Chapter nine
big thanks to the reviewers for giving me spirit to make you laugh more
we roll v-v/) :

TAZUNA'S HOUSE – AN HOUR AFTER TEAM SEVEN MINUS NARUTO REACHED IT

"WUZZUUUU"
'WUZZUUUU'
"WUZUUUUUUUP?"
'DID I JUST HEAR A FUCKING SQUIRREL ANSWER US?' kyuubi shouted in disbelief
'mother of god…'
BONK…you know it!
naruto was greeted with a forceful punch to the face by sakura
"WHERE WERE YOU, YOU IDIOT"? she asked angry for god-knows-whatever-reason
'…I was out there risking my ass for you nimruds…'
'don't mind her kid…'
"oh a black cat entered the battle field so we decided to postpone it for later" naruto said scratching the back of his head
"hmph" sasuke said, probably welcoming him back
'how did he even survive…he couldn't have outrun him…and he doesn't even have a scratch on him…naruto…I'll figure you out yet…' sasuke thought to himself with despise
"ohayo naruto-kun
good to have you back" kakashi said with a (seemingly) grin even though he was covered in bandages and his foot was in a cast
"its good to be back sensei...i see you won't be able to read for a while huh?"
then he saw a woman washing dishes in the back, tazuna sitting on a chair drinking as usual and a kid sitting on the stairs and glaring daggers into him
"so what's for dinner?" he said with a grin

DINNER TIME

Everyone was eating their foods, along with some chit-chats here and there, mainly between naruto and kakashi, discussing what will happen next in icha-icha until the kid, who was called inari got up and screamed
"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING LAUGHING HERE?
YOU'RE ALL GONNA DIE SO JUST GO HOME ALREADY"
naruto got pissed at this but decided to hold back for now
"INARI, don't be rude to the guests" the mother, named tsunami said angrily at the boy
"why?...they're all gonna try to be heroes and end up like dad…"
"SO WHAT?" naruto said as loud and rough as he could making everyone shudder
"narutooo" sakura growled in annoyance and with danger
"AT LEAST WE'RE DOING SOMETHING AND NOT SITTING ON OUR ASSES CRYING LIKE A BITCH"
inari started sniffling at that
"that's right…go ahead and cry…I'm going for a walk" he said going outside
inari ran to his room crying
"I'll take care of him" kakashi said before going up to inari's room…which proved to be more painful then he thought with a cast on his leg, going up the stairs
he tried explaining to him what naruto's past was like to make him understand

A FEW DAYS LATER – RANDOM PART OF FOREST

"today we'll be climbing trees as training everyone" kakashi said with a smile
"…" and the three glared at the Cyclops
"yes…let me demonstrate"
and with that said, he started walking up a tree without his hands
"hmph"
"wow"
"me three" naruto said with sarcasm no one noticed….YOU KNOW IT !
"your turn"
sakura went up all the way in one go
"looks like someone has control over her chakra"
'maybe he'll like me more now' author respectively facepalmed
sasuke went up ¼ of the way before jumping back
'I see…too much and it'll crush my step and too little and I'll slip…' sasuke thought to himself

"…."
everyone was watching naruto and naruto was watching the tree
"LETS DO THIS MOTHAFUCKAAAAAA" he shouted running up the tree…all the way…which surprised everyone
"HOW?" sasuke shouted
"naruto…you can't use a wire…its cheating" kakashi said with his head down, rubbing his eyes
"awww…" naruto jumped down and cut a wire he had attached to himself
"follow me…punishment shall be swift and with style" kakashi said disappearing
"bleh" sakura showed him her tongue
"sorry but I'm not a fan of French kisses…unless you French my little buddy" naruto said snickering
"and teme…you crushed your step man
what dafuq?
you mad bro?"
sasuke stiffened at that
'you weren't really wearing a wire…were you?...'

WITH KAKASHI AND NARUTO

"whaddya want?"
"explain to me how you survived an A-rank nuke-nin" kakashi said appearing above him on a branch
"I see no reason to explain…ask oji-san…if he tells ya then lucky you…if you don't have anything else I'm gonn-"
"I want you to train sasuke"
naruto stiffened like a rock
"what was that?" naruto asked fuming
"I saw you fight with zabuza…and I want you to train sasuke to be just as strong...also….the council has asked me to specifically concentrate on his training…I need you to help me train him"
"sure"
"really?"
"NO" naruto said and shunshined out of there
'hoo boy…gonna be hard training the arrogant last uchiha on my own'

SOME FARAWAY PLACE

Naruto lied on the grass trying to cool off but he was still shaking with anger
'…this is so unfair…'
'…'
'just because he's the last of uchiha and they suck his dick for his sharingan…fuck…he can't even activate it'
'c'mon kid don't compare yourself to that shit'
'I'm the last namikaze…I'm the son of a hero…my mother's family were gods of sealing…I'm way better than him but what do I get?...i don't get allowed in shops, get sold past expiration date foods…the best clothes I ever got were those baggy orange clothes…I had to freaking hange so I could get normal clothes'
tears started rolling down his face
he wiped his face
he got up and turned around to see a girl with long black hair, pale white skin and a sleeveless kimono walking toward him
"gasp…virgin-chan…you came to me at last" he said beginning to cry again and was welcomed by a punch to the face
"HOW DID YOU KNOW AND WHY DO YOU KEEP CALLING ME THAT?" she asked enraged and senbons ready
naruto got up wiping his face
"I smelled you of course…your virginity…I want it…I must FEED on it" he said crawling towards her
"nah I'm just fucking with ya" he said getting up
"and put those needles away…your dad couldn't take me on and you think you can?"
"he's not my dad…"
"please do explain…not like I wanna go back there right now anyways…and I'm gonna drag your asses back to konoha with me and save your lives from this shit-hole…I could use a kinjutsu master….of the seven swordsman and someone who has a kekkei-genkai"
haku's eyes widened slightly before she calmed herself
"the bingo-book?"
"of course…and not like everyone can mix wind and water chakra easily…now please…explain to me about your situation and your past…my future mistress" he said licking his lips
"…" she threw a senbon that hit him in the clavicle
"YEOW…hohohoho…I like my women rough…you don't look like a hellcat though…"
"I'm leaving"
"nyuuuuu, I'm sorry I was just kidding
I'm trying to break the ice between us" he said with a stress on the ice
he put on sunglasses and looked up
"AWWW YEAAAAHH"
"…" haku was thinking about why she was gonna tell him her life story
"okay…now please get comfy and tell me all about it"

TWO HOURS LATER

'SWEET MOTHER OF GOD…I KNOW SHE HAS A NICE VOICE TO HEAR HER PANT OR SQUEALL BUT WOMEN TALKING FOR TWO HOURS NON-STOP?...GAAHH'
naruto on the other hand listened to her story with interest
they were alike on some points…only that he had to rely on himself and no one like zabuza came to save him…no wait someone did…the kyuubi…the reason why everyone despised him
but he wasn't a fatherly figure for him, though he was grateful for having a friend through all this
"alright…meet me tomorrow on the bridge…and get ready for a fight haku…I want you to tell zabuza to explain to kakashi my plan of taking you two with me and I want you to…beat the crap of the uchiha boy"
"alright…and thanks…for listening to me…I feel much lighter"
'no shit you stupid bitch
we'll ride you so hard with that cute voice of yours that you'll scream for more GROOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAH'
'we?...unless you're thinking what I'm thinking'
'you know it soulmate'
they both snickered in naruto's head and naruto shuffled her hair before jumping away, leaving a mesmerized haku behind
'finally…someone who's stronger then zabuza-sama…I think I'm falling for him' she thought giggling to herself, forgetting she was here to kill the guy

The end people
yes I know it was short and not very…rich this time but it's a build-up
people bashing next time…well…not sakura…she's useless already
and yes…female haku…SUE ME!...wait…I haven't mentioned I don't own naruto yet…oh wait I do!...it's white, furry, has red eyes and I snuggle it to death on occasions
yup…its my bunny
freddy mercury out !