So here is the next chapter. It was supposed to come up sooner, but I have been busy.
Thank you to those who read my story and to those who has added it to favorite and put it on alert. And of course thank you so much for the reviews. You are amazing!
Thank you to my lovely beta Kherbers for her lovely support and for helping me with this story.
I do not own the Twilight Saga or the characters. But I wish I did – but who wouldn't?
Chapter 9: Unexpected feelings
EPOV
It was beginning to really frightening me that Bella had such an impact on me. It seemed like I had changed since she moved here. She had changed me. And as much as I hated that I also liked it. It was frustrating the way she seemed to turn me into a better person. I wasn't sure if I really wanted to change or become a better person. I'm sure I wouldn't have earlier, but something in me wanted me to change, just for her. At the same time I was really mad at myself for even thinking like that. I felt like I was losing my grip, or even worse, I was losing myself.
I had been like this for so long. I had been like an empty shell with no feelings. I could play people and I didn't give a damn about other people or their feelings.
But then Bella came along, and it seemed like she had turned my world completely upside down.
It was strange to have these feelings. I hadn't had them before, and I had never thought I could ever feel this way. I had to do something to get rid of those strange feelings. I couldn't allow myself to have them, and if Rose found out about all of this, she would laugh at me, or even worse she could make my life a living hell.
Shortly after we became step siblings, we found out about each other's non existing feelings or compassion for others, and we made some sort of a pack that we would always stay together as empty shells with no feelings, and if one of us got to have those feelings then we had to get rid of them.
We could confide in each other and if one of us got feelings for another person that could be destroyed, and I certainly didn't want to destroy my bond with Rose. She was too important for me. But so is Bella? NO! I couldn't let myself think like that. For Christ sake. I hadn't even known Bella for that long.
It had only happened one time before that one of us got some feelings for another person and that didn't end up very well.
I knew I had to do something soon. Before I saw Bella again. So I decided to visit an old friend of mine. She had always been a friend with benefits. She was one of the few girls that I had been with more times than one. We knew what each other wanted and liked.
"Hello handsome," her voice purred on the other line. She knew what I wanted and I could hear that she was ready for anything.
"Expect me to be over in half an hour," I said and waited for her response. I knew she couldn't say no to me.
Seconds passed so I knew she was busy but tried to figure something out, so I could visit her.
"Okay, half an hour sounds great."
"Thanks," I said and pushed the end button.
I quickly took a shower, and then sped away to my destination.
When I arrived I had gotten a message from Rosalie, asking me where I was and that Angela would be coming over soon.
"Just keep Angela busy, I'll be home as soon as I can."
"Are you still with your little swan?"Swan? In hadn't thought of her as my swan before. Bella, my beautiful swan. What? NO!
"Nope."
I turned off my phone and sprang up the steps to the house and then rang the doorbell. The door got pulled open almost instantly, and she appeared before me in only black silk underwear.
"Hello gorgeous," she purred.
"Hello Tanya," I winked at her.
And with that Tanya pulled me inside, slammed the door behind me and we began pulling each others clothes off.
After we were done, and both completely satisfied, or I used to be completely satisfied after every fuck with Tanya, I quickly said goodbye and drove home to meet with Angela. On the way I couldn't shake off this weird feeling that I had. I wasn't satisfied at all. I felt disgusted with myself. But I couldn't explain why.
Rose welcomed me at our front door. "She is upstairs in your room waiting for you."
For a brief second I hoped she meant Bella, but I knew it wasn't her. I shrugged and walked by her.
"She was very nervous, almost crying," Rosalie said behind me. "I told her that you only wanted to help her."
I shrugged again and began climbing the stairs.
"Yeah no problem, asshole!" Rosalie yelled after me.
"Whatever," I sighed only low enough for me to hear. I wasn't in the mood to talk to anyone right now, not even my dear step sister. And I definitely didn't want to deal with Angela.
She was sitting at my black leather sofa with her legs crossed, and her hands neatly folded on top on her knee.
"Hey," I said and closed the door behind me.
"Hi," she smiled timidly at me.
"So…" she began.
I cut her off. "Just wait a minute. I have to do something first."
I walked over to my safe, typed the code and took out my diary and sat down at my desk. Before I began writing I threw a glance at Angela. She sat looking around nervously. She didn't look anywhere near me, and I was grateful for that. I needed my space right now, and I could easily ignore her presence and pretend she wasn't there.
I visited Tanya today so I could finally get some release. I'm still waiting for the satisfaction and the peace I always feel after, but I'm a little concerned it won't come. I don't know what is happening to me. I feel disgusted with myself. I haven't felt like this before, and I don't know why I feel like a total piece of shit.
Maybe I have to reevaluate myself as a person. Do I really want to be Edward Cullen the womanizer and the player? I used to like that people thought of me like that but now I'm not so sure anymore. But at the same time I definitely doesn't want to be the old me; Edward Masen.
I went to Tanya just to try and get myself right back on track again, and I don't know what I expected. That it would have worked maybe? But I can feel now it didn't. It just made me want to be that person even less.
What is happening to me?
Maybe I can find myself when I have played a little more with Angela who is by the way sitting here nervously in my room, and waiting for me to finish writing. I really hope this will work, but I doubt it when Tanya and her mind-blowing sex didn't work.
Have mercy on me and get me back on track and find myself again.
I closed the diary and walked over and sat beside Angela. "Hey sweety," I lay my left arm around her, and pulled her close to me.
"You weren't at school today," she whispered.
So she had noticed. But who wouldn't have, I was Edward Cullen.
"So you noticed," I decided to embarrass her a little bit.
Angela blushed and nodded.
I really hoped that she didn't begin crushing on me because then she would be harder to get rid of.
"So let's just cut to the chase, shall we?" I asked her and she nodded. But I could see by the look in her eye that she was a little disappointed. What did she expect from me? That we played with dolls before making out? I certainly didn't have any dolls. But maybe Angela still had some. Stop thinking about dolls, idiot.
We made out for what seemed like an eternity. I couldn't quite focus on my task which was to get her to take of her clothes. It seemed like she only wanted to kiss.
"Let's take it further," I said against her lips.
"What?" Angela gasped.
"You know what I mean," I said and dipped my hand down her pants. I was fast and when I found what I was looking for she gasped again.
"What are you – oh – doing?" she almost panted. She liked it.
"Just enjoy it," I commanded. And she did, she really did.
We didn't get any further than me playing with her. I'm sure I could have taken it way further but I wasn't in the mood for it.
"So Rosalie invited me to your party on Friday," Angela said when she jumped out of my bed, her cheeks flushed after her wild orgasm. Most certainly the first she had ever gotten from the look on her face.
I almost groaned. That bitch. It would be tough to have both my games at the party. I knew why Rose had invited Angela. She wanted to make it tougher for me, and she wanted to fuck with me. Game on, bitch. Two can play that game. I knew who I had to invite to piss her off.
"Great. I would have asked you. So are you coming?" Please say no.
"Sure," she said. It didn't seem like she looked forward to it. "Rosalie said that she was sure you would take care of me, and be my date."
Of course she had said that. She loved to piss me off. That little bitch.
We always did things like that to each other. There was almost a game between us. Make the other ones life miserable. But as much as we hated each other we loved each other more. Damn, why did she have to be my step sister?
"Are you sure you don't want Ben to be your date?" I smiled crookedly at her. I really didn't want her to be my date.
"Rose said that he isn't coming," she blushed. "And if he did, I wouldn't dare ask him."
"Oh, I thought that he did. But well then I guess I'll have you all to myself," luckily she didn't see me cringing because she was looking down at her feet.
Angela looked up at me pleased and smiled.
"I'll see you tomorrow at school," I said while I showed her out of my room. I really didn't want to kiss her goodbye.
"Don't I get to…" she trailed off. For the love of all that is holy.
"I think you got a lot earlier, don't you think."
With that she blushed and hurried down the hall.
Finally. I shut the door and went over to my couch. I just wanted to relax and watch some TV. Maybe think a little about what Bella would be wearing Friday. Hopefully almost nothing. Stop thinking about her every other second!
I had just found the remote control, when my door slammed open. It hit the wall with a loud smack.
"What the fuck?" I sprang up from the couch and dropped the remote on the floor.
It was Rosalie standing in all her glory in her long pink robe of satin. "Hey handsome," she purred at me. So she wanted to have a little fun. "Did you enjoy having Angela over?" She couldn't hide her distaste when she said her name.
"Are you naked underneath?" I sat down on the couch again.
"Wouldn't you want to know," she slowly walked towards me.
"So you invited Angela to our party, and you told her I would be her date because Ben wouldn't come. And I assume that you promised her that because you want to piss me off. Tell me if I'm wrong?" I raised my eyebrow at her.
"Dear sweet brother, you are correct."
"Please don't call me brother. Remember I'm going to fuck your brains out sooner or later."
"Let's just make it past the party on Friday, and then see what happens, right?" Rose giggled. She knew something I didn't, I could tell. But I didn't want to ask her, because I knew her too well to know that she wouldn't tell me.
She stood in front of me and slowly reached down and placed her hands on my shoulder, and then slowly straddled my lap. The rope fell to the sides and I could see her little lace panties, so she weren't naked underneath. "I can't wait until Friday, it is going to be one hell of a party."
Sure it would. She had something up her sleeve, something that involved me and I didn't like it one bit. But I would get her back. If I just knew what she was up to? But I knew one thing; I had to invite one special person who could screw it all up for her.
"It sure is," I snickered.
Rosalie's eyes got big. "You got something planned?"
"Do you, my dear?"
"You'll just have to wait and see," she said and bent down and sucked on my left earlobe. "What do you have up your sleeve?" She tried to get it out of me by seducing me.
"I could ask you the same thing, Rose."
She pulled away from me and pouted. She didn't like it when I kept secrets from her, but I felt the same way with her, and she always kept something hidden from me.
"Let's just agree that it is going to be an exciting party," I said and kissed her on the tip on her nose.
"I can always make you tell me," Rose purred and straddled me harder while she began licking and sucking my neck.
I grabbed her ass and she began rocking her hips. I was getting a real hard on by now.
"You know I don't like it when you keep things from me," she placed both her hands at my chest.
"I know," I chuckled. "Keep going, you might just get it out of me."
"Oh, I can get more than that out from you," she winked and then pulled away from me and stood up.
I looked up at her, waiting for her next move. I was sure she was going to flee in a second.
"Down boy," she said and pointed at the big bulge in my pants. She then turned on her heal and walked out of my room.
"Oh, come on!" I yelled after her.
I lay back down on the couch. "She always does that," I murmured to myself.
Then I decided to dial my secret weapon against Rosalie.
"Edward my man, what is up?" He boomed on the other line.
"I'm fine. Rose and I are having a party on Friday and it would be a great chance to catch up again."
"I don't know about that. She isn't very fond of me, you know, after what I did to her. About that. No hard feelings huh?" It was funny to hear that big guy sound nervous. I wondered who would win if he got into a fight with Emmett.
"Of course not, just relax. Look, just come to the party at eight. Rose isn't the one to hold grudges," I lied. Rose was like the queen of holding grudges.
"Sure man, and thank you. See ya on Friday."
I pushed the end button and smiled to myself. If Rosalie wanted the party to be exciting then I would make sure it was going to be exciting. At least for me now that I knew she had planned something that would almost certainly be cruel.
The rest of the week went by slowly. I would talk to Bella everyday in Biology about all and nothing. But at the lunch table we both acted like we didn't know each other. I don't know why Bella acted that way, but I did not want to make Alice suspicious. It seemed like she had forgotten that I had an interest in Bella, also because Alice was never around when Bella and I interacted. But sometimes Alice would look at me with a thoughtful and almost knowing expression. Maybe it seemed odd to her that I hadn't tried to do anything with Bella, or at least that what was it seemed like to her. I just had to make sure it would continue that way. Keep Alice and everyone else in the dark, and keep interacting with Bella when our group wasn't around.
In school I would try as much as I could to ignore Angela. She was beginning to approach me a lot, and I was beginning to think that she maybe had a little crush on me. I had to sleep with her soon, and just get it over with, and be done with her, so I could ignore her completely.
I couldn't just ignore her now it would seem strange to her, and she would think that I had no interest in her and that I only played her. That was the truth in fact bust she couldn't know that, not just yet, but she would find out in the end.
Friday at lunch everyone at our table seemed excited about the party. Even Bella looked just a tiny bit like she looked forward to it. The party was of course the big topic.
"So what is your plan with Bella tonight?" James whispered beside me.
Before I answered him I looked around to make sure no one heard, but they were too busy in their animated conversations about tonight. "I don't really have one. Rose kind of blew it for me. She made sure that Angela would be my date."
"What? Angela the geek with the biggest black framed glasses I ever seen? What's her last name? Ah Webber."
"Yeah, you know that she is Rose's newest favorite pet," I grumbled. James and Jasper knew a little bit about how Rose and I played with people, but only just a little. But they had both promised not to say anything, but sometimes I was afraid that Jasper would tell Alice. But as he had told me, it wasn't his story to tell.
"Totally not cool. So what are you going to do?" James whispered.
"I don't know," I grumbled. I didn't have a fucking clue of what to do with both girls. I somehow had to make sure Bella didn't find out that Angela was my date, and I had to make sure that Angela wouldn't follow me around like a love sick puppy. Thank you so much, Rose. But just wait till you see who I invited.
I looked around the table. Rosalie and Emmett sat close to each other, and having a deep conversation. Their eyes sparkled. There was something between them that was for sure. I wasn't jealous or anything, I was happy for her. I would get my piece of her when I won our bet, and then afterwards he could have her all to himself, but I really doubted that would happen because Rose would sooner or later lose interest in him like she did in all of the other boys. After a little bit of fun she would break it off. If Ben hadn't broken it off with her, she would probably have done it herself shortly after, but she was mad that he ended it and because of a nerdy girl. So now she wanted revenge, because she couldn't get that the only one time before that a guy broke it up with her. That guy truly broke her heart, and I knew she still had a hard time today coping with it.
I knew it was cruel to invite that one guy to our party, but I did it anyway. I was a shady mother fucker and that would never change.
Yeah, yeah I know – we didn't get to see some Bella or Edward interaction, but she is beginning to pop up in his every thought.
Up next is the party ;) Am I the only one excited about that?
But before that – please review :)
