impressed.

He also would have remembered this was an all-girl crew, and mentioned the song she was humming as slightly more obvious indicators of her gender, yes, but that didn't prove that he hadn't also analysed the steps, dammit.

He looked through a crack in a door, recognising a slight figure with dark hair and glasses. Wait, was her name again? He hushed himself as he recalled the swordswoman Tashigi, who was usually seen behind Smoker the Marine. He waited until she was gone, wondering how much of a threat she was in this dimension. Best not to take any chances- a wise warrior welcomed any battle avoided, he knew. And that made him a veritable Ghandi of wiseness. Er, wisdom.

He left the room in the opposite direction, a minute later. He didn't know where she was headed, but hopefully none of his friends would have to fight her. He wondered for a moment if Zoro would still have the same reaction to her, knowing that she looked like that dead girl he used to like. Unless his childhood friend had been changed into a dude in this dimension, to give the same reaction? But in that case, where did that leave Tashigi?

Oh well. It didn't really bother him, as he headed through the surprisingly large hallway, unknowingly headed right for danger himself . . .

-back in the dungeons-

Zoro stretched, muscles stiff. The whole night had just been boring waiting so far, causing her to yawn. The urge to sleep was strong, but she knew sleeping in an enemy dungeon was unwise. Not to mention the chains made it too difficult to lean back comfortably.

This seemed to be a small cell- presumably, Nami had been given one of the larger ones they walked past, with her and Robin in more confined rooms. After some time, Luffy could be heard running past, screaming at the top of his lungs.

"I'm over here, idiot! Hey, Luffy!" Zoro sighed, as Luffy's calls grew faint already.

"He's yelling so loud he can't even hear the people he's trying to find! His lack of discipline is shameful . . ." she muttered. Testing the chains, Zoro found enough leeway to scratch her head, messing up her hair nonchalantly in the process.

Sometime later, a dark figure entered the room. Door creaking ominously, Zoro looked up to see . . .

"Ku-Kuina?" What the hell was going on? Standing at the doorway was her best friend from back when they were kids, who Zoro had never expected to see again.

"Who is Kuina?"

"Don't screw with me! Who're you?"

The girl frowned, adjusting her glasses as she got a better look at Zoro.

"You're surprisingly mannish for someone the captain brought in."

"Why should I care what you think?"

"I was hoping for a delicate, nicer girl. This is a shame," Kuina sighed, walking in as she readied her swords.

"Hey, what the hell are you getting your swords out for?" Zoro began to panic, straining against the chains again.

"I like a little bit of torture; that's why you're in the barest, most prison-like holding cell we have." Her tone made it sound like this was a basic fact, as if they were discussing how to use a compass.

"Hey, cut it out!" Zoro leaned backwards, sweating at the sight of the wickedly sharp blades. "I'm not into that! Wouldn't your captain be pissed if I died before you could sell me?"

"Not really. I doubt someone like you would die so easily, anyway," Tashigi winked as she readied an odd stance. Her sword was up behind her shoulder, closer to a golfer's stance than someone about to battle.

Zoro started to panic- the sight of someone so much like Kuina, about to cut her? What the hell? The thin blade swung down, aiming for her shoulder blade. Zoro winced, ducking down as far as the chains would allow when . . .

Nothing happened? A sharp sound echoed, but she was unhurt. Had that girl really missed? Opening one eye curiously, Zoro discovered what was going on. The dark-haired woman was hacking away at the chains, cutting through slowly.

"Don't you have a key or something? That'd be faster," Zoro looked up at her curiously.

"Wait, that's all you have to say?"

"Pretty much."

"You're not surprised I'm apparently helping you here?"

"I figure you'll tell me why you are if you want to." There was no point questioning a good thing, to Zoro's mind, her earlier confusion lost.

"I'm not helping you!" Tashigi frowned- this chick was reacting all wrong! They were supposed to get their hopes up, and then panic again even more!

"Sure looks you're helping." Zoro raised a thin eyebrow quizzically. Looking at her deadpan expression, Tashigi felt strangely annoyed.

"You're no fun at all! I was going to free one arm, and then start torturing you, so you can only squirm a little longer. But that's ruined, thanks to you," she accused Zoro.

"Gee, so sorry. Maybe you should play your mind games on someone who cares?" Zoro stretched luxuriously, as her arm was freed. With a thud, the dull chain hit the ground, as Tashigi got up again.

"Fine," she sulked, readying her sword, "I'll just cut you until I feel better." Zoro glared, unsure how to get out of this mess. This girl was clearly insane, and moody to boot. Just her luck to find someone into torture, as well . . . freak.

Tashigi mercifully skipped the chatter and taunting part of her repertoire, lunging almost immediately at Zoro. She rolled out of the way, the one arm freed granting her a small radius to move around. The only other chain was attached to her left arm, which was pretty tight. Kicking out with both feet, Zoro aimed for her jaw.

The attack was a miss, but Tashigi did fall back for a moment when dodging. Breathing heavily with the tension, even as she enjoyed it, Zoro leaped back, just avoiding the next stab.

She was laughing at her opponents moves, inside- a sweeping movement would have covered her much better- even as she realised it didn't matter what she used. An amateur swordswoman would still be enough to finish her like this. Damn, that was embarrassing.

That thought made her pissed, even as Zoro began to dodge the next blow. Bringing the chain in front of her body, she caught that attack with it, the sword busting through, and through her ribs at the same time.

Grinning at the woman through a quick spurt of crimson that hung in the air between them, Zoro was freed. She pulled the blade out of her stomach, realizing it had only penetrated halfway or so. Leaping at the stunned novice, she attempted to wrestle her blade off of her. This was her chance!

They fought for a brief moment, Zoro kicking and punching in a brutal, basic melee. Her muscles were far stronger than the short Tashigi, but she was weakened and tired. They struggled , rolling across the room as they did so. Blood dripped over the room and their clothes, Zoro having opened up the wound without covering it.

"Can't you feel pain!" Tashigi cried, surprised at this girls strength. The sword in her arms had been twisted around, but she'd managed to nick the other girl twice more. Why wasn't she reacting? Zoro grinned, relishing the life-or-death atmosphere. It had been a while since she found herself actually struggling, or without her swords- things had almost gotten boring on the last few islands.

Tashigi finally snapped out of her mood, remembering the other ability of her sword. Gripping the hilt as carefully as she could, even as that green-haired monster started to pull it out of her arms, she unleashed a surge of purple electricity through the blade. Zoro fell to the ground, springing back up almost immediately.

They stared for a brief moment, panting.

"The hell kind of blade was that?" Zoro stared at the ornate, thin katana.

"This is one of the elemental Shigure blades: The thunder sword, Jishinkaminarikajioyaji Shigure!"

Zoro stared blankly at her triumphant face, sweat forming on the back of her head.

" . . . is that the actual name of your sword?"

"Yep! Impressed?"

"That's just cruel . . ."

"Hey, this blade can bring lightning through your chest! Be impressed, dammit!"

"I'd rather have nothing to do with a sword named like that. I'll be going now, if you're okay with that." And Zoro waved at her with a dead expression as she left the room. Tashigi pouted at her sword not getting the attention it deserved. Jishinkaminarikajioyaji Shigure was a fine name!

Wait! Her hand slapped her cheek in surprise, as she realized that woman had just escaped.

"Get back here, you!" She ran out of the room, angry, as Zoro began laughing.

"You're not too bright, are you?" She ran, making good pace with her head start, wondering which way lead out of this place. Man, now she wished she had paid attention when they brought her down . . . not that it would have helped much.

Ducking from a projectile blast of lightning, Zoro's combined fight-and-flight continued, even as Usopp encountered someone else on his side of the boat.

In front of him, blocking the hallway, was a cool, calm woman. She was glaring at him through glasses, dark hair long and still against her back. Her sword was outstretched, the point facing Usopp. He shivered, as much from fear as from cold.

For once, the others might have believed that excuse, seeing as his leg had just been frozen to the ground. For in front of him, a woman who looked just like Tashigi had unveiled an ornate katana, with ice powers. Things were finally heating up . . . well, not literally. Things were finally cooling down, it seemed . . . Except they were still somewhat interesting. Well, if one thing was certain, things sure were happening . . .

And that's all for now~ There's a poll up on my profile, if anyone's interested in seeing a teaser/hint of the next arc (and deciding something completely arbitrary at the same time). Oh, and I was at a con all weekend, which explains why I was a lil late with this part. Too busy high-fiving awesome Trafalgar Law cosplayers, YES.